Disclaimer: I own no part of The Twilight Saga or any of its characters. All rights are reserved to the author, Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: Hey guys! I want to say thanks a bunch to everyone reading/reviewing/favoriting/following this story. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's enjoying something I wrote. I want to throw a quick shout out to Lola Cola 7's story called Sketching Desires. It's a mystery twilight fic, and it's excellent. She keeps those chapters nice and polished and the writing is phenomenal, as well. If you don't feel like searching for it, you can get to it on my favorite stories list.

I want to throw out a couple things before we start. The first is that I planned to write every other chapter from Bella's perspective, but then decided instead that I'd put a couple chapters in where her opinion would add to the story, as opposed to getting repetitive and such. I was wondering if you guys liked that idea, or if you didn't like multi-perspective stories. I could always do outtakes after I finish this story if you life that idea better. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me as long as the story still progresses the way it should. For example: I wrote this chapter originally from Bella's perspective, but then started over from Edward's and liked it better, mainly because this is Edward's story and not hers. The second is that, as of right now, I'll posting this story more frequently until I start posting more stories, and then it'll probably slow down a bit to the once a week schedule that I originally said. The only reason why I'm not doing that now is because I really see no point in that when I have a chapter finished and edited. Right now, I'm working on a one shot and sort of a drabble fic with another story in my head that doesn't have a full plot yet. Two are all human and the other is sort of alternate universe, but not really. If you read it when it's posted, you'll understand. The third thing is that these chapters are all pretty long and so is the story. I foresee this being around 30 chapters give or take, and I figured I'd just let you know what you're getting yourself into. I hope you stick around for it; I predict it to be grand (in my head, at least.) Okay, cool, thanks for reading this long ass author's note (assuming you got to this point, you did.)

Chapter Song: Black Balloon – The Kills

Chapter 4 – Hopeless

My head was buried in my pillow, feeling numb. Alice had called the nurse as soon as she saw the blood and the nurse just said it was probably an ulcer from the physical stress I had been under and that when all of my test results came in they would know exactly what was wrong. She mentioned eating something light, like soup. I was secretly glad about her easy dismissal. I didn't want any of the staff worrying over me. Actually, I wanted the exact opposite so I could go home and die in peace. It worried me only slightly how okay with my own death I was. It wasn't like I was just being melodramatic, I was dying. This isn't an unusual experience, for someone to sense their own death coming. I just wished Bella was here with me. I wanted to see her as much as I could.

"Hey, Alice?" I muttered into the soft fabric surrounding my mouth. I heard her pacing stop.

"What's wrong?" She was instantly at my side, her hand rubbing my back yet again.

I sighed, "Where's Bella? Did she get grounded because of me?"

There was a small moment of hesitation, "She actually isn't. But it wouldn't be your fault if she was anyway. Don't be ridiculous."

"Have you talked to her since yesterday?"

"No. When I drove her home Charlie was furious. He didn't know she was drinking though, thank god. She sobered up pretty fast after…well, you know. Anyway, Bella told Charlie what happened, and he looked like he was about to collapse himself. He loves you, you know."

"Yeah." I smiled a little at that. Charlie was a great guy, understanding but quiet. Bella was lucky to have him in her life. "Is she coming to see me then?" I looked over at her.

She smiled, "I think they both are."

"Ah, fuck." I groaned, a terrifying thought entering my mind.

"What? Does something hurt? Do you need me to call anyone?"

"No, no, I'm fine, Alice. Stop worrying. What happened to my car?" I was having visions of it stuck in an impound lot or sitting alone outside of that godforsaken bar. What if got stolen?

Alice saw the panic in my face, "Calm down. How do you think I took Bella home?"

I relaxed instantly, "Thank you."

"I know how fucking much you love that car."

Alice didn't leave my side all day, even though I wasn't much for conversation. I remained a lifeless lump on my bed. I was feeling…really terrible. My body was aching everywhere. I tried to just ignore it, but every now and then my neck would sting so terribly I could barely stand it. Alice chatted about unimportant things and I was happy to have her company. I was about ninety percent positive she was remaining by my side out of guilt, but I couldn't find in my body to care. I wanted the distraction she was providing.

"You should probably eat that soup now, Edward. You don't want that ulcer to get worse. Though, this is just my unprofessional opinion, but it seemed like way too much blood to be an ulcer." Alice was back to worrying and I sighed.

"I really don't feel well, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll eat, okay?" I didn't want to think about me or this thing that was happening to me. At this point, I'd do anything to get her off the topic. She proved herself helpful for the millionth time that afternoon by ordering the food for me. It came rather quickly, and I forced myself to sit up and try to eat.

"I don't want to sound like a dick, but…if I throw up again, can you not come in the bathroom? I don't really want anyone seeing that," I asked of her before taking a bite.

She deliberated for a second before answering, "Yeah, okay. But if you don't come out in five minutes I'm going in there."

"Deal." I thought it was a fair proposition and took my first bite of soup. Struck immediately by the foul taste, I started to wonder if the burger really was rotten, or if my taste buds were somehow messed up. I clenched my teeth. I couldn't even enjoy food anymore? Why the fuck couldn't I have anything, just one thing that was left unaffected? The moment my spoon slammed angrily into the bowl, Bella entered with Charlie following not far behind. I straightened up further and winced slightly and every part of me ached in protest of the movement.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you last night." Her eyes watered and she blinked furiously, smiling with obvious difficulty.

"It was my fault, really. I was calling her and leaving some pretty angry voicemails." Charlie's face turned a light shade of pink as he admitted this. "Had I known what happened, I obviously would have let her stay. So, what happened to you anyway? No one seems to know."

I lied, "I don't really know myself. I went outside and slipped, and that's all I remember, really." I didn't look at Alice directly, but I saw her eyes flicker to me in my peripheral. Bella's eyes narrowed as well. She had seen me last night. No fall could have done that much damage. Charlie didn't seem to think anything was odd about my story.

"Lucky you have Carlisle, then." His smile was bright and he had no idea how hard his words hit me and I just smiled back as convincingly as possible. I was very aware that Carlisle had not come to visit me once.

Bella moved to sit on my bed, her hands tangling with my fingers and, with a shock of anger, I realized I couldn't even do that without hurting. I sucked it up; I wasn't going to lose precious time with her just because I was being a wimp. Charlie pulled up a chair to sit next to my bed.

"What's wrong with your soup, Edward?" Bella asked.

"My stomach is weird. I have an ulcer." I really hated lying to her.

"Well, you should probably eat then." She stared at me nervously.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll be fine. I just don't feel like eating right now." At least only half of that was a lie. The company – especially Bella's – made the time go by faster, but when they all got up to leave, Charlie and Bella first, and then eventually Alice too, I found myself moping.

"Cheer up, Edward. Maybe you can be out of the hospital in time for school on Monday," she said as she stood up.

"Yeah…maybe," I muttered.

Only five minutes went by after Alice left before I saw a tall, blonde haired man enter my room. I nearly jumped out my skin before I realized it was Carlisle. I had to get a grip on myself.

He was startled by my reaction. "Are you alright?"

So now you suddenly care again? "Yeah, I'm just out of it right now."

"Okay. Look…I wanted to catch you alone today because…I needed to explain myself. And apologize. May I?" He pointed to the chair that Charlie was sitting in before. I nodded, wary. "It was wrong of me, to treat you that way; it really was. It wasn't so much you I was angry with. It was more the situation. I had almost lost my son. I just barely pulled you back to save your life and it really wore on me. I do things like that multiple times a day, Edward. But this time was different because the man lying on that table wasn't just a nameless face that would never affect my life again; it was you, my son. But instead of being grateful that you were alive, I blamed your near death on yourself. Had you been as responsible as usual, none of this ever would have happened. Regardless of whether or not that may be true, it wasn't right to put the blame on you. Which leads me into my next point: who attacked you, Edward?"

I swallowed loudly, not expecting the change in topic. "No one attacked me."

"I heard you, you know. When you woke up, you said 'She bit me.' Don't lie to me, Edward. I saw your injuries, they weren't self inflicted. You don't just fall flat on your head without trying to catch yourself and, since there's absolutely nothing wrong with your arms, I can't imagine that's what happened. I don't even know what to say about your neck."

"I don't know, Carlisle. I don't remember."

"But you remember that a woman bit you?" Carlisle narrowed his eyes, "And why would someone bite you? You weren't…hurting this woman, were you?" His voice turned to horror at the end.

My stomach dropped, "God! No! Jesus Christ! If you must know, some girl pushed me, I hit my head and started to black out and the last thing I can remember is that she bit my neck." I pointed to the two scabbed over indents.

He looked at them closer, his face twisting in confusion. "Is that what that is then? A bite? From a human? Are you sure that's what happened?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "I just told you I hit my head and was in the process of losing consciousness. No, I'm not sure." This was a lie. I remembered distinctly the way it felt when her teeth sunk into my neck. I also didn't black out until much later. Plus, I was nearly positive that woman wasn't human. Her red eyes, her expression, her strength – all of it was too strange, too abnormal.

Carlisle sighed, next to me. "Well, all of your tests came back. Everything was normal and fine. Though your blood tests were a little strange, there's nothing worrisome. Normally, they'd make you wait a few days because you have a mild concussion, but since I live with you and can make sure everything is alright, you can go home tomorrow." This surprised me. I was fine? Then why did I feel like I got hit by a bus? Why did I sense my death with every breath that I took? Why couldn't he see that nothing was fine?

My brows scrunched low over my eyes, "What's wrong with my blood?"

"I'm not a hundred percent sure. There was a very small amount of something mixed in your blood stream, but we couldn't identify it."

"It could be liquor," I muttered.

He smiled a little, despite his sour mood. "I hope you don't think I'm such a bad doctor that I can't even determine a little alcohol in someone's blood."

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe the blood transfusion was tainted."

"No, we're very cautious of where we get our blood from. If it was tainted, we would have known before we put it in you. It's your blood that's off."

"Cool," I sighed, "Do you mind if I get some sleep? I figure it's better to get as much in now before the nurses come in and start waking me up again to see if I'm alive."

He chuckled and stood, suddenly awkward. "Do you forgive me for yesterday?"

I thought for a brief second. I was upset and confused by his reaction to what had happened, but he apologized, and, despite his words, I was still very afraid of dying. How could I stay mad at him when I was very limited on time? "Of course, Carlisle, I understand why you were angry. I'm sorry I messed up." This was impossibly true. I couldn't be sorrier for breaking his trust and doing the thing that seemed to be costing me my life.

He smiled a little, his eyes still upset. "Please don't take me kicking you out seriously. I can't even believe I said that." He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing, "You're always welcome in my home. I am your godfather, you know."

This comment relieved me and I couldn't help but smile back at him, "Thank you. You're a good father. Nobodies perfect."

He nodded, glad I had forgiven him and turned to leave saying, "I'll be here in the morning to get you," over his shoulder.

I lay down, feeling lighter than I had since yesterday afternoon and thought about how long ago that seemed. With a shake of my head, I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep. When Carlisle arrived, I hadn't expected it to be so early. I was exhausted when he woke me up at five.

"I'm sorry, I have to be back here by seven and I was the only one who could check you out."

"S'fine," I mumbled, removing myself from the blankets and grabbed the clothes he handed me gratefully. I got changed as quickly as my sore limbs would allow, wincing as each piece of fabric felt like little knives stabbing my skin. Even my cashmere sweater rubbed uncomfortably across my skin. I walked out of the hospital bedroom to find my father leaning against the receptionist's desk signing some papers. He handed them to the nurse and smiled. She blushed furiously, thanking him. I shook my head; he was such a ladies' man.

"What was that about?" I asked when he walked over to me.

"Your release papers. Ready to go?" Without waiting for me to respond, he began to walk down the hall towards the elevators.

"Yeah, I think I have everything," I mumbled, still half asleep. I checked my pocket for my phone, wallet, and Zippo. I was mildly upset to find that my cigarettes were missing, but not surprised. "I don't suppose there's a chance I could get my cigarettes back is there?"

He laughed, "No way. I already threw them in the trash."

I grimaced. I could always steal one of Emmett's. We walked to the car in silence, mostly because I was too tired to concentrate on anything besides walking and the pain that accompanied it.

"Carlisle?" I asked as we headed to the black Mercedes. I would have to choose my words very carefully here.

He looked up, opening the driver's side door, and raised his eyebrows.

"You don't suppose I could have any pain killers do you?" I sat down, and he did the same, starting the car.

He pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the high way before finally answering. "Are you in pain?"

I pursed my lips, nodding. "Everything is really sore. Every time I move, my body aches like you wouldn't believe."

"That's to be expected considering you were attacked from a seemingly ravage drunk woman who managed to knock your six foot two frame over with no issue." He raised his eyebrow.

I clenched my teeth, "That's why I didn't want to tell you. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, and more than a little embarrassing."

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, I just think your inebriation could have a little something to do with the validation of your story. As for the pain killers, why don't we start with Acetaminophen and work our way up from there?" He eyed me speculatively.

"Yeah, that's fair." I didn't think simple Tylenol would do it, but I wasn't going to argue. He drove us home, filling me in on the few things I had missed. We were grounded – obviously, but he wasn't going to tell Charlie the truth about what happened, saying it wasn't his business to get involved. The entire town apparently seemed to know that I was in the hospital for exactly 29 hours and they had all apparently sent me cards and flowers. I groaned in response to this, embarrassed by being the talk of the town.

"Who told everyone?" But I knew the answer I spoke it.

"Oh, please. Who else?"

"Emmett. How did he even talk to anyone if he's grounded?"

"His phone. I guess he's been pretty friendly with Jessica Stanley lately. God knows she's a gossip."

I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat. Apparently, if she couldn't have me, she'd settle for my brother. I turned my head out the window, the conversation coming to a comfortable lull. I watched through tired eyes as the sun came up over the trees, trying futilely to break through the thick cloud cover. Forks was beautiful in a way, very green and melancholy. We pulled into the long stretch of road through the green masses that led to our huge, white house. After the car was parked in the garage, I noticed my silver Volvo parked in its place and smiled happily thinking of my sister. I wasted no time in dragging myself up the two flights of steps, marveling at how easy this was just 48 hours ago. When I opened the door to my room, my bed was waiting for me; it had never looked so inviting. I threw my clothes off down to my boxers and pulled myself into the freshly washed covers and fell asleep.


"Edward." Something shoved my arm hard. "Edward! Wake up!"

My eyes fluttered open and I found Bella's face hovering over mine with concern.

I grumbled a little before finally finding my voice. "Why are you here so early?"

Her face twisted in confusion. "What do you mean? It's five."

What? "Pm?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck." I mumbled. "Well, whatever. C'mere." I wiggled my body over to give her some room and pulled the covers back. She took her shoes off and crawled in. We stared at each other for a long moment, not saying anything. I couldn't help it. I kissed her. In that moment, staring in her face and feeling my love for her wash over every part of me, I forgot everything that happened in the past two days. I pulled her into me, crushing her tiny form into my much larger, nearly naked one. She kissed me back fervently, her fingers tracing patterns along my skin, leaving fire in its wake. Our tongues twisted gently, our noses scraping together as our lips moved. I felt my body reacting and I was pleased. At least that was left unaffected. I broke away from her, gasping quietly and kissed her all over face. She giggled.

"I can't believe my parents let you come over." I whispered against her cheek.

"I called ahead – Alice told me you guys were grounded – and Esme said that she didn't mind if I came over. She said you've been through enough in the past two days that a visit couldn't hurt." I felt her cheek lift in a smile.

"Esme always was a softy," I chuckled, my face moving towards her neck. I breathed in deeply through my nose, the tip of it grazing across her silky skin. I was struck dumb by the scent of her. She smelled amazing, better than anything I've ever smelled before. Bella had always smelled nice to me, but never like this. She was mouthwatering. "Are you wearing perfume?" I pulled the skin over her jugular into my mouth, sucking on it gently.

"Mmm," she breathed, "No, I don't think so. I got some new shampoo though."

"Well, whatever it is, it smells amazing." I whispered against her now damp skin and felt her shiver.

"You're freezing," She whispered, her hands rubbing against my arms.

"I know…I can't seem to get warm right now." My forehead on the other hand felt like it was on fire. I pressed the back of my cool hand to it, feeling the heat radiate from out of it.

"Do you have a fever?" She grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my face and replaced it with her own. "Damn, Edward. How long have you been like this?" Her hand moved to my cheek, gently rubbing the skin.

I closed my eyes under the sensation, saying, "I don't know, I've been asleep. It wasn't like this when I got home though."

"I'll go get Esme." She rushed off without waiting for me to respond and the bed felt freezing without her in it. I pulled the blankets around me and waited. I heard the door open a few minutes later and I looked up to see Bella and Esme walking through the door. Bella sat on the bed near my feet and Esme walked over to me. She was holding a glass of water and some pills in one hand and thermometer in the other. I watched her place everything except the thermometer on my night stand. She pulled the cap off.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier, Edward?" she scolded.

"I've been asleep."

"All day?" Her voice was concerned.

"Until Bella got here." I pushed myself up to lean against my head board, pulling the blankets up around my bare chest and took the thermometer from her. I stuck it under my tongue and waited.

"That's not good. What about your concussion?" She was back to scolding.

"Alice has been in here all day, checking on me," I mumbled around the device resting in my mouth. I vaguely remembered my sister shaking me awake every few hours. The thermometer beeped and I pulled it out of my mouth. It read '101.' I handed it to her and she grimaced.

"Well, alright. It's just not like you to sleep this much," She mumbled as she cleaned the tip with her shirt and replaced the cap.

I shrugged, "I didn't get much sleep in the hospital. The beds are really uncomfortable and the nurses were checking on me all night."

She nodded, "Well, you're not going to school tomorrow if this fever doesn't come down."

I sighed, "I'm fine, Esme."

"You can't go to school with a fever. I'd get an angrily worded letter from the school board complaining about how you're infecting the rest of the school." She shook her head.

"Alright, fine." I grabbed the pills off the night stand and swallowed them, drinking the water directly after. I was surprised by how thirsty I was and drained the entire cup. "Do you mind getting me some more water?" I handed her the empty glass.

"Sure." She walked into the bathroom.

I looked at Bella and smiled. Her face lit up and she leaned forward onto her hand to kiss me quickly.

"Do you feel okay besides the fever?"

No. "Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks for taking care of me sweetheart."

My mother walked back in and set the glass down on the night stand again. "I don't want you two getting too close if you're sick, Edward."

I knew what she meant and I felt color heating up my face. "Please, Esme." She chuckled and walked from the room, shutting the door behind her.

Bella giggled, and got back under the covers. "Are you going to listen to her?" Her fingers trailed down my chest, playing with the hem of my boxers. I shivered in delight.

"Do I ever?" I smirked.


A/N: Oooh, ;) So what'd you think? Are you satisfied with Carlisle's heartfelt apology? What about Edward coming home from the hospital so early? I love to here from you guys, so if you're in the mood go ahead and leave a review. Thanks!

-MWW