A/N: First off, I'd like to thank the following users: Katecherrypie, FactionMixer, and MimicPlus for the excellent reviews! Good reviews mean so much to me, and I really appreciate them, and I'm so glad that you all love my story! Second, some of you may hate this chapter because it is very emotional. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby! Be brave!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 4: Uriah
"So those who were affected by the memory serum were told that human nature is complex, all our genes are different, but neither damaged nor pure. But they were also told the lie. Their memories were erased in a freak accident, and that they were on the verge of lobbying the government for equality for GDs."
I nod as Tobias fills me in on what's happened in the last few days. But the truth is, I don't want to talk about it. Or think about it. I just want to forget about this whole thing completely and move on to a world of safety with him. But I know that I can't forget. I see and relive it almost every night. It's late afternoon, and Tobias and I have spent the day sitting on my hospital bed, talking, dozing off a couple of times, and yes- kissing. I can feel myself recovering a little more each day, and today I feel the best I have all week. It won't be long until I could get out.
"Where are you going to go?" I ask Tobias. "I mean, where are going to live?"
He sighs, and folds his hands in his lap. "I really haven't thought about it that much. I guess I was waiting for you to wake up so we could talk about it together." Tobias reaches for my hand. "What about you?" I really haven't thought about myself either. Who knows how long it could take to repair the new Chicago. But I'd like to live close to the place where I grew up. It makes me feel safe and surrounds me with warm memories. My mother smiling as she trims my hair. My father kissing me goodnight. Caleb humming to himself as he clears the kitchen table. I know that the factions are no longer going to exist, but I'd still like to feel that they are a part of me. They have always been a part of me.
"I want to go back to the city" I admit bravely.
Tobias puts his arm over my shoulders, and pulls me into him. "I think we can arrange that" he says. "But I don't think I can live anywhere near my old homes." Oh, that's right. I should've known. Of course Tobias wouldn't want to live near the place that haunts his nightmares to this day. I know that all he must see every time he looks at the gray houses on a quiet Abnegation street is his father slamming his mother into walls and feels the sharp sting of a belt hitting his flesh.
I sigh, and rest my head against his shoulder. "I don't want to live anywhere far from you" I say.
He looks down at me.
"I need you" I tell him.
I kiss him firmly, and he kisses me back, and slips his hands over my hips.
I am about to kiss him harder when Christiana bursts in. Her eyes are red and swollen, and her face is wet and tainted with tears.
"It's time," she says. "They're unplugging him."
My heart plummets. I almost forgot about Uriah's coma. I knew that he wasn't coming out of it, and it would be the smarter choice to just let him go. But now that it's actually time, I'm no longer sure.
Tobias sighs, and looks at the floor. "I'll go get a wheelchair for you," he barely whispers, as he pushes himself up from the bed.
I bite my lip and think of Uriah. His striking handsome features, his warm brown eyes and skin tone and jet black hair. And his bright smile. I will never again see his smile. Christiana pulls a chair over and sits next to me. She has never looked so exhausted and her eyes have never looked so empty. "I know that you guys spent a lot of time together," I say. "I know he meant a lot to you. I'm sorry"
Christiana looks at me. "I'm sorry, too. I know that you knew him longer than I did." Her gaze drifts to the floor, and for a while she says nothing and an eerie silence lies between us. "I thought that I was going to lose two of my best friends" she says finally, her voice cracking. "I thought I would never see you again either, Tris. We were all so scared."
A bitter taste fills my mouth as guilt saws through me. I still blame myself for putting not just Tobias, but all of the other people who care about me through that. "I know Christiana. But remember I promised, you'll never lose me." Christiana looks up at me, tears gleaming in her eyes. I smile, and reach my hand across the bed and clasp her fingers in my palm. "Never"
A few moments later, Tobias strides in with a wheelchair. Him and Christiana help me sit up and a nurse comes in and unhooks the IV tube from my arm. I have become so dependent on it these last few days that I feel dizzy the second it is removed, but quickly recover. Tobias slips his arms under my legs, which are useless, and lifts me up and carefully places me into the wheelchair. The room is spinning like a top now, and it feels uncomfortable in a new position as I try to ease into it. My arm and abdomen are throbbing, but it's not a painful throb like it was days before. "Hold on," I tell them. "I'm just going to get a little washed up." I use my good arm to wheel myself into the small bathroom. I look in the mirror, and a girl stares back at me. Her hair is knotted and unwashed. Her eyes are sunken and hollow. There are dark bags sagging from the corners of her eyes. And she is slumped uncomfortably in a wheelchair. I can't believe that girl is me.
After I wash my face and hair under the sink faucet, I wheel myself out to Tobias and Christiana. Tobias presses his hands on the wheelchair handles to get me moving, and Christiana follows us out of the room. "His family is here?" I ask Tobias as we go down the hallway.
"Yes, they haven't left his side since they came" he tells me. I nod, as a blanket of grief settles over me. I am really going to miss my friend. I close my eyes and see his comforting smile as I was strapped into my harness the first time we went zip lining. I push the memory aside and blink back tears.
When we reach the end of the hall, Evelyn and Cara are standing outside Uriah's room. I look through the observation window. Uriah's mother, Hana, and Zeke are standing on either side of the bed, holding one of his hands. I see a doctor standing by the heart monitor. David is sitting in his wheelchair right next to him. Hot anger courses through my veins. I want to hate David for all of the terrible things he has done. I can still hear his words he said to me about my mother in the weapons lab a few days ago: She was a foolish woman who didn't understand making sacrifices for the greater good, and it killed her! I cringe at the thought.
But part of me does not want to hate David. He is not the same person he once was. He is lost in his own mind, his memories forever erased. He doesn't remember my mother. He doesn't remember the experiment. He doesn't remember that he's the leader of the Bureau. He doesn't remember shooting me. Perhaps it's better that way.
"What's he doing here?" Tobias says, his voice strained.
"He is still technically the leader of the Bureau" Cara says.
"Are they going to replace him?" I ask.
"Eventually" Cara says.
Tobias tenses, and his hands curl into fists. He is obviously angered by David's presence. David signs a clipboard and wheels himself out of the room. When he does, Tobias gives him a cold stare, and I reach for his hand to stop him from lunging at him. "Tobias, don't" I warn. Tobias moves his gaze to our hands, and keeps it there.
"Guys, they're doing it" Christiana says.
I look through the window and see the doctor nod at Hana and Zeke. He flips some switches on the heart monitor, and I watch as Uriah's chest rises and falls, slowing down by the second. Zeke has let go of his hand, but Hana's is still holding on tight, unable to let him go. Tobias's grip on my hand tightens, and I squeeze back as we watch our friend slip away.
