Peach sat stunned in her chair, staring at the blank static on the plasma screen. Her hand went to her mouth. "She's back," she whispered shakily. "Cyanara's really back. It's her."
She tried to think, but her mental state mirrored the condition of the television―absolutely meaningless. "...What to do?" she finally managed. "What can I do? If I step down, Cyanara will enslave my people. If I don't―" She choked up and did not finish the thought.
"We've got two weeks to find a way out of this, at least," Mario consoled her. "For now we can play the waiting game. Or rather, you can. I'm going to Glitzville." He stood up from Peach's bed.
Peach was instantly on her feet, blocking his path. "No, Mario! I can't let you do that!"
"Peach, please," Mario requested, "let me go."
"No!" she cried passionately. "I'm not going to let you go running off into danger any more! I've already let you go once today, and look what's happened to you because of it! No, I won't let you go!"
Mario sat back down with a sigh. "Peach, when will you ever understand?" he asked quietly. "You care about your people―I know you do. I care too. They need help." He met her eyes with an intensity. "Who's going to help them?"
Peach had no answer.
"Peach, keeping me here won't protect me," Mario reasoned. "If I don't stop the X-Naut invasion now, eventually they'll have us surrounded. Where will we run then?"
Again Peach was silent, contemplating the question.
"You can't run from the problem, Peach. The only way to beat it is to face it."
Peach sighed. "I know you're right, Mario," she admitted, "but...I don't know what could happen to you! What if―What if Penumbra kills you? What if Cyanara does? What if―What if I never see you again?!"
Mario stood and drew Peach into his arms. He held her tightly for a moment. "Peach," he whispered into her ear, "I'll be back. I promise."
"Mario," Peach sobbed quietly as she hugged him, "I don't want you to go! You―You're all I have to keep this place safe!"
Mario released the Princess from his arms and held her at arm's length. "Peach," he said seriously, "it's the castle or Glitzville. It's you or your people. And I know from past experience that you always place your people's safety above your own. I've lost count of the times you've put your life on the line to keep them safe. Now I'm the one doing the life-risking. I―"
"I won't let you go alone, then!" exclaimed Peach. "I'm coming with you!"
"No!" Mario's face betrayed alarm. "No, I can't let you come, Peach! Grodus and his X-Nauts are there, and so is Cyanara. I could never forgive myself if I lost you again!"
Peach hung her head and sobbed. Mario caressed her cheek.
"Peach, this kingdom needs you―"
"This kingdom needs you!" she shot back, crying. "How many times would the Mushroom Kingdom have been overrun if it weren't for you?! We need you, Mario!" Peach looked up through her tears and into Mario's eyes. "I need you!"
Mario was resolute. "Peach, I want you to stay here. As a Rainbow Guardian you can protect the castle without my help. If you can beat me, you can beat anything."
Peach gave a little smile through her tears.
Gently Mario tipped Peach's head up and kissed her tenderly. "I'll be back."
Reluctantly Peach allowed Mario to pass her. He exited the room, and she fell back into her favorite chair, weeping.
Mario, I'm afraid for you! her mind cried. Don't go! Please!!
As Mario sped through the halls toward the castle entrance, he felt a twinge of remorse. Why had he refused to let Peach come? Now that he thought about it more thoroughly, there really wasn't much reason why she shouldn't have come.
She's perfectly able to protect herself as a Guardian, he mused as he dashed out the castle gates. Maybe I should―no, it's better if she stays. She needs to guard the castle, and besides, I don't want her putting herself in danger unnecessarily.
His mind made, he picked up his pace and was soon well on his way down the main road. "The only way to Glitzville is the Cheep Blimp, and that's only found in Rogueport," he said aloud as he rushed down the road away from the castle. "Look out, thieves and gangsters, here comes Mario!"
After over an hour of brisk running, Mario reached his ill-reputed destination. The minute he stepped inside the city walls a red-suited Bandit nearly bowled him over. "Whoops, sorry, sucker!" the Bandit yelled over his shoulder, vanishing into an alley.
"Next time, find someone else's pocket to pick! Mine are empty!" Mario hollered after the fleeing Bandit. He started forward down the cobbled street, then caught himself. "...Empty? Great, I forgot to bring cash with me! How in the world am I supposed to buy a blimp ticket without money?"
Suddenly a thought struck him, and he snapped his fingers. "Don Pianta. If anyone can help me, it's him. No, wait, he retired as head of the Pianta Syndicate a while back. That would mean―oh, brother, I forgot. His son-in-law Frankie is running the show now. That brainless Pianta couldn't keep track of his own wedding ring. So now what do I do?"
As Mario stood musing in the street, two Piantas in black dress suits stuck their heads out of the alley behind him.
"You hear dat?" whispered one.
"He bad-moufin' da boss!" replied the other. "Let's teach dat bum a lesson!"
"Wait, ain't dat―dat Mario guy what done helped da old boss out so much?"
"Don't mattah. We gots our duty to da new boss now. Get 'im!"
Mario scratched his head. "Maybe I'll track down Don Pianta anyway and see what he can do," he concluded. "He usually hangs around the casino. I guess I'll check the place first." He started down the street again, intending to stop in at the Rogueport Casino and Arcade.
"Gotcha!" shouted the Piantas as they tackled Mario from behind, grinding his chin into the cobblestones. One held the plumber down while the other laid a few knocks on his skull.
"Oof! Ow! Ow! Ungh!" Mario yelled as his assailants banged him up. "What do you think you're doing?! Get off me!"
"Ain't NOBODY gonna wipe da name of da boss in da mud!!" roared the first Pianta, sitting on Mario's back a little harder. Mario yelled in pain as he felt his spine crackle under the enormous Pianta's weight.
A final crack to the side of his head made him see stars. Dazed, he dimly felt his hands being tied behind his back.
"We gonna take dis losah in ta see da boss," he heard vaguely.
"Nah, let's just lock 'im up. He deserves it fo' talkin' bad."
More conversation drifted through Mario's dazed mind. "Da boss would wanna hear dis guy's talk first! Mebbe give 'im somefin' ta REALLY get mad at!"
"Just toss 'im in da slammah!"
"No!"
"But da boss wants us ta watch fo' more o' dose X-goons! He's busy interrogatin' dat one we's already caught!"
What? Mario thought groggily. They caught an X-Naut? I gotta―
The first Pianta's fist smashed onto Mario's cap, hammering his jaw into the street, and everything went black.
About fifteen minutes later he awoke to find himself being dragged into a drab stone building. He remained limp in his captors' powerful grip, not letting on that he was again conscious. From beneath half-closed lids he peered out at his surroundings and saw dozens of barred steel cells lining countless hallways.
Prison, he thought with a mental groan. Just great. A lot of good I can do locked in a jail cell while Glitzville is razed by the X-Nauts. How am I gonna get out of here?
The burly Piantas stopped in front of an open cell and pitched Mario inside. "Youse kin just rot theah fo' a while while we gets da boss in heah to let youse have it," offered the first gangster snidely. He slammed the barred gate down, sealing Mario inside the cell.
"An' he ain't gonna be nice ta a loudmouf like youse," added the second. The two Piantas the walked back out of the building, leaving Mario lying behind the bars in a heap.
As soon as he heard their footsteps fade away, Mario got to his feet and walked to the edge of his dank cell. He grasped the steel bars that held him prisoner and shook them to test their strength.
"Solid," he sighed. "No way could I break those. Looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while."
He sat down heavily on the dirty mattress provided for him to sleep on. Looking up, he noticed a small barred window cut into the stone wall. He gazed out the window at the colorful passersby for a while, the brightness of outside more appealing to his eyes than the bland gray dimness of his cell.
Suddenly he caught sight of a gray cloak in the midst of the colorful crowd on the street. Something about that cloak sparked recognition in his mind, and he jumped to his feet and rushed to the window, staring at that cloak, that gray hooded cloak that looked so familiar. The cloak's wearer was petite, youthful, a female by her blue skirt, but her back was toward him and her face was not visible. Then the girl in gray turned, and from under the shadows of her hood Mario could see two fearful eyes staring directly at him. She passed out of sight, and Mario returned to his seat on the mattress, puzzled.
"...She knew I was here," he murmured, puzzling over the mysterious girl in gray. "I'm sure I've seen her before, but I can't remember... Was that really her?"
Mario's mind went back to an incident just three days past. He and Peach had been scaling Star Mountain together. A stone slab had shifted beneath Peach and sent her plummeting toward her death nearly a thousand feet below, but someone had caught her and saved her from her fate. Someone in a gray cloak. Someone with those same fearful, vacillating eyes.
He returned to the present from his world of thought. "That's the same girl who saved Peach―I'm sure it is," he mused. "But―what is she doing here in Rogueport?"
Abruptly loud voices echoed from the prison's entryway, interrupting Mario's musings. He could make out three voices. Two he recognized as belonging to his Pianta captors. But the third―? Mario listened closely as the voices drew nearer.
"...yeah, Boss, he done spouted off at da mouf 'bout you," offered the first Pianta.
"Called youse all sortsa nasty names," added the second.
Liars, Mario thought with a frustrated sigh.
"Take me to 'im!" barked the unfamiliar third voice. "NOBODY is gonna insult Big Frankie and live ta tell about it!"
"Dis way, Boss," replied the first Pianta hastily, and his footsteps sped up.
"Here comes 'the boss,'" Mario said under his breath. "Guess I'd better brace myself for a tongue-lashing...or worse."
Just before coming into view, the voices' owners stopped, their shadows falling on the floor in front of Mario's cell. The two shadows on either side were standard-sized Piantas, but the center image was bigger, stronger, more muscular than average.
That is some build he's got there! Mario thought, somewhat impressed.
"I know youse is in dere, you little street rat," rumbled the unidentified voice. "I'm comin' fo' youse, so prepare ta meet yo' Makah!" The hulking owner of the voice stepped out where Mario could see him. Instantly Mario recognized the big blue Pianta.
"Frankie?!"
"DOAN YOUSE 'FRANKIE' ME!" roared Frankie. "We ain't on no first-name basis heah!"
"Don't you recognize me?" Mario pleaded.
Frankie stopped his ranting and peered closely at the plumber. His eyes widened.
"Mario?!"
The big Pianta smiled hugely. "If it ain't Mario!" he exclaimed. "I nevah thought I'd be seein' youse again! Boys, get Mario outta that cage!" The two underdogs quickly obeyed, opening the barred gate and releasing Mario from the cell.
"Man, Frankie, you sure have beefed up since I saw you last!" Mario chuckled at his old friend. "Must be some training regimen you've got!"
Frankie laughed. "'Big Frankie' beats plain ol' 'Frankie' any day, 'specially when I gotta deal with liars like dese two." His smile vanished, and he glared at his two grunts. They ran like scared rabbits.
"Actually, they weren't completely lying," Mario confessed. "I did make a comment―to myself―about the time you lost your own wedding ring. I guess that's not supposed to be...public knowledge?"
"Forget it," ordered Frankie with a dismissing wave of his hand. "That was Francesca losin' her ring, anyway, not me losin' mine. I kin still see the look on my girl's face when she foun' out it was gone." He chuckled. "Come one over ta my office, Mario. I got coffee on, and youse kin tell me why youse is heah."
The big Pianta led the way out of the prison house and out into the street, heading west down the cobbled avenue. The pedestrians, seeing Mario with the head executive of the famous (or infamous) Pianta Syndicate, quickly made way for the two celebrities to pass.
As the two passed a narrow alley, Mario felt eyes boring into the back of his head. He turned and saw that same gray-cloaked girl watching him with fearful, hunted eyes from the shadows of the alley behind him.
"What's da mattah, Mario?" asked Frankie, noticing Mario's halt.
"That girl," Mario replied, pointing, but when he looked again, she was gone.
Frankie followed Mario's finger with his eyes. He, too, saw no one in the alley. "Just another one o' them pesky Bandits," he concluded, starting down the street again. Mario followed, but he kept looking back at the alley. He felt that he was being watched, and the feeling was not at all comfortable.
At last Mario and Frankie reached the far west end of Rogueport. They entered a shop by the town wall. The owner, seeing Frankie, immediately unlocked the back door of her shop, and Mario and his executive friend entered it. They were now in a narrow triangular courtyard against the city wall. A stone staircase led up to the second floor of the building adjacent to the shop, and the two climbed this staircase and entered Frankie's plush second-story office.
"Sit down an' relax," he invited as he plunked himself down behind his mahogany desk and shut off the coffee maker. Mario seated himself in front of the desk, and Frankie handed him a steaming cup of coffee.
Mario dragged his sole across the thick red carpet. "I'm here about the attack on Glitzville," he began, leaving his coffee untouched. "I heard you caught an X-Naut...? he asked hopefully.
"Yeah, mah boys nabbed 'im." Frankie took a long swig of his coffee. "He's locked up in back o' my office."
"Could I talk to him?"
In answer, Frankie stood up and motioned for Mario to follow him. He went to the window at the back of the office and reached under the sash.
"Betcha ya never thought dis was a door, did ya?" Frankie said with price as a cleverly-disguised door with the window at its center swung open, revealing a dimly-lit back room almost entirely bare of furnishings. A single hard-backed chair stood in the center of the room, and tied to it was an X-Naut soldier. He stared at Mario as Frankie and the plumber entered the room.
"Dat's him," Frankie said briefly.
Mario faced the captured trooper. "Why are you attacking Glitzville?"
"The Great One will rule all," droned the X-Naut.
"Why are you attacking Glitzville?!" demanded Mario.
"The Great One will rule all."
"Tell me!" Mario exclaimed hotly.
The X-Naut repeated his pointless statement.
"Dat's all he's ever said ta us," Frankie explained. "We can't figure out what he's tryin' ta say."
"I know good and well what he's saying," Mario replied grimly. "'The Great One' is another title for Empress Cyanara, the one who made the news camera black out on MKNN. She's trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom."
"Take ovah?! Den we's gonna fight her ta da very end! Nobody takes ovah da Pianta Syndicate wit'out my say-so!" Frankie grabbed Mario. "What kin I do to help youse fight her off?"
"I need a blimp ticket so I can get to Glitzville!"
"Screw da blimp! Too slow!" Frankie ran back into his office and returned moments later. "My boys is on da roof wit' my personal choppah. Dey'll fly ya ta Glitzville pronto!"
"Y-Your private helicopter?! But Frankie―"
"Go, Mario!" insisted Frankie. "I know you―youse kin handle dat mess up dere! So hurry up and mop da floor wit' dat Great One!"
Mario hastily shook Frankie's hand and raced back into the office. Frankie followed and shut the door tightly, leaving the X-Naut prisoner sealed inside the darkened room.
Slowly, painfully, the X-Naut twisted his arm around beneath the coils of rope binding him to the chair, straining to get his hand into his pocket. At last, with a final twist and another pained wince, he succeeded. His gloved hand closed on a tiny object. He pushed a button on that object and, craning his neck down, groaned a message into his collar.
"X-Naut One calling base. X-Naut One calling base. Mission accomplished...Mario's on his way."
Mario scrambled onto the roof of the office as the chopper's engines began to warm up. He leaned into the powerful wind swept up by the whirling propeller blades and made a dash for the copter's side door. A Pianta in a black suit and sunglasses threw the door open from inside, and Mario leaped in and slammed the door shut, muffling the screaming engines a little.
"Glitzville, and fast!" Mario shouted to the pilot over the noise.
The identically-dressed Pianta at the controls nodded and began to lift the helicopter off the roof. The straining propeller blades bit into the air, slowly but surely carrying the craft aloft. At last they were clear of the roof, and the pilot swung the chopper's nose around toward Glitzville and applied forward power. The chopper responded by starting forward, accelerating toward the flying city some miles away.
They flew over the unbroken ocean for several minutes. "I always thought it was kinda dumb to build a flying city over the ocean," Mario said to himself, the engines drowning out the words. "What happens if it falls out of the sky? Everyone in the place would drown!"
At last the chopper came within sight of Glitzville. Flying up to the edge of the city, the chopper landed there, close to the long drop into the sea below. Mario jumped out.
"We's gonna stay heah so youse kin get back ta Rogueport. Da boss told us to," offered the pilot.
"Thanks. I hope I won't be long!" Mario turned and dashed away through the rubble of the nearly-flattened city, keeping a sharp eye out for the enemy―those X-Naut invaders. It wasn't long before he found them.
Or, rather, they found him.
"Attention all units!" barked an Elite X-Naut into his radio. "Mario's been spotted in the east district! Neutralize threat! Repeat, neutralize threat!" He shoved his radio back into the pocket of his black-and-red uniform and cried to his troops, "After him! Don't let him get away!"
Mario whirled around and dashed in among the remains of the residential sector. Many of the houses, though blackened and roofless, were still standing, affording him countless hiding places. He waited, breathless and silent, in one of the gutted homes, expecting his pursuers to follow.
They did not. The Elite X-Naut got on his radio again and contacted the giant black UFO hovering over the city.
"Huh?" That's weird. They're not chasing me!" Mario wondered under his breath.
There was a distinct mechanical noise overhead, as if someone were opening the world's biggest garage door. Mario looked up at the X-Naut mothership and gulped when he saw a gigantic laser weapon embedded in the saucer's underbelly. Its firing end was already glowing yellow as it charged up for a shot at Mario's hiding place.
"YIKES!" Mario leaped from his hiding place just moments before the broken-down house was vaporized by a huge yellow beam from the mothership. Again and again the mammoth weapon fired its giant beams at the frantically-dodging plumber below, laying a blanket of destruction over the already-ruined area.
"Negative, target intact!" the Elite X-Naut reported at length. "Cease fire―we'll corner him first!" The X-Naut officer looked up from his radio. "Huh? Where'd he go?"
Mario was running as fast as he could to get away from his pursuers. He saw the remains of the Glitz Pit battle arena ahead and ran toward them, intending to take cover in one of the steel-walled storage rooms.
The sliding glass doors had been shattered to bits, allowing Mario to step right into the arena's once-elegant lobby. The polished tile was blackened and cratered, the velvet rugs charred, the walls shot through. THe door to the arena was blocked by timbers from the demolished balcony above it. It was deathly silent.
Suddenly from the back halls burst dozens of X-Nauts, all shouting and yelling at the surprised Mario. The plumber turned to run but found his escape cut off by more X-Nauts outside running toward the Glitz Pit. He went into his battle stance, ready for his enemies.
X-Nauts went flying everywhere as Mario began dishing out knuckle sandwiches to all comers. He leaped onto the heads of his enemies, stomping across the room in the domino effect and leaving a trail of squashed X-Nauts behind him
"Got to get into the arena!" he said through his teeth as he bashed his way through a solid wall of X-Nauts. "There's no room to fight in here!"
Mario waded through his attackers and into the back hallway, which circled the main arena and came back out on the other side of the lobby. A solid mass of X-Nauts greeted him as he fought his way into the hall. A tremendous shout went up from the legion, and they rushed Mario as one.
Mario readied his fists, but he wasn't expecting his foes to leap up on top of him, which was exactly what they did. The plumber was knocked flat by a horde of flying X-Nauts, and he felt blows being rained down on his prone form. He desperately flailed his fists about, swatting the angry soldiers off him. Getting his footing, he charged straight ahead through the mass of enemies toward the arena doors far down on the left.
An X-Naut leaped onto Mario's back and wrapped his arms around his neck. Mario gagged as his Adam's apple was crushed, and he reached back and slugged his pesky hitchhiker in the head, sending him flying.
More X-Nauts took the cue, leaping at Mario and clinging to whatever part of him they happened to hit―arms, legs, feet, neck, chest, even his head. Mario had X-Nauts covering him from head to toe.
"GET OFF ME!!" he roared at his attackers, hurling himself face-first into the wall. The X-Nauts attached to his frontside were stunned by the crushing blow and fell off him. Mario repeated the process by smashing his back against the wall as well, ridding himself of the rest of his clingy assailants.
Now free of his attackers, Mario raced to the arena doors and threw them open. He stepped into the huge stadium. The place was empty. The hundreds and hundreds of bleacher seats were vacant. The centrel fighting platform was conspicuously bare.
The remaining X-Nauts in the hall immediately clustered around the doors and pushed them shut behind Mario, locking him inside the arena. He turned, surprised, but was too late to stop them.
"O...K, looks like I'm wanted in here," Mario said to himself. "What have they got in store for me this time?" He moved hesitantly forward, cautiously mounting the steps up to the battle platform. Gingerly he set foot on the platform, half-expecting something to jump out and attack him. Nothing happened. He started to breathe a sigh of relief, then caught himself.
"...Wait a minute," he said under his breath. "Something's not right here. This place wasn't even touched by the rocket bombardment. The whole arena is intact, but the front lobby was demolished. Something's fishy..."
Suddenly the platform began to rumble beneath his feet. He back up to the edge as he saw the center of the platform sinking into the basement of the Glitz Pit. A minute of suspenseful waiting seemed an eternity to Mario. Then, up from the basement, riding atop the platform center, rose a huge robot, a box with accordion-like arms and legs. A glass dome atop its body served as a head. The main body was yellow with a large blue X emblazoned across its chest. Its arms terminated in long antennas.
"Whoa," Mario breathed, staring at the metal beast.
A familiar horned purple face appeared inside the glass canopy. "Looks like the plumber decided to drop in on me after all! Buh huh huh huh huh!"
"I know that laugh," Mario muttered. He raised his voice.
"Lord Crump!!"
Crump grinned from the cockpit of his robot. "Yeah, it's me! The one and only! Buh huh huh! I'm here to shock you into submission to Empress Cyanara!" The robot lurched threateningly toward Mario. "Behold the might of Magnus von Grapple version 7.9863!"
"Your robots' names get more lame with every repetition," Mario replied with a roll of his eyes. "Why don't you just send that heap of scrap back to the junkyard, where it belongs?"
"Stun guns, FIRE!" bellowed the X-Naut second-in-command. Magnus von Grapple aimed its antennas at Mario and shot twin bolts of electricity into his body. The shock knocked Mario over and left him stunned for a few seconds.
"Buh huh huh huh! Yeah, eat that! ELECTRO CANNON!!" The chest of the robot opened up, revealing a deadly-lookig blaster. The next instant the cannon fired a huge ball of electricity directly at Mario. The still-dazed plumber managed to roll out of the way just in time, and the electricity sphere disintegrated harmlessly upon impacting the platform. Mario scrambled to his feet, ready for the next attack.
"C'mon, you can't beat this baby!" taunted Crump. "Give it to 'im, Magnus! MAGNUS MAGNET!!"
Suddenly Mario felt his feet being dragged along the platform toward Magnus. "H-Hey! What gives?" he yelled as he attempted to fight the suction that was drawing him toward his foe.
"Pull him in! Pull him in!" chanted Crump in glee. "Buh huh huh huh huh!"
"No―you―don't!" Mario said through his teeth, straining to stay in place. "Take this!" He hurled a few fireballs at the robot's armor, but they bounced off without having an effect.
"Heh, this baby's fireproof!" chuckled Lord Crump from his cockpit seat. "This thing was built just to fight you! Nothin' you've got will work! NOTHIN'! BUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!!!"
"Then how about some ice?" Mario hurled ice balls rather than fireballs, but Crump zapped them out of mid-air.
"Magnus Magnet, FULL POWER!!" bellowed Crump as he shoved the magnetism lever to its highest setting. Again Mario found himself being dragged across the battle platform, only faster this time. He dug in his heels but could not resist the magnetism that was sucking him toward Magnus von Grapple's elecrically-charged zappers. Crump laughed. "Buh huh huh! I got you now, Mario! No escape for you!"
Mario set his jaw grimly and allowed himself to be pulled in. Just as Magnus's zappers were about to shock him silly he leaped forward and collided face-first with the robot's torso, his momentum knocking it flat on its back. Crump's head smashed through the top of the glass canopy. The magnetic field shut off, and Magnus von Grapple v.7.9863 lay inactive on the Glitz Pit battle platform.
Cautiously Mario got to his feet atop the fallen machine. He looked down at Lord Crump, halfway through the broken glass dome, bloodied body silent and still.
"He's dead..." Mario felt an inexplicable heart-wrench despite the fact that Crump had been his enemy. "I...I wasn't trying to kill him..."
Suddenly he heard a faint voice from inside the cockpit. "...come in, X-Naut Black! Magnus von Grapple's signal was terminated. Give explanation!"
Mario pondered for a moment, then hopped down to Crump, lugged his body out of the cockpit, and crawled into the cramped cockpit of Magnus von Grapple. He squeezed himself into the seat―since the robot was on its back, Mario had to lie on the seat back with his knees in the air―and looked for the radio.
The black box to his left squawked again. "Come in, X-Naut Black!"
Mario reached over and pushed the call button. "X-Naut Black here. Uh...Magnus kinds dumped himself onto his back and shut down when he hit the floor. I'm working on getting him back on his feet. Over."
"Huh?" asked the radio voice, puzzled. "Lord Crump? You're sounding...weird...kinda like Mario, almost..."
Mairo thought fast. "Uh...Buh huh huh huh!" he said in his best imitation of Lord Crump's pathetically-insane laugh.
"That sounds more like you, Lord Crump, dude...uh, sir. Hurry up and get Magnus working―Mario could show up in there any second!"
"Don't go givin' me orders, soldier!" barked Mario in his Crump impression. "I'm doin' just fine. Mario's no match for my mean machine!"
"Yeah, dude―uh, sir―he's toast this time for sure! You and Magnus are unbeatable!"
Mario grunted and shut off the radio, then convulsed with laughter. "I can't believe those idiots actually fell for it! Now, if I can just get this thing working again―"
His foot inadvertently pushed a lever marked Activate.
The next thing Mario knew, Magnus von Grapple was hauling itself to its metal feet with surprising speed, nearly pitching Mario forward through the already-broken cockpit canopy.
"Wh-Whoa!!" exclaimed Mario when the robot was upright and again motionless. "Guess I'd better buckle my seat belt. This thing moves fast!"
Mario looked over and saw the shoulder belt near his left shoulder. He reached over and grasped the belt to pull it down across his chest. But―well, Mario wasn't exactly watching where his arms were in the cramped cockpit, and when he pulled the belt down across his chest, his elbow hit the control panel and pushed a button marked Boosters.
Instantly Magnus von Grapple began to rumble like a rocket on the launchpad, shaking Mario until his teeth were ready to fly in all directions. Mario's hand, jostled about by the runbling and roaring, barely managed to snap the shoulder strap into its socket, thus buckling Mario in.
"W-W-W-W-Whooooaaa!" Mario cried as he was bounced about in the confines of the cockpit. "How do you turn this thing off?!"
With a final violent rumble Magnus belched flames from the soles of its metal feet and lifted off the battle platform like a space shuttle, heading straight for the high domed ceiling of the arena. Mario looked up through the jagged hole in the glass canopy and gulped.
"Where's the steering?!" Mario seized a joystick on the right-hand side of the control panel. "Here's hoping!" The roof was rushing toward him dangerously fast. He jerked the stick in all directions without affecting Magnus's trajectory, but as he smashed the joystick to all sides, he noticed Magnus's arms moving with his input.
"Whooooooooooooaaaaaa!!!" Mario hauled back on the joystick, pointing Magnus's arms straight up at the ceiling, and hammered his fist down on the Fire button.
Magnus von Grapple's zappers blasted a hole in the ceiling just moments before the robot barreled through the roof and out into the open sky above Glitzville. Mario sank back in his seat and heaved a sigh of relief.
"That was TOO close," he quavered, a relieved smile breaking onto his face. "Now how doyou steer this thing?"
Magnus continued rocketing ever higher as Mario perused the control panel. Finding a button labeled Manual Override, the plumber pushed it and found that Magnus's entire body now responded to the motion of the joystick. He pushed another button marked Hover and halted the robot's climb into the sky.
As he hovered high above the flying city, Mario reviewed his options. "Either I ditch this thing, or I land and take on the X-Nauts in the city, or I try to get into the flagship. This thing's a shame to discard since it's still usable, and if I land, the flagship's laser cannon will blow me to kingdom come. Looks like I'm headed for the flagship." He flicked the radio on and assumed his Lord Crump voice.
"X-Naut Black to base! This here war machine took some damage whe he fell over. I'm comin' in for repairs."
"Wh-Whuh?" spluttered the voice on the other end. "B-But Lord Crump, the flagship isn't equipped to repair Magnus von Grapple! There was too much heavy equipment needed, and we had to leave it all back at the moon base so this ship could actually fly!"
"I said I'm comin' in―open the hatch, loser! I don't care if you glue this thing back together. I'm not goin' to fight Mario in some beat-up jalopy! I'm gonna WOW him dead with this tough cookie!"
"Y-Yes, dude, uh, sir, right away, dude!"
Mario shut off the radio and chuckled to himself as he flew Magnus straight toward the huge black X-Naut saucer. As he neared it, he saw a large panel on the upper surface slide back to reveal a large hangar within. Mario piloted his "borrowed" X-Naut machine down through the entrance and touched down flawlessly in the empty hangar.
"Now how am I supposed to get out of this thing?" Mario asked himself after shutting Magnus down. He reviewed the control panel. "I don't suppose it would be the big red button marked Eject, would it?"
Mario shrugged and pushed the button. The next thing he knew the glass canopy had popped off the cockpit and his seat was flying straight up toward the ceiling. His head came within millimeters of the lofty steel ceiling; then he came crashing down onto the floor, still buckled into the seat, and lay there on his back, stunned for a moment.
"Ouch." He unbuckled his seat belt and slid his body along the seat back until he could roll over and get to his feet. His steps echoed with hollow clanks as he moved across the deserted hangar to the door he'd spied off to his right.
Reaching the door, he pressed the green button next to it, and the door panel slid back into the wall, allowing Mario to pass through. He did so, and it swished shut quietly behind him.
The gray steel hall was empty. The only sound was the dull hum of the X-Naut saucer's engines. Mario turned right and ran along the hall, looking for another door. There it was. He quickly passed through it and into another gray hallway.
Suddenly he froze as a network of lasers blocked his path. He turned to backtrack, but another security laser barrier fenced him in from behind.
"Trapped!" he exclaimed. "If I trip those beams, I'll probably set off the alarm system! Now what?"
Abruptly a panel in the ceiling slid back, and a security scanner lowered itself into view. A female voice spoke from the camera-like machine.
*Please remain still. Security scan commencing.*
A wide red laser fanned out from the scanner and swept back and forth over Mario several times, then shut off.
*Identification positive. Please proceed.*
The security scanner retreated into the ceiling, and the latticework of lasers in front of Mario shut down, allowing him to go forward but not backward. The red light above the door at the far end of the hall turned green, signaling that the door was now unlocked.
"'Identification positive'―I don't like the sound of that," Mario muttered as he moved forward toward the door. "I've been expected, it seems." He halted before the sliding door. "There's only one person who would have the foresight to rig up a system like that. And that―"
He smacked the door-open button, sliding the door panel open and revealing a large circular room surrounded by a crackling green energy dome. A solitary figure stood in the room's center. He wore a black helmet that housed a powerful computer, rigged to increase his intelligence to unbelievable levels. His black robe hung almost to the floor, and it was open in front to reveal the X-Naut insignia―a white X on a red field. A gold staff topped with a blue orb was loosely held in his gloved hands.
Mario stepped into the room. "―That would have to be Grodus."
"Sir Grodus to you, Mario." The X-Naut commander smiled cynically, eyes sparkling behind his thick goggles. "I apologize for skipping the introductory monologue, but my time is short. I'll try to make this brief." He stepped toward Mario. "You have been deceived! This entire operation was nothing but a ploy to get you away from the castle while Her Imperial Highness Cyanara renews her acquaintance with Princess Peach!"
Mario whirled around to escape the room, but the door slid shut in his face. The green light over the door turned red, locking Mario inside. He turned on Grodus.
"Y-You―you dirty X-Naut!!"
"Gaack ack ack!" cackled Grodus maniacally. "Yes, it's true! This whole setup was a trick―and you walked right into it like the fool you are! Gaack ack ack ack ack!!"
Mario desperately hurled himself against the door, but it refused to budge.
"The door is impenetrable," Grodus informed him cruelly, "and the energy field will kill you instantly should you attempt to pass through it. You are trapped―trapped while Empress Cyanara has her way with Princess Peach!"
"YOU EVIL MONSTER!!!" Mario shouted at his enemy. He felt a raging anger burning in his soul. "Of all the dirty tricks! I WILL rescue Peach from that devil of a woman, and if you insist on getting in the way―then prepare to be SMASHED!" He doubled his fists threateningly.
"Very well, Mario. But even if you kill me, you cannot stop the Empress. She will rule over all!" he cackled. "Gaack ack ack! Now―you DIE!!"
