Rating: T

Beta: Soyna

Cue: YOU READY…

Warning: Sex references and a seriously randy Irvine

Disclaimer: Don't own, no money being earned blah blah

…...

Wrong number

Irvine was getting bored. He was stood in a corner of the room, watching everyone else jumping and swaying to music. He, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Seifer and Verity had all come to the house party together, and, while they were all having a good time, Irvine could think of much better ways to spend his time than getting drinks spilled on him and getting 'accidentally' elbowed in the face.

Suddenly, a young student came up and asked him for a dance. She was, judging from her looks, not even sixteen yet. She was also, however, slim and blonde. Irvine shook his head sadly, watching her go with longing that would earn him a slap from Selphie. He looked around the room nervously, trying to find something to do that he wouldn't regret 'doing'. That was when he had a great idea. With a smile, he pulled out his phone. When he opened his contact list, however, his smile vanished. All the names had been changed to one.

xxxSELPHIE!xxx

Then, he realised that he had an unfinished message in his draft box. He opened it, hoping it would explain what the hell had happened.

Now u can't cheat on me if you can only ring me ;) Booyakasha!

He frowned. This was probably the worst practical joke she had ever played on him. He dropped the phone back into his pocket with a scowl, walking through the crowd to grab another drink.

…...

Now the party wasn't so bad! Irvine was swaying slightly in a chair, watching everyone and laughing at everything they did. He had probably taken down the best part of a keg by himself, but that didn't matter! Everything was good! Now, he wanted some fun! With a grin on his face, he opened his phone, looking through his contacts until he found what he thought was the right number. He typed in the message.

READY?

He sat, watching Selphie chatting with Verity across the room, waiting for her to respond. Suddenly, someone stood in his way. He was about to get up and complain, when his phone vibrated. His smile returned, and he opened the text.

for what?

'Oooh, playing hard to get. LOVE IT!' Irvine thought, his drunken grin widening. He actually giggled a little as he sent off the next text.

TO HAVE SEXXXX!

He turned to start watching her again. Verity was dancing with Zell in the middle of the room but Selphie was nowhere to be seen. Irvine sat patiently waiting…for about twenty seconds. Then he got up to go find her. He literally checked everywhere, looking under beds, tables, kegs, men and - with a little too much hope on his face - women.

Halfway through him searching under the toilet seat, his mobile finally vibrated again. He opened the text, now very ready for her to say yes.

I think you have the wrong number. I'm married

"MARRIED?" Irvine shouted. For a horrible second, a crowd of the students stuck their heads around the door and stared at him. As soon as they dispersed, Irvine turned back to the text, totally confused.

'I don't know any married people,' he thought. Except for… "OH GOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, absolutely horrified at what he had done. The students were back, and they had brought friends. He didn't care that they were watching this time though. He was too busy changing the name of the number.

Cid Kramer

…...

The text that I corrupted:

READY / for what? / TO HAVE SEXXXX / i think you have the wrong number

Oh dear…poor irvy…

With me, getting reviews is like charity. I will follow you around and shame you until I get what I want :p