I drag my feet through the rocky sand and inhale the salty sweet scent of the ocean. Every so often another icy wave crashes over my feet, and soon they're starting to feel numb, but that doesn't stop me from walking. It's in the low forties at most, and the ocean is barely above freezing, but I just ignore that as I wander down the beach.
I've spent almost every day of every summer just like this- on the beach. But today, there are a few differences. Aside from the unusually cold weather (even for the Olympic Peninsula), I'm usually here later in the day, and Seth is usually with me. But that was in another lifetime, back when Jacob's hair was long, the Cullens were just an attractive bunch of foster kids, and there wasn't an army of vampires headed towards us.
We found that fun little fact out when we crashed Bella's grad party. By we, I mean Jacob, Quil, and Embry. I was still a welcome guest, because I wasn't the one who'd kissed Bella against her will and then broke her hand with my face. Jacob has such a way with women.
At least some good came from this disturbing news- it sparked an alliance with the pack and the Cullens. They spent a few nights learning ways to fight these newborn vampires, who apparently fight differently than mature vampires, and are much stronger. In addition, Sam had the guys (and Leah) running extra patrols in between strategy sessions with the Cullens. That's why I've barely seen Jake, Seth, or any of the pack all week- they're either wolfed up or sleeping it off.
Seth. I've missed him more every day. I miss his carefree attitude and joking smile, and his ability to pull conversation out of thin air. What startles me is that I'm starting to miss other things as well- his warm arms around my comparatively cool shoulders, the way his eyes change color in the light, how safe and comfortable I feel around him…
Jacob's words are ringing truer by the day. I will admit that my feelings for Seth definitely fall under the "more than friends" heading, but I still can't tell how deep they run. I'll admit I have a crush on him, but compared to his feelings for me? That almost doesn't seem fair. We haven't talked about imprinting since that night after the bonfire. To be honest, we haven't had the time! We barely spend any time together, and I know he has even less time to contemplate the answer to my question.
An icy blast of wind hits my face. I swear the temperature's dropping by the minute, and my bare feet are protesting against the frigid surf. I wonder how cold Jacob and Bella were last night. Okay, I wonder how cold Bella was. She, Edward, and Jake spent the night somewhere in the mountains a few miles away from the clearing where the army's scheduled to arrive in a few hours.
A series of nightmares haunted me all night in his absence, so I finally gave up on sleep and started walking the beach. I'm shaking, not from the cold, but from the idea of my brother surrounded by mindless creatures of the night. Soon, Jake will make his way down to the clearing where he'll meet up with the rest of the pack, with the exception of Seth, Collin, and Brady. Seth will be taking Jacob's position on the mountain in order to act as a "cell phone" for Edward and Bella to keep them informed on what's going down on the battlefield. I'm thrilled that Seth's part leaves him out of the way of any potential danger. Now I only have to worry about the others.
At least Collin and Brady will be staying in La Push. I still haven't gotten over them being werewolves. Both boys just finished the seventh grade, and, werewolves or not, I'm still taller than them. Seth, however is thrilled that he's not the newbie anymore. Suddenly, two thirteen-year-olds in the pack make his mere fifteen years seem like a lot more.
"Sarah!" I hear a familiar voice call. I turn around to see Seth himself jogging down the beach towards me. Before I can stop myself, I'm sprinting towards him, and don't stop until I'm in his warm arms.
Okay, maybe it's a little more than a crush. I pull away and smile. "What's up?"
"I stopped by your house to see you before I left. I figured you'd still be asleep, but I wanted to see you anyway," his face glows as he looks into mine. "I caught your dad before he went fishing with Charlie, and he said you were out here."
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep. I kept dreaming about vampires for some reason," I add in mock-confusion.
"Well, they'll all be taken care of in a few hours," he reminds me confidently. I notice a trace of jealousy in his eyes.
"Don't tell me you want to fight them, too? I'm glad Sam is making you stay out of trouble!" I try and fail to hide the terror in my voice.
"Really, you don't have to worry," Seth promises. He takes my hand for a second, squeezes it, then drops it. A flash of inspiration crosses his face. "What time is it?"
I check my watch. "Almost seven," I reply.
"Okay, I have just enough time. I need to be on the mountain by eight," he explains as he takes my hand again and starts walking down the beach. I have to almost jog to keep up.
"Where are we going?" I demand.
"My house. I want to show you something." But he doesn't elaborate. We continue up the beach in silence, and still don't speak as we make our way up the road to the Clearwater's.
Inside, we find Sue reading the newspaper, her hands shaking as she does so. "Morning, Sue," I say.
She jumps about a foot, looking around wildly for the source of the sound. She relaxes as her eyes find me. "Oh, hello, Sarah. Good morning." The bags under her eyes tell me she's slept about as much as I have.
"Is Leah up yet?" Seth asks. Sue shakes her head, so Seth heads down the hall to his sister's room.
"What are you kids up to?" Sue asks conversationally. I can tell her mind is elsewhere, though.
"I'm not sure. Seth said he wanted to show me something," I explain.
"Leah? Wake up!" I hear Seth's voice from Leah's room. "It's just after seven. Yes, it's today, stupid. No, not yet, but soon. Mom made eggs. Well there was bacon. I was hungry! Never mind, that's not why I came in here! No, Leah, I wanted to ask you something. Stop, listen. Leah! Can I just- c'mon all I want is to borrow your ipod. It's a long story. I thought you wanted me to leave? C'mon Leah, I'm not getting any younger! Very funny, you're so clever. Can I just borrow your ipod? Thank you, Sassypants." Rolling his eyes, he reenters the kitchen holding Leah's ipod.
"That was a challenge," I observe.
"She's a real grouch in the mornings. Even more than she is the rest of the day, if you can imagine it," he groans. "Anyway, I wanted to play something for you." He turns and I follow him into his room. He closes the door then hooks the ipod up to his speakers and starts scrolling through the songs as I sit on the edge of his bed.
"Why do you need Leah's ipod?" I ask.
"I want you to hear this song, and I don't have it on my ipod. Here it is." But instead of playing it, he pauses the ipod and looks up at me. "So remember how I promised to figure out a different way to explain imprinting to you?"
"Yeah," I say, surprised. I hadn't expected this.
"Well, last night Leah had her ipod on really loud- it's kind of annoying really. You'd think she'd start turning it down now that her ears are more sensitive, but no," he grumbles. "And don't even get me started on the bathroom! I don't see why she insists on looking good before she runs patrols, she's just going to phase anyway-"
"Seth? You're rambling," I inform him.
"Oh, sorry. So, yeah, Leah was blaring her music as usual, and just as I was about to complain again, I took a second to listen to the lyrics. Then I made Leah replay the song so I could hear it again, and I realized that it actually explains imprinting pretty well."
"What song?" I ask curiously.
"Don't laugh, okay? It's a Taylor Swift song," blood rushes into his face.
"I like Taylor," I say defensively. "But how would she know anything about imprinting?"
"She's secretly a werewolf," Seth replies sarcastically as he starts the song.
I recognize the opening notes as he sits down next to me. "Enchanted?" I guess.
"Yeah. Now, shush. You need to listen to the lyrics," he orders. I do as I'm told. I've heard this song a million times, but I haven't paid a whole lot of attention to the lyrics, so I'm not entirely sure what to expect.
Taylor starts, "There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles. Same old tired, lonely place. Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes, and vacancy vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you." I recall Seth's wonderstruck look when he first saw me that day. It's the same expression I see on his face right now.
"I felt like I'd never seen you properly until that day, and I couldn't believe I've looked at your face so many times without truly seeing how beautiful you are," Seth whispers, unashamed. I feel my face become as hot as his.
Taylor continues, "The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy."
"We kind of did that, didn't we?" Seth comments. I nod, remembering.
Again he's quiet to make way for Taylor. "This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."
"I did blush the whole way home," Seth admits, blushing again.
"The lingering question kept me up. Two A.M.- who do you love? I wonder 'til I'm wide awake."
"I couldn't sleep that night. I kept thinking of you," Seth breathes, entranced.
"What about me?" I ask self-consciously.
"Everything. Your warm brown eyes, your long hair, the way your eyes sparkle when you smile or laugh, how kind and caring you are, how compassionate you are," he trails off, not because he's finished, but because he wants me to hear the rest of the song.
"This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends. My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again. These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon. I was enchanted to meet you."
As I sit frozen, looking at the speakers I feel Seth's breath on my ear. He whispers, "Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you."
Taylor repeats the lyric, and I turn slowly to face Seth, afraid I'll destroy the moment if I move too fast. Our faces are even closer than they were at the bonfire, and I look directly into his wonderstruck eyes.
It's in that moment I realize what an idiot I've been these past few weeks. No, what an idiot I've been these past few years. I don't want someone like Seth, I want Seth. I want someone who knows me like Seth does, and loves me like Seth does. I'm fully aware that I could just burst out laughing right now, and he would join right in, not one bit hurt. He'd be content to just be friends forever. He might be, but I'm not.
I do something that my wonderful, brave werewolf is afraid to do. I kiss the person I care more about than anyone else on the planet. My eyes close as he takes my face into his strong, fiery hands. I slip my arms around his neck and kiss him more passionately as our song continues in a loop.
I completely lose track of everything as we keep kissing, and we were nowhere near finished when there was a knock at the door. I hesitate for a fraction of a second before following Seth's lead back into the kiss.
There is another knock, followed by the opening of the door. "Whoa, okay!" We pull apart and I take in Leah's startled expression in the doorway.
"Did you need something, Leah, because we're kind of busy," Seth says shortly, his eyes and hands never leaving my face.
"Me, no, but I thought you had to be in position in like ten minutes." She mumbles something to herself, but judging by Seth's eye roll, he heard her, too.
Seth's hands slide down to take hold of mine. "I have to go," he says, his eye full of longing.
"Promise me you'll be safe?" my panic from the beach is intensified.
He kisses me lightly. "The only danger I'm in is death by excessive boredom," he promises, but he does a poor job of hiding his discontent.
"Good," I reply, kissing him softly. I can't find it in myself to pull away, and Seth isn't putting up much of a fight either.
Leah clears her throat, causing us to jerk apart. She rolls her eyes. "Jake needs to be in the clearing, and he can't leave the mountain until you get there," she reminds her brother sternly.
Seth stands up without letting go of my hands, so I stand with him. He pulls me in for one last warm hug and kisses my forehead. "Don't worry about me or the others. We'll be fine. Just stay on the reservation, okay? Collin and Brady will be here just in case."
"No offense to my favorite little brothers, but I personally think I have a better chance against the bloodsuckers," I laugh.
"They're actually not half bad," Seth says defensively. Too soon, he lets go of me, and with a final goodbye peck, he's gone.
