After a countless amount of days without any cases, the bell attached to the door rang. Dudley had been charged with the task of minding the front desk that morning, which given the amount of business they were handling meant surfing the web mindlessly. Not taking the trouble to look in the doorway he waved in the direction of the sound.
"Neville why ain't you using the service route round back? We get any post?"
"No post on Sundays!" the young woman admitted.
The sound of her struck Dudley like a bag of elephants. He spun around to face the voice at light speed.
She was a vision. Not even the most articulate cartoon wolf could convey the effect that this beauty had on the opposite sex. Whether it was the perfume she wore or the ribbons in her hair Dudley could not tell. Something about her was so absolutely astonishing that he was willing to bet his life that there was an entire section of iTunes dedicated to songs that were inspired by her.
"Um, uh… can I help you……miss?" Dudley fumbled. Every second he anticipated her response filled up a parallel infinities that revolved at an unfathomable speed in each and every atom adjacent to Luna's puckered lips.
"Is Neville in?" she asked politely. He just continued to stare. "Neville Longbottom." She confirmed.
"Yeah, err he's somewhere in the back. I'll fetch him." The muggle hurried into Neville's makeshift office. He found the wizard removing staples from piles of paper. (Magically) "Oy Nev, there's a girl out front to see you." Dudley puffed.
"Is she with the electric company? I don't know why you insist on putting my name on your muggle bills…" Dudley yanked Neville out of his chair, something like a hundred levitating recently removed staples simultaneously ceased to levitate. The sight of this, (and just imagine the sounds) held Neville's attention much better than his partners promises of inquiring damsels.
"Hullo?" Neville called as he made his way to the front desk. His face lit up as the form of Luna Lovegood appeared before him. "Luna! It's been ages!' He hugged her.
"It has, time flys, as they say." She noted. Dudley appeared behind Neville.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" he muttered, jabbing an elbow into his wizard friend.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Neville choked. "This is Luna Lovegood, an old friend from school. Luna this is Dudley Dursley, He's Harry's cousin." Luna smiled at Dudley, who was at a loss for words. Dudley found it hard to think of her as a witch, as enchanting as she seemed. She just didn't fit the profile to his muggle mind. Was this beauty capable of boiling slugs in cauldrons and chanting to the full moon? If you knew Luna the answer to both questions was a definitive 'yes'.
"What brings you here?" Dudley cracked his knuckles.
"Well I heard that you were in this business now and I just so happen to have a case for you." She told Neville. Dudley was apparently wearing a social invisibility cloak. "You've heard about the recent string of magic muggle murders I'm sure."
"Magic muggle murders…" Dudley muttered to himself.
"Of course, the ministry has been stumped on those lately. I've even heard that they've yet to pin down a motive." Neville explained.
"Magic muggle murders" he repeated.
"But where do you fit into all of that Luna?" Neville asked.
"Magic murders muggles" Dudley thought aloud.
"Well, since school I've taken editorial control of the quibbler but ever since last month though, whenever we print an article about the Triple M's they turn out all…funny."
"Funny how?" Dudley broke his line of thought.
"Well the ink's enchanted somehow. It changes the article to be something it's not. For some readers its' a puff piece about House Elf's, for others it's a gossip article all in French. None of my readers ever actually get to see the real articles about the murders."
"Magic muggle murders"
"Strange." Concluded Neville.
"Strange indeed." Dudley agreed. "Luna I promise we'll get to the bottom of this, I swear it!" he pounded his chest. If she noticed his devotion she made no indication. Neville summoned a scroll with his wand and it hovered above the front desk ready to record his notes.
"Ok, first off, do you have any possible leads?" He asked.
"I suspect Nargles." She mentioned casually.
Ginny rolled around the couch for the millionth time. Spending each long day watching an endless stream of paid programming on a dirty old set Harry had picked up second hand. Practically everything in their cramped flat was second hand. With the exception of her knickers but as time passed she became suspicious of even those. Flicking through the channels with her wand and bobbing her slipper on the edge of her foot she was assured once again that there was nothing on. How long had she existed like this? How many days had gone by since her fiancées last visit? His mail was stacking up again. She only noticed after tripping over it the previous morning, in an attempt to make toast the muggle way. Without warning the front door lurched open and the sound of Harry Potter's laughter filled the apartment. Ginny burst from the couch and raced to the door.
"Harry!" She shouted. As the sound left her throat she realized that his laughter had froze. Hermione stood behind him without a word. They all stood there petrified as if a basilisk had slithered onto the tele, wrapping itself around Billy Mays as he guaranteed his latest magical artifact to the muggle audience. After forever she simply said, "Hermione, you haven't written."
"Sorry." She half heartily admitted.
"Say Ginny." Harry pecked her on the cheek. "I thought you'd be at your mums… you know at the burrow?" he traded glances with his fiancée and his guest.
"The burrow? Harry don't you remember, LeStrange and Greyback set it on fire years ago…" she reminded him.
"What? I don't remember that happening…" he scratched at his lightning scar.
"How could you forget? It was horrifying how they chased us through the swamp."
"Yeah, no. That totally didn't happen. We had your brother's wedding at the burrow."
"Oh yeah…" she recalled. Sorry I must have been confused. He patted her on her orange little head and smiled.
"It's all right. Well, Hermione has some hard core research to do so lets clear her a way to the study." Harry said, producing his wand from his robes. The tip of it glistened and smelt rather odd to Ginny. Harry magically moved several towers of mail away from the double doors of the study and cupping Hermione's crooked behind, pushed her in.
After an hour or two of small talk and tea, Harry leaned in and kissed Ginny.
"I've kept my shoes untied all day…" he whispered.
"Oh you" she grinned, tossing off her top.
Hermione tossed aside another useless book. Perhaps Harry was going about it the wrong way. Someone out to expose magic to muggles might have a stronger connection to the muggle world rather than the wizarding one. Harry wouldn't listen to her though, she knew that well enough. It always had to be his theory that proved true, no matter how obscure. Since she met the boy that lived her job was to make those theories plausible. She had been up for days researching his dead ends, and it was starting to pick at her. The worst was Ginny. The poor girl had no idea that her dear fiancée planned on sharing the flat with Hermione tonight. No clue that it was all he talked about on the way over, how he couldn't contain himself and resorted to violating her with 'the wand that defeated the dark lord' as they carefully hid in the back of the knight bus. If Hermione had anything on Ginny it was the truth. Harry probably didn't really love her; he definitely didn't love Hermione, or any one for that matter. That's why she felt a different kind of pain when she overheard them. At least when he was with Ginny, he pretended to care. For years she had been telling herself that Harry trusted her enough that he didn't need to fake it, but perhaps they had something more. Tears dripped onto the parchment as Ginny's whimpers of joy filled the room.
"She sounds just like a puppy when she comes, its fucking adorable." He once told Neville all those years ago. Back when they were just Dumbledore's Army. Back when Harry was still Harry, and Ron was there.
Ron, was in Azkaban. Whatever he was in for, it was widely known that he was not guilty. Harry had seen too it that anyone in the ministry with half a mind to question 'The Great HP' was chucked into the clink.
"Oh Ron…" Hermione sighed.
"Shazam!" Harry Potter gasped, passing out on top of Ginny's bare buttocks. She took his glasses off and they fell asleep on the sofa still connected.
