Outside In – Chapter 4
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer.
Thanks to her for bringing them to us.
No copyright infringement is intended
Big thanks to the endlessly patient and helpful Snuggler for being my beta.
CHAPTER 4
Bella spent the next day with Jake too and, by the end, was beginning to regain that easy sense of comfort she had with him. It gave her confidence that she could be around friends and just be normal again. When Bella awoke on the Saturday morning, she felt hopeful that this whole nightmare might be something she could put behind her. It was early days yet but there were hints of progress, like the first green shoots breaking through the soil in spring. Jess phoned.
Jess was being her usual bossy self, "Right missy," she commanded, "I'm fed up with this hiding, you're coming out with me. I'm fetching you at 12 and we're seeing Angela for lunch at Mickey's. No arguing. Got that?"
Bella chuckled, "Yes Miss."
There were times when Jessica taking charge was a good thing. Sometimes you needed that kick up the backside. This could even be fun. The novelty of the party should have worn off by now and with any luck Jess wouldn't bring it up again. It would be great to see Angela, too. Bella hadn't seen her since school broke up.
Jessica had Mike in her car when she arrived. He seemed to be deliberately avoiding making eye contact, and looked as if he had a nasty smell under his nose. Bella guessed that this was his attempt at nonchalant, trying to prove how much he didn't care that she'd rejected him. What a loser, thought Bella. They drove off and, twenty minutes later, were pulling up against the pavement a few doors down from Mickey's. Once out of the car, Mike and Jess led the way arm-in-arm. Mickey's café was a mixture of plastic, chrome and grease. It was also loud, colourful and usually full of teenagers which made it the obvious place to hang out. Angela was sitting with her back to the window when they arrived but got up and smiled when she saw Bella waving enthusiastically from the doorway. Mike and Jess went to order drinks while Bella weaved her way through the assault course of chairs and tables to get to her friend. Angela had dark eyes, jet black hair and wore glasses. She also had a sweet, gentle nature. Bella had missed her quiet and trustworthy friendship. "So great to see you," Bella shouted over the noise and meant it, hugging Angela with enthusiasm and plonking down into the seat opposite. Angela's parents were divorced too. She lived with her Mum but had just returned from a week's camping holiday with her Dad.
"Come on then, tell all. How was it?" said Bella.
"Great," said Angela as she pulled out her camera. "Sorry, I've brought photos, loads of photos. Let me know when you start to nod off." She moved to the seat that was at right angles to Bella and started to go through them, sharing the camera.
"Oh great, holiday pics," said Jess sarcastically, gingerly placing a tray with four cappuccinos on the table. "Come on then, let's get it over and done with."
Jess took Angela's original seat so that she could share the camera too and Mike took the remaining chair. Angela and her Dad had had a whale of a time, by the sounds of things. She talked about it enthusiastically as she showed pictures of the two of them eating, drinking, posing and pulling silly faces in front of the tent, this mountain, that waterfall, just about everywhere. This was great: Angela smiled and chatted with a shy but delightful enthusiasm; Jessica shifted and wriggled with untapped energy; Mike looked peeved at being left out. Everything was back to normal, just how it should be.
Angela was just describing her Dad's cooking skills, "scrambled nuggets on toast for breakfast, mmm, mmm, mmmmmmm," when Jess flicked a glance over Bella's shoulder, leant across the table and said in a low voice. "There's a guy over there who came in just after us and he keeps looking in our direction. I think I've seen him before but I dunno where, do any of you know him?"
Angela and Mike looked across and shrugged. Bella turned her head and her world fell away. There he sat, the guy from the party, the one with the face she'd hoped never to see again, the one who reminded her that she was lower than dirt. He was draped casually over one of the plastic seats; sitting in an exotic bubble, the epitome of cool in a sea of dorkiness. If you were going to stand out, this was the way to do it. He was dressed entirely in black, charismatic but darkly dangerous too. His ebony skin shone, his black, mesmerising eyes fixed Bella and he smirked. She remembered his musky-sweet smell and his voice, "We could have some fun." Bella's stomach clenched.
"Actually, was he at your party?" gabbled Jessica to Mike.
"I dunno, it's not anyone I know. I was off my head anyway but Tom said we had some gatecrashers so could've been."
Bella could feel all the blood draining from her face. "I'm sorry, I don't feel well," she croaked. "I need to go. I think I'm gonna be sick." She got up and practically launched herself towards the door, aware of the black eyes burning into the back of her head.
The others gathered their belongings and joined her outside.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," Bella lied. She felt terrible. She'd spoiled everything.
"Do you wanna lift home?" offered Jessica.
"No thanks. I'll be fine. I'll get a bus. I probably just need some fresh air." What she needed was time alone. She didn't head straight to the bus stop. For a long time, she simply wandered aimlessly. This wasn't fair; she had been making good progress and was instantly back to where she'd started. She had 'slid down the biggest snake' and was back at square one; back to the fruitless questions. What had possessed her to go off with a guy she'd never met before like that? What kind of spell had he cast over her? Could he ever repeat it? How had she got so drunk? Who wrote the note?
After traipsing along endless pavements, for what seemed like hours, she eventually did find her way to the bus stop and then had to wait an hour for a bus. She sat slumped with her head down, beginning to wish she had accepted the offer of a lift after all. It had been so hard to see that face again so soon, that knowing smirk, knowing what he knew. She shivered and needed to be at home. He'd turned the outside world into a place of lurking danger. Glancing around, she noticed a low wall here, an industrial bin there. There were lots of places he could hide, watching her. She really was getting paranoid. The bus, when it came, felt like a rescue. Once in the sanctity of the bus she relaxed. In the hour that it took to jolt her about while it pootled round all the villages she worked on calming her nerves and formulating a plan. Yes, she'd done something stupid and no, this wasn't the way these things were supposed to happen but was she going to let it affect the rest of her life? No. She couldn't keep going back into hiding. By the time she stepped down from the bus, she'd reached a decision. She'd give herself this evening to pull herself together and tomorrow she'd get right back out there. Her mobile rang, dragging her out of her thoughts.
"Bella, honey, where are you?" It was Mum.
"At the bus stop, on my way home."
"Oh great. Listen, I need a favour. The Cullens are having this cocktail party evening and Sue's got some kind of sickness bug so can't serve drinks. You could pop on a white blouse and black skirt couldn't you? I've got an apron here."
Bella felt there was no way she could do this. She was she an emotional wreck right now. Weren't waitresses supposed to be cool and collected? Even more problematic was that she was clumsy at the best of times.
"I actually don't feel too well myself," she pleaded.
"Oh, you'll be fine. There's really not much to it. Just carry drinks round. David will show you what to do. Pleeease, I wouldn't ask if they didn't really need your help. Please."
What was the point in arguing? Bella knew she would say yes. She was a sucker when it came to people asking for help. She really was a girl who couldn't say nnnn…...
"OK," she sighed
"Aw, thank you, you're a star – see you in an hour."
Bella showered, and washed and combed her hair, pulling it back into a pony-tail. It looked neater that way. Then she put on the only white blouse and black skirt she had, her old school uniform. She hadn't worn it for a year and it was a little too small for her now, but would have to do. With any luck, the apron would cover it up. She finished off with black ballet-style pumps; if she was going to be on her feet all evening, she needed to be comfortable. Finally, she threw on a cardigan and trudged down the drive with her hands thrust deep into the pockets. In the kitchen, Bella slipped off the cardigan and Mum handed her a white apron. It was a small, white lacy thing, about the size of a pocket handkerchief, with ties that went round the waist. What function was that supposed to serve? It wasn't going to be much use as a cover-up. But she didn't think it would be much of a problem. No-one was likely to be looking at her. Then she went to find David, the Cullen's butler, to get instructions. From the way he described the task, it did sound easy. She just had to greet the first guests with a tray of drinks, refilling as necessary. When most of the guests had arrived, she needed to alternate taking trays of drinks or canapés round to them. Nothing to it, she told herself, hopefully.
"Right, ready for action stations?" said David, trying to put her at ease. She didn't feel very ready but had managed to talk herself into believing that if she could just focus on not dropping anything, she'd be fine. For some reason, she wasn't surprised at who came in to check that she was good to go, despite not having seen him for three days.
"Hi," she said, biting her lip nervously.
It was fortunate she didn't have a tray of drinks in her hand when she saw Edward. He strode in casually, stopped, placed his hands on his hips and surveyed her. His tailored shirt fitted his slim frame to perfection and his suit trousers hung low. He also wore the most enormous grin. He reminded her of the spaniels with their tongues hanging out and tails furiously beating left and right as if a simple wag wasn't enough. She couldn't help but smile.
"Really great of you to help out," he said. Then he stepped aside and gestured her through.
Bella headed into the dining room to await the first guests with a tray of drinks in her hands while David went off to greet them at the front door. She had never seen the dining room look so beautiful. The normally dark room sparkled. The table was adorned with fine crockery, ornate candle sticks with flickering candles and a sumptuous buffet. The crowning glory in the room was the magnificent cut glass chandelier. It threw tiny rainbow beams back and forth which reflected in the dark polished surface of the old wood panelling. The first people to enter were the Cullen's themselves. Apart from Edward, there was Mr Cullen - tall, white haired and distinguished looking, with a slightly Roman profile; he had a quiet but commanding presence. Then there was his wife: small, slim, round faced and pretty. She, too, was quiet but friendlier. Emmett, the Cullen's older son had come to visit for the weekend. He was named after one of his father's American uncles and was a big rugby-player type, a sports physiotherapist: handsome, dark-haired, large and loud. With him was his beautiful but frosty blonde wife. They were a strikingly attractive family. Mrs Cullen seemed surprised to see Bella there until Edward explained the situation. She smiled and expressed her gratitude. Then the first guests started to arrive. Bella felt quite daunted, insignificant among the designer dresses, heavy make-up, jewellery and tailored suits. These were people who dripped wealth and status, the beautiful people or, if not beautiful, at least well preserved. In no time her senses swam with the heady scent of expensive perfume. She replenished the tray a few times as the room filled. The hubbub of voices began to blend into one general rumble occasionally pierced by a burst of laughter, high pitched or rich and fruity, some natural, some forced. Then she set about moving among them, ducking and diving between bodies and clutching her tray of drinks as inconspicuously as possible. As she drifted from one conversation to another, she caught snippets here and there: "Did he go to the same prep school?" "- a truly exceptional collection." "He's in Oz, this time, I think." These people really did seem to inhabit a completely different world.
She needn't have worried about her tight fitting clothes; everyone was far too wrapped up in their own social circle to notice her. She was serving a useful function, like a toaster, and people paid her about the same amount of attention. It was probably a good thing and helped her to relax a little. Every now and then she spotted Edward. However inappropriate, and whatever she felt about herself, it really was difficult not to gaze when you caught sight of him. Fortunately, he was engaged in conversation with guests. She noticed his smile; it seemed to light up the space around him. He laughed easily and she remembered the sound of his rich chuckle. His lovely auburn hair looked clean and lustrous. Most of it couldn't seem to make up its mind which direction to grow in so it just went everywhere at once. All, that is, except for the hair on the nape of his neck which settled into a smooth and satisfying V. It beckoned your fingers to run through it. His green eyes danced and sparkled and his perfect bow-shaped lips made watching him talk a joy. His classic Greek nose balanced his strong and perfectly chiselled jaw. There was an easy grace about him. His slim and sinewy body was poised and elegant as if he was perfectly comfortable in his own skin. Bella felt he was everything she wasn't, confident and beautiful. She watched him from a distance, chatting, laughing, nodding in silent agreement. Now that she could just appreciate him from afar without feeling overwhelmed by him, he brought a warm glow to her heart just by existing. A couple of times she thought she saw him glance in her direction but why would he want to do that when he had a roomful of people with whom he had so much more in common?
Bella noticed that her tray was empty and went back to refill.
"It all seems to be going OK," she said to David, as much to reassure herself as anything.
"Yes, thanks for lending a hand," he replied.
As she moved back across the floor, arms reached out as she passed and, in no time, the tray was nearly empty again. She felt there was something quite indulgent in these people having their drinks delivered to them so that they wouldn't have to interrupt the flow of their conversation, but the rich could afford to be indulgent. There was one drink to go; it would be gone in no time. Her path suddenly seemed blocked by a knot of people and she had to make quite a wide circle to get round. This brought her much closer to Edward than she had been before. He was in the corner, chatting to a stunning blonde girl of about the same age. Bella felt a small irrational pang of jealousy as he focussed on his companion but she was aware, too, of a little frown creasing the bridge of his nose. He tilted his head down as he brought the glass to his perfect rosebud lips and maintained eye contact with the blonde by looking up through his long eyelashes. He pouted slightly as he took a sip. How could drinking look so erotic? A second later, he seemed to sense Bella's presence and turned to look straight at her with a dazzling smile. Bella spun round, completely thrown, just as one of the guests was heading towards her. Then everything seemed to go into horribly inevitable slow motion. The remaining glass of red wine toppled over the edge of the tray and poured onto the cream shirt of the guest before crashing to the floor. There was a gasp from someone nearby. Real time rushed in "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she frantically apologised before falling to her knees, scrabbling around to collect the pieces of broken crystal and put them on the tray. The butler was there in no time, already armed with a suitable cloth which he handed to Bella to rub the carpet. Then he escorted the guest away to deal with the stained shirt. Bella felt ridiculously foolish.
She fled from the scene of her crime carrying the tray with her. Outside in the corridor, she placed the tray on the carpet and stood with her face to the wall. How could a smile throw her into such a state of turmoil? He had probably only looked at her because she wouldn't stop looking at him and now she'd paid the price for it. She had no idea what to do next. She'd promised to help. Could they manage without her help? Would they want help from someone so clearly useless? She couldn't seem to get anything right. The stresses of the day came crashing down on her and her brave front dissolved. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Then she felt a comforting and gentle hand being placed on her shoulder and she spun round.
"There you are. Hey what's with this? It's only a bit of wine. It's nothing," he said.
Bella looked up at the kind, green eyes twinkling down at her and considered the possibility that he might be lovely on the inside too.
