My computer decided to refresh the page. I lost about 900 words of this in the beginning and had to start over. AGUHGHGHHGH. And I just caught a virus, so it hasn't been going well... I have a giant work load this week and only until midnight on Tuesday to get it all done. I'll be busy this week, guys. All I've done is sleep and puke my brains out. Ohhh God, save my little broken body...


Someone called Desmond's name, smoothly, caringly. He was warm, curled up in better sheets than he had felt in years, and loathe to leave his comfort.

"Desmond," Ezio tried again, touching the young man's shoulder.

Connor's voice drifted to Desmond's ears: "I wonder who he takes after."

"No Auditore sleeps so heavily."

"Altair wakes at the sound of a breeze."

Haytham coughed, stating defensively, "Deep slumber can be highly beneficial, mind you."

Connor made an annoyed noise. "You mean you would sleep all day if you could."

"I mean you would remain asleep even if you were being stabbed."

"We will see about that!"

Their voices grated on Desmond's ears. He raised his head with a grimace. "Can I please get five more minutes of sleep?" he pleaded.

In unison the three replied, "No."

Exhaling, Desmond dropped his head back down. "There's barely any sunlight. It's way too damn early." Being a bartender meant late shifts. Never could Desmond remember rising earlier than noon.

Connor gave him a look of pure evil. He swiftly grabbed Desmond, throwing him roughly over his shoulder. "We do not have time for this."

"Hey, asshole, I can walk!" Desmond winced, the scratches on his stomach aching with Connor's broad shoulder digging into them.

"Connor, please," urged Ezio.

Haytham folded his arms irritably. "Put him down, son."

"Hm?" Connor turned, accidentally bumping Desmond's head against the doorframe with a loud konk!

"Connor!" Haytham exclaimed, bringing a hand to his face.

"What!"

Desmond held his bruised temple. "Ow, fuck..."

"Just sit him in the hallway," said Ezio.

As Desmond was raising his head again, Connor turn the opposite direction and this time, toward the edge of the open door. Oh, shit.


Desmond woke with his face against something brittle. He slowly pushed himself up from the grass, groaning. It was full morning now, with the sun beaming down at him as he cradled his pulsating skull. He first noticed the large, open field he was in and that it was nowhere near the city. He secondly noticed Ezio crouching by his shoulder, with Connor and Haytham not far away. A silver van was parked a few yards away.

"Good morning, bambino," greeted Ezio.

If looks could kill, Desmond might admit he would be an excellent Assassin. "What the hell happened?"

"You were unconscious after Connor hit your head against the door. We brought you out here anyway."

Desmond felt the nasty knot growing on his head from the blow, cursing. "Oh sure, just a doozy." I probably have a concussion now, thank you.

"We're only doing a bit of training today, to get you started."

Are you fucking insane. Are you mother-fucking-insane. Preparing to make his boundary known, he began uneasily, "Listen..."

Ezio did not hear him, instead standing with a grin. "But first," he spread his arms, "we play a game!"

Desmond squinted, wind gently blowing on his neck. "Huh?"

Pushing Desmond's head down, Ezio hopped over him, exclaiming, "Leap!"

Desmond knelt there, shivering a bit as he tried to register what had happened. "Wait..." He gazed at Ezio kneeling in front of him in confusion.

Connor came running toward him from behind like a freight train. "Head down!" he called.

With a yelp, Desmond flattened himself. Connor passed over him and did the same over Ezio, sinking to the ground in front of him. Arms crossed, Haytham watched silently from afar. Connor gestured to him, yelling indignantly, "Father!"

Haytham remained. "No."

"Come on, Haytham!" Ezio shouted.

"I do not hop," the Brit declared.

Desmond paused for a moment, wondering what to do. At last, he joined in, "Come on, old man!" Could be fun, I guess. I need to buy myself time.

Sighing, Haytham leisurely strode over. He skipped hopping and crouched in front of his son, muttering, "Go ahead, then."

Without really caring what he was doing, Desmond hopped over the three men. Once crouched, he asked, "So where's the hooded bastard?"

Ezio leapt over Desmond, saying, "Altair will return in a while, he had a bit of work to do on the way."

When it came for Haytham's turn, the man stood in a dignified way and walked to kneel in front of the line again. Connor snickered, "Cheating."

Desmond went over and started to flatten himself again, thinking. When Ezio came to crouch in front of Desmond, he sat up, explaining, "Now we make it more difficult."

Desmond's leg wound started to hurt at the thought of having to hop higher. Ezio seemed not realize the vulnerability their crotches had. They began to kneel upright instead of sitting for each new line, with Haytham indifferently walking to the front each time. At last Ezio stood, leaning forward somewhat to make the leap easier. "Alright, go."

"Ugh..." Desmond grimaced, seeing the other two men had no problem following suit. Standing back a bit for a decent start, he jogged a stride and went over the three of them, landing heavily at the end. Easier than I thought. Desmond allowed Ezio to fly over him, frowning when he stood tall after Haytham walked around to the front.

Ezio looked back at Desmond playfully, saying, "You can do it, bambino. One more turn."

Backing up, Desmond gestured to the others to spread apart. "Can you stand farther... yeah, okay. Here goes."

With decent room, he ran and jumped over Ezio, pushing up over his shoulders. He almost bumped into Connor, having to stand back again to get a running start for both him and Haytham. Going over Haytham, he snatched the man's hat as he went over, not wanting to hop higher to clear it. He landed breathlessly, feeling Haytham grasp his shoulder. Haytham stared down his nose at Desmond, holding out his hand. "Give that back."

Desmond sheepishly did as he was told, while Connor and Ezio leaped over them nimbly. Haytham firmly secured his hat on his head, saying, "Now this, I can do."

"That's more like it!" Ezio cheered as Haytham stood back for a running start. Desmond paled, wide-eyed.

Quickly, Ezio spun Desmond around to face forward correctly. Desmond gave a frightened noise as Haytham roughly pushed off his shoulders, soaring over him and Ezio. Facing Connor, Haytham dusted off his hands and said, "There, done."

Connor seethed. "You won't leap over me?"

"That is a terrible whining tone, Connor."

"It's because I am taller than you."

Desmond shifted his weight from either leg, checking the level of pain and weakness he had in his wounded one. The wound seemed to be healing well enough, he could run and jump without a wave of agony. He could run. As he turned, considering an escape route, he instead clipped his jaw on Altair's chin. Altair had leaned back as Desmond moved into him. Unfazed, he said, "I'm glad to see you can move unhindered."

Now with a bruised forehead and an aching jaw, Desmond snapped, "How the fuck, man? We're in an open goddamn field and you just appeared!"

Altair looked at him blandly. "I am skilled in such areas."

"It is good you returned in one piece," said Ezio, approaching to embrace Altair.

Smoothly stepping around him and to the side of Desmond, Altair scooped out a round object from his shoulder pack. "I had some difficulty crossing the river."

Altair turned the golden sphere over in his hands, setting off a strange glow. Desmond's vision shivered and changed, with new hues appearing to overshadow others. Confused, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"For the sake of practice, I am tampering with your eagle vision. Tell me who is blue."

Desmond rubbed his face, all kinds of questions speeding through his mind. "Slow down here, friend..."

"Pull yourself together."

Quelling under Altair's sharp tone, Desmond relented. This was not what he was expecting at all. Now he was hallucinating. Things were becoming far too ludicrous for him, but he could not very well turn and run now. Not with the four of them closed around him. Damn it. "Alright..." Desmond narrowed his eyes. "Ezio is blue."

"And the others?"

"Connor is white, Haytham is yellow, you are red."

"Good. White indicates information, blue are allies, yellow are targets, red are enemies."

Desmond rolled his eyes. "Sounds accurate, now what is that thing and how are you doing that?"

"It is an ancestral ability. This object is a piece of Eden, an Apple. Never mind it for now." Moving the object in his hands again, the glow and colors ceased. "Use eagle vision on your own."

"Fucking crazy shit..." Desmond swore under his breath, pacing.

Ezio anxiously looked between them, saying, "Altair, he might not understand it so soon."

"Maybe," Altair shrugged. "We have little time either way. He must grasp it today or never."

"Perhaps informing him would help?" mused Haytham.

"That would compromise our work."

Desmond focused his eyes, blinking. "Hey, I think I have it!"

"See?" Altair gestured to him. "He caught on."

Ezio folded his hands behind his head, exhaling. "I know, but it is all very quick. I am concerned for his sanity."

Altair set his mouth in a straight line. "He has clear composure and soundness of mind. I do not doubt that for an instant."

Desmond gazed around in awe with his new sight. Seeing things in a refocused, strange light was mesmerizing to an extent. He felt some other urge now, as if an instinct was coming back to him.

"Fine, but-"

"Desmond!" Haytham shouted. "What are you doing? Get off the car!"

Perching on the highest point of the van, Desmond glanced over his shoulder, calling back wonderously, "I have no idea, I think I'm synchronizing a viewpoint!"

Altair stared back at Ezio. He pulled his hood farther over his face, growling, "Don't."

Ezio smiled behind his hand, chuckling, "Well, this is why we agreed on an open field." They watched as Haytham tried to get him down, with Connor doubled over in laughter. "No heights."


Look at all that dialogue. Look. At all. That. Dialogue. Took me a while due to illness and general shit to do, but behold! Yeah, I'm going to slaughter the concept of the pieces of Eden. I'm sorry. I never really understood them in the game and when I tried to read about them in the wiki, I was even more confused. So I'm AU-ing this bitch like it's a season premier of Doctor Who.