Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: Yes, I know. I suck for taking so long with this chapter. I'm sorry. I've had a lot on in the past month, with managing to smash up my husbands car; my princess turned three and then just general life stuff. I might also be working on something else... But I am not planning on stopping this story yet.
It will be a short wait for the next chapter – But not a month like this has been. I fly out from London to Phoenix on Tuesday to attend the midnight IMAX premier of Eclipse and the "Fire and Ice" Launch Party in Surpise, Az.
Hope you enjoy the chapter – I was a little nervous about it; being from Edward's perspective. But I hope I've done him justice. If you like it, please leave me a little note. You don't have to register as I accept anon reviews. I like to know what you are all thinking.
Chapter 4
Edward:
She had awoken to her new life. Esme's transformation was complete. I would have very much liked to have been there alongside Carlisle. I had yet to witness the whole process in my three short years of being a vampire. It interested me.
At that point I still did not have the understanding of whom, or what I was – or even what I wanted to be. Carlisle never forced me to stay with him, nor did he insist that I have the same diet as he did. No. That was my choice: To be good.
During her change, I could see images of Esme. Her thoughts. She held a tiny baby in her arms. Then he was a small boy, who grew into a young man. I was unable to hear what was going on inside her head. But the imagery was quite extraordinary. Almost dream like.
I saw in her head images of herself as a young girl, and then with Carlisle, he was tending to her injury – a broken leg; his expert hands casting her limb. I heard Carlisle's soft voice in her thoughts; whispering to her, telling her the story of how they had previously met. She could hear him, and she was remembering. I hoped that this would make things easier for her when she awoke to her new life.
Carlisle deserved to have someone; He had been so good to me. I knew sometimes I could be ungrateful for the new life he had given me. He'd made a promise to my mother that he would keep me safe; so he did in the only way he could. I hoped that Esme would feel the same way.
I heard her first movements after her heart came to a complete stop. She was afraid and she did not quite know what was happening. She had been hoping that she had reached heaven.
Her thoughts started moving at a mile a minute; firstly she was trying to comprehend the smells, the sounds, the brightness of all the new surroundings – much like I remembered doing after I awoke. She was confused at the pain of the burning in her throat and mouth. I wondered how she would cope with the thirst.
I saw the face of the tiny baby in her mind again.
"William… Where is William, I can't see him. I need him, please, God, please let me have him." She thought. More images flew through her head. The infant struggling for oxygen and trying to cry out. Esme weeping and having to hand the baby over to a nurse. She watched him being carried off, away from her. Then I saw her jump. Through her eyes, I could see the earth falling away beneath her as she crashed into the waves.
Oh no….
Her baby had died. She had tried to end her own life to be with him.
"Where am I? I should be dead… But I'm not… I thought this was over. I jumped"
Her thoughts were frantic. Poor Esme. My stone heart broke for her. Esme was a mother and she had lost her son.
I made my way up the stairs and quietly tapped on the door. I waited for Carlisle to respond. I didn't want to pry, but I was certain that Carlisle didn't know what had happened to Esme before he found her. He couldn't have. I was certain that if he was aware of her pain, and her loss, that he would have left her be.
In his mind, my creator asked me to enter. I did so quietly and slowly, not wanting to aggravate Esme who was clearly distraught. Newborn vampires are very volatile.
I gave Esme a nod and looked at Carlisle. I did not want to tell him, but I knew I had to.
I felt out of respect to both Esme and Carlisle, I could not tell him exactly what I had learnt from her thoughts. This was no doubt a very sensitive issue for Esme, and it was not my story to share. I hoped that perhaps coaxing the information out of her might work. I honestly did not want to intrude. But I felt a pull towards this poor woman; not in the same way Carlisle had. But there was something there, something which made me want to wrap my arms around her.
It was a strange feeling; I was not one for close contact with others, but with Esme, it seemed different; It was as though there was something drawing me to her - she was special.
I placed a hand on Carlisle's shoulder and then turned my attention once again to Esme. Her red eyes were so bright. Her hand moved to her throat, stroking it gently. Perhaps she had thought that doing so would ease the burning.
"You're thirsty Esme – your body is craving blood. It will get easier, I promise" Carlisle said softly to her.
Her eyes darted to and from myself and Carlisle, taking us both in. Carlisle introduced me to her. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Esme" I told her, nodding my head towards her as a mark of respect. My parents had brought me up very well, teaching me that I was to be polite and respectful to ladies. Even as a vampire, I carried this with me.
Esme had not said a word, her eyes still frantic. In her mind she was still begging for her son and for entry into heaven.
"Esme, I don't mean to pry… But who is William?" I gently inquired, taking a slow step towards her. I felt this was the only way to break the ice – so that Carlisle could learn about the tragic things which had happened during her life.
Carlisle placed a firm hand on my wrist, I looked at him;
"William? Who is William? Please don't tell me she is married?" he thought. I was about to speak, when Esme spoke up.
"He's… my son" she whispered. Her eyes shut tightly, as though she were trying to blink away the tears that no longer existed in her body. I didn't need to read her thoughts to know that she was utterly devastated.
I nodded once again, and averting my eyes very quickly to Carlisle, who had suddenly tensed up beside us.
"What happened to him?" I questioned. Of course I knew full well how her story ended, but Carlisle needed to hear it; even though I hated to cause the wonderful man any sort of pain.
"He… He died" she whispered, her voice cracking towards the end of her sentence. She sobbed loudly, her hand clasping her mouth. "I wanted to die too".
Her mood changed suddenly and she leapt into a crouching position, her hands placed in front of her. She snarled and looked at Carlisle and myself.
She laughed very suddenly, almost hysterically. "I should be dead. I wanted to die. I wanted to be with my son!" her voice shrill.
Carlisle backed away, into the wall. "Oh, dear Lord, please forgive me, I had no idea… Oh, Esme"
He looked horrified; his amber eyes turned a few shades darker. His hands found his temples.
Carlisle carefully approached Esme. She was still crouched low, holding her defensive stance. She snarled as he cautiously dropped to his knees, just a mere foot away from her. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her.
Esme had no plans to attack him. Her hands were trembling as she watched him, and she refused to make eye contact.
"Esme?" He looked at her imploringly. "I had no idea. I am so very sorry. If I had known what you intended, I would have never have given you this life."
"Please just tell me this is all baloney?" she whispered, not to either of us in particular, it sounded as though she were trying to convince herself that this was all just a horrific nightmare.
"Tell me that this isn't happening, that it is all just one crazy dream, and that when I wake up…" she trailed off and dry-sobbed again.
"I wish I could tell you it were like that, my sweet Esme… I did not know you had anyone. I stole your body from the hospital and brought you here. The hospital notes said that they could not trace any family, nor had anyone of your description been reported missing. Your husband must be worried sick… And I just took you!"
My creator gripped at the side of his head once again. I pinched the bridge of my nose a little harder than I should have done, wincing slightly as Carlisle begged God for forgiveness in his head.
Esme inhaled sharply at the mention of her husband. "I have no husband. I left him when I discovered I was pregnant."
Anger boiled up within me as images flashed to me of a man, towering over Esme, taking his boot, his fists and his belt to her and shoving her backwards down onto the bed, ripping her clothing. I growled, causing her to jump. Her husband, the man whom she had married, the man who promised to love her, protect her… He had abused her. Beat her; and no doubt much worse.
"The bastard attacked you," I muttered under my breath.
Carlisle flinched. His hand gently coming into contact with Esme's. She was still shaking, yet she did not pull away from him.
"For years," she confirmed. "I was afraid that if he got angry with me, he'd harm our child. So I ran… I have nobody. I was supposed to have William. It was meant to be perfect. But he was taken from me." It was clear that Esme was struggling to tell us her tale.
Carlisle ran his thumb across her knuckles. "We won't harm you – I promise. I am just profusely sorry, Esme. You deserve so much better. You should have been loved and cherished in your life- not abused and forced to run. And your son… My words alone just cannot express… What happened? What was the cause?" he queried.
Esme's eyes fluttered closed momentarily and she let out a shaky breath. She was still quivering slightly, but I had noticed that since Carlisle had touched her, she seemed to have relaxed a little.
"He was fine" she whispered, looking at Carlisle. "I had him for four precious, wonderful days. Then he got sick. It was all just so… so sudden. He wouldn't feed, and then he struggled to breathe."
Esme was thinking back to the moments when William was struggling to nurse, she was trying him in different positions, thinking that perhaps she was feeding him wrong. His little head shook from side to side franticly, searching for her sweet milk. Then she thought of him trying so hard to cry. He could not catch his breath and his tiny lips were blue. These terrible pictures were so clear in her mind. Many vampires tend not to have such a vivid set of memories regarding their previous lives. Some things stick out, and you can remember certain aspects. But much of the time its not crystal clear. I could only assume that this was such a significant event in Esme's life that she, sadly, would have to carry these horrid memories around with her forever.
"I took him to the hospital and they told me that he wasn't going to make it. Pneumonia, they told me. They were right," she whimpered. "Two hours later he was gone."
Carlisle nodded and squeezed her hand gently. "The world is such a cruel place, I am so sorry."
Esme looked down at their hands, his much larger than hers. He slowly reached out and took her other hand, looking into her eyes. "I hope you can find some way to forgive me for what I have done to you," he muttered quietly.
"So… I am a vampire?" she whispered; looking right at him.
Esme's mind was working overtime. I had to turn my head away for a moment to cover the smirk on my face when she thought about burly and angry men chasing her along a country track holding crucifixes with a string of garlic around their necks. Some of the men had long, carved wooden stakes tucked in their belts. Oh, if only they knew.
Carlisle didn't respond.
"You… I… drink… blood!" It wasn't a question; more of a statement. The word blood was whispered under her breath whilst she was trying to figure things out.
"Not human blood, Esme – Edward and I only feed from animals. We don't want to be monsters. We try to live as normal a life as possible and try to fit in."
I was impressed with how well Esme was taking the news. She didn't seem afraid, and she was thinking that she was glad that she would not be required to kill a person purely for her sustenance For a newborn vampire, she seemed to hold a great deal of compassion and love in her heart. I knew that she was the perfect match for Carlisle. Their minds were so alike.
"You feel the burning in your throat?" I offered quietly.
Esme nodded and swallowed, wincing a little. "Yes, it's most uncomfortable," she confirmed.
"We need to find you something, Esme. You need to feed. The burning is from thirst" Carlisle told her, slowly standing up and helping Esme to her feet.
They were incredibly lucky that the sun had set hours ago. There would now be very few; if any people around to get in the way. If Esme caught the scent of human blood she would be out of control; Carlisle would not be able to hold her back.
"Would you care to join us Edward?" Carlisle asked me.
I shook my head. "I hunted last night. Take care of Esme now," I told him, thinking that he might like to be alone with her.
If you're sure, son, you are more than welcome. He thought to me. I merely smiled and shook my head. "I'm fine, honestly, but I will listen out for you. If you run into any problems, I am here"
Thank you, Edward. We will not go far, and we should be safe this time of the night. But I appreciate you helping, should we need it.
Patting Carlisle on the shoulder, I nodded once again before turning to Esme and smiling brightly at her. I liked this woman. I hoped that she would want to stay with us and live the life we led Carlisle had very strong feelings towards her already, and from what I could read of Esme, she didn't dislike my creator. They indeed had the potential to make one another very happy.
"I hope you enjoy your first hunt, Esme," I said politely. "I will see you soon, I hope."
And with that, I left the room. I went back downstairs, grabbing some fresh paper, before setting it down by my piano.
I chuckled to myself and shook my head. We could be in for an interesting ride.
Follow me on TWITTER (AT)EternallyCullen for story updates.
