Sorry about the delay with this chapter guys.
It's been a few busy months, you know with an attempt at NaNoWriMo and working two retail jobs over the holiday season.
Lucky for you lot that my New Years resolution was to be better with regular updates.
I have a few more things in the works for you as well, so please, feel free to check out my other stuff.
Cheers.
Suddenly it wasn't just Gamzee anymore.
The afternoons after class was spent sprawled out on the couch, sketchbook in hand while Rose hung in the most uncomfortable looking positions from the chair, nose pressed to the pages. She still managed to match Dave word for word while doing this, which was no small feat. Dave was either messing about in the kitchen committing crimes against food, perched on the coffee table that had seen better days, invested in whatever button mashing game he was playing with the same way Rose was with her books, or god forbid it, he flopped on the stained carpet, text books scattered about and furiously illustrating in his margins. On occasion, in those few weeks that it took to reach this level of casual being, Kurloz would drop by, and he slid into the shared routine with little to no resistance.
Gamzee Makara was content with this change in his live. He had forgotten how much he craved spending time with others. How much he cherished laughing and eating and conversing with another living, breathing, person outside of family. Since Tavros and Karkat he had avoided all situations that could have led up to a scenario such as this due to fear. Fear that by doing so, he'd be cheating on his once friends. By interacting in this pseudo intimate way he'd be spitting in the face of all the times, the good and the bad, that they had shared. He had been so afraid of change, so afraid of exposing himself, so afraid of having to cut ties all over again, that he had unwillingly isolated himself.
He still missed them though. Not a day passed without his thoughts drifting to them. Unanswered questions buzzed into awareness when he woke each morning and refused to let up when he took his pills and went to sleep.
The current routine was comfortable, though as with anything these days, was subject to change.
Rose's 'boyfriend' being one of them.
When Gamzee had first met Eridan, of the Ampora resorts and hotels, they had both been little over five. It had been at one of the many social gatherings that parents such as theirs dragged them off to as mere accessories. A mutual understanding and friendship had been struck up for these occasions. As the years progressed, the run ins became less and less frequent, things changed, people moved on, yet whenever the two met, it was like the time between was irrelevant.
Rose had dragged Gamzee out of the apartment on the grounds that 'in order to maintain a healthy relationship, as the one he had with that ugly as couch, then time apart was necessary'. The undertone of the fact she wanted to show off her new boy toy, which just so happened to be currently working at the hole in the wall coffee shop, was just serendipity at its finest.
He let that girl get away with so much, to which she was all too aware of. Her dark lips curled up in that little way she does when she knows she's the puppet master.
"Should I be offended that you show up to my work toting around a tall, dark, and handsome man, or is this going to turn into a proposition to spice things up?" He leans over the counter and places a peck on both of her cheeks before turning to the register.
"Black, no sugars, and a toasted banana bread, same as usual Rose. What do you want, Gam? Whatever it is, it's on my dearest, darling flower here, isn't that right?" he laughs
Gamzee is of course nervous being treated this casually. Surely Eridan knows what had happened. Him and Karkat had been close, at least when it came to gossip. Plus it wasn't like the incident was small. If anything, Gamzee was more surprised that nobody gave him wide berth or looked at him with a mix of fear and disgust.
"Just double my order hun, you're scaring the poor boy," Rose coos, wrapping her arm around Gamzee's own. Her tone said condescending but her actions betrayed concern and reassurance.
"Well, that will be fifteen sixty three, take your number and I'll bring you your order personally." Eridan smiles and waggles his eyebrows at the other two. Combo-ed with his over-sized glasses, he looked absolutely comedic, though it was unknown by his audience if he was trying to be funny or sincere. They smiled and headed off to their table. Eridan's mutterings about how no one swooned over him these days could be heard over the dim chatter as Rose lead Gamzee to a corner booth.
"So," She cups her chin, dark lined eyes betraying amusement.
"So?"
"How do you know my darling beau? I'm ever so curious."
He fiddles with the hem of his over stretched shirt. Maybe he should've dressed nicer, rather than just meeting up in what he had been wearing when he got the text. He knew he was out of place, everyone did. The stares were all directed at him, isolating him, placing face to stories. Why did he come out?
He can tell she's waiting for a response, watching with patient eyes.
Now he remembered. That girl could get away with murder when it came to him.
"We go way back, parents 'n' everything. We keep on running into each other, but it's cool, he's a chill bro. What about you, my wicked sis? How do you know my little fish finger?"
She laughs as a disgruntled barista saunters over.
"Better not be unveiling anything discriminating about my person, Gam. That would be a major dick move on your part."
Rose rolls her eyes playfully, pulling her slice of toasted banana bread over. With sharp, calculated strokes she spreads butter over it. It smells heavenly.
"Not in the slightest, bro. I got your back, bros before hoes, remember?"
"Boys, why you have to take one step forwards then two steps back, so counter-productive. If I'm anything, it's a prostitute. A hoe makes it sound like I give it for free." She says this while pointing a froth covered spoon at the both of them.
"You're the fanciest prostitute out there, sis."
"What Gam preaches is true, takes me weeks to save up for your tips."
"As long as we have that established."
"So are you and Eridan, like, a thing?"
The once steady stream of students walking around the campus had slowed to a trickle, indicating that it was a good a time as any to head back to the dorms.
"What lead you to that particular conclusion, if I may so ask?"
Rose's arms are wrapped around her middle. Gamzee goes to shrug off a sweater he isn't wearing. To substitute this, he pulls her to his side, arm secured around her shoulders. They both slow down to match paces.
"Well my boy was all up in the smiles, positively glowing. Same could be said to you, Rosie. You two are the cutie patooties."
Her eyes crinkle in that little way she does when she's trying her best not to laugh.
"He's a babe isn't he? And that ass. That ass! Like a baby pumpkin in those pants."
"No homo, but yes. How does he even get into those things, not that I'm complaining, end no homo."
Comfortably, they walk on in the cool winds of the early evening.
When Gamzee gets back to his dorm after walking Rose back to her own, it's well past dark. He couldn't help that he got distracted. The tree branches, silhouetted by the near full moon. How they swayed in the breeze that was making itself known. It was absolutely enchanting.
Opening the door and walking in to a sleeping apartment, well, that was different. By sleeping, it was due to the fact that no electronics appeared to be on. No dim light bulbs, no flickering television. It was quiet. Too quiet.
It was an odd occasion that the sound of Dave, doing one thing or another didn't hang over the place like a warm blanket, but it did happen.
Walking to his room, after his pit stop to the bathroom to take off his concealer, Gamzee realised he should have probably remembered to take his phone with him. He had a few messages waiting for him.
Going straight form the main screen, not even taking a minute to stare at the background image that had been set in better time, he started composing an explanation to ease Kurloz's already frayed nerves.
He loved his brother, God knows he does, but sometimes… overbearing would be the best word that Gamzee could come up with, though good intentions came close. Kurloz cared too much, always had and probably always will. The burdens of being a younger brother, having to be on the receiving end of the mother henning.
His suspicions on Dave being out were also confirmed, specifically at John's dorm.
Gamzee's knowledge of John was fairly standard. He was Dave's best bro, and has been since they met online at the age of ten. He apparently had a massive man crush on Matthew McConaughey and owned every Nic Cage movie to date. Dave was very fond of him and most conversations came back to something John had done, or said.
If Gamzee could, he'd return these little snippets of life that his roommate shared with his own. But he couldn't bring himself to do that to Tavros or Karkat. They didn't need their names to be dragged through the mud anymore. It was for the best that all ties to the psycho were severed, as painful as it may be.
Dave had invited him over to the movie night at John's, a weekly occurrence. He felt that Gamzee would enjoy getting out and meeting the Derp, as Dave took to calling his best friend. That and apparently John's roommate was a riot to stir up. Most of this was said between words, as Dave was so fond of doing. Luckily for Gamzee, he'd picked up on the ability to decipher Dave's bullshit within a few days of living together.
He declined the invitation of course. As great as going out with Rose and seeing Eridan again had been, it had done nothing but raise Gamzee's anxieties.
He needed some alone time.
So Gamzee sat in the dark with only the moonlight to reveal the room's contents.
He'd never quite got around to cleaning the place up like he had promised himself all those weeks ago. It was a small wonder he hadn't broken anything in his quest to get in and out of the room at this stage. Well, to be honest, it was more or less organised. One corner had been vacated to make room for several canvases, all propped up against an occupied easel. The painted canvas resting on top was his first assignment for one of his art units.
A self-portrait interpretation of your inner self.
Looking at the sinisterly mirthful eyes, mocking him from another plane, was like looking into a mirror. Or at least, that's what Gamzee seemed to believe.
Reaching into his bedside table, he found his anchor to reality, chucked back two dry and let slumber whisk him away in its pseudo warm embrace.
His phone beeped, announcing incoming messages that would not be acknowledged until the morning.
Gamzee woke up to find himself drenched in a cold sweat. Despite not remembering what had jolted him awake exactly, the cold, cruel laughter still followed him out. The cool light filtering through his un-shaded window told him that it was the early hours of the morning. Despite the many hours he had left before class started, sleep was something that he wasn't ready to go back to.
He pulled himself out of the warm tangle of blankets and sheets, and waded through the obstacle course littering his floor.
Gamzee hesitated, standing at the bathroom sink, his hair still dripping from his morning shower. Before him sat an innocent tube of concealer. His mask, his safety harness. As long as he wore it then he could pass as being human, not segregated like he would be if his true identity as a monster was revealed to them.
In an act, equal parts defiance and apathy, he didn't apply it. Gamzee chose to instead to wear them as a badge of shame, a reminder to why he deserved no kindness. Maybe if he stopped hiding them, Dave and Rose, and even Eridan, will see him for the monster he truly was and evade him and all the misfortune that comes with the shackle known as Gamzee Makara.
To be honest, he didn't really know what he wanted anymore.
Dave came back about an hour or so before his first class started. He was met with the sight of the gangly teen perched on the edge of the couch, staring at nothing.
"You okay?" Dave asked, his head already stuck neck deep in the fridge. A stock up was just about due.
Gamzee remained motionless, shoulders curled, almost meeting his jaw. He refused to reveal his unmasked face just yet. Scared of what his room-mate, his new friend, would think of him now.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
His breaths started to become fast and short.
Dave's hand rested on his shoulder, clenching down hard enough to comfort the boney frame shaking beneath.
"Gamzee, breath,"
In.
Hold it.
Out.
Rinse, lather and repeat.
"Are you going to be alright, man?" Concern dripped from Dave's question. Despite the façade he upheld about himself being the coolest thing since Vanilla Ice, he dropped it around those he was close to. Especially in situations such as this.
Gamzee nodded over excessively.
"I'm fine, bro. Peachy. Just getting my freak on 'bout an assignment, you know what I'm saying?" speech was too hurried to be anything about what he was preaching. Dave put enough faith in him to allow Gamzee some freedom though. Dave wasn't his mother after all.
"Whatever you say, as long as you aren't going to flip the fuck out. You gonna be good for the day?" They both chuckled the previous scene off, both uncomfortable with what was not being said about it.
"I'm as calm as a cucumber. Gotta get my shit ready though, class 'n' all."
"Fuck man, we're going to be late at this rate. Let's get this party in motion" Dave pulled the taller boy off the couch, only then seeing Gamzee's pale face, scars and all.
Three white, diagonal lines stretched across his face from his forehead, across his nose and down to the opposite cheek. They were fine lines that would in time fade away to ghosts, but for now they were fresh enough to be easily spotted without any cover.
After a brief moment of hesitation, Dave pushed Gamzee towards his respective room.
"Come on, we don't have time to dilly dally. I don't know about you, but I still need to grab a coffee before class, you dig?"
The majority of the previous tension Gamzee had harboured just seemed to melt of him. His lazy smile slowly tugged on the corners of his thin lips.
"Sure thing. Could use a motherfucking cup myself."
Maybe things could turn out alright after all.
