Chapter 4

Sami looked around the hotel room remembering what it was like to share the evening with Brandon and suddenly she found herself not wanting it to end. Taking in a breath she walked over to the bed and sank down upon it remembering only too well how good it felt to have him beside her. She could still remember the way his breath skimmed over her cheek, the warmth of him that carried over her when she was seated beside him in the cab. They'd had such a fun time with one another that she hadn't wanted it to end. Even now after he'd walked away from her going to his room, she couldn't help but wish he'd return to her again. It was crazy, yet she couldn't help but long for it.

What is happening to me? she groaned inwardly sinking further onto the bed and dropping down completely. She closed her eyes for a moment before letting out a long sigh. She stretched out bringing her arms up over her head as she tried to dismiss her wayward thoughts of Brandon, but instead of making the situation easier all she could think about was his mouth, the way it once felt to kiss him like she would never stop. It put her on edge as she shifted on the comforter.

That's it, Sami decided sitting up once again, You're not going to dwell on Brandon any longer. You're going to take a shower and then go to bed.

Silently cursing herself under her breath, she took a long, hard look at the dress that she was wearing. It was a nice gesture on Brandon's part, but her fight with the bowling alley bully made for certain that she wouldn't be able to wear again to the following night's festivities. Shaking her head she reached out to the zipper preparing to put the night behind her when she heard a knock at her hotel room door. Turning towards the sound she stood frozen realizing that no one knew she was here. Well, no one other than Brandon that was.

He wouldn't be back again, she mouthed to herself even though she was hoping that logic was wrong in this particular case. Still as the tapping continued she found the strength to move forward. Reaching for the door she opened it up without hesitation and found Brandon standing in front of her much to her surprise.

he spoke her name in a faint whisper, yet the response she was feeling to the sound of his voice alone was anything but small. She saw something behind his dark eyes and found herself fighting to keep her thoughts from getting the best of her.

she questioned in a casual tone seeing the way his eyes swept over her, caressing every inch of her with that one movement.

I forgot something before, Brandon blurted out a newfound determination in his tone as he stood up taller.

Oh really? What was that? she couldn't help but ask clearing her throat as she watched him lean in closer to her.

he replied stepping forward in one, bold sweep and reaching out to her.

Without hesitation, he pulled her into his arms lifting her up off of the floor and into his chest. His lips came crashing down over hers causing every semblance of control she'd had inside of her to fade away. Instinctively she coiled her arms around his shoulders, feeling the strength of his muscled contours beneath her touch. She felt him step forward guiding them over towards her bed and somehow in the process she felt him catching the material of the dress between his fingers.

she gasped his name feeling her body respond to his every caress as he lowered her onto the bed. He bent down over her moving in to kiss her while recklessly fumbling with the dress. He managed to get it down just above her hips when she reached out to fan her fingers over his chest loving the way he felt over her. She smiled up at him before urging him onto his back, Allow me. he began again his lustful brown eyes focused on her now that she'd felt a surge of power carry over her. She stepped off of the bed turning to face him again before smiling. She watched him settle in on the mattress before she curled her fingers in underneath her dress not knowing where this newfound boldness was coming from, yet as Brandon's eyes were upon her, she couldn't help but feel empowered by the way he was watching her. She spun around circling away from him while sashaying out of her dress. Once it pooled to the floor around her feet, she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder before winking at him.

You're going to wish you never left before, she slurred in a sultry whisper climbing in over the bed to settle in over his lap. Her fingers played over the buttons on his shirt, recklessly puling them apart in an attempt to get a feel of the lines of his perfect body. It had been too long for them for her not to be impatient, yet as he sat up reaching out to curl his fingers behind her neck to draw her in for a kiss, she knew that she didn't want the night to end.

Oh Brandon, she mouthed dragging her nails lightly over his back while their mouths meshed in a heated union. She felt him press her back onto the bed, carefully shifting his weight over her as they prepared to make love to one another. Her heart was racing, pulse pounding and as she felt the door to their past with one another opening once again, she couldn't help but search his eyes wanting to remember all that they'd shared with one another.

I never stopped loving you Samantha, he mouthed dipping down for another savory kiss before his palm curved around her waist, arching her up towards him again.

I never stopped loving you either Brandon, she confessed in a soft, shallow pant wanting to relive every single second of the passion they'd shared with one another. It was so long since she'd felt wild and free and reckless, but with Brandon he made it so simple for her. He gave her the opportunity to just be herself and now as they were about to make love to one another, she closed her eyes and realized that things hadn't changed between them.

I'll always love you Samantha, Brandon's voice whispered over her skin causing her to curl her arms around him only to feel nothing but air over her.

she spoke his name, her eyes snapping open as she sat up only to discover the sound of her alarm clock going off. Frowning she turned to see that it wasn't nighttime anymore and she was no longer with Brandon. The sad reality was he'd never returned to her room, never decided to make love to her and all that she was surrounded with was a dream that hit too close to home for her.

What were you thinking? she questioned sliding her legs over the side of the bed and groaning, You can't be thinking about Brandon like this especially now.But why not? she heard a voice in the back of her head question. It's not like you two don't care about one another.I can't do it, she blurted out feeling a moment of guilt carry over her for even thinking about Brandon in such a way. For almost two years her dreams had been consumed by Lucas--by that time when she'd lost him and wasn't able to save him. It had haunted her time and time again, yet here she was dreaming about Brandon when her heart would always be with Lucas.

You have to stop, she instructed reaching for the phone and dialing back to Salem. After a few seconds she heard John's voice on the other end of the line, Hey John. John replied in his usual warm tone and she could swear she could hear the smile in hi voice, How's Chicago treating you?It's full of surprises, Sami admitted with a slight hesitation, Is mom around?She's actually out with Belle at the moment, but you know if you need to talk, I'm always here, John prompted further and she couldn't help but feel the need to speak with someone--to say something about the conflicting emotions inside of her. That is if you want to.I was just, she paused not really sure what to say, I wanted to check in on Will and see if she'd seen him. I hate not being there considering that EJ is still out there.EJ won't get near him, John promised her with a strong reassuring tone, Bo and I have been keeping close tabs on Will and even though I'm sure he'd hate it, we have a man watching him and tailing him as well as we speak.He would hate it if he knew someone was watching him, Sami paused thinking about her son for a long moment, and knowing Will he's going to figure it out soon. He will realize that someone is following him around.Rest assured we've got it covered, John couldn't help but laugh lightly, And while I will admit he's one of the smartest young men I know lately he's been busy with his friend from what I've heard.Friend? What friend? she couldn't help but ask him.

A female friend and a very pretty one at that, John revealed thinking about what he'd learned about Will.

Is she his girlfriend? she couldn't help but question wondering if her son had found someone he'd started dating.

I haven't seen any kind of confirmation on it, but he seems to spend a lot of time with her, John replied with another small laugh, I think it's safe to say he likes her.My son has a girlfriend and I'm the last one to know about it, Sami sighed heavily thinking about the distance between her and Will over the last couple of years. I just feel like I'm so out of touch with him John.I know, but we're working on changing that. Your mother and I spoke with him the other day and we were hoping that maybe we could have him over for dinner to talk to him--really talk with him and tell him the truth about things, John explained further sensing her upset on the other end of the line, Honey he's not going to stay away from you forever. I know he's very stubborn, butJohn think about what I was like when I was a teenager. After I saw you and mom together, I did some really horrible, rotten things to the both of you because I'd felt you betrayed my father. I hated to see my father hurting and because of it I harbored a lot of rage, she continued to remind him thinking about her own troubled youth, Even then I felt like it was the end of the world and my father was still alive. Lucas is dead and with the lies that Kate and EJ spread aroundThat's all they were. They were lies and we know that, John continued to remind her.

Will doesn't though. He doesn't know that at all and after all those times that Kate worked to discredit me in the past, she felt tears threatening, John I know I've lost him. He won't return my calls, won't say anything to me and I hate this. I hate that I can't reach out to my son and be there for him when I know he needs me the most.You have to trust that he'll come around. He's a smart boy and when he sees the truth in front of him, you can rest assured that he will reach out to you, John attempted to comfort her, You have to believe in that.I don't know what I believe in anymore, she sighed dropping back down onto the bed and closing her eyes.

Now that's not the girl I raised talking. You have far more spirit than that, John tried to coax her out of the sadness she'd fallen into. You and I both know that Lucas wouldn't want you to stop living and finding happiness in your life. He would want only the best for you and Will.He was what was best for us John, Sami felt tears threatening. She wiped at her eyes before taking in a small breath, He was our world and without him nothing is right anymore.I understand that honey better than anyone, he replied after a long pause, When Izzy-B died it was nearly the end for me. I didn't believe that I could keep holding on. Even with Brady I felt like there was so much that had been ripped from my soul. It was as if a giant part of my heart was taken from me when I lost her, but I had to keep pushing on. I had to honor her memory and try to find a way to stay afloat for her and for Brady. I needed that for them.And you found happiness with mom, Sami noted remembering everything that happened, Of course I didn't help at all in making that easy for you.Everything that happened with us Samantha had to run it's course before we could be where we are today, John replied with a thoughtfulness in his tone. The past is the past and it doesn't define who we are. You've always been like a daughter to me and you still are.Thanks John. You have no idea how much that means to me, she added after a moment of contemplation. I'm really glad we didn't lose you because you have no idea how special you are to me.Probably as special as you are to me, he answered honestly, We miss you in Salem.I'll be back in a few days, she promised thinking about the reason for the trip. I just have this thing to go to andHave you run into Brandon yet? John couldn't help but ask surprising her with the question.

Brandon? John, how did you know that Sami couldn't help question unable to mask her surprise.

Abraham told me that he'd be there this weekend as well, John replied with a cryptic tone. I knew Brandon had been asking about you the last few times I'd seen him so I thought maybe you two might touch base with one another while you were there.Wait, you've been talking to Brandon, Sami's jaw practically dropped at his words.

I've seen him quite a few times over the last couple of years, John admitted honestly, He's been worried about you and wanted to check in and make sure that you were alright especially after everything that happened with EJ.You mean he's been there in Salem and no one even bothered to tell me? she frowned realizing that perhaps there was more to the weekend than she'd anticipated.

He figured it would be easier if you didn't think that we were all keeping tabs on you, John admitted freely before contemplating his next words, So did I because I didn't think you were ready for this yet.Ready for what? she couldn't help but ask an uneasiness in her tone.

Finally being able to be around someone who loves you like Brandon does. I know how he stepped aside so that you and Lucas could be together, but after Lucas died, he came to your mother and I and offered to help you. When you had the miscarriage at the hospital he was there with you. He was at your side when you were in critical condition andAnd no one told me? she blurted out in astonishment, No one thought that I might want to know.He didn't want to add to the situation when your heart was breaking. He wanted you to be happy with Lucas and John stopped himself before shifting the direction of the conversation, You've seen him again haven't you?Now that I know he's stalking me, how could I not? she huffed feeling her agitation level rising with each passing second. John, why didn't you tell me about this before?Because I didn't think it was a good idea to get you worked up. Your mother and I agreed that the wounds were too fresh for you to start thinking about Brandon again, John pointed out hearing her irritation on the other end of the phone, We weren't trying to hide it from you, butBut you both thought I wasn't adult enough to deal with my own issues with my ex-husband in town. Is that it? she snapped at him once again. You didn't think I could deal with my grief and Brandon at the same time?No, it wasn't that. It was just, he paused for a moment, He's never stopped loving you and he didn't want his feelings to cloud what it is you really needed in your life.What I need is for everyone to stop treating me like I'm going to fall to pieces all the time. Yes, it kills me that Lucas is dead and that EJ got away with hurting me, but dn it I'm not some fragile flower. I can hold my own in the world John. I should've known Brandon was around. I should've been told he was in Salem.I know honey, but John found himself cut off by her words.

But once again everyone else knows what's going on instead of me. Tell me did you all plan this trip for me to reconnect with Brandon and fall in love with him again so that you didn't have to keep listening to me mourning Lucas?Wait, what? John blinked back at the comment, Now you know that isn't at all what's happening. Brandon was just there becauseI know why he's here, but it's not going to work. I'm not going to distract myself by falling for Brandon when Lucas will always be in my heart. I'm not going to just move on when it's obvious that I can never be with the man I love. I'm not going to do it John even if you and Brandon cooked up this impossibly romantic scenario. she snapped stubbornly in an attempt to ignore her own lingering thoughts about Brandon and what it would be like to fall for him again. Tell me was bowling your idea or his last night? he repeated with a strange sounding tone. I don't even know what you're talking about.Right, sure you don't, she huffed before noting the time, Look I can't do this now. I have a party to get ready for. I need to buy a new dress and hope that they have something suitable for tonight. Just tell mom I called her and that I love her.I will and Sami, he attempted to appeal to her once again, whatever you think is happening this weekend isn't because it was something was planned. We were just worried about EJ trying to follow you andAnd if EJ runs into me, it'll be the biggest mistake of his life John. I'm not going to let him hurt me again, Sami vowed with a newfound determination before stopping herself, and listen I'm sorry I blew up at you, butIt's okay. I understand and Sami, before you blow up on Brandon as well, just think about it first. He really does care about you, John added.

I know, she admitted thinking about her dreams of Brandon before sitting up again, and just so you know I can take care of myself John.I realize that, but it doesn't hurt to have someone there at your side helping you, he explained leaving her with food for thought as they said their goodbyes and hung up.

I can hold my own, she thought aloud realizing that while she'd been upset about the thought of someone keeping an eye on her, it wasn't so much that thought alone that had upset her. It was knowing that Brandon was there, yet he hadn't made a move towards reaching out to her. After everything they had gone through, she would have thought that he would've found his way to be there for her--to step up and let her see that he was there all along.

But after what Kate did to you both you made it clear that you didn't want him around, she reminded herself knowing full well how hard Kate worked to destroy her when she'd drugged the both of them right before Sami's wedding to Lucas. Still it was no excuse for Brandon not to be more open about wanting to be close to her. She could've used his shoulder and even if she didn't want to admit it, the fact to the matter was that she had wanted him around more than she'd realized until now.

Thinking about all the times when she'd reflected on her failures she knew now that she could've had that friend in him that had been present when she was fighting for Will in the past. She could've had that listener who had talked her through a great many mistakes in the past, yet Kate had found a way to make them both feel like that was impossible. Top that off with the way EJ had isolated her and Sami realized that he'd already stolen too much of her life already.

You won't be a victim again, she mouthed stepping up to the mirror and taking a long look at herself. While Kate had attempted to kick Sami down in more ways than she'd ever imagined possible, Sami knew full well she couldn't let that hold her back. Whether or not Brandon was there to protect her as a friend or as someone who loved her, Sami had to show the world that she was still a fighter. Starting with this party tonight, she vowed to find a way to prove to everyone that she was a force to be reckoned with. This time nothing was going to hold her back. She owed it to herself, to Will and to Lucas to prove that she was stronger than ever.