The next morning, I was woken by Kankuro knocking on my door. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head as his painted face appeared in the room.
"Damn, you sleep late." He mumbled, and poked my head between the sheets. I sighed and rolled out of bed, away from Kankuro's reach. I still didn't feel safe with him.
"How's Temari?" I asked while rubbing sleep out of my eyes.
He shrugged. "She's okay. This isn't the first time she's been tortured. How bout you, any nasty cuts I have to take a look at?" He grinned at my skeptical face.
"I'm just fine, Kankuro, now can you leave so I can get changed?"
He put on a fake pout. "Aw, do I have to?"
I threw a pillow at him and he laughed and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Stretching my arms out, I felt bruises where the chains had bound me the night before. I rubbed the spots and got changed, my mind mulling over Kankuro's comment about Temari.
As I nervously walked into the breakfast hall, I felt all eyes on me, but I was not introduced like the day before. I sat down next to Gaara and tried not to look at him, wondering how he would react to me now that he'd saved my life.
It wasn't long before I realized that he was ignoring me again, busy speaking with some Jounin about some idle economic topic. I pushed my food around my plate and wondered where Kakashi was.
As if on cue, the Konoha ninja appeared before us in a burst of smoke. He bowed to Gaara and apologized for his lateness, and took his seat.
He winked at me as he sat, or rather, blinked with his one visible eye. "Hey sweetie, how was your first day in the Sand?"
I grimaced and shook my head, not wanting to tell the story with Gaara so near. "Let's just say it was interesting." I muttered.
He gave a light laugh and leaned in closer. "I want to speak with you after breakfast, if that's alright with you."
I nodded, my curiosity showing in my face. Kakashi smiled and patted my hand, then turned to the man at his left to speak.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The rest of breakfast flew by in silence for me, which wasn't so bad because I had been starving. I scarfed down the meal and decided to visit Temari before speaking with Kakashi. After all, Temari should still be recovering.
As people began standing up to leave, I jumped up and walked out the back door. I was so focused on leaving that bleak breakfast hall that it took me a few minutes to realize I had no idea where I was. This part of the building was completely unfamiliar to me.
After wandering around for a few minutes amidst long maze-like hallways and locked doors, I began to notice a pleasant sound, music from somewhere above me. I found a set of stairs and followed my ears to a room where the music came from.
I opened the door quietly to see a man sitting on the sill of a large window, his face turned away and an acoustic guitar on his lap. I could tell it was Kakashi from his sloppy silver hair, but I could not see his face.
His fingers lazily strummed the guitar in a beautiful, slow tune that ate at my heart. The song was sad and spoke of deep pain.
I closed my eyes to devour the sweet sounds, deciding I now loved the guitar. I was far away in my thoughts when the music stopped and a voice broke the spell it had on me.
"I was wondering what took you so long, Seluni," Kakashi said, and I opened my eyes. His face was still turned from mine, and I suddenly got the feeling I had interrupted something private.
"I got lost," I explained, "You said you wanted to see me?"
The man stood up and placed the guitar against the window. His face, or what I could see of it, was expressionless as he stepped toward me.
"Let me get right to the point. I've been thinking about what you said about your lack of ninja skill, and I want to try something. Now don't get put off if it doesn't work, because I'm hoping I'm wrong."
"I don't understand."
He placed his hand on my shoulder and led me to the open window. There wasn't much wind coming from it because it faced a courtyard at the center of the building.
"Okay, now I'm going to show you the hand seals for one of the Lightning Country's ninjitsu."
"But I've told you, it's all useless for me-"
"I know. Just bear with me." He showed me the seals slowly and then did the move quickly, throwing up his hand at the last second to shoot out five blue bolts of lightning from his fingertips. The lightning shot into the sky and harmlessly faded away with a crack.
I sighed internally. This was the first move my father tried to teach me back at home. Most of the gennin at the academy learnt it at age ten. Although I passed every written exam the school offered, my inability to perform ninjitsu had me removed by that age.
As I lifted my hands to perform the seals, I saw Kakashi lift up his forehead protector out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over and froze. A scar ran down the side of his face straight over his left eye, which was a glowing red pupil speckled with black.
I stared at it, mesmerized for a moment, but snapped out of it when Kakashi gave a lighthearted, "What?"
I shook my head and returned to the seals. I had heard about the Sharigan eyes of one of the Fire Country's clans, but I had never seen it in person before. I thought the Sharigan was supposed to be in both eyes?
I finished the seals and lifted my hand with absolutely no hope of completing the ninjitsu. It wasn't that I didn't try; but that I had attempted it so many times I lost any faith in ever doing it correctly.
There was a moment of silence as I stood with my hand outstretched to the window. I lowered it and looked over at Kakashi, whose gaze was focused on me.
"Shit," he mumbled. "This is bad. Shit." He habitually lowered his protector back over his eye and stroked his chin, keeping his eyes on me without really seeing me.
I hadn't expected a reaction like that. I was used to sheer disappointment from my father. I was a bit angry for Kakashi for bringing up such a sore experience.
"What, Kakashi? What did you expect to happen? I told you I'm a failure at this sort of thing."
He turned his back to the wall and sunk down to his heels, rubbing his forehead.
"What a horrible mistake." He turned to me, and I put up my hands in a 'well?' gesture.
He took a breath. "One of the characteristics of the Sharigan is that it can detect the quality and quantity of chakra in a person. I had you perform that jitsu to bring out your chakra to detect its power. I'm afraid to admit that your chakra level is immense, well above the average chunnin."
I frowned. "What are you talking about? If I have so much chakra, why can't I do any jitsu correctly?"
"Ninjas are naturally adept to the type of jitsu of the country of their birth. Now, in your case, that's a big problem. You have tons of chakra but are immune to any teachings of Lightning Country ninjitsu. I'm not positive if I'm right in this, but I think it's safe to say that the reason you haven't learnt any jitsu is because you're being taught the wrong kind."
He paused to let the information sink in.
I stood silent for a minute, putting the pieces of the puzzle together in my head.
"So you're saying, the reason I can't learn Lightning jitsu is because it's not the country of my birth?"
Kakashi nodded sadly. "It's clear to my Sharigan that your abilities lay in a different type of jitsu, from a different country."
I felt faint on my feet. "Then – then where am I from?"
He shook his head. "Usually I can identify a person's country of origin, but your chakra is completely unknown to me. I can say that it's easily not from any of the five great countries, nor from other main ones. There is a chance your origins could be from overseas, but that's doubtful considering you were raised in Lightning, which has preferred to keep no connection to the east islands."
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my lip and realized I had been biting it forcefully during Kakashi's speech. Rubbing the spot with my finger, I thought of all this meant to me. I wasn't from the Lightning Country, what was my home was now an unfamiliar place. My father – he wasn't even my father! Did he have any idea I wasn't his? Would he disown me if he found out? Or was he purposely keeping it a secret from me?
I placed my hand on the windowsill to steady myself, and gazed out at the little courtyard. I didn't want this to be true, I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to run away from all this new information I never wanted to know. I turned to Kakashi, who was watching me again.
"I know this is a lot to handle, Seluni. But don't forget that you are the same person you always were. The past is sometimes better left behind." His gaze shifted off me for a moment, as if he was recalling a memory. "It's best we leave this between us, considering the intensity of the fact that you were brought here to bind the Lightning and Wind. If it was known you were an orphan from neither country, you would prove worthless to both."
Those last words stung, but I understood the truth behind them. I was sold to the Kazekage for a political reason, not as some arbitrary well-wishing gift. If Gaara even found out about this . . . he could not. Simple as that.
I took a step back from Kakashi. "I – I need to go . . ." I faltered.
He nodded and stood up, leading me toward the door. "Seluni, I told you this because you have a right to know who you are. But I am putting my complete trust in you not to tell a soul. Because if anyone found out, you and I are likely to be killed."
I stopped and looked inquisitively at him. "Why would you be killed?"
He smiled under his mask. "Because I was the one to arrange the marriage in the first place."
He shut the door, leaving me standing there stunned.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As I walked down another hallway, dazed in my new knowledge, I hardly felt myself bump into someone. I looked up and saw familiar cold blue eyes looking at me like I was something he stepped in. Apparently he had seen me and stopped walking, and I still walked into him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Gaara." I blushed, my mind racing with the secret I now kept.
"You realize, of course, that the banquet to welcome you here was planned for last night."
The banquet! I had forgotten about it completely after the events of yesterday.
"I'm sorry, Gaara, I forgot, everything that happened –"
"It has been rescheduled for tonight, considering circumstances were out of your control. But you understand it is unheard of here to postpone such an important event. You must act perfectly tonight to mend your reputation which you have so hastily damaged."
I remembered Temari once telling me that my image was a reflection of Gaara's. It suddenly occurred to me that when he saved me from Yaru, he wasn't really saving me, but his own status as Kazekage.
I felt a lump in my throat at this realization. But part of me wanted to prove it false.
"Gaara, I – I want to thank you for saving me. But why did you do it?"
He frowned and looked away. "I had to find you, as you are an important means of keeping the treaty with Lightning. But, I wanted to find you, because . . ." His face was hard to read, but I could swear he had become uncomfortable, like that night in my room before he became aggressive.
I suddenly realized how alone we were in the deserted hallway.
Gaara's eyes were on the floor.
"I don't understand any of this. When I look at you, I feel something new inside of me. Like I – I want to be a different person than I am. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's some sort of change, and I'm not good with change. Maybe that's why I wanted to save you. I want to figure out what this all means. I want to know why my heart stopped when I found out you were in trouble."
Shocked at his open honesty, I took his hand in mine. His eyes drifted back up to mine and I saw true pain in them. The arrogance of the Gaara a moment ago was gone. I felt my lips form a smile as I understood what he was trying to explain.
"It's okay to be afraid of change, Gaara, because change is what love is all about. And I think it's love that you feel."
His hand sprung away from mine as if he'd been burned. With wide eyes he took a step back from me and disappeared in a cloud of sand, which flew out the nearest window.
I ran to look out, but the sand had blow away in the wind.
A few minutes later, I plopped down on my bed face first, tears stinging my eyes. My fists gripped the blanket tightly.
I wanted to cry out all the pain from the day, but I couldn't find the strength. So I lay in my bed, wrapped in a numb confusion about Kakashi's revelation and Gaara's reaction to me.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I woke up hours later, sore from my position on the bed. I sat up and looked at the picture of my father on the nightstand. What would he think of me now, that I wasn't his daughter? I doubted bitterly that he would show any concern over my predicament, besides the fact that his bargaining chip with the Wind would prove useless.
I pulled open a drawer and took out some notebook paper Temari had given me. As I began to write to Aleitryi from back home, I knew I would have to tell her everything in some sort of code.
I was thinking up some way to disguise the info in a way only Aleitryi would know, when there was a knock on the door.
Kankuro's familiar painted face and large grin appeared. "Oh, so you're awake. You missed lunch and dinner. We had orders not to wake you."
"I appreciate that."
He scratched the back of his head. "Seluni, could you help me with something?"
