The Total Drama series belongs to Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Also, the Alphabet idea isn't mine. It belongs to Frank15. Everything I also mention that's copyrighted belongs to their respective copyrights. However, all my characters belong to me.

This episode, we go Emerald Hunting, and someone gets voted off!


"And welcome back to Total Drama Dictionary, where our teens start their first challenge as teams! What kinda stuff will they talk about?" Chris asked. "Let's invade their privacy and find out!"


Scheming Squids

The group was walking along, keeping an eye out for red Emeralds. So far, they didn't see any…

"This challenge is totally bogus and annoying." Xander said. "This was a scrappy mechanic in the Sonic series then, and it still is today!"

"Besides, everyone knows that Call of Duty's the way to go, -BLEEP-!" Peter replied. "Not that you losers play it!"

"No, because we have BETTER things to do with our minds, like play Pokemon!" Tina said, smiling.

"You know what I say?" Zero asked. "I'm gonna –BLEEP-! And burn this place to the –BLEEP- ground! Then I'm gonna…"

"He's rambling on and on about destruction again, is he?" Ross replied in a deadpan voice.

"Correct you are, Ross." Luka said. "Wait, did he say he was gonna throw cook books at a squirrel that was eyballing him last night?"

"Why cook books?" Ross asked. "Granted, that IS cruelty to animals."

"I dunno, Ross…" Luka said. "But if he does throw the book at them, then I know exactly who my vote's going to."

"Speaking of voting, you wanna know why you should vote for Tina? Well…"

The group didn't realize that Whitney was away from them, grabbing something from a tree trunk. "Almost… GOT IT!"

Whitney smiled, as she looked at the Emerald, then realized.

"Wait, we're searching for Red Emeralds…" Whitney said. "This is a Blue Emerald. Oh, well…"

Whitney went back to her group to see the talking going on.

"And that's why I'm banned from 48 Chuck-E-Cheeses…" Peter replied.

Whitney was just plain confused. "Wait, what?"


Confessional: Should we even ask?

Zero: What a –BLEEP- idiot…

Whitney: Do I wanna know what happened?

Tina: This is gonna be a long challenge…


Tough Turtles

They were also looking for Emeralds to add to their collection. They decided to have Ugra take the lead, being he knows a lot more about shinies than the rest of them did. Two of them were in the middle of a conversation, though…

"So, is it really true you stuffed 108 peanuts in your mouth within a minute, and ate them?" Omelette asked Vikki.

"You betchya!" Vikki replied, smiling. "I wanted to beat my old record of 68."

Omelette couldn't help but sincker. "One more number, and…"

"Ahh, peanuts… The food of SCIENCE!" Alec shouted out loud.

"I thought it was potatoes…" Nuva said.

"Well, this one dude thought of hundreds of way to do stuff with peanuts. And what a dude he was. He used food, for SCIENCE!" Alec shouted out. "But he did steal the president's name."

"Granted, peanut butter being one of them." Francis said. "Personally, I like them with bananas."

"Who the crap cares about peanuts or science?" Danny replied.

"It's pronounced SCIENCE!" Alec shouted out loud.

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Nerd!" Danny replied. "SO sorry that me saying SCIENCE wrong is getting in your way of SCIENCE deeds!"

Alec stared at Danny with anger in his eyes.

"Alec? It's not worth it." Candace said, sincerely. "Just breath deep."


Confessional: Peanuts! Get your peanuts here!

Alec: He's lucky I don't experiment on him… Heck, I can't stand bullies like him. I get enough of that at home… Doesn't matter, I have SCIENCE by my side! And it'll never fail me!

Omelette: I wonder if peanuts and SCIENCE-grown peanuts can give anyone a perfect butt… Did I say that out loud?

Jeanette: I rather stay out of this one… All this arguing can cause my asthma to flare up…

Nerdi: (She is not amused, as she's holding up some packing peanuts) Packing peanuts my meow! They taste like Styrofoam! …Wait, how am I able to taste these? I'm a puppet!


Flyin' Flounders

The eight were walking together, as usual, looking for one of their Emeralds.

"So, Bob?" Gina was talking to him. "I heard about what happened yesterday, when you saved Hannah. That was really awesome"

"Well, I just did what came natural." Bob said. "After all, she saved my skin from an irate Danny."

"Danny… He's the guy from the Turtles, right?" Gina asked, as Bob nodded. "Well, guess I have a few lessons to teach him!"

Kagura was doing some thinking. Yuki caught up to her.

"Hey, what's up, Kagura? Besides the clouds, the sun, Lakitu from the Mario series…" Yuki said to her.

"Oh, nothing…" Kagura answered. "Except… Can you add a streak in my hair tonight? I don't wanna feel like an outcast to you girls."

"I don't know why you were feeling like an outcast, but sure!" Yuki said.

"Thanks, Yuki-Chan." Kagura replied. "It's that… You have streaks, as thus Hannah-Chan and now Gina-Chan."

"You wanna fit in… It's no prob, sweetie!" Yuki said, smiling. "I shall work my magic tonight!"

Meanwhile, Maxwell walked beside Isaac, who was looking down.

"So, Isaac?" Maxwell said to the shut-in. "You doing okay? You didn't come back to the cabin last night."

"…I'm fine." Isaac said.

"Look, if you ever need our help, you can always talk to us." Maxwell said.

Isaac said nothing. Instead, he motioned everyone to stop, and he walked over to a bush. After a minute of searching, he took out what appeared to be a blue emerald from the bush.

"Whoa, Isaac found one!" Hannah shouted out loud.

"Great find, Issac! Thanks!" Gina said to him with a smile.

Even Isaac couldn't help but smile.

"Okay, guys… Let's get moving…" Isaac replied.


Confessional: Emerald GET!

Isaac: Hmm… Can I really trust these guys? What would they think of my hobby?

Kagura: I wonder what Yuki has in store for my hair?

Bob: Me and Gina talked for about an hour. She talked about how she stood against the Aliens from the planet Xeroplaff-G to defend a friendly race of aliens that looked like bottles of ketchup.

Gina: True, that. But I think they looked like Catsup instead.


Scheming Squids

They were still looking around. Like the flounders, they found their first emerald as well. Tina was currently holding it.

"Aww, why can I even –BLEEP- see it?" Zero yelled at the cotton-candy scented girl.

"Because all you'll gonna do is just swipe it away from me, and smash it on the ground for no apparent reason." Tina said. "You try anything, and it could be Game Over for you, Zero!"

Whitney then put a hand on Tina. "Leave him be. He's not worth it. Besides… I highly doubt he WOULD smash a hard to find emerald on the ground."

"Yeah, let's keep moving and…" Selena started to say, but saw Xander spraying bug poison on what appeared to be a fire ant nest. "…What you doing, Xander?"

"Spraying some poison on these gnarly fire ants!" Xander replied. "They're not gnarly as in awesome, but they can leave a huge bite. Lost a sandwich to these suckers."

"Whatever you say…" Selena said.

Peter tried to grab up some fire ants, but Xander stared at him.

"Are you planning on dumping them on Tina while she slept?" Xander asked.

"…Maybe?" Peter replied.

Xander did nothing, but took the jar of fire ants, and hurled them clear across the horizion.

"I hate you…" Peter said to Xander.

A few minutes later, Luka was walking next to Ross.

"Hi, Ross. So, you doing okay?" Luka said to him.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine. I suspect that Zero is an alien, and an evil one at that." Ross said back at her.

"Yeah, I think so, as well." Luka said right back. "But the true alien around here HAS to be Peter. Who hates Nintendo THIS much?"

"I dunno…" Ross replied, as he did some thinking. "Ross? You're losing her… She's a punk girl. Break the ice, idiot!"

"Um, Luka?" Ross asked.

"Yeah?"

"Um… What was your first piercing?" Ross asked.

"Well, the bellybutton…" Luka answered. "Why?"

"No question…" Ross said, as he mentally facepalmed himself.


Confessional: You're blowing it, Ross

Ross: What was your first piercing? Really, Ross? You find a perfect punk girl, and you blow it… (He face-palms himself)

Luka: Yeah, I also got my first tattoo that day. My parents were pissed, but who cares! I joined up with the coolest gals around. This is for you, Peaceful Paws!


Zero then went up to Selena. "Hey, sexy… You wanna –BLEEP- later?"

Luka and Ross was watching Zero's attempts at trying to "hook up" with Selena. Luka started to count down with her fingers.

"3, 2, 1…"

Soon enough, Zero was punched into the front of them, to which Whitney accidently tripped over his downed body. Luka was over to her side within a moment.

"Whitney? You're okay?" Luka asked.

"Better than okay, look!" Whitney replied, as she got up, and ran into the bushes, and grabbed a blue Emerald.

"Awesome find, Whitney!" Xander shouted.

"You're a real natural at this!" Tina said, smiling.

"Quick! Keep on punching Zero, Selena!" Luka joked, picking up Zero. "We can use him as radar. Finally, he actually HAS an use! Whitney! How many trips can you take?"

"Well…"

"Who cares? Let's just shove her to the ground!" Peter said, shoving Whitney to the ground. Whitney got up in an instant.

"Okay, that was just plain rude!" Whitney replied. "Luka was only joking! Besides…"

Whitney went over and picked up a blue Emerald. "It doesn't always work!"

"Okay, dudes… Let's keep moving." Xander replied.


Confessional: Serves you right, Zero-Boy!

Zero: (He is holding an ice pack on his mouth) She sure has a –BLEEP- punch. Sure wish I could do that to Bob, or Ross.

Whitney: Peter… You're just plain trollish. WHY do people play with you on XBOX live? Granted, my older brother does play COD… But he treats his teammates with respect!


Tough Turtles

They were searching on a beach, as they were currently listening to Candace.

"…And that's why I think Darkwing Duck is one of the best cartoons ever made!" Candace replied.

"Eh, I'm partial to Ducktales." Omelette said, shrugging. "What other cartoon around opens with butts?"

Everyone stared at her.

"Um… Did I say butts? I meant bucks! Yep, dollar bills!" Omelette replied quickly. "I don't stare at butts, no way! That's silly!"

"Then why were you looking at Vikki's just now?" Danny asked. Indeed, Omelette was peeking at Vikki's butt.

"For SCIENCE purposes! That's all!" Omelette lied.

"Even I think that's silly…" Alec replied.

"OOF!" Vikki cried out loud, as she tripped over something.

Jeanette was next to the clown in seconds. "You allright?"

"I am now…" Vikki replied, as she held up a green Emerald. "Thanks to THIS!"

"Awesome!" Omelette shouted out loud.

"I agree!" Nuva also said.

"Gnarly find, man!" Quentin replied, smiling.

"That still doesn't explain the reason why Omelette was staring at Vikki's butt!" Danny asked.

"Danny? Can we drop it? If Omelette wants to stare at butts, she can!" Candace replied, as she went up to Omelette. "Now, let's think about happy things, like the ending of the Pilot of Darkwing Duck!"

"Where Gosalin got adopted?" Nuva asked.

Candace smiled. "The very same!"

"I'll try thinking as well…" Quentin replied. "What a gnarly wave…"

Ugra then started thinking. "Lots of shinies."

Nuva thought of something as well. "Puppets. Puppies. Puppy Puppets…"

Alec then started to think. "Hmm…"

"Here it comes in 3, 2, 1…" Vikki said out loud.

"SCIENCE!"

"Told you!" Vikki said. "And you can stare at my butt if you want to, Omelette. I don't mind!"

"Thanks, Vikki." Omelette replied, blushing. "You're the coolest clown I know… Well, the only clown I know. What made you decide to be a clown?"

"Well…" Vikki started to say, but changed her mind. "I just wanted to, that's all."

"That's good. The world needs more cute clowns like you." Omelette said.

Vikki couldn't help but blush.


Confessional: Just clownin' around!

Vikki: Well, to be honest, I was really adopted by a family of clowns. I really don't know who my real mom is, or where she actually is, but I'm happy, and that's all that matters. Plus, my parents rock!

Omelette: Okay, even though Vikki gave me verbal permission to stare at butts… I can't expose my true self! At least, not yet.

Nuva: I saw Omelette taking peeks at Vikki's tush… Is it possible she's…


Flyin' Flounders

The group hasn't found any emeralds, but they still kept up hope that they'll be victorious, none the less. However, they met up with a few familiar faces…

"So… if it isn't the –BLEEP- Flounders!" Zero sneered in a mocking voice.

"So, if it's Mr. Foul Mouth, himself..." Gina said.

"You just arrived –BLEEP- today! You don't know me!" Zero shouted at her.

"Hannah gave me a lowdown of the contestants on here." Gina replied.

"Yeah, like how Tina is all lame and all!" Peter shouted out loud.

"Count me out of this!" Tina said.

During their argument, they didn't notice Whitney sneaking over to where Isaac was. After some whispering, Whitney spoke up.

"Um, I forgot to mention that Luka forgot to turn off the Teddy Ruxpin last night!" Whitney replied out loud.

"Hey, I don't have a Teddy Ruxpin!" Luka said, confused.

"Was it programmed to sing self-help tapes?" Whitney asked.

"Dang, those things were recalled, because they could give wrong directions to cooking! " Ross yelled out loud. "No wonder those cupcakes tasted not sweet, but sour! We're outta here to stop them!"

Soon enough, the Squids were running off, with Maxwell staring at a certain teammate.

"Maybe someday… We'll get a chance to talk." Maxwell said, looking at Tina running.

"If it helps… Can I lead?" Isaac asked Maxwell.

"Oh!" Maxwell said, snapping back to attention. "Sure! You have a feeling where the Emerald is?"

"Well…" Isaac replied, as he started to run off. The group followed him, to where he then dug into some bushes. A few moments later, he showed off a blue emerald to the team.

"Sweet!" Gina shouted. "Just one more to go!"

Bob and Hannah started to dance in excitement, but suddenly let go in embarrassment.

"Sorry… Just, er… sorry." Hannah apologized.

"That's okay. It was kinda fun, in a way." Bob said to the young Goth.


Confessional: Toy Ship, maybe?

Hannah: Bob was the closest camper near me, that's all!

Gina: (She is smiling.) Aww, I love Toy Ships!

Yuki: (She is also smiling.) And let the Bob and Hannah fanfiction fly…

Ethan: I gotta admit, it was cute to see Bob and Hannah dancing.


It was getting late in the day. Both the Flounder and the Squids have found their three emeralds, but the Turtles only found two. The Flounders and the Squids were headed to the finish line where Chris and Chef were waiting. Chris finished a banana, and threw the peel on the ground, but…

"Give them back, you –BLEEP-!" Zero yelled at Tina, while grabbing onto the Emeralds.

"For the last time, no! All you will do is smash them on purpose, and make us lose!" Tina shouted at him.

"Will you just let him carry them, Lametendo?!" Peter yelled out loud.

The two continued to play tug-o-war with the Emeralds. But all of a sudden, Tina lost her grip against Zero, and he grabbed all three of the emeralds.

"HA! Butterfingers! Serves you –BLEEP- right!" Zero said.

Suddenly, he slipped on the banana peel, and all three emeralds went flying out of his hands, smashing on the ground.

"Way to go, you… idiot!" Ross shouted at him as the Flounders ran past them.

"And the Flounders win First Place!" Chris shouted out loud. The Flounders cheered loudly.

"And the first place prize is… A copy of "Sonic Adventure 1 and 2! I better alert the Turtles that they won second."

"Wait… But we had three of those –BLEEP- emeralds!" Zero yelled at Chris. "We should get second, -BLEEP-!"

"True, but I forgot a rule… If any emerald broke, your team is automatically disqualified, meaning… See you at the Bonfire!" Chris answered back.

Nearly EVERYONE was staring at Zero for smashing the Emeralds. All but one…

"Chaos Control!" Whitney yelled out loud, holding the Emerald shards, as nothing happened. "Well… It was worth a try."


Confessional: CHAOS CONTROL!

Yuki: Wow, this is almost like the time I won first place at the Second Grade Art Contest!

Maxwell: Not to sound like a weeaboo, but… Good Bye, Zero-Baka! You won't be missed!

Zero: This is all that –BLEEP- girl's fault! If she only let me hold those emeralds like I –BLEEP- told her too…

Luka: I know who has my vote…

Selena: We all know who the true geek is, and it's NOT Tina… today.


Mess Hall

The rest of the campers were eating dinner. Over at the Squids table, they were discussing who should go home.

"I say we send Zero packing. Dude already caused enough trouble around here." Xander said to the others. "Plus, I don't think no one cusses THAT much!"

"I agree. I really don't hold grudges, but Zero is on the top of my list, next to Pokey, Caulder, Dr. Weil, and Ghetsis." Said Tina.

"Yeah, where is Zero, anyway?" asked Luka.

Sure enough, Zero arrived, torturing a small squirrel by holding it by the tail.

"So, what do you think, guys? –BLEEP- awesome, or what?" Zero shouted at them with glee. They were not impressed at all.

"You're inhumane!" Luka said in shock. "What would my friends do if they saw you doing that?!"

Ross got up and walked towards him.

"You're scum… No, you're worse than scum!" Ross said right in his face.

"Attention, Squids!" Chris' voice said over the intercom. "Please report over to the Campfire for an elimination."

"Whatever, -BLEEP-. See ya at the campfire!" said Zero as he threw the squirrel into the kitchen. Luckily, it was all right, as he got up, and began to leave, but saw a cook-book on the table. Curious, he began to read it.

"…Yeah, we ALL know who is going home tonight…" Whitney said. "Hope that squirrel's gonna be okay."


Confessional: The First Vote Off

Xander: You're exterminated, Zero!

Peter: I vote for Ross. No reason, just to toy with everyone! Plus, I wanna keep Kidtendo around for longer, just to toy with her.

Ross: Zero gets my vote. He could most likely be an alien of the evil variety! At least the rating for this show should go down to TV-PG after he's gone… If they didn't raise it already.

Luka: (She is mad.)Zero is a complete nuisance! And after seeing him trying to torture that squirrel… Yeah, he's lucky my friends aren't close by! So he gets my vote!

Squirrel: (He is chirping happily as he holds a plate of well-cooked bacon)

Zero: (He is furious.) I vote for Ross! That'll teach that –BLEEP- not to GET IN FRONT OF MY FACE!

Selena: I vote for that stupid nerd of a girl, Tina. So? I can change my mind!


Later at the Elimination Ceremony, the Squids were sitting down, waiting for Chris to show up to decide their fate. They all sneered at Zero, as Chris came up.

"Campers, the Marshmallow is a staple of life here on this island. When I call out your name, come up, and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow, must go to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave. And they can't come back… ever!" Chris said.

"Yeah, we all know who the first one out is…" Tina said, looking at Zero.

"First up… Whitney!"

"Luka"

"Selena"

"Xander"

"Peter"

Ross, Zero, and Tina were left.

"The next marshmallow goes to… Tina." Chris said. Tina happily claimed her marshmallow. Only Ross and Zero were left.

"Ross, Zero… This is the final marshmallow of the evening…" Chris said as a confident Ross looked at a worried Zero. "And tonight it goes to…"

"…Ross."

Ross was glad, knowing full well that Zero was voted off. He got up and claimed his marshmallow.

"Zero, the Dock of Shame awaits you." Chris said. Zero was fuming with anger.

"-BLEEP-! HOW DID I LOSE?" shouted Zero in pure rage.

"Because… You're pretty much, without a doubt… the WORST person I ever met!" Ross said to him.

"Plus, you're using dirty language on a show meant for kids… For shame, Zero!" Whitney yelled out.

"The rest of you Squids... You're all safe... for now." Chris said to the remaining campers as he walked away.

Then out of nowhere, something must had snapped in Zero's mind as he did the unthinkable…

...

...

...

…He punched Ross in the mouth, sending him over into a briar patch.

"YYEEEOOOWWW!" yelled Ross out in pain.

"You shouldn't had gotten in my –BLEEP- face!" Zero yelled out loud.

"Ross!" Luka yelled in worry over her new friend. With Whitney's help, they started to carry him back to their cabin. "Guys? Before he boards the boat, make sure he gets what's coming to him." Luka said to the other campers. "Tina? You know what to do." She said, handing her a small bag.

"Will do!" Xander said as he grabbed Zero, and held him tight, so he wouldn't escape. Tina then walked up to him, emptying the contents of the bag. It contained a bar of soap.

"Oh, Zero? It's time to pay for your dirty language, and your mis-deeds… And I don't think this is Life-Buoy." Tina said as she inched closer to him, knowing full well what's gonna happen to him…


Outside the Scheming Squids Cabin

"OW!" Ross whimpered out in pain as Whitney was removing the briars that got stuck on him, and applying bandages, while putting a dab of alcohol on the spots, so they wouldn't get infected. "Man, why did I get up in his face?" Ross said in despair. "Ow…"

"Sorry about that, Ross!" Whitney replied. "We don't want these getting infected!"

"Besides, Zero's just a meanie, that's all." Luka said. "I told them to get revenge. Right now, He's tasting a bit of Lilac right about now. Or is it lavender?"

"That's good, OW. He deserved it. Guy is as worse than a rabid Xenomorph on casual Fridays…" Ross said.

"Do they have rabies by default?" Whitney asked, applying a new bandage on Ross.

The three laughed together. Even during Ross' laughter, he forgot about his pain.


Confessional: Alien Fan, and Rebellious Girl

Ross: Luka is a good friend of mine. Tina later came back, and told me all about how she gave her the soap to wash Zero's mouth out with. Heck, maybe we could be more than just friends, but I've haven't decided yet. I kinda blew it earlier with the body piercing bit.

Luka: Ross was so brave, standing up to us from Zero… Maybe his name was like that, because he had "Zero Chance of Winning?"

Whitney: This is pretty much the first time I used bandages on someone rather than me or my siblings… It felt good helping someone out.


Flyin' Flounder, Girls Side

Yuki was done streaking Kagura's ponytail. It took a while to choose, but she choose blue, to match the rest of her wardrobe.

"Wow, it looks good, Yuki-chan!" Kagura said to her.

"Yeah, I gotta agree!" Hannah said, as well. "You're a natural!"

"Thanks, but my mom is a real pro." Yuki said to the two.

The girls chatted for a few more minutes, until Gina noticed something.

"Say, Yuki? I have a question to ask. Why do they call you "Yuki", anyway? You don't look Japanese." asked Gina.

Yuki was suddenly silent. "Oh, er… I'll tell you someday." Yuki answered.

"What's up with Yuki?" Gina said. "I hope I didn't cause anything bad…"

"I'm sure you didn't, Gina-Chan." Kagura reassured her.


Confessional: A dark and troubled past, perhaps?

Yuki: I couldn't tell them my real name… It's what caused all my scars… Maybe someday… And for the record, I'm Vietnamese. Got it from my mom's side of the family!


Chris was on the Dock, near a patch of soap left on the ground. He was there to give the outro.

"And so, Zero was eliminated, and all should be well, right? We'll see what kind of surprises awaits the remaining 25, next time, on…"

"TOTAL"

"DRAMA"

"DICTIONARY!"


VOTES:

Zero: Ross

Peter: Ross

Ross: Zero

Xander: Zero

Tina: Zero

Whitney: Zero

Luka: Zero

Selena: Tina


Eliminated: Zero

And so, Zero is the first one out… I made him as annoying as possible, just so people will be glad when he was voted off. And like Luka said, his name had a meaning of having zero chance of winning. Ah, he won't be missed.

NEXT TIME: It's time to play ball, but it turns into a Boxing match… Not a real one, or course

BaconBaka OUT!