Author's Note: The Wrex Effect is a drabble set of conversations that take place on the Citadel after the Noveria missions. In the Rose Shepard timeline, it comes after and refers to The Fan, Catching the Past, Driving Miss Liara, and Elevator Muzak.
Yes, I am milking the whole Conrad Verner thing as a plot, but frankly, the guy creeps me out.
The Citadel
Zakera Ward
Outside the Lower Market stairwell
Wrex rumbled a sub-bass note of annoyance that rattled the chestplate of his Colossus armor as the shore party approached the lower market stairs. "Hey, where's that human I keep hearing about? The blond pyjak shitslinger?"
Kaidan glanced around, automatically noting that the commander had gotten ahead of him and Wrex. "Conrad Verner? I don't see him. I guess Shepard must have set him straight the last time we came through."
"She shoot him?"
Kaidan almost smiled at the thought. "No. Sent him home to his wife instead of letting him talk her into making him a Spectre."
The big krogan snorted. "Ah, some human will end up following Shepard into the Spectres, but it'll be someone who can keep up with her, not some pyjak like that." Wrex let out a sigh that sounded like a cross between a bass train whistle and a dinosaur yawn. "Just my luck. First you keep me on the ship and out of the fun on Noveria, and now I don't even get to run the Verner Protocol? I swear, the universe hates me."
Shepard paused halfway down the stairs and turned around to laser Kaidan with a glare. "Wrex knows about the Verner Protocol? What the hell, Alenko, are you and Williams running seminars on the lower deck or something?"
The lieutenant scratched the back of his neck, looking a little embarassed. "Well..."
Wrex snorted. "Hey, don't blame Alenko, Shepard. It was Liara's idea."
That made Shepard blink. "Liara? Doctor Liara "by the Goddess" T'soni? The one who can't stand my driving?"
"Yep, the very same. And you can't blame her for that, Shepard. Your driving would bust the nerves of anyone but a krogan. Not sure how Alenko here handles it. You sure you don't have any krogan in you, boy?" Wrex eyed Kaidan thoughtfully. "Nah. Too puny. Anyway, Liara was telling Tali about the Rules of Shore Leave with the Commander." Wrex scratched his chin. "Pretty sure she had an omnitool presentation set up, too. I invited myself to the party." He shrugged. "Nobody said no."
Shepard blinked again. Kaidan almost grinned. "An omnitool presentation? To Tali."
"Yeah. Well, not just to Tali. Williams and Garrus were there, too. They were talking about defensible positions and chokepoints when I left. Y'know, for a human, Williams has a pretty good grasp of how to fight. Not as good as a krogan, of course, but decent." Wrex grinned. "Heh. They were talking about joint tactics. Tactics. Bah. Tactics are for people without redundant systems."
"Please tell me Garrus wasn't picking out sniper positions."
Wrex closed one red eye in thought. "Think his favorite was right over there by the turian merchant. You know, the one who likes to screw with humans? Y'know, Shepard, for a stick in the ass turian, Garrus isn't so bad. He was talking about how easy a headshot would be at that range. Williams was promising to hold the target still for him, even if she had to tackle him." Wrex made a thoughtful rumble that sounded like distant thunder. "I thought that girl didn't like anyone who wasn't her own kind. Heh. Guess she's not so bad once you get to know her. Real devoted to her family. I can respect that."
Shepard closed her eyes for a long, long moment, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Kaidan wondered if she was hiding a smile at the thought of Ashley and the alien crewmembers bonding over Conrad Verner, or if she were trying to ward off the mental images of Garrus setting up to snipe an unarmed civilian. "I'm the commander of the SSV Crazy."
Kaidan cleared his throat. "You know you wouldn't have it any other way, Commander."
Shepard scowled at him. "You're real annoying when you're right, lieutenant."
"Aye-aye, ma'am."
"Hey. Are we gonna go see Morlan about those medical supplies or what?" Wrex stumped his way past Shepard and down the stairs. "Maybe this guy blackmailing that doctor from the clinic will give me a fight. I need to punch something."
"Yeah, Wrex." Shepard sighed, following him. "Me, too."
