Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 1
"Babe you are so sexy, how come you're on your own?"
I looked at the guy in front of me, his face was distorted his lips were moving one way and the rest of his face the other way; the pills Alice had given me had definitely taken effect I was feeling light, I think if I thought about it hard enough I could float I was feeling that light. The guy had approached me at the bar just as Alice had went to the toilet, I wasn't paying much attention to him I wasn't interested. I was wrapped up in my warm little world, I felt like a little ball of light was inside of me and it had taken the darkness and lit up my whole body.
"I'm not alone, could you go away please? You're harshening my buzz."
"Baby come on, how can I leave a pretty little thing like you all alone."
He was starting to go from irritating to creepy, his hand had moved to my leg and it was running up and down my thigh, I shuddered and moved away from him standing up before giving him a look and walking away.
I walked in to the bathroom looking for Alice; she had a habit of disappearing on me.
"Allie, where the fuck are you?" There was no answer so I walked back out of the bathroom, and caught sight of her at the bar; relief flooded through me.
"There you are I've been looking for you all over, some disgusting lout was coming on to me." She laughed and I noticed the girl behind look at me funny, I ignored her and looked at Alice she was slightly drunk.
"Lighten up B, come on have another drink we'll head to somewhere more thumping in a bit."
I ordered rum and coke and sipped it at the bar while Alice danced about happily, I was happy to just stand at the bar. I wasn't sure what the time was and that made me slightly uneasy but I kept myself calm, Alice was having a good time so I tried to relax. She danced over and ordered me to down my drink, I did and ordered another the alcohol slid in to my system and I began to relax mellowing, my mind becoming hazier by the minute.
/
Alice and I were on the dance floor dancing closely together, I didn't feel comfortable there were so many bodies sliding around me. I was sweating but I don't know if that was the effect of the pills, I looked down at my arms and my skin was distorted and lumpy, my hands didn't seem their own. A pair of hands slid around my waist, and I felt someone begin to grind on my backside, my heart began to race and I struggled to move away, I looked in front of me hoping to get Alice's support but she was nowhere in sight. I pushed to get away from the arms around me but they held tight, my heart was now in my throat and my breathing was shallow. My arms had now taken on life of their own, I lifted up my hand and it slowly began to melt away in front of me; and that's where I panicked I screamed but the music was too loud I pushed away from the person holding on to me. The force made me fall to the ground and I lay there paralysed, breathing heavy my vision starting to turn black, I needed Alice I shouldn't have come out tonight I knew it.
I was picked up but by then in my panicked state I couldn't hear and my vision was still dark, I prayed it wasn't the guy 'dancing' with me, I felt myself being placed down somewhere. I slowly forced myself to calm down but it wasn't working, my heart was beating too fast and my breathing was all out of sync, I was going to pass out I knew it.
"Jasper is she okay?"
/
It was bright when I woke up, really bright. I reached over to grab my pills out the draw to ease my spinning head, god I hate partying why did I let Alice talk me in to it? I reached out and my hand met nothing, I opened my eyes. FUCK, I wasn't in my room; I wasn't even in my own bloody house! I was in someone else's bed, albeit a very comfortable and nice smelling bed but not my own. Oh god please tell me I didn't go back to that guys, fuck this is just shit.
I started panting my breathing going shallow and unsteady, shit, I needed to get out. I climbed out of bed and looked down at myself, I was in a man's shirt and boxers, they'd either undressed me or we'd had sex. The options were not looking good, I started panicking looking for my clothes, I was in that much of a rush that I didn't hear the door open till I heard a familiar voice.
"Not staying for breakfast?" I knew that voice, I spun around open mouthed looking at my old college friend Jasper Whitlock.
"You? You… brought me here? How?" He smiled sadly and motioned for me to follow him; I walked slowly behind Jasper studying my surroundings. Okay I was in a flat I knew that much, it was nicely decorated but then again Jasper always did have good taste, he'd been in my architecture class at college and we'd become close.. Well as close as I allowed people to become. After Victoria died I lost contact with everyone, Jasper included. We walked down a set of stairs in to the kitchen; he motioned for me to sit down.
"Why don't we talk over breakfast? You must be starving." He smiled that old familiar smile that used to make me feel so comfortable, I took a bun and some bacon fashioning a small sandwich waiting for him to continue.
"You won't lie to me Bella will you?" I shook my head, I'd never lied to him so far I don't see why I should now, it was strange how easily I'd fallen back in to the same pattern with Jasper so quickly.
"Okay last night I was out with my sister and a few friends, I saw you there. You looked panicked; you fell and sort of knocked yourself out. Had you taken anything?"
I nodded and he sighed loudly. "Hmm. I brought you back here and made sure you were okay, what were you doing out on your own so clearly unable to look after yourself Bella? I was scared when I saw you there, I haven't seen you in so long and to see you like that; it was awful."
So he hadn't seen Alice, I swallowed part of my sandwich and answered. "I wasn't by myself I was with my friend Alice, that's part of the reason I freaked I couldn't find her, we were dancing together."
"I only saw you dancing with a guy; I must have missed your friend. How are you? I haven't seen you since the funeral, I tried calling but I got no answer. I never stopped worrying about you, I called over to your mom's place but she was as distant as you." I swallowed loudly, I hadn't realised I had shut him out. I didn't think anyone was that bothered about me. Jasper had took hold of my hands from the other side of the table, I felt warmth spring up in my belly and tears prick the corner of my eyes; I wasn't used to this amount of tenderness.
I tried to speak but my voice cracked and before I knew it I was crying or should I say ugly sobbing; Jasper moved round the table and pulled me close hugging me this only made me cry more.
"I don't think I can cope any more " Was all I managed to get out, Jasper started rubbing my back and I felt myself relaxing on him it was overwhelmingly nice to have someone comfort me and look after me. He moved my body so I was on his lap, and held me until I stopped sobbing and my tears had eased off, my breathing was still off and I was hiccuping but I felt better letting a bit of the tension inside of me out.
"Bella please talk to me, what's wrong?"
I didn't know whether I should tell him I only ever told Alice these things, she understood. I don't think I could tell him about the nightmares, the things that haunted me and the shapes which came out of nowhere. I couldn't tell him, he'd think I was crazy.
"I'm fine Jasper, honestly I'm just over tired I think and those pills I took yesterday probably didn't help anything." No need to tell him you take pills daily Bella, good job. He didn't seem convinced but nodded anyway which I was thankful for, we sat in silence, I was still in Jaspers lap and I felt content. Jasper and I, I guess we'd been close in college I would have called him one of best friends, I hadn't realised up until now how much I missed him.
"What time is it?"
"10:15. Do you have somewhere you need to be?" I shook my head and moved from Jaspers lap, I wanted to go I wanted to lie in my bath and hope Alice turned up so I knew she was okay. I was about to speak when the kitchen door opened and another guy, I presume Jaspers room-mate, walked in.
"Hey. Didn't realise you had company…" I turned around and looked at the intruder, he was tall but a little bit smaller than Jasper, his hair was a mess on top of his head and he had a beautiful shaped jaw line. His eyes were the brightest green that I'd ever seen, I looked down and he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, his clothes splattered with paint.
"Hey Edward, this is Bella." I bobbed my head at him, my socially awkward tendencies making an appearance.
"Nice to meet you Bella. Do we have an coffee?"
They started talking about where the coffee was and what not, I took this as my chance to leave the room I walked back up to Jaspers room and found my clothes I slipped them on ready to get out and do the walk of shame back to my apartment. Once I was ready I walked out in to the hall to find Jasper standing there.
"Leaving without saying goodbye?" I stood looking like a total dork with my mouth open, I shrugged and opened my mouth idiotically thinking of what to say.
"It's okay I understand, how about we meet up during the week? We can talk, I don't want you to walk out of my life again Bella."
"Sure, I'd like that."
"Here's my number, call me sometime during the week yeah?" He handed me a strip of paper and I slipped it in to my coat pocket, I wavered unsure do I give him a hug? I had no idea what I was meant to do, I let Jasper decide and he pulled me in to a hug that had my knees wobbling and eyes watering. Fucking emotions.
"Thank you Jasper, I'll speak to you later." He smiled and nodded, I walked down the stairs and found my way to the front door, and I escaped in to the hallway and breathed out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Fucking hell, I need to get home.
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As always thank you for reading, I just have one request and this isn't one of those review or I won't upload I'll upload regardless I just would find it helpful if some/any of you reviewed because I'm not sure if I'm moving things to fast/if you understand what I'm writing about etc.
