Memento Mortui
As Harry and Ginny walked into the Great Hall, they were instantly surrounded by the Weasleys and Hermione. Hermione got in ahead of the others. "Goodness, Harry, we were getting worried about you. We didn't know where you were, and after this morning… well… we were worried that something might have happened. Thank goodness Ginny found you."
She suddenly seemed to catch on that Harry and Ginny were still arm in arm and smiled warmly. "Or perhaps you found each other?"
Harry looked around at them all. "I'm sorry if I worried you—I really am—but I really did need time to think out a lot of things. I just needed an hour or so alone to sort my head out. I'm feeling a little better now. Ginny helped me get around some stuff, and the rest…well, it's going to happen anyway, so I'll just have to deal with it as it comes."
Molly Weasley looked at Harry quizzically. "What's going to happen?"
"Tomorrow's service, all the funerals… and that's just for starters. Then I have to work out what to do with a life that no longer includes Voldemort. It's a big change." Harry was speaking quite calmly, but his throat and voice tightened as he spoke.
Mrs Weasley pulled him into an all-enveloping hug. "Remember, we can help you too. You've helped us a lot, and I'm so grateful for all you did last year and for keeping Ron safe."
Again, Harry had the feeling that he had had in fourth year, of what a mother's love could have been like. It brought a lump to his throat, and he fought back the urge to cry. "I think you've helped me more," he choked out. "You've always been so kind to me. I can never thank you enough for that. I'm just so sorry I couldn't do more."
Mrs. Weasley's hug tightened for a few seconds, and then she stood back. "You did everything you could. No one blames you—for anything."
Harry just looked at them. Ginny was standing back a little, having been almost forced away when her mother had hugged Harry. She moved in, slipped an arm over Harry's shoulder, and tightened her hold just momentarily in a gesture of reassurance.
Percy suddenly noticed and asked, "Hey, is there something you should be telling us, Ginny? Father, is Ginny…"
Arthur Weasley saw the warning signs in Ginny's eyes and interrupted firmly, only half a breath ahead of Ginny, who looked as though she was about to explode. "If Harry and Ginny feel they need to discuss anything—particularly about their personal lives—they will discuss it with your mother or me… only."
Harry put in, "Well, we were going out for a while in my sixth year, but stopped when I was sort of… out of the picture. We can be back together again now. Ginny has sort of said she can stand being seen with me, and I can put up with her…"
Ginny punched him on the shoulder. "Potter, I may just have to Bat-Bogey you. '… put up with me.' You'll have to do better than that." She tapped him gently on the nose with her wand and grinned.
"All right, that's enough… I think we get the general idea," Arthur exclaimed. "I think none of us need comment on this at all. There are several other things to think of. We all need to sort ourselves out for tomorrow. Ron, we brought your dress robes over, as well as the others. Harry, do you have formal robes?"
"I can get hold of them quick enough. I can ask Kreacher to dig them out from Grimmauld Place. I think that's where they were. He shut his eyes for a second and said, "Kreacher?"
There was a loud crack, and the elf stood in front of Harry, bowing deeply. "What can Kreacher do for Master Harry? Master Harry has missed supper and must eat. Kreacher shall fetch some food."
"Kreacher," Harry interjected. "I would love something to eat. When you've done that, would you be very kind and go to Grimmauld Place and fetch my dress robes? I need them for tomorrow morning."
"Of course, Master. Kreacher shall have some food here in two minutes, and the robes will be by your bed within the hour. Kreacher knows exactly where they are."
"Thank you, Kreacher."
"Kreacher is honoured to serve Master Harry." The elf snapped his fingers and disappeared with another loud crack.
Mrs. Weasley asked, "Is that the same Kreacher? What's happened to him? He seems pleased to see you, Harry."
"It's all done by kindness," Hermione said. "Harry was kind to him, and he changed. He even tolerates me now. It just goes to prove what I've been saying for years. We don't treat elves well enough."
Harry could sense a lecture on elf rights coming, so he quickly muttered, "I'm going to sit down. Kreacher will be as good as his word about the food."
He looked round for Bill, and quietly said, "Need a word after I've eaten. I need your help."
Bill nodded, saying nothing.
Kreacher appeared suddenly, bearing a tray so big, he could hardly be seen. "Kreacher has brought chops, vegetables, potatoes, gravy and a treacle tart. Is that to Master's liking?"
"Very much! How did you know that I really fancied chops and treacle tart? Thank you, Kreacher. You've gone to a lot of trouble."
"Kreacher always watches to see what Master enjoys most. Now he will go and find Master's robes." He bowed deeply, his locket clinking on the floor, and disappeared with the usual crack.
After he had eaten, Harry pulled Bill to one side. They were joined by Ron, Hermione and Ginny, who refused to be any farther from Harry than she had to be.
"Bill, I've got to put the Elder Wand back where it belongs. What I want you to do is put every locking charm, hex, curse—everything, including the kitchen sink—on the place it goes into, so no one can ever get it again. Then we will all need to be Obliviated so we can't remember what curses were used, or even where it is. Everyone knows where it was, we can't help that. I just want to know it's as beyond reach as I can make it. Ginny, I know you want to help, but Ron and Hermione already know what I am going to do. They were with me when I discussed it. I couldn't help it. I need you to stay here, know nothing, but do the Obliviating when we come back. I promise this will be the last secret. I don't even want to know myself, but this is one case where only those that must know, or already know, should be involved. Also we need someone who doesn't know to Obliviate us."
Ginny looked at Harry. He could see the disappointment in her eyes. She was also starting to look mulish.
"I know you're disappointed with me," he said. "I know you think this is me saving everybody by shutting them out. I'm not…especially you. I trust you, but I actually do need you to do this my way. Please. Yours is probably the second most vital part. Bill's is absolutely essential, but yours no less. None of us must be allowed to remember this. We have to forget where we will have been for the last hour."
Ginny was still looking at Harry. She reluctantly recognised his sincerity, and her background role. "As long as this is the last secret."
Harry kissed her gently. "I promise."
"Do you think I'm the best person to do the Obliviate? If it's that important, isn't there anyone better?"
"Yes, you're the best. No, there isn't anyone better. Besides, when I thought of this, I checked your marks from Defence classes. First thing I did when I got out of the hospital wing. Invisibility cloaks are useful, really."
"You… get out of here before I hex you. And remember you're going to owe me a big favour." Ginny's voice was tremulous with a mix of suppressed anger and amusement.
The four went off to Dumbledore's tomb. Harry took the Elder Wand, reached in, and placed it between the bony fingers. "Thank you, Sir—for everything. I hope I haven't let you down. I hope I never do. I can never forget what you've done for me. I don't want to. Thank you."
He stepped back, drew his own wand and said, "Reparo." The broken side of the tomb resealed itself.
"Now, Bill, if you can think of it, do it."
Bill walked around the tomb, and Harry pulled both Ron and Hermione out of earshot. "We shouldn't even look. The less we know the better."
"That was a hard thing to do, Harry, looking into the tomb. Are you all right?" Hermione was, as usual, concerned for him.
Ron was shaking his head and added, "I couldn't have done it. Too spooky."
Harry shook his head. "Well, I've seen Dumbledore recently, haven't I? He's not there, just the part he no longer needed. He's on 'the next great adventure,' as he calls it. It didn't worry me a bit. Actually, it helped me say goodbye properly. I couldn't at the funeral."
Bill came up. "Well, you asked for the kitchen sink, and that's what you've got. I've given it everything I can think of, everything I learnt in Egypt. The lot. Even some old Sumerian stuff. I'm not going to tell you exactly what, you don't need to know. Let's just say that anyone trying to get into there will be lucky if any two of their body parts land in the same county. C'mon. Ginny awaits, and I'm sure she's looking forward to this."
They walked back into the Entrance Hall, and were suddenly struck by a charm. Harry checked round and saw nothing amiss, only Ginny grinning at him. He suddenly felt very tired.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Dunno… something just hit me." He looked around and said, "The others too. I can't see anyone but…"
"Don't worry about it. It might have been some of the castle's protections malfunctioning. I didn't feel a thing." Ginny was still grinning at him.
He yawned. "I feel absolutely worn out. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning." He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug, kissed her gently and went off upstairs.
Harry woke up in his dormitory the following morning with a vaguely uneasy feeling. He could remember coming in late last night and being hit with a charm. Bill, Ron and Hermione had been hit too. He didn't know why or what had happened, but he had spoken about it to Ginny, who told him not to worry. They had talked for a bit, and then he had gone to bed. He was absolutely whacked anyway. He looked round. Ron was sitting up scratching his head with both hands. They looked at each other.
"How do you feel this morning, mate?" Harry asked.
"Like I lost something."
"Me too. I dunno what though. Makes me nervous."
Ron looked puzzled for a moment, and then he brightened. "Why don't we ask Hermione at breakfast? If anyone can work this out, she can."
Harry looked at his watch. "Speaking of breakfast, we need to get a move on. It's half eight now, and we still need to get breakfast and get ready for the service. That's at eleven."
He slumped back onto his pillows. More than anything, he wanted to avoid the service. His stomach churned at the thought of all the families, all the losses, the sadness, and that he was needed to be almost at the centre of it. For a moment he thought he ought just to pull the covers over his head and shut the world out. Then he thought of Ginny. She would be there. She would need his support. She'd been brilliant yesterday with all that she had done for him. Now he could give some of that back. He had his reason to go on. Resolutely, he threw back his covers, threw himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, astonishing Ron in the process. Normally, he and Ron would help each other avoid getting up.
Harry and Ron went down to the Great Hall for breakfast together. Hermione was already there, with a small book open in front of her, reading fast.
"What in the name of anything are you reading now? You can't be studying. We missed our last year, remember?" Ron was more amused than anything.
"Well, suppose we are allowed to redo our last year, there's a lot we could read up on already," Hermione huffed. "Some of us might want to try for NEWTs, you know."
"Never mind that for a minute," Ron interrupted. "Did you forget something?"
"No, but I know what you mean. Last night, before we went out, I wrote myself a note." Her voice dropped, and she looked round to check that no one was listening. "What we went to do was something we didn't want ourselves to remember. It was to do with the Hallows. Harry organised it. He arranged to have Ginny Obliviate us when we got back. She doesn't know why, and now we can't tell her. It was important not to know."
She sighed. "It's frustrating, but there it is. No one knows, and that's the way we wanted it."
Harry looked relieved. At least he knew enough to stop worrying. If he himself had arranged it, and Ginny had done it, then that was good enough. Ron was still looking puzzled. "But what could have been so important?"
"I'll have to Obliviate you myself soon, if you don't stop worrying. Forget it," Hermione said sharply. "Whatever it is, we all agreed to it."
"Okay, okay, I'll try." Ron was still puzzled, but knew what it meant when Hermione started to sound like that. It was too early in the morning to start a row.
Harry had already started picking at his breakfast. He didn't feel like eating much. Ginny came in, sat down next to him and said, "You still have to eat, you know."
Harry grinned slightly. "You're starting to sound like your Mum. Where are they, by the way?"
Ginny grimaced. "I don't know if she'll be down. I don't think she's looking forward to today too much. It makes it all too real. I know I'm not looking forward to it either. I still can't get used to the idea that Fred's… gone."
"I know," Harry replied. He looked at his plate, and pushed his bacon around a bit more. "It's not fair. I can't get used to it either. Whenever I see George, I keep looking for Fred. George must be in bits."
"He's planning something, I think. Not for today, but next week. You're right, though. He looks so lost whenever he thinks no one's looking. I don't know how to help him. Hermione was saying it would do him good to talk, but he's not ready for that yet, I don't think. I wish I could help him, but every time I think of something, it sounds trite, or naff somehow. I'm not sure I'm much better than he is, or Mum. The whole family just seems to have such a hole in it without—"
Ginny stopped talking suddenly and sniffed. Tears were sparkling in her eyes. Harry just put an arm round her shoulders, and she suddenly leant into him and started to cry quietly, her fists knotted into his tee shirt. Harry put his other arm round her and stroked her back gently. He felt enormously humbled, and trusted, somehow. Ginny was not normally someone who would let you see her feelings, so this was extraordinary. Looking up for a moment, he could see that Ron was having trouble holding his emotions in check too, and Hermione was whispering in his ear and rubbing his back as well.
After a few minutes, Ginny calmed down a little. "I think I'd better go and get ready. I don't fancy eating either. I shouldn't have told you to eat… It's stupid. I feel stupid. I'll just grab a cup of tea, and then… dammit, I feel such a prat."
"We all feel pretty bad, but we're going to get through this together, okay?" Harry told her. "Go on and get changed. Take the tea with you. Ron and I have got to go as well. Hermione's going up too. Come down when you're ready, and we'll go out to this together."
Ginny got up and left, Hermione only a couple of steps behind her. Harry looked across the table at Ron. "C'mon, mate. Let's go up and sort ourselves out. We have to anyway."
Ron nodded. "It's going to be a rotten day. I really feel pretty… ah, I don't know… Fred and George were always so much a part of everything, and now… ah, hell." He shook his head, stuffed the last of his toast in his mouth, and stood up. He looked at Harry and led the way out of the room.
In the dormitory, Kreacher was just hanging up Harry's dress robes. "Master Harry, Kreacher has found your robes. They have been cleaned and pressed. Kreacher has also pressed those of Master Wheezy. Kreacher must also bring bad news. Kreacher thinks bad people have been inside Master's house in London. It is all untidy and dirty. Kreacher will clean it. Kreacher would be ashamed to have his Master's house seen so. Kreacher cannot make the house safe though. Kreacher thinks Master will have to do that, so no more strangers can get in."
"Okay, Kreacher, thank you for telling me. It's not your fault, and I'm not surprised."
Harry shook his head sadly. He supposed he was lucky the place was still standing; Death Eaters were bound to have found their way in after their narrow escape on the doorstep all those months ago.
"Kreacher, I will get someone to help make it safe. I don't want you to go back, even though I know you want to clean it up. It still might not be safe for you. You should stay and help here until I say it's safe for you to go back. I don't want you hurt."
Kreacher looked at Harry with his large eyes shining. "Kreacher thinks Master is very kind to him. Dobby had told Kreacher that Master Harry was very kind. Kreacher thinks he is very lucky to have such a master, so good, so kind to him."
"That's okay, Kreacher. Now go off and find someone to tell you what is needed around here. I think there is still plenty of work here for the time being."
Kreacher disappeared with a crack.
Ron and Harry changed and went down to the Entrance Hall. Ron looked around at the crowds already gathering outside. "Blimey, half the wizarding world seems to be here. There's at least ten Aurors I recognise, looks like all the Wizengamot, and… unbelievable. People must have started arriving hours ago."
Harry said nothing but kept out of sight of the door. He knew that all those outside must have been told not to enter the castle. Nothing else would have kept them out. It looked like he was going to be mobbed. He turned and looked at Ron. "I don't know if I can face all this. I'm just me, not the Weird Sisters, and I get the feeling that's how everyone's going to be."
He sat down. He was going to be asked to speak in front of that crowd. He knew it. His mouth was dry and his stomach churning. Really, he would rather just go back to the dorm and relax. He felt that some people probably were there out of nosiness, but there were the genuine mourners as well. He felt for them. But then, he supposed, it was for them he was going to have to do this. He still felt ashamed that he had not saved more lives. So many deaths… and they all troubled him greatly. He still felt ashamed that he was alive and others weren't. He was no better than any of them, and some, even Snape, were certainly braver.
At a quarter to eleven, Ginny came down, along with the rest of her family. She was slightly red-eyed, and they all looked upset and apprehensive. Harry could understand that. Today was going to be difficult. Ron was still looking carefully round the door at the crowds outside.
"Kingsley Shacklebolt's headed this way," he said. "I think he's probably looking for you, Harry."
Shacklebolt entered the hall at the same moment as Professor McGonagall reached them from the Great Hall. The simultaneous arrival of both seemed almost choreographed.
"Ah, good, Mr Potter. I am pleased you are on time." Professor McGonagall said. "Shall we proceed? I quite understand that you are apprehensive, but we must all face things we would rather avoid over the coming weeks." She looked around at the Weasleys, now gathered with Hermione in a tight group. "I think it would be better if we all went out together. Perhaps you would be kind enough to lead the way, Kingsley?"
"With pleasure, Minerva," came the reply. "I was looking for Harry myself. Let's get on with this then, shall we?"
Harry stood up, and found himself in the centre of the Weasley family. Ginny was beside him. He reached out, took her hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze, feeling a return of pressure from her. They looked at each other, green eyes meeting brown. Harry hadn't realised until then how much could pass between two people with just a glance. He saw grief, concern, reassurance and hurt all at once. He knew he wanted to convey the same to her, and hoped he was managing to do so.
As they moved outside, there was a slight, then increasing buzz from all the people, and most turned to look at the group walking towards the head of the lake, and the seats there. There was a susurration of comments and Harry clearly heard "It's him!" and "The Chosen One" from all around him. He wished the ground would just open up and swallow him. He was glad he was in the middle of the group. He was sure that this arrangement was not by accident. Somehow it made it a bit easier.
They all made their way to the seats, and Harry found himself in the front row with Kingsley Shacklebolt on one side of him and Professor McGonagall on the other. The Weasleys were just behind him with Ginny directly behind him. He turned, and said, "I think I'm going to have to make a speech. I expect I'll have to say something about the last year. Just don't Bat Bogey me until after I've finished, okay?"
He got the ghost of a smile back. He smiled tightly in return. Each knew the other was feeling lousy, but there was little to do but carry on.
Gradually, all the seats filled, and on the stroke of eleven, the same tall minister who had officiated at Dumbledore's funeral stood up on the dais and spoke. Harry was hardly taking in what was going on. He thought it all sounded rather trite. Talking of "noble sacrifices" and "courage in the face of trouble" missed the point. Several minutes had passed, and suddenly, Harry's attention was caught by the minister saying, "I would now like to ask Mr. Harry Potter, the author of our present fortune, to speak."
Harry gulped. This was it. He had no idea what he was going to say, but walked forward woodenly. Then suddenly, one thing caught his mind—what had all these people given their lives for?
He stepped more firmly onto the dais and pointed his wand at his throat. "Sonorus," he muttered. He looked out over the rows of people. He knew what he wanted to say might not be popular with everyone, but he didn't care. It needed to be said.
"We are all here today to remember those people who gave their lives in the recent battle. We should also remember those who have lost their lives since the War began. A war that began over two and a half years ago, before Voldemort's return was even acknowledged. All of us have lost family or friends. Some of us have lost more than one. Why are all these people dead? How can we honour and respect their memory, and make a legacy worthy of them?"
"These people are dead because they chose to do what was right, rather than what was easy—not my words, those of Professor Dumbledore, himself a victim of the War. They chose to defend goodness and right in the face of lies, hate and evil. They chose the rights of all wizards and witches over the rights of one who would control everything we would do, and even who could be a wizard or witch. They paid the ultimate price for that choice, but they knew that it was right to make that choice."
"How we honour them will be defined by how we use the world they died to preserve. It will be defined by how we treat the rest of the magical community. In the War, I had help from wizards, witches, house-elves, a werewolf and goblins. Centaurs, more house-elves, and even a Giant fought alongside us. Thestrals, Hippogriffs and even a dragon came to our aid. Even among their ranks, many paid the price for fighting with us. Yet do we treat them as we should? My feeling is that we do not. My feeling is that we should."
"So now we have a chance to make the sacrifice that so many made worthwhile—to ensure that wherever we find something that is not right, we put it right, or struggle to make it so. Then we can make the world worth the sacrifice our friends and loved ones made. We can make the world what they fought so well and bravely for. We ourselves can be worth what they were and are."
Suddenly, Harry ran out of words. He removed his Sonorus charm and quickly moved back to his seat, to be replaced by Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Shacklebolt was looking down at Harry strangely, almost in admiration. Harry barely noticed. His own control of his emotions was being tested to the limit. He had barely managed to get out what he said, and he was struggling to contain the feelings he had let loose in himself. He did not look at anyone as Shacklebolt spoke, his deep, rich voice echoing over the grounds.
"Mr. Potter has said a great many valuable things today. Some of the words would have been my own, but I think he put them better. As a first step towards honouring those who fell, this obelisk…" He waved his wand, and a huge monolith, thirty feet tall, appeared behind the dais "… inscribed with the names of all those we lost in the battle fought here so recently, will stand as a monument to their achievement and sacrifice. This school, in the grounds of which we stand and which many of us attended, will be repaired at whatever cost, to continue to educate our young wizards and witches, and this monument will serve to remind them of the need to choose what is right over that which is easy."
He moved to one side, and motioned Professor McGonagall to join him.
"Let us now all stand, and in silence listen and reflect as the Roll of the Fallen is called."
Professor McGonagall stood up and unrolled a long scroll of parchment, and started reading the names in alphabetical order, pausing after each name was called. Harry could feel tears running down his face as familiar names came so often, picturing his last image of each of them. Too often, that image was of a corpse. He could hear Hermione crying quietly, and Ginny was crying too. He couldn't see her, but he could tell from her ragged breathing behind him.
When the roll had been called, Professor McGonagall stepped back to her seat beside Harry and sat down abruptly. The minister stepped forward and spoke of the great adventure beginning for those that had been killed, and of the next world. Harry wished he'd stop. How could he know? He hadn't even had the glimpse Harry had had. Eventually, the minister stopped speaking, and closed the meeting.
Kingsley Shacklebolt stood up again and said, "There will be a lunch served on the lawn in front of the main entrance before we disperse. I would also ask that we allow Mr. Potter, with whom I know many would like to speak, a chance to breathe, and to allow him to come to you if he can. Thank you."
As the crowd started to break up and drift towards the front of the castle, Harry again found himself surrounded by a tight knot of Weasleys, and enfolded in a huge hug from Mrs. Weasley.
"Harry, that was so well done," she said. "It helps make some sense of all this. Thank you so much. It means a lot…to all of us."
Harry tried to smile, but he couldn't quite manage it. He was still struggling internally with his feelings, trying to sort them out a bit. He felt a small hand slip into his and a gentle pressure, just as Mrs. Weasley let him go. He looked round at Ginny and saw she had her other arm round George.
"You keep telling it like that, Harry," said George. "It needs saying, even though I ought to rag you rigid for making it sound so… important. Fred would've given you hell for making him out as some sort of hero, but he would've liked the bit where you took a pop at the Ministry. Bumbling load of fools. Good one… thanks."
"Well, it's true," said Harry. "What we go on to do is how we truly remember them. They're only really gone if we forget them or what they fought for."
George gave him a sardonic half-grin and nodded as Percy came up.
"Harry, that bit about the War beginning before the Ministry even acknowledged it… you were right," he said. "I'm sorry. I should have known better and believed you. Fred might still be here if I had. I was being an absolute prat."
Harry looked at him and returned, "You mustn't blame yourself, Percy. None of us could have stopped what happened. I'm still trying to stop blaming myself, so I do know how you feel."
George was looking at them both, amazed. "Are you both feeling all right?" he asked. "You both sounded human for a moment." This time his grin almost reached his eyes.
"Ah, well, things to do, people to see. There's Galleons to be made in a crowd like this, and I wouldn't want Fred to think I was allowing the business to go to rack and ruin." He kissed Ginny on the cheek, saying, "Thanks, Gin-Gin." And then he moved off, closely followed by all of his family, except Ginny, who remained holding Harry's hand, and Ron, who was arm in arm with Hermione.
Ginny looked after him. "I hate it when he calls me that, but I'll let him off this time. He knows I hate it too, that's why he did it. He's hiding a lot still."
Ron said, "Why don't we see if any of the food is fit to eat? I never had much breakfast, but now the service is over, I think I could do with a bit."
"Yeah," Harry responded, "I think for once you're right. Food would be good. Besides, eating might slow my thoughts down, and I'm far too wound up now."
Hermione had been watching Harry almost as carefully as she had been watching Ron. "That speech took a lot out of you, didn't it? You were almost welling up at the end. You said a lot of good things. I took notes and I think it gives me some more ideas for what I want to do after I leave school." She reached into her bag and produced a sheet of closely written parchment. "That bit about treating the rest of the world and the rest of the magical community – I could use that in… ummm…" She added some more notes at the foot of the sheet.
Harry, Ron and Ginny just looked at each other. Ron shook his head. Harry and Ginny just grinned. Hermione was off on another crusade, they could tell. Harry also knew she was right. Speaking had taken a lot out of him, a lot he didn't know he had left. They walked off to the buffet tables that were absolutely loaded with food. Harry thought there would probably be enough to feed everybody there twice over.
Just as they reached the tables, Harry noticed a familiar face. As always, his stomach churned at the similarity. He turned, taking Ginny with him, and walked over. "Hello, Mrs Tonks. I'm glad you could be here."
"Hello, Harry," she replied. "I am glad too. I need to make sure I do the best I can for Remus' and 'Dora's memory. They're not entirely gone, you know. They've left part of themselves with me." She indicated a small cot at her feet, with a tiny infant in it stirring fitfully. "Allow me to present you both to your godson, Teddy Lupin."
"Both?" asked Harry, his eyebrows rising.
"Both," she confirmed. "'Dora asked Miss Weasley to be godmother about the same time as Remus asked you to be godfather."
"So we're both godparents then? I never knew that. I couldn't be prouder though," Harry said.
Mrs. Tonks reached into the cot and lifted the baby out. He stirred feebly and whimpered a little at the movement. "Would you like to hold him?" she asked.
She didn't wait for his reply, but held little Teddy out to Harry, who reflexively reached out for him. Suddenly, he was frightened. He'd never held a baby before and didn't know what to do. He felt awkward, nervous, and afraid he would hurt Teddy, or drop him or something stupid.
Ginny was beside him, saying, "Rest his head in your arm…so, and put your other arm…" She guided his hands. "…like that. That's better."
Everything seemed to fall into place, and Harry felt comfortable for a moment. Suddenly, he had an overwhelming sense of responsibility for this tiny scrap of humanity, and a gush of love and caring swept over him. He needed to ensure that HIS godson had a better start in life than he had had. He needed to make sure that Teddy never felt alone, or rejected, and would never be afraid to talk about his parents… that he had pictures to look at, and someone to tell him stories of his parents and the things they had said and done… and that someone would love him… all the things that Harry himself had never known. He WOULD NOT let this wonderful child walk the path he had trodden.
He felt a jolt, and felt his knees hit the ground. The shock didn't transmit to Teddy, who had changed his eye colour to match Harry's own green. Harry's eyes were streaming tears that he had not known he was shedding, and he heard himself say, as though from a great distance, "I want to be a good godfather. I want to be there for him, I want to teach him to know and be proud of his parents. Teach him about the wizarding world. Teach him to fly…anything. Mrs Tonks, if there is anything I can EVER do, you must tell me. I want to help."
He hugged the child gently to him, and the dam of his emotions suddenly broke. All the tears he had held back, all the feelings he had suppressed about his own past, were suddenly upon him, and a huge gust of pain intermixed with love swept across him. He was totally lost, unable to see or hear anything for a moment.
Ginny knelt beside him. "Harry, you need to hand Teddy back now. It's all right." She gently pried open Harry's grip and lifted Teddy away from him.
Harry still knelt on the ground, unable to control his emotions, and struggled to regain his grip on reality. Ginny knelt back down and hugged him, cradling his head against her chest. Harry was only aware that he had a mouthful of blouse button, but felt enormously comforted. Ginny kept stroking his head and cheeks until the storm abated. Gradually, Harry pulled himself together. He stood up again.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Tonks. I don't know what came over me," he said, blushing.
"I do," she replied. "Teddy and you have both suffered the same loss. It's been an emotional day already. I would be glad if you can spare a few minutes occasionally to visit. I am sure Teddy would love it. I could do with the company myself. Teddy's quite a handful usually, although I must say he's behaved beautifully today."
"Mrs. Tonks…" Harry started to say.
"Andromeda, please, Harry."
"Andromeda, I can get you a bit of help if you like. Would you like Kreacher to give you a hand about the house for a week or two?" Harry asked. "I know it might be a bit insensitive of me to say, but you've a lot on your plate right now."
"If you could spare him… yes, please."
"Kreacher," Harry called. The elf appeared as usual with a loud crack.
"Kreacher, I would like you to do me a big favour. This is Mrs. Andromeda Tonks. She is the grandmother of Teddy, the baby here. Teddy is my godson. She needs a little help for a couple of weeks. There have to be funerals for Teddy's parents, who were killed in the battle. Mrs. Tonks has to prepare for this on her own, and I would like you to help her."
"What is 'godson,' Master Harry?" Kreacher asked.
"Teddy's father asked me to help look after Teddy if anything should happen to him so that he couldn't," Harry explained. "Teddy's own father is gone, so it is up to me to help as much as I can. The best way I can do this at the moment is to ask for your help for Mrs. Tonks. I want you to go with her when she leaves and answer to her as you would to me for the next two weeks. I promise if I need you urgently, I will call you. Will you do this for me?"
"Of course, Master Harry. Kreacher is honoured to be asked to help in this way. It is a great trust to care for a child. Kreacher shall do his very best, and if he fails, Master shall punish Kreacher."
"You won't fail, Kreacher. Thank you for doing this," Harry said.
"Mistress Tonks, please call Kreacher when you wish to leave, and he will accompany you," Kreacher said, looking up at Mrs Tonks. "Kreacher will do as Master Harry asks, and help all he can." He vanished with a quieter crack than usual.
Mrs. Tonks looked at Harry, slightly teary-eyed at Harry's mention of her daughter and son-in-law. "Harry that would be a help. I am really grateful. Thank you for thinking of it."
"I think you need Kreacher more than I do for a while. If there is anything else that will help, I'm only ever a fire-call or an owl away," Harry responded.
Harry turned round and looked at Ginny. Teddy had woken up properly, and Ginny was playing with him. Harry watched Teddy try to grab Ginny's fingers as she wiggled them in front of him. Teddy's hair was now a glorious copper tone, echoing Ginny's own. There was no doubt whose son he was. Watching the two of them, Harry thought what a wonderful mother Ginny would make, if that was her first interaction with a baby. "Now where did that come from?" he asked himself. Harry and Mrs. Tonks watched Ginny for about five minutes. She was entranced with Teddy and seemed entirely unaware of them.
Eventually, Mrs Tonks said, "Ginny, Harry, I think I need to get Teddy home. It's nearly time for his feed, and then he will need a nap for an hour. He'll never sleep with all the bustle around here."
She lifted Teddy from Ginny's arms and settled him in his cot. "Thank you for being here. Thank you for what you said at the service. I'm sure we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other." She shook hands with Harry, kissed Ginny on the cheek, picked up Teddy in his cot and walked away.
Ginny was still looking a little starry-eyed. "He's a brilliant kid. I'm looking forward to watching him grow up."
"I think you're getting broody," said Harry, grinning.
"Shut up, Potter," she replied. "One more remark like that and I'll hex you!"
Nonetheless, she kissed him briefly and added, "Okay, Ron was right. We should eat."
