"Isn't this Witch neat-looking? I mean, Witches are horrifying, but they're kind of cool, right? What do you suppose it uses that for? Or that?"

If Chell had thought Wheatley was a chatterbox, he paled in comparison to the blond in the pink harlequin outfit flinging her enormous boomerang at the pyramid-shaped form of the Witch Abigail. Alice was light on her feet and talented, clearly not a rookie, although Chell hadn't seen her around this part of the city before. She was also, in Chell's opinion, entirely too cheerful for someone fighting in the heart of a Witch Labyrinth.

"Why do you suppose they make these things anyway? I wonder why she used mushrooms?" Alice bounced right off of the cap of one of the blue mushrooms growing along the walls, doing a midair flip and catching her boomerang as if showing off. "Who are you, anyway? I don't really live around here, I'm just visiting my cousins for a couple of weeks."

Talking during a fight was something Chell generally didn't like to do, and at the moment she quite had her hands full leaping through portals to avoid the caterpillar-shaped minions the Witch sent after her. She fired a shot of light up at the pyramid, which wriggled and laughed before opening right up at the point like a package, vomiting out more caterpillar beasts. A wave of disgust ran under her skin as one of them clung to the back of her head, dripping some kind of slime through her hair.

"Oh, this is so much fun, though! Do you suppose these caterpillars will become butterflies someday? Isn't that amazing, how something can change into an entirely different creature over time?" Alice, carefree as ever, flung her boomerang through the wave of caterpillars, slicing a number of them in two. "What do you think happens if I attack the pyramid when its mouth is open?"

Of course, Chell noted to herself, there was always value in asking questions.

She opened one portal over one of the mushrooms, in a relatively safe spot, and fired upwards at the pyramid again. This time she anticipated the disgusting caterpillar rain, opening another portal beneath her feet and dropping through towards the mushrooms. It was impossible to close it before more caterpillars fell through as well, but she at least managed to close the portal on a few of them, leaving them squirming in little halves.

Alice, at least, took the cue, leaping down to the ground and spinning her boomerang rapidly in one hand until it resembled a wheel. "Wheel of Fortune! Let's see what happens when I do this!" She flung the boomerang with both hands up into the mouth of the pyramid, which sputtered and shrieked, opening up all the way like a grotesque flower before melting into nothingness.

As the Labyrinth cleared to reveal the dark corner of a park where it had materialized, Alice stretched her arms and laughed. "Wasn't that so much fun? I love fighting Witches and Familiars. What's the difference between a Witch and a Familiar, anyway?"

"A Witch is a Familiar which has taken a life." Chell stated the facts without much emotion, because it was easier that way. She didn't like to think about the degree to which she depended on Witches existing. She tried to tell herself that Witches would exist either way, and by hunting them like this, she at least minimized their casualties. She tried to tell herself a lot of things. "I think that's all, anyway."

"Oh." For a moment, Alice's cheer faded, and she stared up at the late afternoon sky. "I wonder if that's where all the Witches came from?"

"…Of course it is. Where else would they come from?" Witches spawned Familiars, Familiars became Witches. It was a cycle.

"I'm just wondering." Alice rocked back and forth on her heels. "I live downtown in the Harbor district. I hunt as many Familiars as I can there, because I don't want them to hurt people. But Witches still materialize all the time. Am I just not hunting enough of them? Do Familiars reproduce themselves? Oh," she added as she picked up the Grief Seed, "do you want this?"

That was a surprise. Chell had fought along other magicians who had wandered in from time to time, but few were so willing to share. "Well, thank you, I-wait." Her eyes fell on Alice's own Soul Gem, glowing in the harlequin's hand, its pale pink looking rather more like a darker rose. "Are you sure? You look like you need it…"

For a second, Chell could swear she spotted a fracture in Alice's bright smile, but after the blond vigorously shook her head, it was gone, much like smoothed-over makeup. "No, it's fine! It's not too bad. I'll go hunt another Witch if I need to. You have it. I insist."

It didn't feel right, but on the other hand, Chell had passed up on a Grief Seed herself the other day when Wheatley unexpectedly jumped to her side. She felt guilty as the Seed restored her Gem to a vivid sunset orange, while Alice's remained a little dim. "Thank you," she mumbled.

Alice just grinned again, her magician outfit dissolving in pink light to reveal overalls and a pink t-shirt. "Say," she added, "what do you think happens if we don't…you know what? Nevermind, I should get going." Was that another makeup crack in her voice? Before Chell could ask further, Alice had already spun around and was heading back to wherever she'd come from with a little wave. "Thanks for the help!"

Chell's eyes fell back on that Soul Gem of hers, rubbing sweat off of her forehead. She'd have to come up with another story to tell her mom to explain why she was an hour late returning from school. Maybe she could stop at the market to pick up something for dessert, in order to make it up to her.

Every so often, Chell went over a theoretical conversation in her mind, one in which she confided everything in her mom, everything that had been going on for the past year and a half. Whenever she got to the part where her mother would react, the scene would freeze, falling apart like warped film.


As Wheatley exited the school building, something inside of him pulsed and writhed.

"What-what was that?!" He leaned against the stone wall around the campus, realizing others were staring, and carefully turned away from them, waving a hand. "Um, nothing, nothing, just a little bit of a headache, that's all, don't worry about me!" He half-ran, half-staggered until he could get away from the crowds leaving school for the day, and out of what felt like instinct, pulled out his Soul Gem. It was pulsing, and flickered brighter as he started walking down the street. He felt as if he were on autopilot, letting the blue light and some odd sense tugging at his mind lead him towards…a wall.

It was just a wall in the back of an art store. In fact, it was the same art store he'd waited by in the rain just a few days ago. How much had changed since then in so little time!

"…That's where one of those things is, isn't it?" It was a gut feeling, his magic telling him something. "There's a Witch in there. And I'm talking to myself again." He slapped his forehead, looked around, and took a deep breath. "Uh, Kyubey? No chance you'd like to show up and give me some advice? Last time I tried doing this it didn't work out so well. Got unfairly tricked, I did..."

He could just walk away from it, pretended he hadn't seen this one. He wasn't really ready to face another Witch yet, was he? His plan was to strengthen himself and then go pro, so to speak. There were other magicians, magical girls and boys or whatever they might call themselves. They'd take care of the problem.

And he'd never grow any stronger, and Glados would declare him a failure for sure, someone who should just give up right away. After all, who becomes a superhero and does nothing with it?

"…Alright, well, whatever's in there, you'd better be ready for me!" A pillar of blue light surrounded him, and he emerged transformed, slipping through the circular gate leading to the Witch's personal zone. "And please, please don't be full of cake. Please don't be disgusting this time, would you?"

He stumbled into a cavern where walls dripped with still wet-paint that pooled at his feet, swirling in every color he could imagine. It bubbled and flowed like lava, splashing against the stone walls of tunnels that seemed to extend forever in four directions. "Mmmm-hmm." Wheatley sighed. "Bloody disgusting." He could hear a sloshing sound as he lifted his soaked boots. "Do I have to wash out these transformation clothes? They were such a nice shade of blue, too..."

He spotted a figure ahead of him, and without any other kind of landmark, rushed towards the stranger, who whipped around the moment the splash of long legs signaled his arrival. It wasn't Chell, or Rita, for that matter. He knew this person in a red, hooded cloak and mask, he was sure of it, though he had to look through the mask to remember where he'd seen the other magician.

"…Wait, aren't you the class president!?"

"What!?" Craig's eyes widened, his hands clutched around a scarlet hammer that dripped with five different colors of paint. "You're…I don't care who you are, get the Hell out of my nightmare!"

"Okay, um, look, mate, it's not actually a dream. I know it sounds and looks like a dream, the really freaky kind you can't even completely remember fully when you wake up? And you wonder how you didn't even know it was a dream because you do things like fly and ride a dog to town without thinking about it? But this is in fact happening, we are in fact knee-deep in what I hope is paint, and, um, you have a little…blue right there." Wheatley indicated his own left cheek with his hand. Craig ignored it as he swung that scarlet hammer of his through a basketball-sized ball of paint with a fiendishly happy face on it.

"Nope. None of this is happening. You can't convince me. There is absolutely nothing logical about this entire scenario," the Eighth Grade Class President of St. Aperture Catholic School loudly insisted as he slogged through a river of bubbling tempera paint. "Fact: paint doesn't flow through volcanic caverns. Fact: little creatures don't grant wishes. Fact: I am pretty sure that waterfall," he indicated with a point, "is flowing up, which is physically impossible. Even if you allow for the existence of magic wish-granting creatures and superheroes, it does not explain a violation of the laws of physics."

Another happy paint blob monster leaped up at Wheatley, and he let out an undignified yelp as he pulled the floating crystal he controlled down upon the thing, splattering it. It left him colored like a bad tie-dye shirt, but it did feel good actually hitting something on his own for once. Even if he was using what appeared to be a ranged weapon as a dull blunt object. "Um, well, see it if you want to, I guess. So, you're a magician too then, eh? Small world, isn't it? I really had no idea you had other hobbies outside of Student Government, I assumed that took up most of your time…"

"This, um. This is actually my first time out. You know, in the hypothetical situation where this is actually happening," Craig added, pulling his hood up further around his face. "Which it is not." His costume made him look rather like a male Red Riding Hood, Wheatley observed, though he managed not to point that out.


It wasn't happening, of course. Craig knew exactly where all of these dream elements were coming from. The little creature was something from a video game. In fact, so was this entire scenario. The rainbow cavern brought to mind a dungeon level from Mario, right down to jumping blobs of paint lava. Craig had read numerous books on dreams and knew they were pulled from the subconscious. This was his subconscious's way of telling him he needed to play fewer video games.

It didn't explain the presence of a classmate, though. Why would Craig dream about him? Said classmate was standing with his chest puffed out, looking rather ridiculous in a blue tuxedo and tails with a little hat but apparently more confident about the situation.

And for the life of him, Craig could not remember his name. Oh dear.

"Oh. Ohh, well, that's okay! You've got me here, now, I'm a seasoned pro. I'll guide you right through. Piece o'cake, these Witch hunts, don't know how much Kyubey told you but he does tend to just throw a guy right into things, the little jerk. But no worries! I've got your back, I'll show you the ropes." The other boy grinned confidently. The thing Kyubey had called a Soul Gem pinged, and Craig ignored it. He knew what it meant and was a bit too confused to care.

"Well. That's something, anyway. I would appreciate some help," Craig admitted, stopping to try to squeeze burnt sienna out of his sleeve. His mind raced to try to remember who that kid was. He knew the taller boy went to his school. Tall and thin, particularly in comparison to Craig's short and heavyset frame, with curly hair styled back and thick-framed glasses. He'd even be cute if he could learn how to dress himself and didn't carry himself like such an awkward flamingo. The height was notable, the accent unmistakable. Tall white British kid, tall white British kid. What was his damn name?!

He swung the hammer over his shoulder casually. It should have been far too heavy for a non-athlete like Craig to carry, but in his arms it felt light as a feather. 'Gravitational magic' is what Kyubey had called it. It was only as heavy as he needed it to be. He looked back at-Walter? Willy? It was some w-name, wasn't it? Something a bit odd, too. Whitney? There were men named Whitney, right? Well, whoever the boy was, he was staring at Craig.

"Something wrong? You're staring at me like I have…paint on my face, right." Craig sighed, turning down yet another tunnel. "Well, Kyubey told me this was a Witch, and if I didn't go in to kill it, it would…" He abruptly stopped for a moment, shaking his head. "It would do something terrible, that's all. Well, whatever, it's all nonsense, but it's nice to have someone I can trust. You're, um. Wally, right?"

"Wheatley," the taller boy answered immediately, "but you know, close! Close enough. We only have geometry together, and the same lunch period, and we were in the same homeroom last year when I transferred in and had to introduce myself and didn't realize my uniform jacket was on inside out. So really, I'm glad you didn't remember that!" He puffed in his chest as the two approached a door apparently drawn into a cave wall with charcoal. "Well, mate, this might be where that Witch actually is. Don't you worry, like I said! Just hang behind ol' Wheatley, he knows exactly what he's doing." He attempted to kick the 'doors' open, only to find that the wall was, in fact, a wall, and quite a hard one at that. It wasn't very pleasant for his left foot, which he held with both hands. "Ow ow ow, bloody fake door! Damn Witches…"

Oh, good. He'd already managed to alienate his first possible ally. Besides, forgetting the name of a fellow student in homeroom was a terrible transgression for a member of Student Government! After silently scolding himself, Craig leaned in to where Wheatley had kicked and rubbed a hand over his chin before remembering the hand had green paint on it. "You made a good crack, though. Let me try to finish it off. It's like a video game. Hidden doors reveal themselves when you break walls." He took a step back, resisting the urge to hum a 'Zelda' theme. For a dream, this was actually a lot of fun. It took one long, hard swing with the hammer to smash the weak point in the door right open.

"Fact: I really shouldn't be able to swing this hammer. This is too weird..."


Craig's shows of prowess and confidence earned a stare from Wheatley. Where was the awkward stumbling around with powers not yet understood? Craig was even less experienced than he himself was, and yet he wasn't falling all over himself barely able to use the weapon Kyubey had given him. It made something inside of him burn a little, something deep in his guts. Of course, he reminded himself, Craig was also a good student. Not a 'late bloomer,' as his mother used to call him with gentle affection.

He'd long ago realized that 'late bloomer' was a nice way of saying 'underachiever.'

Of course, he couldn't let that insecurity show in front of Craig. The other boy's face was masked and hooded, but Wheatley didn't need to see his face to realize he was at the very least in denial. Denial could lead to panic, and panic could get them both killed. He was, very technically, the most experienced magician present, and he had volunteered to take the lead. "Well, good, good, for a start, anyway. I guess it is a little like a video game, right? I thought those big smiley things looked like the fireballs that jump out of the lava in Mario games. Right, no wasting time!" He started marching rather dramatically through the new opening, towards what he hoped was the main chamber. "Onward to oh my gosh."

The main chamber was a huge hollow cavern with a conical shape, suggesting the inside of a volcano. The Witch, what he assumed had to be the Witch, filled most of the chamber with its sheer size. It resembled a child's pastel drawing of a bee, with a long, multicolored abdomen and entirely too many legs coming out of its thorax. Its face tilted back and forth rhythmically, and enormous wigs beat around it with a sound like thunder. A comically tiny crown sat upon its head.

Odette

The Artist Witch

Craig sputtered, pointing upwards at the Witch's swollen body. "That is completely impossible! Something like that is impossible! Its body is too heavy to be supported! Certainly nothing with an exoskeleton can get that size! It violates the Square-Cube Law. And it shouldn't be able to fly."

Wheatley turned to stare at Craig, tilting his head a little. "We're facing a giant bloody paint-bee-thing and what bothers you is that it violates the laws of physics?"

"Look," Craig snapped, "if I focus on how comically impossible this situation is, I don't think about how terrifying it is. Let me have this, okay?"

The taller boy fell quiet, suddenly feeling like a bit of a heel. Craig really was just as scared as he was, perhaps moreso, since Wheatley himself at least had seen a Witch taken down. At least he knew there was an endgame, that fights like this ended with the combatants alive and the Witch a harmless little trinket. During that first fight of his, he wasn't sure if what he was witnessing wasn't the end of the world.

So Craig clearly needed him to be brave, and anyway, it felt good to pretend to be courageous even if he was lying. "Don't worry, mate, this one shouldn't be hard! I reckon it's C-class, maybe B-class at best-WHOA!" He sprung up in a high leap to avoid the wave of pencils the bee shot from its stinger, each one long as a spear, while Craig ran low through the paint lake bubbling beneath them. "Careful, mate! Just keep moving and don't let up hitting it! That's-that'll be our strategy, yes! Hit it and don't get hit!"

As he descended, he summoned two more crystal orbs, leaving him with three of them surrounding him. "Alright," he mumbled to himself, "no pretty girl to help me out here, guess I'd best figure out what exactly these are meant to do…" He swept an arm forward and a spear of crystal shot out from the sphere, sweeping against the queen bee's fat body. "Good! Good, I can in fact hit the broad side of a barn, that's good to know…"

The bee, furious at the gash the crystal had left, turned to aim its stinger directly at Wheatley, who quite suddenly realized he was facing that stinger a few inches from his face. "Oh come ON-" His incoming rant at the injustice of being in such a predicament was cut short by the unearthly screech of the Witch as something pummeled it from behind, slamming it into one of the walls and stunning it.

Craig dropped from his high leap and landed, with just the hint of a smile. "It shouldn't be possible for me to jump that high," he helpfully informed Wheatley. "But I guess I can. I knew it was a dream. You can always do impossible stuff in dreams. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Wheatley tried to hide how sore he was at being saved by the even newer guy. "Yeah, mate, I'm fine, thanks. Just biding my time! Just waiting for the perfect time to attack…"

"I think it really hates being attacked there," Craig helpfully suggested, pointing to the back of the thorax. "It must be a weak spot. I knew this was like a video game…"

"Ah, brilliant! Good idea, we'll concentrate on that spot when we can oh gosh it's awake again." Sure enough, the Witch had revived itself, hovering furiously and giving off a thunderous hum. The hum seemed to call forth those blobs from the paint itself, an entire wave of the grinning, cackling things splashing together to form a wave aimed right at Craig.

"-Oh, mate, watch out!" Without really thinking, he jumped in front of the class president, crossing his arms in front of him and just trembling as he waited for whatever came next. The hit never came, however, and when he opened his eyes, he understood why. Paint was sliding right off of a blue glass window hovering in front of him. No, not glass. It was crystal. His crystals had flattened in front of him, and reshaped themselves into their orb form now that he was safe.

"…It's a barrier," he marveled. "I mean, um," he added with an awkward glance at Craig, "see that? That's a barrier! A mighty nice shield, really. Bit of a shame you probably can't do that, but we all have our talents and weaknesses, I'm sure you'll figure yours out soon."

Craig was looking a little stunned and pale, but nodded. "Thanks, Wheatley." He had to pause to catch his breath, probably more from the shock than anything else. No one who could leap that high could get winded so easily. "Hey, listen," he added, eyes lighting up, "I have a plan! It seems to only use projectile attacks. You can use that barrier to protect yourself and try to get it to focus fire on you, and I'll try to hit it from behind with, well, I guess just a strong attack to finish it off…"

"Oh, yes, good plan!" Wheatley snapped in the air and beamed. "Perfect plan, wish I'd thought of it, you distract it and I-wait, you want me to be the distraction?! Are you trying to get me killed?! I voted for you! I mean, no, that's a lie, I didn't vote because I couldn't really decide, but I decided later I would have voted for you!"

"Calm down. You have the barrier," Craig reminded him. "I don't think I can do that. I'll make sure it doesn't get time to break through. I promise." Something in the determination in Craig's eyes was awfully convincing. "Just because I'm dreaming doesn't mean I'll let anything happen to one of my classmates."

Wheatley wanted to refuse, to run, to hide, to admit that he really wasn't a pro at anything and that the barrier was probably a fluke, even if he was sure he could reproduce it. But he had to admit, he didn't have a better plan. "Okay, fine, let me just get its stupid attention…HEY!" He cupped his hands around his mouth as he called up to the Witch, and then pointed to fire a laser from one of the crystals. "Hey, you up there! Your big maze or whatever it is? Completely disgusting! I don't know what you think you're doing here, but I never want to see a drop of paint again for the rest of my life, thanks to you!"

It probably didn't matter what he said, because the Witch reacted to the laser beam burning its abdomen immediately. Wheatley didn't hesitate, forming a crystal barrier in front of him immediately before the barrage of pencils could launch. On a whim, and largely out of panic, he managed to create a second and then a third layer to his shield, wincing and trembling as he watched pencil spears crash right into the crystal and shatter. Each and every one of those pencils could impale him in seconds.

But the barrier held. This must have been his power. Appropriately for a coward, he had a nearly impenetrable shield.

"Libra Gravitation!"

Something large, hammer-shaped and immaterial came down on the Witch from behind, slamming it down with full force. Wheatley caught sight of Craig, hovering for a moment, moving his arms as if swinging an invisible hammer downwards. The creature seemed pinned down for a few seconds, and then outright exploded, splashing a veritable tsunami of paint in every direction that flooded the entire chamber, submerging both boys for a second.

Wheatley gasped for air as the flood subsided, slumping against the back wall of the store. He glanced down at Craig, who seemed just as overwhelmed, though both were completely dry and clean. Somehow, with the absurdity of the situation, he couldn't help but laugh out loud. His laugh was obnoxious and nasal, but he didn't care, not right now.

Even Craig chuckled a bit, covering his mouth as the two of them both reverted to their ordinary clothes. "Fact: you have to call out the names of your attacks. It's just how things are done. But that was-that was completely ridiculous! It was a boss battle from a video game, like I said. This dream is absolutely ridiculous." He leaned against the wall and sighed, holding his hand out where a red Soul Gem gleamed. "Completely ridiculous! I've been working too hard, I think…" He looked up at Wheatley. "Oh, thanks, by the way. I'm really glad you were there to help."

Wheatley had stopped laughing, and as much as he hated himself for it, what Craig had just admitted distracted him. Again, Craig seemed to know his magic intuitively. He was able to cast some kind of gravity spell on his first time out, when it took Wheatley several battles to even realize he had a shield. A damn barrier. In fact, in both of the fights he'd had against Witches, he'd needed someone else to help him.

Late bloomer.

"Uh, right," he added quickly, sounding a little distracted. "Anytime, mate. Actually, you know what? I'm going to contact someone soon to get some more information about this whole gig, I can pass on her information if you want. They say she's a real pro, even more experienced than I am, might be able to help you out." He reached into his backpack and tore off a piece of notebook paper, and copied the e-mail address Rita had given him. "Up to you, of course…"

Chell would have to wait, that was all. Glados could actually help him, and then he'd actually be able to help Chell.

Craig accepted the e-mail without commentary, looking distracted himself as he bent down to pick up a small object. "Hey, um, what is this?"

Wheatley recognized the Grief Seed and slapped his forehead. "Oh, that! How could I forget about that? We need those to keep our little, um, what is it, Gem Crystals or whatever they're called clean, I guess. Not sure why, but it's important! So if you don't mind…" He was about to ask Craig to hand it over, when he remembered what Chell did for him after his first fight.

She really wouldn't approve of him keeping it to himself. If he could tell her later how he helped a newbie, and one with more skill and a better GPA than himself no less, how proud she'd be of him!

"Um, you know what, mate? You can have it. Just tap it to your Gem until all the shadowy stuff goes away. It just gets that way when we exert ourselves. I'll…" He glanced at his own Gem, which looked a little dimmer than it did before, and quickly clasped his hand around it so he didn't have to look at it. "I'll be just fine, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Craig seemed to pick up on the process relatively quickly, the smudge fading from his red Gem. Then he looked up at Wheatley, that pointed, serious look back in his eyes. "Hey, thanks. I mean it. I still think this is probably a weird dream, but it's nice that I had someone to help me out through it. That shop, my family owns it, so…yeah, thanks. I'm sorry I never learned your name."

Wheatley rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, it's fine, mate, you're hardly the only one. I guess I'll see you at school on Monday? Or, you know, sooner, if we talk to that person…"

"Um, yeah, sure." Craig nodded, voice a little dull now, and started to walk off as if in a daze. Poor guy, Wheatley thought, it's all hitting him, isn't it?

A memory flickered of endless waves of spears, crashing against a weakening barrier, each large enough to impale him through and keep going.

His adrenaline drained, Wheatley shuddered and leaned against the wall as he remembered the giant monster, the nightmarish tree, Kyubey's unblinking gaze. He held his Soul Gem to his chest to calm himself and slow his heartbeat as it all hit him.


"Mom?" Craig did his best to steady his own voice as he entered the store, trying to pretend nothing was wrong. "Dad? Someone's in here, right? Since it's unlocked…"

It was awfully quiet, but he could see the door to the back room open. It sounded like his mother was on the phone, and there was something off in her voice. His dad was behind the counter, and as Craig approached, the big man wiped a hand from his eyes as if to hide crying.

"-Dad? Dad, what's wrong?! Is Kevin…?"

"The hospital just called. He made a full recovery, practically overnight. It's some kind of miracle." His father half-laughed, half-cried and picked Craig right up in a hug. "He's going to be okay…!"

And only then, in his father's embrace, as he overheard his mother crying tears of joy as she called aunts and uncles, did Craig really suspect that any of this was real.


Chell had managed to get home early enough that she had actual time to spend with her mom, but the woman was still a little distant. She knows me too well, she thought. She always knew when something was up, except now I can't tell her about it. Marie had enough to deal with anyway, with…well, Dad. Or the lack of Dad.

Marie had hugged her and asked her about her day, and Chell made up a story about helping a girl named Alice find her way back to the subway station. They shared the small pineapple cake she'd picked up from a bakery, and watched one of those idol shows together, but she was sure Marie could feel the same discomfort she did. The coming home late, the reports of missing the occasional class or skipping school, surely Marie had to know about them.

She probably thinks I'm acting out because of Dad.

In her room that night, she pulled up that boy's e-mail address and stared at an empty e-mail window. 'Hey, listen, I'm sorry that-' Delete. 'Hey, look, I know this is scary, but-' Delete. 'Hey, I don't know how much you know about any of this, but-' Delete.

'Hey. It's Chell.'

She hit send, feeling like a complete idiot, and not just because of her poor communication skills. What exactly was she doing? Drawing another person into her web of disasters? Glados was venomous, but at least magicians who worked by her side stayed alive. Chell just sucked people in to her tornado of a life until they were thrown out the other side, leaving her alone again. It was just what happened.

What a stupid goddamn wish.

A little icon flashed, indicating a new message in her inbox. She anticipated the boy's overly wordy, clumsily-typed reply full of tangents and rambling or worse, gratitude and admiration, but that wasn't his e-mail. No, she knew who that was.

Hey Disaster Girl, just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be presenting some very important information to anyone who wants it a week from Sunday, through a demonstration. I've even extended the courtesy of an invitation to you, which I am sure you're aware that you do not deserve. Because you are a monster. Come if you want or don't, I don't care, but I wouldn't miss this. It's going to be great. I think you'll love the surprise.

-G


"You want your worst enemy to see your experiment? How bold," Kyubey remarked as he sat on Glados's shoulder.

She just chuckled, rubbing the soft fur between his ears with a finger. "It's rude to read over people's shoulders, Kyubey. Here you go, hot chocolate." She reached over to the takeout container next to her, pulling out a small paper cup and lifting the cover for him.

Kyubey beamed as much as he ever did, leaping down and lapping up whipped cream with his tongue. "Delicious! Oh, your courier is here."

"I ain't your courier, rat," Rita hissed as she landed on the roof, tossing a black object Glados's way. "Here, it's what you asked for. Goddamn, coulda sworn there were three Witches in the area in one day, I had my damn pick. What's with the frequency lately? I got other things to do sometimes!" She stretched and yawned. "Well, whatever. More fun for me! But I keep the next Seed, okay?"

"Of course, of course." Glados caught the Grief Seed and used it to clear the shadows from her Gem until it shone brilliant white, tossing the empty shell for Kyubey to retrieve as he always did. "Anyway, I suspect we'll be seeing a new Witch Saturday night, if my calculations are correct and no one interferes with that Familiar by Broad Street. Or you know, kill it while it's still a Familiar, if you feel like playing hero." She raised an eyebrow, and Rita looked a little uncomfortable for a moment. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Whatever, it's all yours either way, I have work to do."

"Right, right." Rita rubbed the back of her neck, looking out on the cityscape and shivering a little. "Man, it's getting cold! Are you really gonna spend the whole night up here? I mean, at least find a hotel room or something. I don't want you to freeze or nothin'…be a shoddy bodyguard or knight or whatever if I let a lady freeze."

Oh, she thought, that's right. It's probably cold for people who can still feel that.

"Thanks for the concern, but really, I'm fine. Mind your own business, Rita." She handwaved to dismiss the girl in green, who just snorted and took off again. Late November. She could at least remember the feel of early winter winds, even if she hadn't felt them in such a long time.

It was all worth it. Anything was worth living forever.