John woke up to see the credits of the movie they were watching scroll by. He had fallen asleep on Karkat's shoulder, and at some point he and Dave had started holding hands. He sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked at the time from the clock on the wall; 12:34 AM. He stood up, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder. Dave woke up with a start and stared at John, smiling slightly through his shades. "Come on, we need to go to bed..." He glanced at Karkat and shook his head; it was never a good idea to wake up Karkat. He grabbed Dave's hand, earning a smile from the other as he dragged him out of the room.
~Raeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
When Karkat finally woke up, it was well into the day. He swore and started to get ready for the day. He checked the clock on the wall. He was late! He rushed out the door without even saying anything to John and went off to work.
John woke up about an hour later, wondering around the quiet house looking for something to do. He tidied up here and there, and by noon he had nothing to do, so he returned to his room. He opened his laptop, sitting at his desk and opened his Pesterchum. The only one on was his friend Jade, so he decided to pester her.
ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 12:08 –
EB: hey Jade!
GG: Hey John! :D
EB: whats up?
GG: oh not much, just watching movies, what about you?
EB: I have nothing to do! Im sooooooooo bored DX
GG: hehehe well you wont be bored for long.
EB:...why?
GG: ooohhh, youll know soon enough ;)
gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:10 –
John shut his laptop, pondering over what Jade had said. He sat on his bed, pulling out the scissors from yesterday. Just as he was about to cut his thigh again, he heard a ping! From his laptop. He moved back to his desk and opened his laptop to see who was pestering him.
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:14 –
TG: Hey John
TG: you there?
TG: yo
TG: Egbert
EB: Im here!
EB: whats up?
TG: Im going to be a little late from work today
TG: will you be okay on your own a little while longer?
EB: yeah ill be fine
EB: thanks for telling me
TG: later
EB: see ya
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:16 –
John sat there staring at the chat for a few minutes before he heard the door slam and a string of curses filled the house. John got up off the bed and went to the front of the house. He saw Karkat and walked up to greet him. "Hey Karkat. So I was looking through the kitchen for something to make for dinner tonight and I need to go to the store! What do you feel like having tonight? Dave said he's going to be late coming home so it looks like it might just be you and me." Karkat grimaced at him and replied, "I don't care, whatever the fuck you feel like cooking."
Karkat pushed past John and his smile was instantly replaced by a frown. "Okay," He said quietly, "I'm going to head to the store now." He grabbed the keys and headed out the door before Karkat could say anything. He sat staring at the door before he turned around and headed for John's room, something was up, and he was determined to find out what.
~Raeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
John walked through the store quietly, thinking to himself. As he walked, he got some stuff for dinner and grabbed some gushers. Never forget the gushers. He told himself. He went to the checkout and the cashier smiled at him. He smiled back, but it was fake. It seemed she could tell because she looked him in the eyes and said, "What's wrong?" John was just about to speak when she interrupted. "Oh I hope that wasn't nosy! I'm sorry!" John laughed, "No, you're okay. I've just been... Stressed lately... Is all." She sighed lightly and continued ringing him up. "Oh is that so? I'm sorry. Hopefully things get better for you sir. Remember, don't let them take away your sparkle~! That'll be $20.18." John blinked before responding an intelligent, "huh?" She laughed, "$20.18 please." John dug a hand into his pocket, blushing slightly as he handed her the exact change. "Thank you, have a nice day~." John nodded and walked back out in the heat to his car.
The drive back was uneventful, and he was back in his home's driveway in what seemed like seconds. He took the groceries inside and was surprised to find the place completely silent as he shut the door behind him, shouting, "I'm home!" He made his way to the kitchen and set down the groceries and knocked on Karkat's door. "Yo Karkat, you there?" John's door was open a crack and he heard, "In here."
John opened his door to find Karkat looking through his room. He swallowed and wondered if Karkat found his secret. "What are you d-doing in my room Karkat?" Karkat pretended not to hear the stutter and looked up at John. "I was trying to find some semblance of what's up with you, since you won't tell anyone." He gave John a leveled stare and walked up to him. "Why won't you fucking tell me or Dave what's up? We know you're not okay so don't fucking lie again." John backed up and his back hit the wall. "I- I'm just a little stressed, that's all, I swear." He looked off somewhere, anywhere but at Karkat. "I got the groceries, so I... I'm going to go make dinner." He tried to smile but it came off too weak. He hurried out of the room and Karkat went back to his room, slamming the door behind him and making John cringe as he passed by.
John walked back into the kitchen, grabbing pots and pans so he could start dinner. Suddenly he heard swearing and loud crashes from Karkat's room and he hurried over to see what happened. He opened the door to find Karkat in the middle of his floor crying, surrounded by pieces of broken figures and glass. John carefully made his way into the room, watching every step because he was barefoot. Finally he made it to the crying troll and he put a hand on his shoulder. "Karkat? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Karkat quickly spun around and swatted his hand away. "HOW DARE YOU!" John backed up quickly, not watching where he was going as a piece of glass sank into his heel and he grimaced. "W-what?" he asked timidly. Karkat let out a noise that sounded halfway between a laugh and a cry. "YOU DON'T TRUST US! YOU DON'T TRUST ME! WHY DO I EVEN TRY? YOU'LL NEVER TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG! SO WHY SHOULD I CARE? BUT FOR SOME REASONG I DO! AND I DON'T-" He stood up, "KNOW-" He took a step forward, and John took a step back. "WHY!" He punched the wall next to him and sunk to his knees, hiding his crying face in his hands.
John slowly got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around Karkat. Karkat buried his face in John's shirt a sobs wracked his body and he started muttering barely coherent "why"s. John gently stroked his back, rocking back and forth slightly. "I'm sorry." John said quietly into his ear. "I'm sorry." John started rocking, rubbing circles in Karkat's back and muttering reassurances in his ear. Karkat put his hands on John's chest, hitting him with soft punches as he cried, "Why can't you trust us? You fuckass! We just want you to be happy!" John closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Karkat... I'm trying but... I can't seem to be happy anymore."
Once Karkat had settled down, John convinced him to go to bed. Once the troll was asleep, he snuck back into his room and sat on his bed. He pulled out his scissors. See what you did? You made Karkat cry. You're such an ass to everyone, you don't deserve them. He cut. You even killed your dad, you idiot. If only you hadn't played that game, then everyone would be okay. Your dad, Rose's mom, Dave's bro. They'd be alive. They'd be much happier. He cut. Now they're starting to realize it too. They hate you for getting their families killed. You're useless, no one wants you. He cut deeper. He set down the scissors and curled up on his bed, tears stinging in his eyes.
He lay there on his bed, crying for what felt like hours until he fell asleep. His dreams were plagued by nightmares of Dave and Karkat screaming at him, telling him they hated him, that everything was his fault. Suddenly Rose and Jade showed up, crying about how the ones they loved the most were gone, and John's heart ached for them. He tried to reach out and comfort them, but they turned on him and joined Karkat and Dave in torturing him. He writhed on his bed, getting tangled in his blanket. He cried out to his friends, trying to apologize, but every time he said something they only became louder.
Suddenly the floor caved in on him, and the darkness swallowed him. A spotlight turned on, illuminating a figure in the distance. With better focus John realized it was his dad, and a smile broke out on his face. His dad stepped closer, and John became aware of the scowl on his face. Suddenly he became cold, and he tried to back away from his dad, but something had a hold of his limbs, and he couldn't move. He tried to cry out but nothing made it past his lips. His father walked up to him, his features sharply defined by the light shining down on him. "It's your fault I'm dead. You just had to play that game, didn't you. If only you had refused. We would still be alive and I would be making cakes and talking to my colleagues. We could be happy. We could be home, not in some strange universe with these... Aliens. It's all your fault." By this point tears were flooding down John's face and he tried to block out what his dad was saying. Out of nowhere his dad pulled out a switchblade and dug it into John's stomach. John cried out, folding in on himself and he hit the floor as whatever was holding him back disappeared. His dad was suddenly by his side, crouching down and holding the blade to his still crying face. "Let's see how you like dying." He stabbed him again. And again. And again and John couldn't do anything but beg him to stop as blood pooled on the ground.
Suddenly he heard voices, but he couldn't tell what they were saying. After a few minutes it became clear. "John! John wake up!" He felt a hand slap his wet cheek. "John!" Then there were shuffling noises and the voice became more distant as a pounding sounded through his head. "Karkat! Karkat wake up! It's John! I can't get him to wake up!" Then the voice was back, and another one tried to shout over it. "John you nook-sucking ass-stain, wake up!" All he could hear and feel was the scream of those voices and the knife entering and exiting his body as his friends sat back and watched.
Something grasped his shoulders and he panicked, trying to fight it off. "JOHN!" He sat up in his bed and opened his eyes, shaking and blindly hitting away whatever was holding him as he cried out. "Get away from me! Go away! Please stop it! You're hurting me dad! Please stop! Please!" He collapsed into the figure in front of him as sobs rendered him mute. He clung to the – newly determined – body and cried until he couldn't make a sound. He opened his eyes and pulled away, looking at the thing he was crying on. It was Dave. Dave pulled him back into the hug, rubbing circles in his back. "Ssssshhhhh. It's okay. It was just a dream. You're okay. No one is going to hurt you." More tears found there way down his face and he buried his face in Dave's chest, gripping his shirt tightly.
Suddenly John pulled away, curling in on himself. Dave tried to make him open up but his muscles had gone rigid. Dave sighed and dragged a hand through his hair, taking a few steps back from the terrified boy. Karkat sat on John's bed, putting a hand on the boy's head. John visibly jumped at the contact and went back to shaking. Karkat began to pet John's head and whisper reassurances to him, just as he had done earlier. John relaxed a little and scooted closer to Karkat. Dave, thinking John was okay, left the room to go get some sleep. Karkat slowly wrapped his hands around John, trying to get him to relax enough to open up from himself. John complied, resting his head on Karkat's lap.
Karkat continued to pet his hair, and after some time asked, "Will you tell me what the dream was about?" For a second John tensed up, and his face filled with fear. Just as fast as it happened, he relaxed. Karkat waited a minute before John responded, "It was..." His voice was quiet, fragile, as if one wrong move and he would never talk again. " It was... You, Dave, Rose, and Jade..." Karkat waited to see if he'd continue. "...Yeah?" John took a deep breath. "You were all screaming at me... You were all blaming me for what happened to us... You all hated me." At this he began to curl back in on himself slightly. Karkat glanced down at John's face, twisted in pain as he relived his nightmare. "No one wanted me anymore, no one cared. You all hated me... And my dad..." He began to choke up, tears reappearing in his eyes. Karkat noticed and started petting his hair again. "Sshhhhhh. It's okay. You don't have to tell me. It was just a dream. It's okay. You're okay... I don't hate you." John took a deep breath before continuing, scooting closer to Karkat. "My dad... He hated me too... He... He stabbed me... He wanted me to die." His voice cracked on that last word and his body shook in a silent cry. Karkat moved his hand to John's back and ran his hand up and down soothingly. As what he had said sunk in, Karkat began to feel sorry for John. That would be horrible... To be hated and killed by your family like that. He was almost glad it was a dream. The poor kid would probably be traumatized for a while.
John calmed down, looking up at Karkat and asking, "Hey Karkat,"
"Hm?"
"Can you... Sleep with me?... Please don't leave." He wrapped his arms around Karkat's waist and dug his face into his shirt. Karkat let out an inaudible sigh and laid down next to John, wrapping him up in a hug. John turned around in his arms to face Karkat and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was asleep, and Karkat laid there, watching the steady rise and fall of John's chest. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off, wishing John would rest peacefully.
