The Illegitimate Daughter: A Modern Family Fanfiction
by: cooopercrisp
Chapter 04: "Phil, There's Something I Have to Tell You…"
"Mitchell, I need to see you and Dad alone, in private," Claire said over the cell phone. Phil was at work and the kids were at school, so Claire knew she had to take advantage of her privacy now so she could work this out.
"Claire, is this about that Haley situation?" Mitchell asked, trying not to sound peeved. He was driving to the courthouse to attend a hearing.
"Yes, Mitchell, it is," Claire said, holding her forehead and tightening her lip. "The guilt is literally eating me alive and I don't know what to do."
"If the guilt were 'literally' eating you alive," Mitchell says with a groan, "you would 'literally' die from the inside out." He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. "It's not that I don't feel bad for her. I do. But the solution is simple, if also difficult: tell Phil the truth. You wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore, and you could work through this like adults, and…" He pauses for thought. "Well, the marriage might not survive, and the family would be torn apart, and the kids might resent their mother." He takes a deep breath. "Well, maybe I can see where she's coming from now. Wish I had known that talking to her in the car…"
"Claire, look, Lily's home from school and work is a nightmare with all the backlog from my time off. Now is really not a good time to discuss something this serious. If you want to talk to Dad—who, unlike me, didn't just find out about this—be my guest, but I can't deal with this right now."
"Mitchell, wait!" Claire cried, but the phone had already hung up. Claire groaned and slammed her phone down on the counter. She leaned on the counter and took a deep breath.
"I couldn't believe my brother!" Claire says haughtily. "I mean, I know we haven't been the best siblings since Mom and Dad got their divorce, but if he doesn't help me, I might have to go through a divorce myself!" Claire bit down on her fingers. "I really could have used my little brother today, but it looked like I'd have to do without."
Claire picked up the cell phone and dialed it again. It rang a few times, but Jay finally answered.
"This about Haley?" Jay asked immediately.
Claire sighed. "It's like you can read my mind."
"I'm your father," he said with a smirk. "You think I don't know when my daughter needs me?"
Claire breathed a sigh of relief. "I guess you're pretty good at that."
"Of course I am. Now look. I'm at the office, so I really can't talk now, but I get off at five. If you can get out of the house, we'll take a drive, just you and me. Remember that hilltop off the interstate we always used to go?"
"After Dad refused to talk to me for weeks after finding out about the whole situation," Claire explains, "he drove me to this one place with a beautiful sycamore tree. It was where he always took Mitchell and I to talk about the important stuff. After Mitchell came out, they had a talk there that lasted 'til all hours of the night. When he and Mom were getting a divorce, he took us there to give us the news and we stayed there all day. Well, he took me there, and we had a nice long talk about my options, and he really got me through it. Now, twenty years later, we're going back there to talk about it again." She looks out the window as if in a dream, then turns back to me. "I love that tree."
"The hill with the giant sycamore tree?" Claire asked. "Yes, I do remember."
"We'll sit under those tree branches like we always did," Jay promised, "and we'll work this thing out. You call Mitchell yet?"
"He was just being an asshole about it," Claire griped. "It's as if his 'super important life' means more to him than anyone else's. You know, this riff that came between us when you and Mom divorced, I don't think it ever totally went away."
"I can see that," Jay said. "I'll talk to Mitchell. He usually gets out of court at four, right?"
"I think so," Claire said, smiling widely, even though Jay couldn't see it.
"Don't worry. I know how to knock some sense into your little brother. Pick you up around five-fifteen?"
"That would be fine, but the kids are going to be home way before then. How do I get out of making dinner?"
"Tell them you'll order some take-out and that you'll get dinner with me and Mitchell. Hell, it won't even be lying. We could easily do that after we talk. Sound good?"
Claire felt overwhelmed with affection for her father. "Sounds great, Dad."
"Okay, then. See you at five-fifteen. Love you, Claire Bear."
"Dad, it's a little embarrassing," Claire said, blushing slightly.
"'Love you, too, Dad,'" Jay said with a smirk. Claire stammered a bit, but Jay had already hung up.
"My dad was a lifesaver," Claire reflects, looking relieved and even happy. "I'm not sure what's got him to be so concerned about me and supportive. He reacted badly when I first told him this twenty years ago." Claire looks around, as if taking in her living room for the first time. "I know I shouldn't question it, but I wonder what brought on this change. Was it Gloria? Manny? Little Joe? Maybe having a second chance at a family made him realize how badly his first chance went, and he's making up for all those years, all those sad, sad years…" Claire looks ready to cry and self-conscious about being in front of me. "Excuse me," she says, walking briskly out of the room, but I can hear a small sniffle from the hallway as she leaves.
"Mitchell, it's Dad," Jay said over the phone. "You're not picking up, so I know you must be in court or at a meeting or something. Whatever it is, call me back as soon as you get this. It's important. Thanks, bye." He hung up the phone and sighed tensely.
"I know Mitchell's busy," Jay explains, "but he's becoming as much of a workaholic as I used to be. If he doesn't watch it, I'm afraid he'll start smoking and drinking like me, too. I mean, I finally quit the smoking after I left DeDe, except for the occasional cigar, and the drinking…well, I'm still working on that. I love that kid to death, but if he doesn't wise up real soon, he'll become the kind of father I was, and that kind of father is not the good kind."
Mitchell reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, as he always did once he left the courtroom. When he saw the missed call from Jay, he rolled his eyes and shoved the phone back in his pocket.
"I knew exactly why Dad was calling," Mitchell explains. "Claire was upset that I wasn't being supportive to her, and she told on me." He suddenly looks sad. "I don't mean it like that. It's just…it's uncomfortable for me. Ever since I found out, it's been bothering me. Can't sleep at night without a scotch—which I know, I'm gay, but I can still drink manly drinks—and I've just been burying myself in work since coming back from the honeymoon.
"Cam knew immediately something was bothering me," he continues, "but given the nature of the issue, I knew I couldn't tell him anything."
"Mitchell, you're so tense lately," Cam said one night as Mitchell sat on the bed with a glass of scotch that was about half full. "And you know I'm not a big fan of the ol' moonshine." He put his hands on Mitchell's shoulders and began rubbing them. "Tell me what's going on. You know I'm here for you."
Mitchell sighed and turned his head to look at Cam, who really did look concerned. Is it that obvious? Mitchell wondered.
"Work just sucks right now," Mitchell lied. "I've got a huge backlog of cases to work through. Paperwork, hearings, upset clients, it's just a lot to deal with."
Cam frowned, clearly dissatisfied with that answer. "Okay, Mitchell. It's fine if you don't want to talk about it. Newly married husbands, and we're already keeping secrets!" He lifted himself off the bed and out of the room. Mitchell swore under his breath and desperately followed him.
"Okay, so it's not all work!" Mitchell called after him. Cam stopped and turned around, his arms crossed, sulking. "It's a family thing. My family," Mitchell explained, seeing that Cam was about to interject. "It's something we only want to discuss with a few people, and I'm sorry, Cam, but I can't tell you what it is yet. Hopefully we can work this out, and then I'll explain everything. Until then, you're just going to have to trust me."
Cam wanted to keep sulking, but looking into Mitchell's eyes, he knew his husband was saying everything he could. "You know I can't stay mad at you," Cam gushed, coming over to Mitchell and pecking him on the lips. "I'll leave you alone about it, on one condition."
"What's that?" Mitchell asked, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.
"Lay off the scotch," he said sternly. "We don't want that kind of booze lying around the house. What if Lily got into it?"
Mitchell sighed but gave Cam a smile. "Okay. Next chance I get, I'll take it over to Dad's. He'll heckle me for drinking out of my league, but it's the brand he likes and he'll gladly take it off my hands."
"Sure, give it to your alcoholic father," Cam jibed. Mitchell groaned and Cam put a hand on his shoulder. "Kidding!" he said.
"No, you have a point," Mitchell said. "I mean, he never got drunk drunk, but that's immediately where he went after coming home from work. Mom hated it, but I think that only encouraged him."
"Your dad's a complicated man," Cam said. "As long as he didn't hurt you or Claire, I'm not worried about his drinking."
"Define 'hurt,'" Mitchell said, his voice cracking a bit. Cam sighed and gave his husband a warm hug.
"Poor choice of words," Cam said. "But you and your father are on good terms now, and I hope it can stay that way."
"I hope so, too," Mitchell said, going to the kitchen and dumping the rest of his glass of scotch down the sink. "Let's just go to sleep. I need a clear head for tomorrow; I've got three hearings to attend."
"Sounds good to me, partner," Cam said. He followed Mitchell into bed. Mitchell laid on his left side and closed his eyes. Cam kissed him delicately on the neck. Mitchell smiled but turned over to Cam.
"Now's not really a great time for that," Mitchell explained. "I'm sorry."
"That's fine," Cam said, only looking a little disappointed. "I'm sure there'll be time for that eventually."
"There will be once work lightens up and this family situation gets under control," Mitchell promised, kissing Cam softly on the lips.
"Looking forward to it," Cam said with a wink. The two of them tucked in and shut their eyes, far more ready to sleep than they had been.
"Sex is really awkward for a gay man," Cam explains, taking a deep breath and wringing his hands. "First, you have to realize that that's actually what you want, and there's a whole lot of hell to go through when you're trying to figure that out. Then, if you have a history with women—you know, before you knew—you haven't really gotten to know what sex is supposed to feel like, and you can't help but compare your two experiences. Mitchell and I, of course, dated plenty of women before we knew. Mitchell even had that fling with his old high school girlfriend that led to that whole baby scare, and that was after he knew he was gay." Cam sighs, breathing deeply, appearing to be trying to clear his mind. "The honeymoon was great, but when we came back to L.A., he started to shut me out. Knowing about this family thing makes me feel a little bit better about it, but it's still concerning."
"Cam…" Mitchell says, thinking hard. "I recognize I've been giving him the cold shoulder lately. I felt bad about it, but I knew I had to deal with it. So when I saw that Dad called during my hearing, I knew I had to start dealing with this Claire/Haley thing so I could focus on my marriage instead of my sister's." Mitchell looks around his room and sighs.
"I don't know, I'm feeling a bit resentful about all this," he admits. "Every time something good happens to me, Claire somehow finds a way to turn the attention on herself. She's been doing that for as long as I can remember. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. This is really painful for her. It's just…okay, she's had twenty years to straighten this out, and she picks my wedding to finally start dealing with it?" Mitchell buries his head in his hands and groans.
"God, I'm a terrible brother," he says, not lifting his head up. "I really should be there for Claire and not put my shit on top of it. She's going through enough as it is, and she doesn't need a jealous younger brother mucking up the works." He lifts his head and smiles sadly.
"Hey, Dad," Mitchell said, calling him from the car.
"There you are," Jay said, chuckling. "Claire told me about your recent…phone call, and she hopes you reconsider and join us up on the hill tonight."
"She couldn't tell me that herself?"
"I told her I'd call, so if anything, be mad at me," Jay replied. "Look, I know you and Claire are a little at odds. Totally my fault, by the way. I'm really sorry about that."
"It's not you, Dad," Mitchell said with a sigh. "That's on us, and it's up to us to figure it out."
"Well, now would be a great time to start," Jay suggested. "She really needs her brother right now, and it would mean a lot to her if you came so we could discuss this."
"I know, Dad, I know," Mitchell said. He caught the tension in his voice and tried to relax. "I'll be there. Don't worry. Cam and I didn't have plans for dinner anyway. We were probably just going to order pizza, honestly. He's a little tired of cooking right now."
"Perfect!" Jay said jovially. "Get your car home. I'll pick you up once I get out at five; you're on your way to Claire's, and she'll be happy to see you right away."
"Sounds good, Dad. Looking forward to it."
Jay chuckled. "Okay, have a good rest of the day at work, son."
"Thanks, Dad. Bye."
"Okay, bye."
"This is going to sound really silly," Mitchell tells me, "but I don't remember the last time Dad's said 'I love you' to me. I know he's capable; I've heard him say it to Claire. But with me…I don't know, he seems a bit uncomfortable."
"I might be a little less…affectionate towards Mitchell than I am to Claire," Jay confirms. "And before you ask, it's not the gay thing. He's just always been a little tenser around me, always seemed to be more of a Mama's boy… That's not how I meant to put it." He sighs and rubs his forehead. "It's not that I don't love him. I just feel a lump in my throat when I go to say it, and then I chicken out and settle with 'bye, son,' or 'see you, champ.' It's probably a problem, but Mitchell hasn't said anything to me about it, so…" He rubs the back of his head and smiles nervously.
Jay pulled up to Cam and Mitchell's house and honked on the horn. He waited a moment before his redheaded son hustled out of the house and to his car. He climbed into the passenger seat in the front and smiled awkwardly at his father.
"It's a little warm for khakis, isn't it?" Jay asked. Mitchell rolled his eyes.
"My legs are too thin to look good in shorts," he replied.
"Okay, no problem," Jay said, pulling away from the curb and on the way to Claire's house. "Hope you like grass stains," he said with a chuckle.
"Not a problem. I have to go to the cleaners this weekend anyway," Mitchell said flatly.
Jay huffed and turned his eyes to the road. Mitchell stared out the window and watched the houses pass by.
"So how's work?" Jay asked, hands clenching the steering wheel a bit tightly.
"Fine," Mitchell replied, not turning from the window.
"Got any big cases?" Jay asked curtly.
"Nothing too important," Mitchell responded. "A few ordinance violations, but there's a lot of work anyway. I'm preparing for a major lawsuit over pollution at the power plant. Not looking forward to that one. They've got a whole team of sharks ready to tear me to shreds, so it's been a lot of work trying to keep up."
"That really bites," Jay said, still not looking away from the road. "Still, everyone's got to have a shot in court."
"I guess," Mitchell said.
"I had no idea how we would be able to help Claire," Mitchell reflects, "not the way Dad and I were 'getting along.' I don't know what happened! His toast was so touching at the ceremony, and he can't hold a fucking conversation with me in the car." He looks embarrassed, rubbing his beard. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be swearing so much, especially with Lily at home. I've just been really stressed lately, and it slips out once in a while."
"God," Jay gripes, "you know, I love Mitchell, but we just can't really connect. It was even a problem before he came out to the family, but that certainly didn't help make things easier. Not that I'm a homophobe," he adds, shaking his hands in front of him. "No, I might be a bit uncomfortable around it, but I'm not about to say they're going to hell for it. It's just…he was my first boy. I was going to teach him to throw a baseball, ride a bike, go fishing. But work got in the way, and when I did get a chance to spend time with him, he didn't want to do any of those boy things. It was hard for me to relate, and it's still hard now."
They spent the next few minutes in silence, thinking to themselves about Claire's situation. Jay cleared his throat at one point, and Mitchell looked towards him, expecting him to start talking to him. Jay said nothing, so Mitchell went back to looking out the window. Finally, he groaned and faced his father.
"This is ridiculous," he griped. Jay's brow furrowed.
"What's up?"
"What are we supposed to do to help Claire? We haven't figured out what we want to say."
"Oh, right," Jay said, nodding his head. "Well, what do you want to tell her?"
"What I told her at the wedding," Mitchell replied. "Tell Phil the truth."
"You know, that's a lot harder than it sounds."
"I know, I know," Mitchell said, wiping his forehead. "But, as you know, I'm a lawyer, and we care about the truth, the whole truth and nothing—"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen enough 'Law and Order,'" Jay snipped. Mitchell glared at him, but Jay turned and gave him a smirk. "Kidding. I get your point. I actually want Claire to fess up, too."
"Well, how are we going to convince her?" Mitchell asked.
"Good question," Jay remarked. He then sighed. "Okay, I'll be serious. Claire may have been a bit of a wild child back when this whole thing happened, but she's got a good head on her shoulders now, so I think she'll want to fess up and clear her conscience. All we should have to do is get her to see that she really wants to do the right thing."
"I'm not sure, Dad," Mitchell replied. "Claire's really stubborn. If she's held onto this thing for this long, it's going to be tough to get her to all of a sudden confess."
"Well, clearly it's been on her mind," Jay reasoned, "so since she's already thinking about it, it might be easier to convince her to get it off her chest."
"Well, we won't find out until we start talking to her," Mitchell concluded. "I guess we'll just have to wing it, see what she says and try to respond in a way that gets to her."
"Yeah, I guess," Jay agreed.
"Not sure how Mitchell felt," Jay reflects, "but I thought this was a long shot. How were we going to get Claire to reveal the darkest secret of her life? No way was it going to be easy, and I hoped Mitchell knew what he was in for."
"We finally pulled up to Claire's house," Mitchell says, "and I felt a jumble of nerves. I had barely had time to process this myself, and now I had to convince her to do something I was positive she wasn't ready to do." Mitchell cracks his jaw. "I don't think I was ready to discuss this, and I'm sure Claire wasn't going to be comfortable with it either. But it was finally time for me to stop acting so petty and start acting like a supportive brother."
Claire was looking out the window and saw Jay's car pull up to the curb.
"Okay, Phil, kids!" she called out into the kitchen. They came out to the hall. "My dad's here, so you know what's going on. Phil's ordering Chinese for the four of you. Make sure you clean up after yourselves and save your leftovers. I don't want to come home to half-full boxes of smelly chicken and fried rice. Okay?"
"Don't worry, honey," Phil said, kissing her on the cheek. "Papa Bear's got this."
"All right, Phil," Claire said with a smile. Jay honked his horn.
"Coming, Dad," Claire muttered. "Bye, Phil. Bye, kids. Love you guys."
"Love you, too," the four of them said as Claire walked out the door. She hustled over to the car, afraid one of them would try to stop her for some last minute issue. She made it to the car safely and opened the side door, taking a seat in the back.
"Hmm…" Jay hummed, thinking. "Mitchell, can you and Claire switch seats?"
Mitchell was going to roll his eyes, but realized Jay wanted to be right next to his daughter.
"Sure, Dad," Mitchell said. He climbed out of the car and held the door open for Claire, who took the front seat. Mitchell shut the door and climbed into the back. The three of them buckled in, they made their way towards the interstate.
"Okay, Claire, here's the thing," Jay started, but Claire held up a hand to get him to stop.
"Let's wait 'til we get to the hill," she requested.
"Claire," Mitchell said with a sigh, "I really don't think—"
"That's fine," Jay interceded with a smile. "We'll wait to sit under the sycamore tree before we start talking about this. Okay, Mitchell?"
"Sure, Dad."
There was some silence until Jay merged onto the interstate. The hill was only two exits away, but there was some serious traffic congesting the roads.
"Damn it," Jay muttered. "Knew I shouldn't have taken the freeway during rush hour."
"It's okay, Dad," Claire reassured him, "it's moving."
"I could walk faster than this," Jay griped.
The three of them sat in silence again, crawling along the freeway at a slow but steady pace. Fortunately for them, the exits were close together, given how close they were to Los Angeles. It took maybe twenty minutes to get off the freeway, and it was only a couple minutes more to find the hill.
"When we got to the hill," Claire explains, "something looked wrong. I couldn't see the top branches of the sycamore tree. Maybe they had fallen off in a storm, maybe the top branches had been cut off, but I definitely remember being able to see the tree twenty years ago, and now I couldn't."
"We got up to the top of the hill," Jay tells me, "and we saw that the tree was completely gone. Nothing but grass and the smoggy L.A. sky. Not exactly the serene place I wanted to have this conversation, but I guess we had to make do."
"Dad, the tree's gone," Claire said sorrowfully. Mitchell rubbed her back, but Jay looked irked.
"Why the hell would they take down that tree?" he grumbled. "That tree was beautiful."
"Maybe because Cam wasn't perched on top of it in his 'Cats' costume," Mitchell suggested, reflecting on one of their more interesting stories.
"Whatever, it's fine," Claire said haughtily. "We'll just sit here, where we can see the houses."
The three Pritchetts sat down on the very top of the hill, looking at the seemingly endless rows of houses making up the L.A. suburbs. The skyline of Los Angeles could be seen in the distance, but the smog was obscuring it.
"Okay, before you two start laying into me," Claire said defensively, "I just want to say that it's been really hard living with this secret, and I don't think you two understand how overwhelming the guilt has been."
"Claire, I told you this already," Mitchell responded. "I had a dark secret, too. But when I finally came out of the closet, all that guilt went away. Yes, there was some heartache to be had, as I'm sure you remember."
"Especially from me," Jay said abashedly.
Mitchell sighed. "Yes, especially from Dad. But the most important thing was I was finally free to live my life without this overwhelming secret haunting me day in and day out."
"I get that, Mitchell, I really do," Claire responded, pushing her bangs behind her ears, "but your secret didn't have the potential to ruin a marriage. This isn't just about me feeling guilty. I have a family to protect, a family that loves me, a family that might not forgive me for building it on a lie."
"Look at it this way," Jay suggested, reaching out and putting a hand on Claire's shoulder. "If Phil really loves you, and God I know he does, he'll find a way to forgive you."
"Yeah, right," Claire snapped.
"No, no, listen. Forget how I feel about the man, there's no doubt in my mind that he's absolutely crazy about you, and he loves you now as much as he did when you first met, maybe even more so now. If you can tell the truth, and he finds it in his heart to stick by you, your marriage is absolutely sure to survive everything. You have a lot to gain taking this risk."
"Sure, Dad," Claire acknowledged, "but what do I have to lose? My whole family might walk out on me. Hell, they might throw me out of the house while Phil readies the divorce papers."
"Now, Claire, we've got a guy here who knows something about divorce," Jay said jocularly. "Yeah, splitting off from DeDe was hell for a while, and it put you and Mitchell at odds. But we've managed to work out our issues and stay together as a family. I'm a lot closer to my grandkids than most granddads are, divorced or otherwise, and a lot closer to my kids than most divorced dads. Phil? Who knows, maybe you won't be able to reconcile with him. But you're not going to lose those kids. Haley, Alex, Luke, they'll love you no matter what."
"Sure, Dad," Claire said, "because Mitchell and I love Mom so much. I mean, what was she doing? Sleeping around with some guys. Big deal, that happens all the time."
"I wouldn't say that," Jay warned her. "That's not exactly a small thing."
"Well, compare that to cheating on your future husband, getting pregnant, and not knowing if it's his child but pretending that it is. It's the whole reason we married, Dad!"
"Hold on, Claire," Mitchell interjected. "What do you mean 'the whole reason?' Don't you love Phil? Didn't that factor in to your decision to marry him?"
"Well, yeah, of course," Claire said with an exasperated smile. "Of course I love Phil."
"Can I really say that?" Claire asks in retrospect. "I mean, I wasn't crazy about Phil like he was with me. He wasn't enough to stop me dating James…er, Professor Cooke, at least until the pregnancy scare. That rushed Phil and I into marriage, and over the years I sort of learned to love him." Claire gasps, shaking her head. "How can I even say that? That's terrible. Of course I love my husband. Of course I do…" She stares me down and starts whispering. "But sometimes, there's this little voice deep down that says 'what if?' What if Phil and I hadn't been rushed into getting married? Would we have lasted? Would I have moved on and found someone else? It makes me wonder, did I end up settling? God, I'm such a bitch." Claire looks as though she's on the verge of tears. "What am I doing…?"
"Claire, no one doubts that you love Phil," Mitchell assured her. "But we understand the situation. Maybe you got married before you were ready. Maybe you wondered if he was the right guy or if he was the guy you had to marry because he was the father of your child. If he's the father of your child," he added, recalling the dilemma. "Claire, there's one thing that doesn't make sense to me. Why didn't you get a paternity test? I mean, that would require you had to blow this whole thing open as soon as it happened, but you would have known for sure and you wouldn't have had to hold onto this secret for all these years."
"I know exactly how to answer that," Claire said sternly, taking Mitchell a bit aback. "James…Professor Cooke, he was intriguing, exciting. I felt like I was being swept off my feet. But what we were doing was reckless and unethical. Could you imagine what would have happened if I was carrying his baby? He would have been fired, I might have gotten kicked out of school, and I would have had to raise a child with a man who, despite my feelings towards him, I did not want to be the father of my child.
"Phil was different. Kind, affectionate, a good head on his shoulders. He had all the makings of a good father, and I realized that that's who I wanted to raise my baby, our baby, even if it wasn't his by blood. I just couldn't risk finding out that maybe Professor Cooke was the father, or I would have ended up raising a baby with a man I did not trust with kids.
"So of course I said it was Phil's, and everything else followed. I didn't mean for the last-minute elopement. I didn't mean to hold onto this lie for all these years. So I buried it, I locked it away in a little box inside my head and hoped to God it would never come out."
The air seemed still as Claire finished speaking. She looked back and forth at Mitchell and Jay, who were looking at her as if seeing her for the first time.
"God, I had no idea," Mitchell says, "but it makes sense to me now. I knew who Professor Cooke was, and I could see why Claire was enamored with him, but he screamed bad father to me. Phil, on the other hand, looked like great father material, at least compared to Cooke. But one thing still didn't make sense."
"Claire, why didn't you just tell Phil the story?" Mitchell asked. "You could have told him that you made a mistake, you were seeing two guys at once, and either of them might be the father."
"Yeah, great," Claire jibed, "that would have blown over well."
"Let me finish," Mitchell requested. "But what if you told Phil you hated this other guy, didn't trust him to raise your baby, and that you trusted Phil with your child far more than you would anyone else. Don't you think that might have touched him, even just a little bit? Most fathers don't have a choice, they raise the kids they helped create. But you were giving Phil a choice to love your daughter, not because he was necessarily her father by blood, but because he loved you and loved that little baby kicking inside of you. Don't you think that might have touched him, even a little bit, maybe enough for him to forgive you?"
"Mitchell almost had a point," Claire says, "but hindsight's always twenty-twenty. I can't go back and change the decision I made, so while I know he and Dad were trying to help, they weren't addressing the actual problem, and I had to remind them of that."
"Mitchell," Claire said, "that's touching and all, but that doesn't help me in the here and now. Right now, I know why you guys are here. You're trying to convince me to confess to Phil, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it."
"Okay, Claire, come on now," Jay said gruffly. "You've pulled the wool over his eyes for twenty years. You know it's got to stop at some point. If you're worried about what the kids will think, don't tell them right away. Work it out with Phil, and then decide if you want to explain to your kids, especially Haley."
"Haley…" Claire reflects. "I can't even imagine how she'll feel if she finds out. So, Jay had a point. It was best not to get the kids involved before they were ready. So now that we were focused on telling just one person instead of four, the decision was starting to become at least a little easier."
"Okay, okay," Claire said. "I know Phil deserves the truth, even if the kids aren't ready to hear it yet. And I agree, I think it's time to finally tell him and put this behind me, behind us. But what do I say?"
"Claire," Jay said, patting her on the back. "You've been with your husband twenty years. You know how to communicate, far better than your parents did. You'll know what to do when the time comes."
"That's not very helpful," Claire said honestly.
"What about what I said?" Mitchell asked. "About how you trusted Phil as a father and didn't want this other sleaze to even have a chance to claim your son as his own. I know, it's not perfect, but it at least explains the situation somewhat and shows that you trust Phil as a father and as a husband. I'll admit, it still might not blow over well, but with time, hopefully the reasons behind your decision will make sense to him, and he'll find a way to forgive you."
"God, Mitchell, I don't know…" Claire moaned.
"I'll admit, I was feeling a little ambushed," Claire explains. "My father and my brother, both on my back to do something I've been avoiding for so long. It was frightening. But then my dad said something that made me change my entire outlook."
"Claire, I'm going to tell you something about my own father," Jay said, and Claire and Mitchell locked eyes on him, jaw gaping. "He…wasn't exactly the most sensitive type. Quite the opposite, actually, I've got scars on my back to prove it. He was the one that pushed me into Vietnam with me kicking and screaming, begging not to enlist. Once the draft got you, though, you didn't have a choice.
"So I'm in 'Nam and our platoon gets ambushed by the Cong. I made it out with a few scratches on my shoulder, but our medic, Paulie, he got shot in the stomach. We did everything we could to stop the bleeding, get him to the med camp, but he died before we could reach it in time. Thank God that was the worst thing that happened there.
"So, when my service is over and I return to the States, I'm driving home hoping for a 'welcome home, son,' or an 'I'm proud of you' from my dad. Instead he bitched me out about how I should have saved Paulie's life, how he didn't raise a son that would leave a man behind. I told him we did everything we could, and he punched me square in the jaw and told me I was a disgusting excuse for a son.
"Mom was screaming after me and slapping Dad in the chest as I left. I went down to the bar to order a stiff drink, and I met a woman there who would end up being your mother, but that's not the point of the story.
"My point is, my biological father was a complete asshole, and you and Phil have such a great family in comparison, and you can't let your past mistakes ruin what has become a beautiful family."
"I never talk about my father," Jay explains. "Never. He was never a part of my kids' lives. They've met him once or twice, but they don't really know who Grandpa Luke is, and I made sure it stayed that way. So when I gave Claire that little bit of information, I hoped it would get her to see how lucky she is to have a wonderful father raising her children, and that she could share that gratitude with Phil, even if she took it for granted in the past."
Claire was almost in tears as Jay wrapped up his story. Mitchell sighed and looked off at the buildings in the distance.
"Could you come with me and tell Phil that story?" Claire asked tentatively.
Jay scowled. "No way in hell am I telling Phil anything about my father, and no way I want you to mention it to anyone. Just tell him how lucky you are to have such a wonderful man in your life, how stupid you were not to see it sooner, and that you promise to remain his faithful wife as you always have since you two have been married. And if that doesn't get through his thick skull, then you can give me a call." He winked at Claire. Claire chuckled heartily, strangely elated and feeling relieved. Mitchell continued to stare off in the distance.
"Thanks, Dad," Claire said, hugging Jay. "I'm ready enough to tell Phil now, I think. No guarantees though."
"Just buck up and do it, kid," Jay said, "and you'll take whatever comes from it. You're a tough girl, and you've got all the support in the world if things turn south.
"Okay!" he called, mainly for Mitchell's sake, who appeared to have spaced out. "We're going out to eat, Claire's choice. We're going to forget all about this conversation, have a good time, and then Claire can take care of her business tonight, or whenever she feels comfortable."
"No, no," Claire said. "It should be tonight. I can't bear to hold onto it any longer."
"As long as you're ready," Jay said. "Mitchell?"
"Hmm? Oh, sorry," he said, lifting himself off the grass. "Whenever it feels right, Claire. You'll know when it's time."
"Thank you, Mitchell," Claire said. "If I don't do it tonight, I'm afraid I'll never do it, so wish me luck."
"You sure you can handle this dinner?" Mitchell asked. "You look antsy, like you want to tell him right this minute."
"Maybe too antsy," Claire reasoned. "It might be better to let the idea settle over a good meal before going back home and talking to Phil."
"Fair enough," Jay said. "Now, let's go! Traffic should've eased up by now, so it won't be long 'til we find some good grub."
The three Pritchetts made their way down the hill and back towards their car.
"I never knew anything about my grandfather," Mitchell says, "and I'm glad I didn't. He sounded like a complete asshole. I have no idea how he would have reacted to having a gay grandson. He had passed away before I came out, and I guess I'm lucky it happened that way so it didn't cause a huge fight in the family. Dad's reaction was bad enough as it is, I can't imagine how Grandpa Luke would've dealt with it."
"Dinner was delicious," Claire said, "and I took that as a good sign. Still, when Jay dropped me off, it was late and the kids were in bed, so there was nothing left to do but join Phil in the bedroom and let the bomb drop. Now that the moment was on me, my heart was pounding, and my mind was screaming for me to run out of the house and never see him again. I realized that was crazy, took a deep breath, and entered the room."
"Claire! There you are," Phil said, giving her a soft kiss. He was already dressed for bed. Claire quickly found her nightgown and changed clothes. The two of them tucked under the covers, facing each other. In the dark, Phil didn't notice the look of fear on Claire's face.
"How was dinner?" Phil asked.
"Oh, good, good," Claire muttered halfheartedly. It was her tone of voice that caught Phil's attention.
"Did something happen?" Phil asked. Claire nodded, and tears were already starting to fall.
"What happened, babe?" he asked. "It was just dinner with your folks. Did you have a blowout or something?"
"No, Phil, this is…this is worse," Claire said. God Claire, don't drag it out like this! she screamed at herself.
"How bad is it?" Phil asked, his voice betraying a level of panic Claire rarely heard. It only made her feel more upset.
"Phil, there's something I have to tell you…"
"I kind of got that already. What is it?"
"It happened a long time ago, but I want you to know that I love you and I always will—"
"Now I get it. You're cheating on me," Phil said sourly. "Great! That's just great! I knew you'd get bored with me and go off to find some excitement with some other guy."
"Phil, be quiet! You'll wake the kids!" Claire whispered harshly. "And it's not what you think. This was before we were married, and I never saw the scumbag since."
"That was a bit untrue, given that college reunion," Claire explains, "but I didn't want to confuse Phil any worse than he already was. And now I was making it a huge deal and I just wanted to say it so it would be out there and Phil would stop panicking wondering what it was."
"Okay, okay," Phil said, beginning to calm down. "So you weren't sure about us, you were messing around with some other guy, maybe experimenting, and you chose me and kicked that guy to the curb. I guess," he took a deep breath, "that's not really okay, but it could be worse."
Claire cringed. "It is worse."
"What?" Phil shouted. Claire shushed him quickly. "Sorry. What?" he asked more softly. "Claire, you're freaking me out. Can you just tell me what you have to say so we can deal with this?"
"Okay, okay!" Claire snipped. "We were having sex while I was having sex with you—"
"Oh my God."
"—and there was some overlap right around the time I got pregnant for the first time."
Phil felt a lead weight drop in his stomach. "So you're saying—"
"Yes, I'm saying this," Claire said, ready to finally rip off that Band Aid. "There's a possibility that you're not Haley's biological father."
End of Chapter 04
