Chapter 4
The day after the beach, Beastboy was in the common room, playing his daily dose of video games against Cyborg, when his communicator went off with a crackle.
"Beastboy, meet me in the gym," Robin's voice ordered from his belt. The green teen looked down, expecting more, but nothing came. His leader hadn't made it sound like Beastboy was in trouble, or like the Titans had a mission, but Robin wasn't in the habit of summoning just one team member. If it was important he would have used the Tower's PA system to summon all of them, and if it wasn't important he would normally have come to find whoever he wanted to see without using his communicator.
Cyborg had obviously heard the order too, and was looking at his friend to know whether they would continue the game or not.
Beastboy swallowed. "Guess I'd better go see what's up," he said, surprising Cyborg as normally BB would whine about his gaming being interrupted. Instead, he was suspiciously okay with it. Cyborg watched the green teen put down his controller and walk stiffly away.
"Star! You wanna play?" the oldest Titan called across the room as he now found himself without an opponent, and where was the fun in that?
Beastboy didn't rush, but his insides were in turmoil. Why had Robin summoned just him like that? And why to the gym? It made sense if that was where Robin was – the gym was where Robin always was – but if he wanted to see him, why not look for him?
I guess he wants to see me alone, Beastboy thought. He swallowed again and wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers.
The door to the gym slid open, and Robin was waiting for him standing on the mat in the middle of the room. The boy was barefoot and wearing a white karate uniform with a black belt knotted around his waist. The only other black on him was his mask.
Beastboy edged nervously into the room. That outfit clearly said he was going to get his butt kicked.
"You, er, you wanted to see me?" he asked.
"Come in."
Beastboy stepped far enough in for the automatic door to slide closed behind him, making him jump.
Robin laughed. "Don't look so scared. I just thought I'd give you a lesson in self defence. Here, put these on." He threw an extra set of whites to Beastboy, who caught them against his chest. They were clean, the green teen could smell the detergent and softener wafting off them, but he could also smell the unmistakable scent of Robin's skin, something his sensitive nose was always attuned to. Robin's scent was deep in the fabric, as if it had sunk into the very fibres of the uniform, while the soap was just a surface layer. It was going to be pretty awkward wearing it.
"Self-defence?" Beastboy wondered as he opened the bundle up in his arms. Robin watched as his scared expression never wavered.
"Yeah, you know. So stuff like what happened yesterday doesn't happen anymore."
Beastboy cringed at the embarrassing memory of having to be rescued from the angry mob at the beach.
"It's okay, it doesn't happen so much anymore, and they never really hurt me-"
"Beastboy, just get changed," Robin insisted, interrupting his teammate's attempt to get out of it.
Beastboy whined, but reluctantly lay the karate uniform on the floor to strip. As he tugged off his gloves, he continued to argue. "I can always get out of it if I have to, you know, fly away or something..." With his gloves off, he self-consciously turned his back to Robin to pull his shirt over his head.
Robin watched the bony green expanse of Beastboy's back appear, well aware that the younger boy was being modest and didn't want him to see his bare skin. He wondered what difference it made when they had seen each other in swimming shorts just the day before, and Robin had even had his hands on him...
"Still. It's something you should know. One day you might find yourself in a situation where you can't use your powers, and I want you to be safe even then," Robin said, making Beastboy blush. How could he argue anymore when Robin goes and says something like that?
Beastboy slipped into the baggy white jacket-thing that probably had a name that he didn't know, and the smell of Robin unfolded around him. The little hairs on his arms stood up, as if his leader was somehow touching him through the fabric, and he tried to suppress a little shiver. He then had to contemplate the problem of changing his trousers. The jacket hung lower than his butt at least, but only just. Robin obviously seemed to intend for him to change in the gym, and if the older boy wasn't embarrassed, why should he be? He unclipped his belt and tried to quickly but casually peel off his trousers and replace them with the loose white ones, but that is something it is almost impossible to do gracefully.
Still with his back to Robin, facing the wall and so functionally blind, all he had left was the black belt. He was just going to knot it around his waist to keep the folds of the jacket closed, but suddenly Robin spoke.
"I'll do that," he said, and when Beastboy turned, Robin had come closer and was holding out his hand for the belt. There was nothing in the older boy's face that suggested ulterior motives, so Beastboy had to allow it. There was probably some special karate knot or something. He stepped onto the mat and closed the distance between them, handing Robin the belt. The jacket hung open, showing off his skinny green chest, especially since he had to hold his arms up like he was expecting a hug so that Robin could pass the belt behind his back. That move him brought them rea~ally close together, and Beastboy tried to focus on a point over Robin's head, because he was sure that at that proximity, his leader would surely be able to feel his gaze if he looked at him.
Robin drew the jacket closed and deftly knotted the black strip over the join. "There." He thankfully moved away again, but Beastboy still wasn't quite at ease. Robin took up a position, legs apart and facing Beastboy sideways on. "Stand in front of me," he said.
Beastboy did as he was told, pulling awkwardly at the clothes. "Robin, are you sure about this? I mean, I'm not a fighter like you, this sort of thing, it doesn't really work for me the way it does for you, maybe we should just-"
"Beastboy, relax. What are you so afraid of? You don't think I'm actually going to hurt you, do you?" Robin asked, his enthusiasm a little dented by hurt feelings at the implication.
"No..." Beastboy thought about that. Yeah, Robin wouldn't hurt him, just show him a few moves, and all he would have to do would be copy them and Robin would let him go. This whole thing could be over in half an hour. After all, Robin was an expert at this stuff, he knew what he was doing.
But just because Robin wouldn't hurt him, didn't mean he wouldn't get hurt. He could still very easily fall on his face on his own.
He stood opposite Robin, and made a half-hearted attempt to copy the boy's stance.
"Okay, now try and hit me," his leader commanded, looking game. The older boy had a bounce in his feet and a look of eager concentration that baffled Beastboy, who would not be so excited at the prospect of being attacked.
"Hit you?" Beastboy squeaked.
"Yeah. Try and punch me."
"Punch you?"
"Just... aim for my face."
"Your face?"
"Beastboy, don't worry, I'll block it. I mean, no offence but... I've been doing this a long time," Robin told him with a small smile.
"Oh, yeah, right, okay then, umm..." Beastboy put his fists up weakly, and he imagined hitting Robin, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't look at the face of his leader and his friend, the person who had given him a home and a family and a purpose, and bring himself to attempt to cause it pain.
"Ehh..." Beastboy moved his fist slowly forward in the vague direction of Robin's face, while scrunching up his own and turning his head into his shoulder, as if he was the one about to be hit.
His fist bumped into Robin's open palm and the boy's fingers closed around it. Beastboy cracked open an eye and looked. Robin was standing up straight now, holding his fist, with a distinctly unimpressed look on his face.
"Beastboy... What was that?" he said.
"I'm sorry! I just can't hit you! I don't want to!" Beastboy wailed, taking his fist back.
"You wouldn't hurt me," Robin insisted.
"That's not the point. I just can't... think of you that way. I can't do it," Beastboy explained, looking at the floor and scuffing his toe against the mat.
Robin exhaled slowly through his nose. He couldn't really argue with that. It wasn't a problem he'd ever had, but he should have expected that his kind and trusting teammate wouldn't be able to summon the necessary fighting spirit when facing his friend. Robin was a martial artist – had been for a long time – but Beastboy was blessed with seeing everything in black and white. He fought his enemies and only his enemies. He wouldn't hit a friend anymore than he would make a deal with the bad guys; mistakes Robin had already made. In some ways, Robin realised, Beastboy was much stronger than him.
"Alright, Beastboy, let's try something else. What if I just show you how to defend yourself? I'll attack, and you block," Robin suggested.
Beastboy paled into a watered-down jade, and he shook his head as his eyes widened and his mouth turned down at the corners as if he felt sick. When he took a step back, Robin reached forward and caught his arms gently.
"I won't hurt you, I promise. I'll go slow..." he said, easing the green teen towards him so that his weight was where it should be for the exercise. Beastboy still looked terrified, and it kind of hurt Robin to think that his friend didn't trust him. "Just stand there, and throw your arm up like this, okay?" Robin instructed, demonstrating the move.
Beastboy nodded, but he wasn't looking any better. Robin took his stance again.
"Ready?" The masked teen threw his fist forward in the direction of Beastboy's cheek, a direct path to where his teammate's arm should be when it performed the block. Robin was moving at a speed that his fighter's brain told him was useless, the blow wouldn't hurt at all if it connected, but apparently that wasn't good enough for Beastboy. There was a squeak and a flinch, and the youngest Titan seemed to disappear.
Robin dropped his fist and looked at the ground. There was a tiny green dormouse huddled on the mat where Beastboy had been standing, an adorable ball of fluff that was visibly shaking in fear, with its little paws shielding its little face, its eyes screwed shut.
Robin sighed and squatted down. "Beastboy..."
The little mouse cracked one beady eye open and its right foreleg came up in the blocking motion Robin had shown him. It was almost painfully cute, but it wasn't what Robin was looking for.
"Beastboy," he repeated more firmly. The mouse expanded into his teammate who sat leaning away from him looking disappointed in himself.
"Sorry," he said.
"It's alright," Robin replied, standing up and pulling Beastboy after him. "Just try harder this time. You'll feel good once you get it."
Beastboy didn't look convinced, but he managed to stay in human form long enough to complete the move the next couple of goes, and Robin was right; the more times he got it right, the better he felt. Robin was holding back less and less, and Beastboy was still managing to block him.
Robin saw the growing confidence in Beastboy and decided he could handle something harder.
"How about I show you a judo throw next?" he suggested.
Beastboy wasn't sure. "A judo throw?"
"It's easy, come on, stand behind me," instructed his leader, so Beastboy stood gingerly behind him. He didn't like where this was going.
"Now, try and grab me," Robin ordered. Beastboy didn't really get it, but he did as he was told and wrapped both arms around the masked teen's waist. There was a pause.
"Er, around my neck..."
"Oh! Sorry!" Embarrassed, Beastboy moved his arm to Robin's neck as if he was strangling him, though it was a bit of a reach. Robin took a secure grip on his arm.
"Alright, one, two, three!"
Beastboy felt his feet leave the ground and panicked. Robin was concentrating too hard on controlling his throw so Beastboy would land safely to notice the change, but when his teammate didn't go tumbling when he should have, and in fact stayed lodged firmly onto his shoulders, he frowned and looked behind him into the face of a blinking green octopus. The leader then looked down his front at the other seven tentacles that had joined the one around his neck in clinging to him for dear life.
Trying not to be too grossed out at the warm, squidgy appendages wrapped around his chest, stomach, legs and arms, Robin said "Beastboy... Can you get off me?"
The tentacles were retracted and he heard Beastboy's nervous giggle. "Oh yeah... Sorry..."
Robin turned to face the green teen. "Maybe that was too much of a jump in one go."
"No, I should have been able to handle it, I'm just not used to this stuff..." Beastboy chastised himself, looking at the mat again.
"So, you want to try again?" Robin asked, stepping towards him.
Trepidation flickered across Beastboy's face. "Uhh..." He was clearly still concerned about hurting himself, which was a possibility with this move.
Robin compromised. "Why don't you try throwing me instead? You won't get hurt that way, and neither will I, I know how to land."
"Uhh..." Beastboy wasn't sure, but he didn't want to disappoint his leader, who was clearly enjoying training with him.
Robin ignored his teammate's hesitation and stood behind him, placing his forearm across the boy's throat. The grip wasn't painful or suffocating, but Beastboy could feel the strength in Robin's arm anyway. More than that though, he could also feel the heat of Robin's body all down his back as they stood pressed together, and it was making him heat up for different reasons.
"Put your hands on my arm and pull down, while twisting your body to throw me over your shoulder," Robin explained. The green teen moved his hands, but didn't do anything else.
Beastboy didn't think it was going to be as easy as his leader seemed to. Robin was bigger than him, and he just couldn't picture a scenario in which he could overpower the older boy with physical strength alone, not in his human form. His human form was weedy and unimpressive, Beastboy knew that. It couldn't do much out of the ordinary, and him throwing Robin would certainly count as extraordinary. Instead, what he thought was likely to happen was that he would try the move and nothing would happen, thereby revealing to his hero just how weak and pathetic he was. Beastboy didn't really want to do that. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, still pinned to Robin's chest, aware that if he put it off much longer, Robin would get suspicious. He turned his head, looking up at Robin's face over his shoulder which was alarmingly close. Beastboy pulled back a little at the awkward intimacy.
"Robin... I don't really think this is such a good idea..." he began.
"You're not going to hurt me-"
"I'm not going to be able to do it-"
"Just give it a try-"
Beastboy was kind of getting annoyed at not being listened to. If he said he couldn't do it, he couldn't do it! But it looked like Robin wouldn't accept how feeble he was until Beastboy proved it, so with an unhappy grimace, the youngest Titan faced forward, planted his feet, thought strong thoughts, and wrenched down on Robin's arm while throwing his shoulders forward.
Robin slammed down on the mat as if he'd been thrown by Superman, and immediately curled up as he tried to force the air back into his lungs. At the same time, Beastboy realised he was looking down on his leader from a vantage point different from where it should have been. His eyes going wide with horror he shifted back to human form and threw himself to his knees beside Robin, who had recovered enough to be lying on his side.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Robin, I didn't mean to do that, I swear!" His body had interpreted thinking "strong thoughts" as "silver-back gorilla", an animal six times as strong as an adult man. "Are you alright?" His hands hovered uncertainly over his leader, not quite trusting himself to touch him when he had been the one to hurt the dark-haired boy in the first place.
Robin looked up at Beastboy and tried to smile reassuringly, but Beastboy's worried expression didn't change, maybe because Robin was still gritting his teeth as he waited for the pain to recede from his spine. "It's alright," he said.
"No, it's not! I knew something like this would happen! I can't do anything right! You were just looking out for me and I hurt you!" Beastboy berated himself.
"Beastboy, I'm fine!" Robin insisted, trying to push himself up onto his arms and show his young teammate that he wasn't hurt, but the movement was slow and shaky because he was lying. He was lucky all of his bones were still intact.
The Titan leader froze when he noticed a couple of wet splotches on the red mat, and a second later he heard his teammate sniff. It looked like the green teen was taking this much harder than he was.
"Beastboy?" He tried to look at his friend's face but Beastboy kept turning away and avoided his leader's inspection. Finally, Robin just reached out and laid his hand on Beastboy's cheek, turning his face towards him. The boy's face was flushed dark green and his bottom lip was shaking as a new tear dampened Robin's hand. He'd never seen Beastboy cry before, and it kind of took his breath away, but it didn't make him as uncomfortable as he thought it would have. "You don't have to cry about it," he said softly, leaning towards Beastboy who still refused to look at him.
Beastboy sniffed again and wiped his cheeks with his hands. The feel of Robin's bare hand reminded him of the beach and made him very aware that he was being touched. "I'm not crying," he insisted, making Robin smile.
"I'm okay, see? I just lost my breath for a second. You didn't hurt me," Robin repeated his attempt to comfort his teammate.
"I screwed up though," Beastboy murmured, finally turning his green eyes to meet Robin's, making his leader think for a second that he'd never seen them so big and shiny. It must have been the tears. "I never should have even tried."
"It was my fault, I shouldn't have forced you into something you didn't want to do," Robin replied.
"You were just trying to help," Beastboy said, stubbornly clinging onto the blame.
"You have your own fighting style, I should have seen that. I should stop thinking I have the answers to everything."
Beastboy pulled his knees up in front of him and curled his arms around them, laying his chin down sulkily. "But you do," he pouted.
"No, I don't, but if you want to believe that, then you have to believe it's not your fault, right? Because I said so?" Robin said, once again ducking his head to try to catch Beastboy's eyes. By now the pain in his back was mostly gone, he was just a little stiff, and would probably feel fine by the evening. "Right?"
Beastboy nodded reluctantly.
"Right." Robin forced himself to his feet and held out a hand to Beastboy, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled up. "Come on, let's go get something to eat," he said, predicting that Beastboy would feel better after one of his tofu waffles with syrup.
OoO
Later that night, as Robin lay in bed, he smiled to himself at the memory of how quickly Beastboy had cheered up once he'd had some food in him. They'd spent the rest of the evening in front of the TV with the others as if nothing had happened. His smile faded though as the image of Beastboy's tear-filled eyes jumped unbidden into his thoughts. Robin frowned. His pushing had made his teammate feel like crap and reinforced all the negative ideas he had about himself. Robin would have to be careful not to do that again.
As that thought passed through his head, he felt something tickle his leg under the covers. Startled, and ever ready to be attacked, Robin leapt out of the bed, his fists up. He scanned the room but didn't see anything. But he knew he had felt something. He quickly ripped the duvet off his bed but it was empty. He shook it out and looked all over the duvet, but again, nothing.
Confused, he looked over at his door. He hadn't heard it open but... Then he saw something he never thought he'd see. A strand of spaghetti was banging its head against his door as if trying to get it to open. He took several steps towards it, and it turned to look at him, then dove under the door.
Robin lunged and managed to pinch the end of the skinny green snake between his fingers before it could escape, and pulled it back from under the door. It twirled slowly as he dangled it in front of his face, and if a snake could look guilty, this one did.
Robin sighed and pooled the snake in his palm, then walked over and let it slither onto his stripped bed.
"Beastboy, what are you doing? You scared me," he chastised gently.
The snake exploded into its much larger human form, and Beastboy squirmed uncomfortably. "I was just checking..." he said.
"Checking what?" Robin asked, unable to think of anything Beastboy would need to check in his room. He knew he had allowed BB the German shepherd to sleep with him that one time, but that was weeks ago and Beastboy's dog persona hadn't made an appearance since.
"I couldn't sleep, so I just thought I'd check... on you, see if maybe you couldn't sleep either. Make sure you weren't working or something. I know that sometimes you do that - not sleep I mean... But I can see you're fine so I'm gonna stop embarrassing myself now and just go," Beastboy said, scooting off the bed and attempting a hasty exit.
"You can stay," Robin cried to his back, stopping him. "...We can hang out, if you want."
Beastboy turned, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment and he laughed awkwardly. "It's okay, I'll let you get back to sleep. Thanks for offering though," he said, and he disappeared out the door.
Feeling confused, though he didn't know about what exactly, Robin picked up his duvet and heaved it back onto the bed. Maybe it was just the adrenaline caused by finding a snake in his bed, but his nerves felt all jangly, and as he lay back down and stared at the ceiling, he felt like Beastboy's sleeplessness was going to prove to be contagious.
Author's note: Hey guys, I know you've been waiting a long time for this, thanks for letting me know that in your reviews! They made me give this fic more importance than it otherwise would have gotten. And I've got ideas for two or three more chapters so don't worry, this isn't the end yet
