AN: This is the final chapter before the Mooning commences. Characters might be a little OOC, but I wouldn't think too much given what Charlie did:)

Chpt. 4 " A Matter of Self Preservation"

"CHARLIE!!" Don barged in to his childhood home, now owned by the soon-to-be-maimed professor. "CHARLIE WHERE ARE YOU?" the agent bellowed.

Alan came out of the kitchen having heard his older son barge in to the house. He tried to get his attention, but Don was on a mission. It was a mission Alan and Margaret, the boys' mother, always had to make sure Don didn't complete.

"CHARLIE!!" Don finished searching upstairs and stormed back down. He started for the garage.

"He's obviously not here, Don."

Don stopped and looked at his father realizing he was there. His target wasn't. Foiled by the little genius again! The agent snorted. "Guess he figured he'd be safer if he stayed at work until I calmed down."

"It seems to have worked," Alan said tentatively.

Don looked up, his eyes flashing and nostrils flaring. Nope, Charlie's plan hadn't; Don's nostrils only flared when he was really, really in a rage.

"Tell me what your brother did," Alan offered, although he had a pretty good idea what his youngest did to get Don so riled. Ignoring Don's protest, Alan guided him to the couch where the agent immediately flopped down and leaned his head on his hand. "Donnie?"

"He faxed a flyer some student made announcing the event to the office."

"I see." He waited for his son to continue. When he didn't Alan said, "If a student made flyers then the entire campus is going to know. He only contacted Megan, Colby, and David, right?"

"Oh he did that, and then some!" Don muttered.

"What?"

"I emailed Megan an explanation in regards to our wager to clarify the flyer."

Alan and Don looked towards the door. They hadn't seen or heard Charlie entering the house.

Like lightning Don sprang from the couch before Alan could hold him back. "Come here you twerp!!" he all but snarled as Charlie's eyes widened and he bolted.

"Boys! No running in the house!" Yes, it wasn't technically his house anymore, but some reactions would always be automatic. Especially when Don was in a rage and determined to get his hands on his brother.

Charlie ran to his refuge in the garage. However, he soon realized it wouldn't protect him from his very angry brother. Don soon had him trapped between his desk and one of his many chalkboards.

"Why'd you do it Charlie?" Don tried to force his brother around the desk until the mathematician was in easy reach.

"Do what Don?" Charlie countered, easily dodging as his brother tried to lunge for him over the desk.

"You know what!" Don seethed. He had hit his lower abdomen against the desk as he lunged.

"Had to do it bro!" Charlie shouted as he ran back in to the house and through the kitchen.

Don ran after him, ignoring the pain. He quickly caught up to his brother as they pounded up the stairs. Again he lunged for his brother, but it seemed Charlie had all of a sudden turned into some nimble creature of the forest! Charlie weaved and ducked around him heading back down.

"Chuck when I get my hands on you-!"

"Idle threat, Donald!"

"Charlie! Don! Stop it this instant!" Alan tried to step between his sons as they came down the steps. When that didn't work, he opened the door to the backyard and waited until his sons stopped running circles inside and took the circles outside. Maybe if he were lucky, one or both of them would fall in to the koi pond. Or maybe once they were outside he would just turn the backyard sprinklers on full blast. After all, the fish didn't need to be traumatized.

Charlie saw the open door and ran out, Don at his heels. Neither of them noticed their father stepping out and turning on the sprinklers. Unfortunately Don tripped on one as they came on and fell. He landed hard on the ground, the wind knocked right out from him.

"Donnie!"

Charlie stopped running when he heard his father's concerned shout. Turning, he saw why Don had not tackled him. His brother was on the ground on his back and getting completely soaked.

Since he was physically closer, and also somewhat wet, Charlie went over to Don. His brother's eyes were closed, water dripping down his face. His breathing seemed normal…

Normal?

Before Charlie could spring to his feet, Don reached out and pulled Charlie down and trapped his arms.

"Gotcha!"

"Don!" Charlie whined.

Alan shook his head in disgust. There were his two grown sons wrestling and rolling around on the ground getting wet and muddy.

"Hooligans!" he muttered, shaking his head. Then,

"ENOUGH!!"

Finally! At last his sons heard him and stopped fighting. If the previous moments hadn't been so worrisome, Alan might have been amused at the way the angry fire left Don's eyes and he moved as if he were coming out of some sort of trance. But now, it was his turn to be angry.

"Charlie. House. Now. And take off your shoes and socks before you enter." His tone brooked no argument.

Charlie glanced at Don and saw him looking back. "Ooooh boy. I'd hate to be you," he whispered.

Don tilted his head. "He summoned you first, Chuckie!"

Charlie scowled, but before he could make any smart comeback, their father called him again. He knew better than to ignore a second summons. Swallowing he approached the house feeling the daggers Don shot at his back. He saw his father watching his movement, arms folded across his chest, the recognizable stern parent glare directed at Charlie just then. Yeah, he and Don were in for it!

"Don't look at me like that, Charles Edward Eppes!" Alan warned.

Charlie sighed and removed his shoes and socks. He at least had to try his famous "hurt puppy" expression that had gotten him out of many scoldings in the past.

"You aren't ten years old, Charlie," Alan said as if reading his son's mind.

"Hey Dad! Think you could turn off the sprinklers?" Don called. The agent had not moved at all, knowing that to do so under the circumstances might mean death.

Alan looked at Don as Charlie started to enter the house. He quickly stopped the younger man by grabbing hold of his ear.

"Owww! Dad!"

"Never mind!" Don retreated. Their Dad rarely went for the ears. Oh man!

"You stay there," Alan ordered with a knowing grin. Then, still holding Charlie by the ear, he steered him inside.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"Stop it, Charlie. I'm not holding you that tight." Alan closed the door behind them. Then after a moment he released his son's ear. "Now," he continued as Charlie tenderly checked his ear, "You are going to go upstairs, bring a towel and a change of clothes for your brother. Then you are going to do the same for yourself and then you are both going to sit at the table and work this out like the men you are instead of the boys I just witnessed in the backyard!"

"Yes, Dad." Charlie meekly went to do his father's bidding.

Now it was time to deal with the other one. Turning to look outside he watched Don for a moment standing there, still getting soaked. Yet he was still in the same place, hadn't moved an inch.

Alan opened the door and stepped outside. Don saw him, but did not move to go in. Nodding his approval, Alan turned off the water and Don nervously approached him. When he reached his father and the house, Don removed his shoes and socks as Charlie had done and as their father wanted. Then he waited. Alan did not grab hold of the agent's ear, which surprised Don, yet he wasn't about to give his father a chance to second-guess.

"Dad, I—" Don started.

"Inside. Now."

Don quickly obeyed but waited for the next directive.

"There should be a towel and change of clothes for you, probably on the couch by now. Go dry off and change, and then meet me and your brother at the table."

Don knew which table. "Dad, I…it was a matter of self preservation."

Alan softly smiled. "I understand, son. That still doesn't give you permission to kill your brother. Now…"

Ten minutes later the three Eppes sat at the table, but nothing was being said. So far it had just been a glaring contest between brothers.

"My patience is wearing thin, boys," Alan warned.

"Charlie started it," Don said.

"That's mature, Don!" Charlie retorted.

"You did, though."

"Only to make sure you couldn't weasel out of the bet!"

"What makes you think I would have?"

"Because you're always getting out of things?"

"Hey, I went to Aunt Irene's party last year, didn't I?"

"Just barely!"

"Charlie! Don!" Alan had about all he could take. It was at moments like this he really missed their mother. Really missed her. "I want the both of you to get this through your thick skulls. We all made the wager. We lost. And we will…moon when it is time to moon. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Dad," his sons chorused.

For a moment peace reigned.

"Did you have to send your email to the entire FBI?"

"Just a matter of self preservation, Don."