4: "Goodbye Academy, Hello Torture"

Time makes everything a little strange, even more so than normal.

Yuuna had promised herself again and again that she would not get involved with anyone for her sanity's own sake and mostly had been doing well ever since she entered the Academy. No one messes with her, she gets her way, and more often than not, she gets to relax, even in the presence of classmates that more or less are the subject of her nightmares inspired by the near future.

Once in a while though... Ok, more often than not, in secret, she can't stop herself from maybe just making the blonde Uzumaki's life a little easier. Like distracting teachers from targeting the guy (which she can only do at times to avoid a pattern), leaving lunch for him to take during breaks... She had even made sure that the boy at least would have a quality-ish-standard living arrangement (it was hell trying to sneak a maintenance seal into that junk apartment of his, too). So far, no ones the wiser, and she liked it that way. Speaking of...

"Tomorrow is the Ninja School's Graduation Exam! You have failed the last two times! This is no time to be causing trouble, moron!"

'Damn it- Iruka's way beyond pissed this time. At this rate...' she watched as the orange-obsessed blonde yet again cross a line into snapping their sensei out of choosing mercy.

"Time for a review test on Henge no Jutsu!" the man instantly snapped in return. "Everyone line up and transform perfectly into me!"

'Ah crap,' Yuuna pursed her lips as she got up from her seat, forming the start of the line as is the normal for her character, meaning, a spoiled, rotten Akimichi that took her years of perfecting for the sake of not being too peculiar.

Not that it's baseless. Her Uncle Cho HAD spoiled her rotten.

"Alright, Yuu-chan," Iruka started, standing in front of the entire line and facing her. "Show me a henge of myself."

Scoofing pompously with a swish of her long black hair that she admittedly pampers in a daily ritual, the aforementioned Akimichi formed the handseal for the jutsu.

"Henge!" she more or less announced as she instantly took perfect form of her teacher, who was nodding and started writing something in a paper.

"Next, Uzumaki Naruto!" Iruka announced.

Walking back to her seat, Yuuna rolled her eyes as she heard what the others were saying to the poor kid.

"This is all your fault."

"Like I care," Naruto answered, a defiant frown in his face as he walked forward. "Ok, here we go!" and then yelled, "Transform!"

Yuuna pinched her nosebridge in dismay even before the prank took form.

'Seriously, this place is like a pervert's haven...' the brunette resisted the urge to throw something at the class idiot in annoyance as the blonde predictably got yelled at for the perverted jutsu.

"You dumbass! Don't invent stupid skills!" and with that, she tuned the rest out.

'Same, same. Just another day in Konoha,' she sighed as she mentally prepared for another day of stalking her Uchiha classmate home, along with the rest of the girls in class. 'The things I do for appearances...' and then glanced a look at said kid, seamlessly adopting the same dreamy look as the rest of the fangirls do. 'I mean, sure, he does look cute, I'll give him that, but even then it would take me a couple more years before I could actually appreciate and do something with it.'

The joy of experiencing puberty.

Again.

'I hate my life,' Yuuna inwardly groaned as the class was finally dismissed.

"Okaeri, Yuu-chan," one of her many aunts greeted genially as she entered their clan's estate later that day. "Did you have a good time at Uchiha-kun's?"

Yuuna twitched, grumbling incoherently as she sat down and started taking off her shoes.

'I fucking HATE fangirls...'

"Aa, I'm sure he will come around," her Aunt Yoko smiled kindly at her. "No one can resist Yuu-chan's charms for too long."

She didn't even want to think whether or not said aunt actually believed what she was saying.

She doesn't.

In fact, she hoped things would remain as it is and if permanently, she'll be happy indeed. It was the main reason why she joined in the stalking of the brat after all. It was an unwritten rule that fangirls are INSIGNIFICANT, which is what she wants deep in her heart so she could live in this world in peace.

She sighed.

"Is Chouji home yet?" she asked as she got up and started walking to the kitchen.

"Iie. Chou-kun had been invited to a play date with the Inuzukas, remember?" her aunt reminded.

Of course.

"Aa, did Yuu-chan forget already?" Yoko teased kindly before gently patting the black-haired girl in the head. "I seem to recall something about puppy stealing?"

"No," Yuuna negated with a furious flush going from her face down her neck.

'Stupid Kiba-' she grumbled to herself as her aunt continued giggling in the background. 'And I could've gotten that puppy, too, if he freakin didn't tell on me.'

"Aa, of course Yuu-chan. By the way, Sachiko said that she'll be staying late with Hyuuga-sama and Uchiha-sama for the festival planning this year. She said that you can take your time in the workshop this time but try not to stay up too late. Chouza-sama is going to be late with Council meetings, too, and your cousin Chouji won't be back until tomorrow," to which the Akimichi heiress just nodded, almost nonchalantly as she opened a bag of chips and took out a piece.

"Hai. I'll go to bed in time," Yuuna sighed in an exasperated manner.

"Oh and do come over our house if you don't have enough for dinner," Yoko frowned worryingly. "I know Sachiko had probably cooked you something but still, nothing's better than a fresh Akimichi meal."

"Okay, Aunt Yoko."

Let it be said that she has her own little projects during her free time.

Yuuna held the control matrix carefully and perfectly as practiced.

She couldn't fail.

This is the only chance she's got in securing a copy of all the jutsu scrolls from the Hokage Tower without no one the wiser. The Forbidden Scroll, the Hokage's personal collection...

She doesn't plan on using them after learning, as she has no plans whatsoever of being a frontline nin, but it never hurts to be prepared for anything.

After all, knowledge is a ninja's most dangerous weapon and her goal is to have as many weapons as possible.

'Finally..!' she breathed a sigh of relief as she completed the copying jutsu, courtesy of the seal she had earlier slipped in on one of Naruto's many pockets.

"Now get the hell out of there, Naruto..." she mumbled as she watched said blonde ran away from the tower, a large scroll in his back.

She tried not to think about the protection seal she'd also slipped in and made specially for tonight's events.

Nor did she remind herself of the guilt pooling deep in her gut.

'Ah hell, I'll make it up to him... somehow.'

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing here huh? Only those who passed are supposed to be here."

Yuuna watched as she resisted the urge to wince. Her entire body was in pain from practicing, and her class's constant noise-making was pushing her patience to the limits. Add the fact that her uncle was in the hospital for fatigue and you got one pissed off, barely in-control, emotionally volatile girl.

'This world is out to kill me...' she mentally groaned as an annoying pink-haired fangirl practically stole Naruto's seat beside the Uchiha. 'Somebody give ME a fucking BREAK!'

And then she froze. As did everyone else in the class.

"Naruto you bastard! I'll kill you!"

"Ahh! My mouth is rotting!"

"NaRu-TOh..!"

"It was an accident..."

Yuuna blinked, and blinked again.

'Wow... That was... Wow,' she inwardly snickered. 'Too bad I'm not a yaoi fan.'

"Alright class, settle down," Iruka announced as he entered the room, standing in front. "Beginning today, all of you are real ninjas. But, you are still merely rookie genin. The hard part has just started..."

On her seat, Yuuna suppressed the wince of discomfort she involuntarily did.

'The hard part huh...'

"You will soon be assigned duties by the village. So today we will be creating the three-man teams, and each team will have a jounin sensei," Iruka paused for emphasis. "You WILL follow that sensei's instructions as you complete the assigned duties. We tried to balance each team's strength," Iruka announced as he took out the list for the new team formations.

Inwardly groaning, Yuuna sighed in dismay as everyone around her started to complain as one by one, friends and enemies alike get sorted together.

"Troublesome," the Nara heir mumbled beside her. "And I suppose they didn't think some of us are already busy enough."

Yuuna narrowed her eyes at her soemtimes friend and partner of almost 5 years worth of training under the Hokage.

"You brought this on yourself, you nosy pineapple head," she couldn't help grumbling out.

Shikamaru gave her a sideways, lazy glance.

"You're really not letting that go, huh?"

And she can't.

Thanks to Madara's little excursion in the village a couple of years ago, and the Nara heir's little nosedive in business not his, she'd had to change certain aspects of her plans for the future.

This includes going to a psychiatrist for her PPD (the only excuse she could think of on the spot when the Hokage found out about her seals), being partially taught by the Hokage on certain lessons along with the nosy prick (which virtually pulled her up the visual range in the village, which is CRAP), and of course, being commissioned by said Hokage to research and restore the first two hokage's protective seals all over the village (IF the former didn't put a bounty on her head enough, this one must be giving heart attacks to Danzou).

Basically, ordinary meets defenestration.

'Decisions, decisions...' Yuuna resisted the urge to face-palm herself.

Years of careful planning down the drain, only to be labelled Hokage's apprentice along with a lazy ass bum, even if it's not common knowledge.

It still gets to her after so many years.

In the end, everything was as predicted. Team 7 was Team 7 and she... well.

"Team 1, if you would follow me please," their nerdy looking jounin sensei called out to them as everyone started to leave by groups.

'It could be worse,' Yuuna nodded to herself as she observed the rest of her obviously plot-insignificant team. 'This is exactly what I've been aiming for. Sort of.'

Oh, who the hell is she kidding?

'These guys are cannon-fodders.'

"Come again?"

"No way man! We've already passed the genin exam! You can't do this to us!"

"Yeah, you're not even in the bingo book! Are you even really a jounin?"

Yuuna pinched the bridge of her nose, trying hard not to smack the snot-nosed brats that were assigned as her teammates-to-be.

"Tokubetsu jounin, actually," Yashino-sensei adjusted his vest. "And no, the genin exam from the academy is not the REAL genin exam. It was just a way to weed out those that had no chance of making it in the first place."

"That's crap! Why weren't we told about it if that's the case? I'm out'ta here!" and then turned to leave, followed by the other.

"My father will hear about this!" the other announced before leaving.

"..."

"..."

"Well, looks like those two are not interested..." Uchiha Yashino, Yuuna recognized as the same one from the police scene years ago, trailed off in a sigh, turning to look at his remaining prospective student. "What about you, Yuu-chan? Would you like to proceed with the test? Mind you, without teammates, you'll probably be put on reserve even if you passed..."

"It depends," the brunette shrugged in reply.

"It depends?" the man looked confused for a second as Yuuna nodded.

"It depends whether or not I actually have a chance or is this a way to weed out students with no real shinobi future?"

The sharp look sent her way was enough to cut steel, and she couldn't care less.

This world screwed her over so she'll screw it right back.

Groan.

"I assume that your new senseis are working you hard then?" the Sandaime asked amusedly, watching as his two apprentice both looked dead on their feet, slumped over their tables with paper as bedsheets.

Twitch.

"Hm, perhaps I should not have instructed them to make sure you and your teammates are ready for the Chuunin Exams next year..."

Wince.

"But then again, becoming Chuunin would make it possible to put you both in the divisions I'm thinking you both should go to."

'Damn it,' Yuuna looked up from her slump to glare at the most powerful man in the village.

"Hokage-sama. Shut. Up," she outright ordered her superior.

Sarutobi Hiruzen laughed genially.

Shikamaru didn't even bother saying anything, pretty much not having even the energy to be pissed off with their new situation.

'Damn that Oni-sensei...' the brunette grumbled to herself, wincing as memories of the past few days came rushing at the forefront of her mind. 'Tokubetsu jounin, my ass... There's no way he's not in ANBU-'

"Crap," the brunette winced as she remembered something and got up to look through her to-do-list for the day.

"I was wondering when you would remember," the Sandaime smiled, almost vindictively out-of-character for a leader known for his kindness.

"You can't make me!" the lithe but exhausted brunette tried to run but tripped on her way out of the chair she was sitting on.

"Aa, I believe we've had this conversation about a few years ago," Hiruzen reminded.

Yuuna just whined pitifully.

"It's time for your physical training with Gai."

Shikamaru shivered in his seat

***PPD: Paranoid Personality Disorder