Chapter Four

"Do it or you're sacked," Kingsley Shacklebolt said bluntly.

"But, sir! He's unbearable to be around! Aren't married couples supposed to like each other's company? It won't be believable."

"I'm going to have to introduce you to my wife one day, Ackerley," Shacklebolt remarked, raising an eyebrow. "All you have to do is act potentially in love with Potter in public. You don't have to look at him when you're not around anyone, if you want. The point is to protect the boy, not to like him. Now stop being such a child and get out there and date Harry Potter!" Leopold stared at Shacklebolt for a moment, not quite ready to give up this argument.

"Now this sacking, you spoke of. Would it prevent me from getting another job? For example, the Department of International Magical Cooperation?"

"I will personally make sure you never work in this ministry ever again."

"I suppose I could move to America and see what all the fuss is about."

"ANY MINISTRY! You will be doomed to a life of vagrancy."

"I hear cardboard boxes are quite comfortable once you personalize them."

"You are testing my patience, Ackerley. It's a simple job that won't involve any extraneous use of your magical abilities and it won't influence the regular missions I send you on. It's not as though I'm asking you to fall in love with Potter. It just needs to be believable enough to stop the lovelorn women from almost taking his life every time they send him a gift. Just think about how much he'll owe you when all this is done. And perhaps you'll become good friends."

"Highly unlikely," Leopold pouted. He liked having a job, a flat, and a full Gringotts vault too much to quit and it seemed that Shacklebolt, in his own twisted way, was relying on him. He was stuck, apparently, marrying Harry Potter. "But it appears that nothing can convince you to ask someone else to do the job."

"Everyone else has a history with Potter, whether hating him or being friends with him. You're the least conspicuous."

"I liked it better when you were saying I'm good looking, sir." Shacklebolt smirked, leaning back in his chair and glaring down at Leopold. "Fine, then, fine. How long before we're to announce the engagement?"

"I'd say two weeks. Kids these days are always rushing into marriage." Shacklebolt shook his head mourning all the young lovers in the world who rushed themselves to an early grave. "That's why so many end in divorce."

"That and being forced to marry someone of the same gender for work purposes."

"Well, how commonly does that happen?"

"More than I'd like it to."

"You know, a good way to start this relationship is by asking Potter out to dinner. Publicly." Leopold's mouth dropped open involuntarily. "Is there a problem?"

"I—what—I—uh—no. No problem. Sir. Do you have a dinner recommendation, as well?" Leopold was hard pressed to keep the immense amount of sarcasm out of his tone. Shacklebolt was enjoying this way too much. The more uncomfortable Leopold became, the wider the smile on Shacklebolt's face grew.

"Hm. Let me think on that and get back to you. I wonder if Madam Puddifoot's serves dinner."

"Sir, I realize the Killing Curse is illegal, but they cannot arrest me if I use it on myself."

"Honestly, Ackerley, you're making this more difficult than it needs to be. Now, I think Potter is on a case right now with the other trainees, the perfect opportunity to invite him out to eat."

"In front of my co-workers, sir? Seriously?"

"Go, Ackerley." Leopold sighed, stood up, turned on the spot and apparated to where he knew the trainees where congregated. They all looked at him when he arrived, some surprised, others reverent as though the addition of another full fledged Auror was more than they could bear. They all looked so small and unsure, that is, all except Potter who was standing slightly off to the side with his hands in his pockets, a small smile playing across his face as he watched Leopold. Leopold closed his eyes in an effort to briefly block out what he was about to do, then headed over to Adrian Pucey, that day's Auror in charge. Pucey scowled slightly at the trainees before turning to Leopold.

"What's up?" He asked, tucking his clipboard under his arm.

"Did I interrupt?"

"Yes. But this lot was getting fidgety anyway. Turns out that the bench that kept chucking people off actually started by having a Concealment Charm on it that wore off. We were discussing if that classifies as Intent to Wound or Maim under the rules in the bylaws or Accidental Magical Mishaps." Pucey seemed bored with the whole situation and Leopold couldn't blame him. This was all elementary stuff that they'd gone over at least two years ago. To have to go through it again had to be a rather dull process. However, Leopold would give almost anything to change places with Pucey at that moment.

"Well, that is quite a difficult decision," Leopold said carefully. The younger looking of the trainees seemed pleased with themselves as though proud that they appeared to have stumped a fully qualified and licensed Auror. "And what conclusion have you arrived at?"

"None, yet. No one can seem to agree."

"We believe, sir, that the end result of the spell matters the most since many people have been injured due to this bench," a tall, blonde girl said boldly, eyeing Leopold with interest. Leopold did like them tall and blonde. And bold. And female. The corners of Leopold's mouth curled upward involuntarily until he realized what he was doing and looked away from the girl before he asked her out instead of Potter.

"We believe that the original intent of the charm was to conceal the bench, not to cause harm to people, and as such, the incident should be treated as an accident," a shorter, red haired girl contradicted, raising an eyebrow at Leopold. Redheads were irresistible as well. They were all fiery and defiant. He did like them fiery and defiant. Leopold again had to stop himself from winking at her and asking her to accompany him and the blonde girl to the Leaky after work.

"Any ideas, Ackerley?" Pucey asked, amusement and boredom in his tone. Leopold sighed as though thinking great thoughts. Really, this was one of the lamest cases they could have put the trainees on. If they actually wanted the kids to learn something, to really understand what it was like to be an Auror, then they should put them on cases involving Dark Magic and vampires. Really glorify the Auror profession so that if and when they were chosen, they'd realize that 99 of the time Aurors sat in their cubicles writing reports. Set them up for a great disappointment that way they'd get used to it at an early age.

"Well, it's hard to determine, isn't it? Without knowing who cast the charm and why, you really can't say if he or she knew the charm would end up chucking people into the road or if he or she thought the bench would stay hidden. And then you need to ask yourself, why hide the bench on the first place? Was there already a jinx on the bench and a weak concealment charm was put on there to fool Auror trainees into thinking it wore off resulting in a rogue bench?" Potter sniggered at this and a few of the female students cleared their throats and pointedly looked away from him, color rising in their cheeks. "And finally, you need to wonder about the location. This being a highly concentrated muggle village, was the intent to harm muggles specifically or just anyone who happened to want to rest his feet?" Leopold looked around to make sure they weren't being watched, then pulled out his wand and pointed it at the bench. It shuddered briefly and went still. Many of the trainees were looking at him as though they couldn't believe the power of his deductive reasoning.

"Anyone brave enough to take a seat?" Leopold wondered, glancing at the students. No one answered, a few even stepped back. "How about you, Harry Potter?" Potter's head snapped up at the mention of his name, and he gave Leopold a deeply hate-filled look before stepping forward and slowly sitting down on the bench. Potter couldn't hide the relief on his face that appeared when nothing happened. "I'm offended at your mistrust of my magical abilities. I should give you all homework." Pucey snorted, waving the trainees away.

"All right, we're done for today. Head back to the department and do whatever it is they have you do before you leave for the day." Pucey tossed his clipboard into the air where it vanished. He turned to Leopold as the trainees began to apparate, but Leopold was making his way to Potter, his stomach clenching horribly with every step he took. Potter was still sitting on the bench gazing up at Leopold with an irritated yet bemused look on his face. The remaining trainees stopped what they were doing to watch the scene with fascination.

"Potter, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Er, well I have no plans at the moment. Why?"

"Would you…like to…grab a…drink with me at the Three Broomsticks?" Leopold had to practically pry his teeth apart in order to complete the sentence. He could feel Pucey's eyes on his back and he wanted to apparate to the Antarctic, never to be seen again.

"Ah, um—" Potter hesitated. Leopold could see the small smile he was keeping at bay. Leopold wanted to hit him, a desire which must have reflected in his face, for Potter cleared his throat and nodded. "Sure thing, I'd be glad to." Leopold didn't thank him, he merely walked away from the green eyed braggart back to were Pucey was standing, watching them with his eyebrows arched so high they disappeared into his hairline. Leopold heard the crack of Potter and the others apparating behind him.

"Well, ah, Ackerley. I didn't know you were so inclined." Pucey looked as though he were trying very hard not to burst into a fit of laughter.

"Shut up, Pucey."

"And Potter; you aim low, don't you?"

"Shut up, Pucey."

"Here I was thinking you wanted to teach the class something, but really you were looking for a date."

"The fact that you have yet to shut up shocks and amazes me."

"Is this the mission Shacklebolt gave you? The oh so important task that only you could complete?" Pucey didn't hide his laughter this time; he was doubled over, absolutely consumed by his amusement. Leopold crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the other man to finish. "Shacklebolt is an evil genius."

"Evil doesn't begin to describe him."

"Why did he pick you? Why didn't he at least choose someone whose preferences were apt to sway in that direction? Like Summers."

"That's a question for Shacklebolt. I can't say I know how his twisted mind works."

"Well that's some bad luck, that is. I'd hate to be tied to Potter for a prolonged period of time."

"Too bad the millions of women everywhere who are stalking him don't feel the same way. I wouldn't be in this situation if they did." Pucey shook his head looking no less amused but slightly more sympathetic.

"I'm sorry for your misfortune, mate. We'll be thinking of you during poker night." Leopold rolled his eyes. "Not too much, though. Maybe we'll just take a shot of firewhiskey in your name."

"Hm. I appreciate it. Only true friends care enough to enjoy themselves while you're being tortured."

"The truest."