Disclaimer: I don't own SoN or it's characters, nor am I making any money off of this...I read a book called Montana's lost love, and I changed it around to suite my needs, and came out with this. Hopefully you'll enjoy it and continue to read...

Disclaimer 2: Thank you for all the reviews and interest in this story...

I Won't Give Up ch. 4

Ashley bit her tongue as her special name for Spencer nearly spilled fourth from her lips.

'Kalila'

She remained quiet and as she did the joy lighting Spencer's face drained to be replaced by disappointment. Relief flooded her, yet still left an ache in her chest, Spencer didn't recognize her. As she saw it, she had no choice. She didn't want any harm to come to Spencer.

Struggling to hide her emotions, she couldn't react, couldn't show how happy she was to see her again, couldn't rush forward into the room and sweep Spencer off her feet and tell her how much she loved her. Tell her how sorry she was for Glen's death, or how concerned she was for her safety.

No, she had to be Sansa Aliwahli, or she would give everything away. One slip on her part could be fatal not only to herself but to Spencer as well, and she would never place Spencer's life in danger.

Drawing on all her military training, she straightened up and tamped down her emotions, struggling to get out, and stepped into the class room.

Confusion replaced disappointment on Spencer's face. Ashley looked at her closely if it was possible Spencer had become more beautiful. Damn it, she should have been her wife. She assumed a detachment she didn't feel and said.

"Miss Carlin?"

Spencer sank into her chair and clasped trembling hands in her lap. "I'm Spencer Carlin." She said shakily. "Forgive me if I'm a bit shaken, I mistook you for someone else." She let out a nervous laugh. "A trick of the light, I guess."

Ashley shoved her hands into her slack pockets to keep from reaching out towards Spencer to comfort her.

"Sorry, I startled you." she said. "I passed the school principal in the hallway, and she told me which room was yours."

Spencer took a deep breath to try and control her emotions, she peered up at the stranger in front of her, and a bloom of pink slowly returned to her face. Curiosity sparked in her eyes.

"Who are you, and why are you looking for me?" she asked

Ashley suppressed a smile. Spencer was so like she remembered, always straight to the point. She never played coy games like some women, and she always cut to the chase and asked straight forward questions.

"I'm Sansa Aliwahli, I just came to the states a few weeks ago from an extended stay in Salalah."

Spencer's face paled again.

"I was good friends with Lt. Cmd. Davies," she rushed to finish, "and Glen."

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "I don't recall either mentioning you."

"They wouldn't of. I was on assignment for the military, working as a bodyguard tot he Prince of Salalah. Since Glen and Ashley were undercover as well..."

"No one was suppose to know that." Spencer's eyes got round with alarm.

"As a member of the intelligence team, we shared information with one another. They kept me in the loop of all the happenings going on at the embassy." \

Spencer's face showed her scepticism.

"I don't expect you to take my word for it." Ashley hurried as she reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out a letter. "Here's a letter from General Parker."

"General?" Spencer took the envelope, "So he was promoted." She stated as she took the letter Ashley offered her. She read the letter then looked back at Ashley. "Looks like you are who you say you are, Ms. Aliwahli."

Ashley flinched at Spencer calling her that, but covered it as she said, "Call me Sansa, please."

At that instant Spencer gazed past her to the doorway, there stood the petite principle, Kyla.

"Everything okay, Spencer?" Kayla asked as she looked from Spencer to Ashley worriedly.

"I'm fine." Spencer said.

"Are you sure?" Kayla asked as she looked at Ashley with distrust.

"Sansa is an old friend of Ashley's." Spencer explained. "She stopped for a visit. It appears Ashley and Glen couldn't stop talking about our small town."

Kayla looked warily at Ashley. "I'll be around if you need me." she said.

Spencer smiled warmily at Kayla, "Thanks for looking out for me, Kayla. I'll talk to you later."

Ashley fought back a pang of jealously, "Good friend?" she asked as Kayla left the room. She tried to stop her anger against a woman she didn't even know, but it was a loosing battle.

Spencer's expression sombered, "The best, I don't know what I would have done without her," here she paused and took a slightly ragged breath. "the last few years..." Spencer straightened up and changed tactics. "You haven't told me why you are here?"

"My handlers decided I needed a little Rand R, and you hit the nail on the head when you said Ashley and Glen spoke of their home as if it was a little slice of heaven, I decided if I had the chance, I would see it for myself."

"So, you're on vacation?"

"A much needed holiday." Ashley said with feeling.

Her trip here was dubbed a vacation, even though she was still on assignment. When she landed on U.S. Soil she was closeted into a room of high ranking military officials poked, prodded, and asked questions over and over, until she snapped, and told them that they couldn't keep her there against her will.

"My enlistments up, and I want to go home to my fiancee'." She demanded.

The man in charge steepled his fingers and leaned back into his chair. "Of the hundred or so people killed in the bombing, a third of them were military, and another third of them were U.S. Citizens."

"I'm aware of that, sir."

"Are you also aware that this same group of terrorists is still active?" He asked as he looked Ashley in the eyes. "Or that they made threats here on U.S. Soil?" he continued.

Ashley shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "No, sir."

"Heavens hand."

"Sir?"

"That's what they call themselves, they are the group that took credit for the bombing." Here he leaned forward and pinned Ashley with his steely eyes. "We need you to remember Lt. Cmd., you are our best hope to take these terrorists down. Since the bombing all of our leads have gone nowhere. We can't seem to get a solid lead on this group no matter what we do, and right now we are no closer to getting them now then we were then. But if you could give us the name of the traitor..." he trailed off as he waited for Ashley.

"I want to remember, I really do." Ashley said.

"I know." said the man.

"Your psychiatric evaluations indicates as much. Your minds not ready to relive the horror of that day, or at east that's what the specialists say."

"They tried hypnosis, it didn't work." she said

"I know," said the man. "Didn't help, it's all in the file." he said this as he patted the file in front of him. "They believe there may be a possible cure."

"Surgery?"Ashley had her fill of hospitals, and didn't like the idea of more surgeries, but if it could get her home to Spencer faster she would jump at the chance.

The man smiled. "The cure that they suggested might not be all that bad, it even might be enjoyable." he said with a smile

Ashley looked at him like he had lost his mind, surgery enjoyable...she crinkled her brow as she looked at him as if asking what in the world are you thinking.

He continued to stare at Ashley a tick before continuing. "They suggest you go home."

Ashley shook her head, surly she didn't hear him right. "Home?" she asked

"Yes home." He smiled at her before continuing, "They feel if you spend a couple of weeks in a familiar and comfortable environment, that it will help unlock your repressed memories..."

Ashley hung her head in defeat, "I have no home to go to, the Corps have been my family since I joined and the Carlin's all believe that I am dead."

The commander shook his head. "We want you to visit the Carlin's. The doctors think visiting your fiancee' and her family ranch is just what you need to jog those memories lose."

Ashley smiled the first true smile she had in a long while. "I wouldn't object to doing that." she said.

"There are conditions." said the commander with a scowl. "You cannot tell anyone that you are Ashley Davies. If anyone asks you are Sansa Aliwahli."

"I can't tell my fiancee' who I am?" Ashley asked as the smile fell from her face.

"Think, damn it, you are an intelligence officer. Use that brain that I know you've got. Those terrorists are fantics, killers willing to kill to keep their secrets. If they even get a hint that Ashley Davies is alive and well," here he paused, and then continued. "...well let's just say they wouldn't even give a second thought, they would track you down and kill you as well as kill the Carlin's."

"Then I shouldn't go there. I don't want to endanger Spencer, or her family." Ashley said.

"We need you there." he said.

"Why?" Ashley asked as her blood ran cold. "You think the terrorists are after the Carlin's?"

The commander shook his head, "No, but we do believe they have information that could help our investigation."

The implication running around in Ashley's head popped out of her mouth before she could sensor it. "Glen would never have broken protocol. He would never have told anyone, including his family

anything that was a military secret."

"Not the Glen you knew," the commander said without malice. "But he did write home and awful lot, maybe just maybe he inadvertently mentioned something in one of his letters, no matter how small."

"Something that wouldn't mean anything to them, but I would understand." Ashley shook her head. "That seems highly unlikely, sir. If he wanted me to know something he would have just told me." Ashley said as she shook her head.

"I know, it's straws, but at the moment it's all we have. We can't let these terrorists succeed yet again."

Reluctantly Ashley agreed with the plan. No matter where her thoughts went they always came back to where her duty lay, bringing the traitor and his terrorists cell to justice, it had now become an obsession with her. She wasn't free to be with Spencer yet. When this was all said and done and she was free to do as she pleased, she would return to Spencer as the Ashley she remembered.

The commander had made a background cover for Sansa Aliwahli, and within a few days she was on another transport on her way home. As soon as she made it home she went looking for Spencer and now here she was. Even now she found it hard to believe that Spencer was standing in front of her, within arms reach, all she would have to do is reach out and hug her, but she couldn't, not just yet.

"Where are you staying?" Spencer asked

Ashley shrugged. "Don't know yet."

"There's a motel up on the highway, but other then that you'd have to go to the next town."

Ashley nodded her head. "Do you know where I could rent a car?" Unless the place had changed a lot since she had been gone she knew there wasn't a place anywhere close.

"Not here," Spencer said. "Look, I know my parents would love to talk to you. Why don't you come home with me, have dinner with us and spend the night? We can get you settled tomorrow as well as a vehicle."

"I don't want to impose." Ashley said.

"You won't be imposing. My parents would love to hear stories about Glen and Ashley." Spencer said as she reached forward and patted Ashley's hand as she smiled at her.

Ashley smiled back and shook her head yes and then turned and followed her out of the class room. She didn't realize getting an invitation to the Carlin family ranch was going to be so easy, yet also one of the hardest things she ever done in her whole life all rolled into one...

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There you go the next part, hope it was worth the wait. Let me know how you like it...I've got the next part written just have to type it onto the computer...