Chapter Four

Elizabeth's heart crashed into her feet. He was in love with someone else and she felt like an idiot for practically throwing herself at him.

"You got over her pretty quickly then." She held onto the anger building within her. Why didn't he tell her before she came on to him?

Rodney scoffed and she narrowed her eyes. He moved away and paced the room. She watched him, desire battling the anger.

"I didn't get over her very fast," he said, his hands flying. "I doubt I ever got over her."

Her heart hammered in her chest and hoped bloomed.

He stopped in front of her, a finger in her face. "It took a year to get over her and even then when I think I'm passed the pain and grief something brings her back along with all the feelings I've ever felt for her."

"Like now." An emotional storm brewed in his blue eyes. Blue eyes she thought she'd never look into again. It brought both pain and hope rushing through her.

She wanted to pull him into her arms and kiss him.

He sighed and stepped away. "Like now."

Rodney stood before the window, looking down into the Gateroom below. He appeared so lost and alone, she wanted to reach out to him and comfort him. The fact he was in love with someone else kept her leaning against her desk.

"I wish I could take away your pain." She strode across the room toward him. "But it'll be like me trying to take my own pain away."

His blue eyes bore into her and her breath caught. So much pain and anguish burning within them tore at her. She did the only thing she could; she wrapped her arms around him and held her against him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her own voice cracking with grief.

His arms came around her and his warmth enclosed around her. Tears stung her eyes. Memories of them standing like this flashed before her. To have him here with her, brought so much rushing back. She felt she'd burst from it all. She'd loved him so much the pain of losing him never went away. To have him back was a dream come true and she didn't want to let him go.

The sound of a throat clearing startled her. She spun around, stepping away from Rodney. Sheppard came into the office, eyeing both of them with a raised eyebrow.

"John," Elizabeth cleared her throat. "What can I do for you?"

John looked from Elizabeth to Rodney back to her. A corner of her mouth tilted up and she tried her best to look away before he saw it.

"I was looking for Rodney, but I see this should have been my first place to look."

"If you've given me an earpiece, you wouldn't have had to search the entire city," Rodney said. The tone of his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Next time, I'll just yell. Over the intercom."

The banter between then two made her heart swell. It seemed like Rodney never left. She caught the underlining suspicion in Sheppard's voice. Apparently, he still didn't trust the scientist.

She sighed. "What did you want to see him for, John?"

He looked at her as if just realizing she was there. She raised an eyebrow, signaling she wanted him to get to the point before she lost her patience.

"I assume you go off world in your reality?" John asked, turning his gaze to Rodney.

Rodney scoffed. "Of course. Did you find something you don't understand?"

"When are we going to run into a nice Rodney McKay?" John looked at her with a long suffering sigh.

"Hey, I can be nice."

"Sure you can." He handed him a headpiece. "Gear up. You're coming with us."

Excitement blazed in his blue eyes. Her heart leaped at the sight. He smiled at her and placed the earpiece in his ear. She watched him leave, her heart going with him.

"Be careful," she called after him.

He turned, his smile bright and full of boyish excitement. "I'm the poster child for careful. See you soon."

~*~

Rodney stepped through the gate, half expecting to wind up back in his own reality. Instead, he found himself in the middle of a frozen wasteland. Wind lashed at his face, chilling him to the bone. He glared at Sheppard, wondering if this was punishment of some sort.

"What the hell is this?"

Snow whipped around him and he wanted to turn around and head back to Atlantis. He didn't care if it wasn't his world. He didn't want to freeze to death.

John shouted over the blizzard. "We found an Ancient device when we last visited this planet. We couldn't get it out."

Rodney stared at him. "Have you tried digging?"

"It wasn't covered in snow," John said, leading the way over the hill. "There was some kind of code you had to crack in order to take it off the pedestal."

"And you couldn't crack it."

"Neither could Zelenka."

"So you think I can."

John shrugged. "It couldn't hurt."

His curiosity was piqued and he forgot about the ice cold temperature around him. "What kind of code is it?"

"Hopefully one you can crack."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "That's so helpful, thanks."

"You're welcome."

He shook his head and focused on keeping himself up right. The snow swallowed his feet and came up to his knees. The cold seeped into his legs and traveled upward. He shivered and pulled his jacket tighter around him. The falling snow made it difficult to see anything in front of him.

The wind threw more snow in his face and he narrowed his eyes. He shouldn't have been so eager to go on this mission. If this was some sick joke, someone was about to get hurt.

"There," Sheppard said.

Rodney barely saw the dark shapes dotting the horizon. They rose up out of the ground to tower above them.

"Finally." He attempted to pick up his pace through the deep snow. He gritted his teeth in frustration and lifted his foot out of the snow then the other.

"You won't complain once we get there."

He snapped his eyes at John, but said nothing. He only hoped that whatever they wanted to show him was worth the agony he'd feel in the morning.

They reached the top of the hill and Rodney stared at the sight before him. It was the remains of a temple. In the center of the ruins stood a stone pedestal. On top of it rested the device they dragged him here to look at.

Slipping his backpack off, he hurried toward it. He placed the pack on the snow covered ground and ran his hand over the device. Instantly, a jolt of electricity shot through him. He cried out and backed away.

"What the hell?" He held his injured hand against his chest.

"We think that's how it defends itself against those that don't know the code," Teyla stated.

"You could have warned me," he snapped.

"You rushed to the pedestal before I could." John shrugged. "Thought you might as well learn the hard way."

Rodney sneered then turned back to the device. He studied it for a moment, letting his brain take over. Ancient writing surrounded the tablet sized device. He placed his hands on his hips to keep from touching the object that called to him. His gaze roamed over the writing, deciphering the words.

"It's a puzzle. I need to press the correct buttons in order to release the device."

"Do you know which ones to press?" John asked beside him.

He looked at the man askance. "Let me see."

His gaze moved to a row of writing above the device. The letters were scrambled, but he knew they spelled out the answer to the riddle around the tablet. He took a deep breath and pressed the button in the left hand corner. He closed his eyes, waiting for the jolt of electricity. When nothing happened he opened his eyes.

"Looks like I was correct." He sighed in relief.

"Keep going."

"No, I thought I'd stop there and go home."

"Someone skipped breakfast."

Rodney rolled his eyes and pressed the next buttons in sequence. Holding his breath, he touched the device. When he wasn't shocked, he lifted the tablet from the slot. He relaxed and closed his eyes.

"I don't believe it," John whispered.

Rodney cocked his head to the side. "Believe it, Sheppard. You're welcome."

Not waiting for a reply, he shoved the device into his backpack and tromped down the hill toward the gate. While he'd been working, he forgot about the cold creeping into his body. Now, the blowing wind blasted into him full force. He shivered, but kept going. The gate wasn't far and he'd be home where it was nice and warm.

Except it wasn't his home. Not really. It was an alternate reality where he'd been dead for three years. Ice filled his stomach and it wasn't from the temperature. If he wasn't careful, he'd forget the truth and end up staying.

He shook his head and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He wanted to get out of the freezing weather. He'd walk into a Wraith ship if it meant getting out of the cold.

"Hold up there, Speedy," Sheppard shouted at him. "Someone has to dial the gate."

Rodney stopped short and realized he'd almost walked right through the ring. Blinking in astonishment, he turned and walked back to the DHD. He cleared his throat and watched Sheppard dial the address.

The gate activated, its brightness blinding. Wanting to get started on testing the device, he rushed through the gate.

~*~

Jennifer watched Rodney grab a tray and head into the breakfast line. He'd been in Atlantis for two whole days and the only time she'd spent with him had been in the infirmary and lunch after he arrived.

She pushed her fork through her food and sighed. She didn't understand why she was drawn to him. She barely knew him.

"Stop it. He's probably not even interested in you."

"Who's not interested in you?"

Jennifer's gaze shot up to take in Rodney standing before her. Her mouth dropped and her face flamed. She cleared her throat and motioned for him to sit.

"No one." She smiled. "Just random thoughts."

He raised his eyebrows and she felt like an idiot. She sighed and slumped in her chair.

Wonderful. Way to make a great impression. He probably thinks you have a screw lose.

"I won't tell anyone you talk to yourself."

She snorted. "Thanks. Don't want them to think the local doctor is a crack pot."

He laughed and a rush of warmth spread through her. She looked down at her breakfast and her stomach flipped. She had no idea what to do or say. She'd heard he was an arrogant, prickly and hot-headed scientist. The person sitting before her wasn't any of those things. Not at the moment anyway.

"I hear you finally retrieved that device they've been trying to get."

He smirked. "It was a scrambled word puzzle. It was easy to figure out. I'm surprised it took them so long."

She smiled and lifted her water bottle to her lips. So that's what they meant by arrogant. Wonder when we'll get to temperamental?

"Do you know what it is?"

He bit into his toast and stared at her while he chewed. Heat built within her under his scrutiny. What was he thinking? Was he sizing her up? Did he think she was like the Dr. Keller of his reality?

"We're running tests on it now," he answered after swallowing. "Hopefully we'll get the results before I grow old and die."

She stopped herself before she bathed Rodney in a spray of water. She choked then took a deep breath to stop herself from gagging. She placed the back of her hand over her mouth. She laughed harder when she saw Rodney's raised eyebrow and his eyes roll.

"I'm so glad I could amuse you."

"Admit it, McKay, you enjoy it."

He leveled a glare at her, but it only caused heat to build within her. Not wanting him to see how he affected her, she cleared her throat and looked at her food.

The doors opened and Elizabeth walked into the mess hall. Rodney's heart skipped a beat and warmth flowed through him. She stepped into the line and placed food on her tray.

He remembered what he'd said to her yesterday and the expression on her face still appeared in his mind. He'd hurt her, dashed any hopes she had. He felt awful and wanted to make it up to her.

If she'll let you.

She'd taken to avoiding him. At the briefing yesterday, she'd barely looked at him when he told her about the device. It hurt, but he understood. She was hurting as well and probably didn't want to be reminded of what she lost.

"Rodney, you're food's getting cold."

Jennifer's voice brought him back to reality. He turned and dug into his eggs.

"Are you all right?"

He looked up. "What?"

"You were staring at her hard. Is something wrong?"

Rodney sighed and leaned back in his chair. He stared at his tray, trying to form his thoughts into words.

"I told her yesterday that I couldn't start a relationship with her."

"Oh, Rodney."

He closed his eyes, the pain rising within him. The agony in Elizabeth's green eyes flashed before him. He'd never seen so much pain in one person's eyes before. Not even his own.

"Maybe I should find a way back to my universe. It'd hurt a lot less."