CHAPTER 4

Aunt Elsa must have a blind rooster she needs to wake up. She began banging around the kitchen before daybreak. Within a few minutes the smell of rich coffee drifted down the hall to my make shift bedroom and I heard the sizzle of bacon in the frying pan. It helped raise my mood from piss poor to just defeated. I follow my nose to the kitchen after folding up and tucking away my bed stuffs and am greeted by a big smile from Aunt Elsa. "Well, how did you sleep?" she beams. I had a flashback to my nightmare of her and reply, "Like a baby," with the colic, I am thinking. She pushes me down in the chair and slings down a plate of bacon and toast. Then she hands me a huge cup of coffee. I stare into it like a gypsy trying to read tea leaves. Thinking maybe the coffee gods will foretell my future. No response. Damn. This is gonna be a long day. Even before my mom and Sig begin to stir, Aunt Elsa is issuing me a list of chores and errands that she needs done. I am thinking no problem, get me out of here for a while. As she gives me the list I nearly run out of the place kissing her on her cheek as I duck out the door. "Keep your eyes open for something else to pucker up to!" she yells after me. I just keep on walkin'.

The first order of business is to go to the open market for fresh fish. She has requested something that is not in season, but the locals still no where to get it. Rationalization had found its way to this little island but good luck enforcing it. The special species of Pollock she requested was fairly represented at the market. I selected a few good specimens and had them wrapped up. I continued to the fresh vegetable and fruit market on the back street and got all she required there as well. The bag the cute veggie vendor gave me was packed and as I did not elect to take the car, I had to make a return trip to Elsa's to lighten the load. I caught myself for a second. Did I just say "cute veggie stand girl?" I turn around and find the girl smiling at me. She looks away. I approach. She is very shy and refers to me as Mr. Hansen. I say, "Do I know you?" She drops her head down and says, "No sir. But I know who you are Mr. Hansen, everyone knows who you are." With that revelation I simply reply, "Elsa?" The young clerk smiles. I notice she is a bit younger than I previously thought and bluntly ask her, "Exactly how old are you anyway?" She smiles sheepishly and looks at me with the brightest blue eyes, "My name is Inga and I am only seventeen, not an option, huh?"I give her my best smile and let her down as gently as I can, "Yeah darling you are a little young for me but I swear you must be the prettiest girl on the island." And with that declaration she seemed to be satisfied as she blushed all the way to her hands. I picked up my purchases and began the long walk back to Elsa's house, thankful that I did not take the car. I needed this time to cool down or the old bird was gonna get it. I had never been more embarrassed in my life.

Upon entering Elsa's house I find 20 pairs of eyes on me instantly. All women and smack dab between them sits mom and Elsa. I place the bag on the nearest piece of countertop to me and back slowly out of the kitchen, never taking my eyes off the mob of eager females and their mothers. I am smiling and slightly nodding my head like a man trying to peacefully avoid a grizzly bear. Once the door is closed I make a full run to then end of the yard and let out what can only be described as a primal scream. It is then I hear my brother Sig half laughing, half choking as he comes sneaking out from behind the greenhouse. I give him a look that could kill and take his cigarette from him. I did this not because of his coughing fit but simply because I needed it. I take a long drag and exhale with, "This time she has gone too far." Sig shakes his head and remarks, "This place has been a mad house since breakfast. I bet there have been twenty women through that door this morning. Pick one damnit! This constant cackling is giving me a damn migraine!" He reclaims his cigarette and takes the final drag before stomping it out. "Okay little bro, I got a plan."