Title: Ranma's… Husband? Enter the Dragon.

Rating: Still Teenish.

Disclaimer: Not mine, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Summary Thingy: In which stuff happens, the pov switches around and the author continues to abuse the innocent ellipsis.

Author's notes: Sorry it took so long, writers block, a new uni unit, Christmas stuff, unpleasantly hot and enervating (I live in Australia) weather, and ill health have kept me somewhat distracted. But it was nice today, and for once you couldn't smell the stink of bush-fires so I though I'd try and finish this chapter.

I am still loving all the reviews I've been getting, and would like to thank all of you who have taken time out to write one. On a related note: to a certain reviewer, please do not make assumptions about me and my work. I actually like Akane, and yes I have read the manga.

ooo

They had started out to school in a rush, but after a couple of streets it had slowed to pensive stroll. Akane was stiff as he walked beside her – he wasn't in the mood to walk on the fence – her shoulders were up and she gave off a hostile unapproachable vibe. Nabiki was walking in front of them, she was probably hoping that it would encourage them to talk but it was just adding to the feeling of discomfort surrounding them.

He didn't know what to say, the words "not my fault, not my fault" were circling around in his head like vultures, but he didn't know if they would help. They weren't words that people tended to believe when he said them. This wasn't what he wanted, he knew that now, but he didn't know what to do about it. Before, when he and his old man had been travelling, he'd been happier.

He'd been lonely sometimes, that was true, but there was none of this… chaos. Nobody's feelings to hurt. No way for him to prove, time and time again, that social graces weren't among the many things his pop had taught him. He hadn't needed them back then, when it was just the two of them more often than not (aside from the few occasions they'd stayed around for a bit – with Ukyou for one).

But now… now he couldn't seem to open his mouth without inserting his foot into it. He liked Akane, he really did, maybe not in an exactly romantic way, but he did like her. She could be really nice sometimes, at least when she forgot who he was, but she didn't seem to like him. He didn't like that, her not liking him. He didn't mean to upset her, some of it wasn't his fault (at least he hoped it wasn't) like Shampoo and Kodachi and that stuff, but he knew some of it was. That calling her uncute all the time was hurting her feelings. But she thought he was a pervert, and he wasn't, he wasn't no matter what anyone thought. It wasn't his fault.

He didn't ask for this, he didn't like turning into a girl, he didn't want all these girls (and Kuno) chasing after him, not that the attention didn't make him feel good, but he could live without out it. He didn't ask for this… naked Shampoo's, and cats, and turning into a girl to ward off Ryouga, and Kuno following him, and koi fishing rods, and Ukyou, and Kodachi feeding him potions, and new male husbands… and all of it, he didn't want it. Any of it. Sometimes he just wanted to run away…

He was being pathetic, paranoid, and thinking too much. Time to repress, time to forget, time to smother his thoughts in his arrogant persona, and time to stop caring so much. After all, he was pretty sure that it wasn't all that manly.

"Ranma… I… I'm…" Akane stuttered out, her hand reaching for him.

"Not now Akane!" He snapped at her, yanking his shoulder out of her reach. He didn't want to hear it, whatever it was; he just wasn't in the mood to be called a pervert.

"Ranma… you… YOU JERK!" She yelled thwapping him on the shoulder with barely enough force to make an impact before increasing her stride to walk beside her sister. He watched her for a moment before shrugging at her odd behaviour and turning his attention back inwards.

ooo

Ranma's school day had been very, very awkward. He'd felt like he was walking on a knife's edge, and one misstep… well one misstep in this town could leave him forced to commit seppuku. Or something worse. There was always something worse in Nerima.

He and Akane hadn't spoken one word since the morning, it wasn't that he didn't want to, but he just didn't know what to say. At least she didn't seem angry at him. Angry at the world in general: yes. Angry at him specifically: no. Though she was oozing an aura that would put her father to shame. They'd gotten stuck standing in the hallway holding buckets because the teacher hadn't wanted to listen to their reasons for being late, and he'd nearly gotten frostbite from standing next to her. Her aura was that cold.

Nabiki hadn't been standing in the corridor he'd noticed, but then she was Nabiki. She'd probably told some lie and burst into tears. Sometimes he wished he was as clever as she was. Today was one of those times. If he was as clever as her he could find some way out of this mess, and it was a tricky mess. He could feel it. His instincts were screaming "run away… run away". And being Ranma Saotome had taught him to listen to his instincts (except where Akane was concerned, but that was more an issue of pride).

He'd been trying to avoid everyone. He didn't want to tell any of the others… ever. But he'd settle for waiting to see if he could sort it all out with that Kurosawa person first, try explaining that he was a guy and that they couldn't be married. He didn't want to be married, to a guy or not. He wasn't ready.

Thankfully being late meant he had missed the usual early morning confrontation with Kuno. Thankfully, not because he didn't want a fight, but he was worried he wouldn't be able to hold back, and Kuno being Kuno would have definitely done something to make him angry. And though he might sometimes hate Kuno, he didn't want to be responsible for his messy, gory death. Though right now Kuno's very existence was making him angry, along with the existence of all men... God, this must be what Akane felt like.

Though he had missed him first thing, Kuno had been being a pain in the ass over lunch. Kuno'd tried to confront him, probably sensing he wasn't at his best, but Nabiki had (surprisingly) intervened. You'd almost think she cared, but he figured she just didn't want to loose one of her primary sources of income.

Ukyou, on the other hand, had been a bit more difficult. She'd worked out early on that something had happened, and when neither he nor Akane had answered her questions she'd taken to following him around. He'd spent the day seeing her out of the corner of his eye, hiding behind desks, behind trees, and behind people. Truth be told… he was finding it a little creepy. It was going to be hard to get away without her following after school, but he really didn't want her meeting Kurosawa. God-only-knows what she'd do if she met Kurosawa… God only knows what he'll do when he meets Kurosawa.

But school was almost over, and (for now) he'd survived with dignity intact, though it was slightly worrying that none of the usual chaos had plagued him over the course of the day. No Shampoo, no Mousse, no Ryouga… he was being lulled into a false sense of security wasn't he? It was going to get bad, really bad, and soon… must not panic, must not panic, real men don't panic when a suspicious absence of bad things happen to them.

(This is the sound of a ringing school bell… if you don't believe me… well… you'll just have to trust me on this)

He looked up when he heard the bell ring and realised that he must have zoned out; all of a sudden he couldn't breathe, it was all weighing down on him too heavily. He'd run out of time. Time he hadn't even realised he'd been stalling for. He couldn't quite bring himself to leave his seat; instead fighting against the constriction in his chest and staring into space. He sat there for long minutes that seemed like hours before he was dragged out of his fog by Ukyou's worried face.

"Ranma-honey, what's wrong?" She asked, her face creased in concern.

"Nothin's wrong Ucchan, nothing at all." He replied with a tired smile, hoping she would let it drop.

"You can't fool me Ran-chan, you haven't been yourself all day… you've been too quiet." She said, her left hand reaching out and ruffling his hair in a strangely maternal way.

He looked at her for a moment, wondering why she had done that, and what would happen if he told her the truth, before deciding on a course of action. "Don't worry Ukyou it's nothing major, in fact it'll probably be gone by tomorrow." He said, starting to gain some confidence in the thought.

"But Ran-chan…" she began, before he cut her off by abruptly standing and indulging in a long feline stretch. He felt alive again, aware again. It was simple… one conversation and Kurosawa would be out of his life for good. No way would the guy stick around when he learned that Ranma was really male.

He turned to go, but before he left he smiled at Ukyou and said "Thanks Ucchan."

"For what, Ran-chan?" She called after him, but he was already out the door.

ooo

Ahhh… a new town. New faces. New people… New… girls. Sexy, sexy, girls. Everywhere. Mmmhmmm… sexy.

Walking around, checking out the sights, what a lovely place this Nerima is. Ladies of every attractive persuasion, ev-er-y-where.

A pervert's delight. Ooooo I'm gonna enjoy it here.

I've changed my mind; Ma wasn't totally out of her mind when she moved us here. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

Girlies to the left of me, girlies to the right. Girlies up ahead of me, wearing school uniforms.

High School Girls! High School Girls! Gotta love them High School Girls! Sexy, sexy, sexy, in their u-ni-for-m-s.

Ok, this one aint the sexiest uniform, but a uniform's a uniform. Especially a school uniform. Even when it's a form concealing, violently-blue, polyester number like this.

Being a school girl must be so tedious, but don't worry sexy girlies, Ryu is coming to save you from your boredom…

ooo

Ranma was walking on the fence next to Akane, well trying to anyway, as she was striding at an incredible pace with a less than pleased look on her face.

"Akane… Akane, wait up!" he shouted at her when her fast speed meant it was too difficult to keep up with her at his usual stroll. When she ignored him he gave up trying to have a relaxing walk home and increased his pace until he had caught up with her.

"What's the matter with you now?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"What makes you think anything's the matter?" She replied in a terse tone of voice.

"Is this still about Kurosawa? Do you really think that I want him to be my… my… husband" He all but spat the last word, barely flinching as his usual luck ensured he was splashed with cold water – this time by way of a couple of children having a water-balloon fight.

"No! God Ranma… what do you want from me?" She asked him, her tone sounding almost plaintive.

"Want from you…?" This was getting strange; there was something worrisome about where this conversation was headed.

"I tried to apologise for how I reacted this morning but you wouldn't hear it, and then you spend all day in a sulk before cheering up after one, one! conversation with Ukyou." Much to his relief, her tone was taking on its customary anger. She was jealous, that had to be it.

"Apologise? Since when do you apologise?" He asked, full of scorn.

"I was going to this morning! And don't make it sound like I'm the insensitive one." She snapped at him.

That kind of hurt. Everyone was always blaming him for everything. "Yeah right! Like you could ever be insensitive. Akane is always perfect. Akane is always kind. Akane could never be insensitive" He all but snarled, his voice full of uncustomary venom.

"Ranma…" For a moment she seemed at a loss for words, her expression showing that he had hurt her that time. "…You can be a real bastard sometimes." She spat, her expression becoming cold.

"Wait… Akane… look I'm…" He started to say before she cut him off.

"Sorry? You going to say you're sorry? Well I don't believe you. NotForOneSecond!" She snarled storming off away from him.

"Oh hell…" He hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, but it was too late she was out of hearing range.

He squatted down on the fence to think for a minute; he'd made a real mess out of that hadn't he? But there was nothing he could do now. He stood up and resumed his trek home, once more lost in thought. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed that part of the fence he was approaching was partially broken and bore a sign saying "do not touch, fence unsteady". The moment he stepped onto it, the fence started to give way, and he would have ended up in the canal if it wasn't for a couple of strong hands that caught him. Caught him in a rather intimate way. The hands were clasped onto his sides with the fingers pressing into his breasts. He could feel himself starting to blush and called out "Hey! Watch your hands!"

ooo

The sexy girlies weren't interested in Ryu today. They'd actually laughed when he'd put the moves on them. But he was sexy, he was suave, he was wearing his best white suit… what more could they want?

Oh well. Their loss.

He'd just turned onto the street by the canal when he saw the attractive red-head start to fall into the water. With lightening reflexes he'd reached out to grab her, getting a pleasant handful for his troubles.

Sexy… large C cup, maybe a D.

The red-head seemed to be objecting to his handling of her and was starting to struggle, but he was too busy trying to work out what was familiar about a petite, red haired, pretty girl. It wasn't until she kicked him in the head that he finally put it all together.

He was just about to introduce himself when he heard: "Hey! Ryu, what do you think you're doing?" coming from behind him.

He turned around, holding out the girl (that he now knew was Ranma Saotome) to his brother, and said: "Guess what Kiyoshi! I've found your wife."

ooo

Ranma was getting quite annoyed. Not only was the person who had caught him still holding him, but they weren't paying any attention to his protests, instead they were lost in thought and getting a good grope in, and they were tall… he couldn't even reach the ground with his tiptoes. Enough was enough.

He swung his body up, curling it over, and kicked the guy in the head. They guy didn't even seem to notice, he certainly didn't flinch. Ranma was dumbfounded; there weren't many people who could take one of his kicks without even noticing. The guy was still groping him.

He startled when he heard someone yell "Hey! Ryu, what do you think you're doing?" from just behind them, and was even more startled when he was suddenly swung around and presented to Kiyoshi Kurosawa along with the words:

"Guess what Kiyoshi! I've found your wife."

"Wha…?" Kiyoshi Kurosawa looked a little bit surprised himself, "Ryu… Put her down!" He exclaimed after he had regained his senses.

"Aww… do I have to?" The guy holding him (that he now knew was called Ryu) whined.

"Yes! Now Ryu!" Kurosawa growled, his eyes flashing.

"Fiiiiiine." Sighed Ryu, finally letting him regain his feet.

Kurosawa looked embarrassed for a moment, before addressing Ranma with a gentle tone "Hello, I'm Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and this is my… brother… Ryu. Are you Ranma Saotome?"

"Yes, er… about that, well there's something you need to know…" said Ranma, trailing off unsure about how to raise the topic of his gender.

"So you're my wife. Well you certainly are everything I was told you'd be." Said Kurosawa, with a smile and an appreciative look in his eyes.

Ranma decided that it was best to tackle one of the other important issues while he was working out how to tell Kurosawa that he was a he. "About that, how come you say you're my husband? My old man says he never signed anything that looked like a marriage licence." He asked.

"Errr… well I really don't know. I was training in the mountains at the time, and when I came back mother announced that I had a wife, even if she didn't know where you were." Replied Kurosawa, looking a little bit concerned.

"So you don't know that much more than I do?" Ranma was disappointed, he had really hoped to get an answer to that puzzling question.

"Well I couldn't say for sure, as I don't know what you know, but I presume as much." Said Kurosawa with a gentle, humour filled smile.

Ranma turned to Ryu and asked: "Well how about you? Do you know anything?"

"Nope. At the time I was drunk, very drunk. And also elsewhere. With… whatshername… that cute American girl…" Ryu's eyes had fogged over, and his face was caught in a lecherous grin. Ranma wasn't liking Ryu all that much.

"So this was all a waste of time." He sighed, feeling his earlier depression begin to creep back.

"What did you mean before; when you said there was something I needed to know?" Asked Kurosawa, distracting Ranma and bringing his attention back to how he was going to tell Kurosawa.

"Um… well this would probably work better with a demonstration; let's go back to the Tendou Dojo." He said after a minute, making up his mind.

"OK." Said Kurosawa, smiling at him in a way that was making him uncomfortable.

"Sure, whatever" added Ryu

ooo

Happosai is moving across the rooftops with a big haul strapped to his back, he seems a little nervous and looks behind him every now and then but doesn't seem to be able to see anything in particular. He moves out of the scene going at high speed, and a minute later you see a magenta blur following him.

ooo

Kasumi was slightly nervous. She had a plan, and… well… it wasn't the sort of thing she'd usually do. It was just… Ranma had so many people interested in him, and so did her sister, and even Nabiki was never short a date, but Kasumi… Kasumi was so often ignored, and he was just her type. What could it hurt really? After all, it wasn't like he was going to want Ranma when he found out that she was really a he.

So Kasumi had a plan, well not really a plan, but the beginnings of a plan, and it would start tonight. She carefully smoothed out the (shorter and tighter than usual) skirt of her dress, and checked herself in the mirror one more time.

She was wearing a yellow sleeveless dress made out of a soft, floaty material. The dress had a Mandarin collar, the skirt only came down to mid thigh and clung enticingly, and the neck (which had a row of buttons down the centre to under her bust) was undone at least half the way down. She had her hair up in a clip instead of its usual ponytail, and was wearing makeup (nothing over-the-top, but makeup none the less), as well as a pair of white high-heeled sandals on her feet. She looked good, pretty, delicate, feminine, everything that a man looked for in a woman.

She was going to do it, she was going to win Kiyoshi Kurosawa's heart, and nothing would stand in her way.

ooo

Things were awkward when they arrived at the Tendou Dojo, everyone (except a strangely dressed Kasumi, who Ranma had sent after a kettle) piled into the Living/Dining room and waited for someone to say something.

"Um…" was all Ranma had gotten out, when Kasumi came into the room holding the kettle full of hot water. She seemed to trip on something (in a strangely staged way) and the hot water went flying. The water splashed Ranma, and he could feel himself change back into his original form before he had had a chance to explain anything.

"You're that boy from earlier…" whispered Kiyoshi, staring at him.

"I can explain…" he said, but was interrupted.

"Oy! Watch it!" growled Ryu, flicking water off his… no wait… her suit. Ranma couldn't help but stare, and he could see he wasn't the only one. Ryu had obviously had a run in with Jusenkyou at some time, which would make his explanation easier.

He was just about to say something when Happosai (oozing intense battle-aura) landed in the back garden. The old man turned sharply back the way he had come and brought his hands up in readiness for a fight. Seconds later an attractive, foxlike, middle-aged woman landed softly in front of him wearing an incredibly revealing magenta suit.

"Aiko!" Spat Happosai.

The woman smirked at him and said "Ha-pi" in a soft sing-song tone.

The old man pulled himself together and said in a serious tone "I've told you before Aiko Kurosawa, you'll never get your hands on the secrets of the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts."

The woman smirked at him, reached into her (barely existent) top, and pulled out a piece of paper that she held out to him. Happosai took the paper and read its contents with increasing shock.

"Too late, Happi." She breathed.

ooo