This little scene begins after the end of Season 4, Episode 4 - The Five
Elena approached the park slowly. She could see that Damon was already there, waiting for her. She was actually relieved to see him.
She had to grimace as she walked towards him, her mind returning to the previous evening when Damon had taken her home. She was surprised when Stefan interrupted them. Surely Damon knew she hadn't wanted to see his brother. It was bad enough that she couldn't really talk to him while they were with Bonnie, but to be unexpectedly interrupted by Stefan while Damon was still upset with her was intolerable. It was all she could do to keep from running after him to finish her explanation, to get him to understand.
It was hard to even look at Stefan while Damon was walking away from them, but she managed to force herself to meet his eyes as he spoke to her. She managed to answer his question without giving much away, other than what she had been trying to convey to Damon – that doing what she needed to do was hard for her. She wasn't sure if Damon had remained close enough to hear it all, to see Stefan as he 'comforted' her. She didn't want this rendezvous to turn into her having to explain to Damon what happened between her and Stefan, but she wasn't surprised that he sometimes asked her about it.
"You came," she said as Damon moved to meet her.
"Surprised?" Damon asked. They both stopped a couple of feet apart, each trying to read the other's expression.
"You know I didn't expect him to be at my house." She said, knowing her expression was pleading for his understanding. "You know I wasn't happy about him interrupting us."
"I know," Damon said. "I could see that. Still, you said the same thing you said to me – you told him that you didn't want to be like me."
Elena shook her head. "No, Damon. I didn't say anything like that – not to him or to you. I didn't mention you at all."
"But you didn't deny it," he challenged. "When I asked you directly if you didn't want to be like me, you didn't deny it."
"I was interrupted," she said quickly, not wanting him to say anymore about it. "You caught me off guard, and I …"
"You what?" He asked when she didn't finish.
She took a step towards him and almost tried to pull him into a hug, but held back. "I've had a chance to think about it, Damon. And while we were…feeding," she had to look away as if embarrassed, "nothing mattered. I had enough control to know I didn't want to hurt them – the people I was feeding on, but nothing else mattered."
"And it was awful," he said, scowling as he repeated what she had told Stefan. "I was hoping you were just keeping our ruse going with him, but you told him the truth. You let him…"
It started her when he broke off his sentence. "I was just keeping the ruse up, Damon, and it was hard at first." She shook her head at the memory. "The truth just…sort of came out."
"The truth that you don't want to be like me," he repeated, still harsher than she would like.
"The truth that I don't want to lose control of myself like that – that if I do, I don't know what I'll find when I come back to my senses again." Her eyes were pleading for understanding as they looked into his.
Damon assumed the worst, "So you'd rather be like Stefan…"
"No!" Elena interrupted again. "You tell me he's delusional, and you're right. I don't know everything he's done, but I know I don't want to do it."
Damon's face softened for the first time in what seemed to Elena like forever. His voice was gentler, though exasperated, when he said. "Then I don't know what you want. You don't want to be like Stefan and you don't want to be like me."
She pulled him into a hug now, "I want to be me, Damon. I want to be me, and I want to be with you." She relaxed a little as she felt his arms wrap around her.
"I don't know what that means," Damon whispered.
"Neither do I." she answered, moaning slightly as she felt his hand on the back of her head, "But I know you'll help me figure it out."
He backed away slightly as he moved one of his hands to her chin, gently pulling it up as he moved in to kiss her.
"I'll help you with anything," he whispered, just before pressing his lips to hers.
Elena felt her doubts and fears slip away again, something that always seemed to happen when she was alone with Damon.
