Title: Naruto Uzumaki's Day Off
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke
Summary: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." AU
Disclaimer: Ferris Bueller's Day Off is obviously a movie that is owned by John Hughes. The DVD however is under my ownership, the concept is not. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I only own the idea of placing Naruto in Ferris' spot.
Warnings: Coarse language, horrid humor, boy x boy sex (mentions of it)
Notes: I am sorry that I took forever to update this. Hope you all enjoy.
Sasuke was flipping his shit. I had to drag him outside so he wouldn't damage anything in Sakura's home. She went to the garage, rummaging through the contents of the entire place, shouting when she had located some gasoline. She held it out for Sasuke, who yanked it from her and ran off to Itachi's baby. If Sakura never found the gasoline…I shook my head. I didn't want to think about the massive temper tantrum Sasuke would have, alongside the shitfest if Itachi had ever found out either. No, that would not be good and I don't want to imagine what two pissed off Uchihas look like.
Sasuke was cursing at everything and anything while he was filling up the car, and Sai was standing a few feet behind him, shaking his head. He came up to me, clapped me on the back, and wished me well. He also said some shit about my penis being small and that he must have some horrible taste to which I promptly raised my fist, but Sakura struck me, before I could strike him. I scowled at her, but she was already pushing Sai away to a bus stop conveniently located on the same street as her house (only a few steps away really.)
I went over to my boyfriend, who finally finished filling up the car, and patted his arm. He gave me one of the patented "Uchiha glares" and I just pinched his cheeks. Every single time he tried that with me, it always ended up with the same results, and today was absolutely no different. He would get mad after I pinched his cheeks, and try to punch me, but I would actually dodge it, and wrestle with him…which would get me all hot and bothered, and I knew he would not be in the mood for that. So after I pinched him, I jumped into my seat, and patted the driver's spot. That earned me another glare, but he moved his ass.
We drove off as soon as he got in, waving to Sakura as we rode past, going about a million miles per hour, or at least that's what it felt like. I couldn't believe that we were seriously breaking the speed limit for all of this right now. I looked around as the county went by me in a mix of colors; I was in awe. "How fast are you going?" I shouted to him.
I guess he looked at his meter while diving, because he gruffly told me "About 85 to 90."
"Shit!" I knew that way too fast and if there was a cop around these parts, we were definitely going to get stopped. "Slow down a bit. No need to get cuffed up because Itachi wants his precious little baby back." He paid me no heed and still kept going at the same speed. I could only hold on for dear life as the world seemed to be going too fast. "So, uh…Sasuke…where is Itachi, exactly?"
"I told you he's on his way."
"But where is he that he's so close?"
"I have no fucking idea." Ladies and gentlemen, this man is brilliant I tell you. I shook my head in disbelief, going back to staring at the world as if I was high, except a car that was coming up ahead, made me start hyperventilating. "Naruto?" Sasuke asked me.
"Fuck, go onto the next lane on the left and slow the fuck down!"
"Why the hell should I-?"
"Just fucking do it, Sasuke!"
He did as he was told and swerved onto the next lane, much to his displeasure. "Idiot, that's the lane we're supposed to be on, you better have a damned good reason for you to be-"
"Itachi is on the other fucking lane, so we better pick another route unless you want him to see you." He looked at me in alarm. "We really need another route."
"We can't do much of anything until he gets out at one of the exits or if he speeds up."
I turned my attention to Itachi's car, staring through the one that was currently next to us. Unfortunately, while doing my spy mission, a lovely little boy of about nine years young was picking his nose and caught me staring. He decided to lift the finger that all men love to lift and stick his tongue out. Being the mature individual that I was, the same obscene gesture was given right back, only two-fold. I was smacked in the head by my boyfriend, who told me to "stop acting like an asshole." He also received the same obscene gesture, but I dutifully returned to spying on Itachi.
But as much as I want to say I was damned successful, we had missed Itachi getting out of the fucking exit. Sasuke ended up yelling at me for the next ten minutes about how I could let a child get in the way of me staring at his brother. At any other time, I would have joked about how in the world my boyfriend would want me to stare at his brother, but I kept that thought to myself. Instead, I figured I would save that for another time, so I could torture him with it.
"Shut up! I get it. We just need to calmly find out another solution to this problem. How about we get out at the next exit?" He glared at me, but did as I had suggested. We ended up finding out we were much closer to his place than with the exit that Itachi had taken. We drove for about another fifteen minutes and reached Sasuke's mansion, amazed to find that no one else was at the house before us. I gave Sasuke a look, "See, this is why we should listen to Naruto more often." He scoffed, but said nothing. It was go time to get the car back into it's original spot.
We got it parked all crisp and clean, sitting on the hood of the car for a few minutes, while Sasuke inhaled and exhaled like a pregnant woman. "When are you going into labor honey, I need to know where to put the meatloaf." I said to him, and he swiftly smacked my stomach. "Ouch. But baby-" I started to whine, until we heard the sounds of a car coming ever closer. "He's here."
"No shit, Sherlock." I pouted at him but I didn't retort.
We walked out to meet Itachi halfway, and he raised an eyebrow at the two of us. "What were the two of you doing in the garage? Sasuke's car is parked out here."
"Totally making out on the roof of your car." I couldn't help saying it, and then I was greeted with two Uchiha glares. It was a lovely sight to behold. They could make you wish you were evaporating into thin air as well as giving you a sexy smolder look, that only made you want to go over and touch them…and do a couple of naughty things but, you know how that goes. I gave a strained laugh and rubbed the back of my neck.
"He's kidding." Sasuke told his elder brother, as he crossed his arms, giving him a defiant look. I kind of almost wished they would savagely go at each other's throats like normal siblings who fight, but the Uchihas are too calm, cold, and collected to ever resort to fist fights. Unless if Sasuke against me, then it's nothing about being collected and all about who can punch the living daylights out of one another, but I digress.
"I hope he is for your sake, little brother." With that, Itachi pushed through the two of us and headed straight to check on his car. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his brother's antics, but grabbed my hand, bringing me into their home and upstairs.
Being inside of Sasuke's house was always weird, because I felt like I didn't belong there at all. There were so many expensive things laying about, but Sasuke always took me straight to his room. We've obviously never done anything too intimate, but we hardly did nothing as well. There was always video games or some other kind of thing to amuse yourself with. Sasuke's room was homely more so than the actual house, and that was okay by me. I dived onto his bed, laying on my stomach and he just closed the door behind him, leaning on it, looking delectable as he usually does.
"What would happen if we did it in your house, on your bed, while your brother is home?"
He chuckled. "Is sex the only thing you ever think about?"
I sat up and thought about it. "Hm…that and schemes to get out of class. Seems like I'm getting good at my plans working. I've got you, had you in bed, plan on having you some more in bed, and I'm currently not in class. I got to skip with my two best friends and a lover. Hot." I grinned as he came over to me, and laid down beside me on his back. "See? This is what I'm talking about, just me and you, and a bed for the two of us."
"But you're gonna have to go soon. I don't think Jiraiya or Tsunade will be too happy to see that you're out of your own bed."
"Drive me?"
"Did you think I was going to make you walk?"
"If you felt like being a particular asshole…"
"Now that I think of it…" I shot him a look. "I'm kidding. Come on." He started to sit up, but I pulled him down. "What now?"
"We can't just leave your room without anything happening…" I pushed him back down on the bed and climbed on top of him. I tugged his black locks upward as I set my mouth on top of his. My tongue darted out, coaxing his lips to part, which they did easily. Our tongues mixed, swirling inside of each other's mouth, fighting a battle neither wishing to relinquish power to the other. Unfortunately after a while of struggling both of us needed air, and I had to concede. He chuckled, and I attacked his neck, biting and sucking on the delicious skin, leaving a huge mark. "That was for laughing at me, you bastard."
I got off of him, and pulled him upright. We started to walk downstairs and saw Itachi. He was staring off into the distance in front of the house. Sasuke purposely bumped into him, knocking him back into reality. "The hell was that for?"
"For acting like a weirdo. Got a problem with it?"
I started laughing and waved to Itachi as we both got into the car and sped off. "I'm amazed. You actually stood up to him, somewhat. What about when you go back home? Won't the two of you get into some huge fight, and your dad will go and have a cow?"
He waved it off. "I'm tired of being in his shadow. I'm tired of him always getting whatever the hell he wants. I'm gonna make a stand when I get back. I'm gonna prove those bastards wrong, and do my share of things. I'll be the better one, they'll see."
I nodded. "I believe it. You can do it." We drove for a little while longer in silence, until we stared getting near my house. I started to directing my attention outside, when I noticed Jiraiya's car approaching. "Oh shit, we've got trouble."
"What trouble?"
"They're really close Sasuke!"
"Who is?"
"Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Konohamaru. Speed off! Like, now!" He out the pedal to the metal, and had to go off into a side street to avoid being seen. However, due to him doing that, we had to take a roundabout way, which would take us longer than the original route. But, we were going at a pretty abnormal pace so it was quite alright. Sasuke veered off into other streets, cutting across this way and that, while I kept swishing around in the seat.
"Don't you think you should've put on the damned seatbelt?"
"I didn't think we were going to be playing crazy taxi, asshole!"
I clung onto the dashboard with one hand and my seat in the other. It felt like everything was out of control. At one point, my body lifted from the seat and I thought my life was starting to flash before my eyes. Sasuke swerved right and in front of my house. I quickly wondered where Jiraiya was, and I saw his car in front of one of the lights. It was red! Luck was on my side!
"No time for cheering, Naruto. We gotta get upstairs."
I nodded, and started fishing out my keys. I couldn't find them fast enough, and dragged him around the house as the light started to change. "Come on, we gotta go through the back or else!"
"You lost the keys?"
"Not now, Sasuke!" I could say before we got into another argument. I got the keys from above the doorframe in the back and opened the door easily. We got in and I closed the door and locked it. We were both going to casually walk upstairs, but the front door opened and Tsunade walked in followed by Jiraiya and Konohamaru! We swung into the kitchen, me pushing Sasuke to the ground and falling on top of him.
"Get off!" Whispered and yelled to me. I quickly got off of him, and I could tell Tsunade and Jiraiya were about to walk upstairs. Konohamaru walked into the kitchen and saw me and Sasuke. He was about to speak, but I covered his mouth.
"You have to cover for me, you've got to get them here right now so I can sneak back upstairs with him in tow. Got it?" He nodded, as I took my hand off of his mouth and headed for the second door, grabbing Sasuke by his shirt.
"Mom~! Dad~! There's a huge bug in the kitchen! Help! Help!" Naturally, my guardians came down from the staircase they were both climbing, so they could save their poor child. Sasuke and I erupted from the second door of the kitchen as they were arriving through the first, and we tiptoed up the staircase.
We both ran into my room, and closed the door behind us softly, lest they hear us wandering around. "Jeesh, that was close!"
Sasuke pushed me onto the bed. "You think? Get undressed, they'll be up here any minute!"
"What are you going to do?"
"Tend to your sick ass, of course." he put a finger to my lips before I made my comeback. "Yeah, I do love it. Undress. Now."
I waggled my eyebrows. "I love it when you're forceful. I did as I was told and jumped into bed, as he sat at the edge. The other three had come bursting into my room, (more like Tsunade came bursting in) to see if I was alright, and found Sasuke sitting on my bed, gingerly wiping fake sweat off of my brow.
"Oh, you're home. I came as soon as I had gotten out of class today. I've only been here for a little while, maybe I should return home?" Sasuke could be a great actor if he wanted to be, but he only tried to fool people when it was really necessary, like right now.
Jiraiya was the one to come forward, before Tsunade could even start with any accusations. "Oh no, keep tending to him. I'm sure he'd be much happier if you stayed here for a little while longer. As a matter of fact, why don't you stay for dinner? I'm sure Naruto will feel well enough by then and will try eating something, if he hasn't already."
I pretended that I could only sit up a little, and sneezed, mumbling a few incoherent things about dinner later. Sasuke pushed me back down gently onto the bed, saying something about me not pushing myself too hard. This seemed to suffice as Jiraiya dragged Tsunade out of the room. Konohamaru gave a thumbs up and got out quickly as well.
We waited until we could hear them moving about downstairs so we could talk normally again. "That went better than I had expected. I can't believe you're staying for dinner now."
"I might even stay so late that I'll have to just stay the night."
I grinned and pulled him down so that his lips were right about my own. "I think I like the sound of that. We could have a night of no sleep and me still being sick. Then I wouldn't have to go to school for another day."
"Bottoming twice in one day? How lovely."
"I never said I was bottoming again."
"So you want me to go into class with a sore ass tomorrow, while you're here not doing anything? I think you should bottom, so I won't be so tired and ragged in class."
I had to admit, the bastard had a point there, but I was not giving up. In the end, he still won. He overpowered me, but straddling me and grinding his hips with mine. I couldn't speak as a wave of heat engulfed my body and he started to taint my senses with his sexiness and ferocity. He bit, sucked, and touched everywhere he damn well pleased, while I had to control my sounds. I gripped at his hair and the sheets as pleasure became my everything. His name was sweet on my tongue and every kiss he gave made me want to devour him. Sex was blissful, and I was left with the dull ache in my backside when we were through.
I had to be carried down to dinner, and he did end up staying the night. I was able to wake up next to him. Our hands were joined together, and our legs intertwined. The sheets were tangled, and we laughed and smiled. It was a beautiful morning, and then I realized it was Saturday. Neither of us had school, and we didn't have to do a thing all day. My family had decided to go out for a while, and they brought us with them. I held his hand in mine and Jiraiya made some exclamations like, "It's about time!" Tsunade hit him pretty hard for that one.
Sasuke and I played with Konohamaru and I taught him some tricks of the trade. He was going to fake being sick on Monday while I was being dragged to school by my lover. I pouted so he would give me my way, but he didn't give into it. Instead, I was filled with a promise that we would end up making a list of places for romps at school before we graduated, so we could fill the quota. He knows me so well.
In retrospect, of the few short hours that I had spent, I realized that life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it. With that thought, I leave you guys to go make out with my lover.
Extra Notes: Hope you all enjoyed the fic. I am glad for the reviews and I am glad to hear some of your input. I thank you for sticking by and reading. I hope the ending wasn't horrible.
xoxo
