I ship Clay and Gemma all the way but I feel like giving John the benefit of the doubt and at least try and makeup for being an asshole, whether it works or not is another story lol The next chapter will be up in the next couple days and will be a lot more Gemma and Clay based, please continue to read and review! I live for feedback so anything you can say is much appreciated! Enjoy xo
John was cruising down the same street he'd been down a thousand times in the last ten years but this was the first time he was truly nervous. Gemma was a daunting woman to confront on any day but when she was broken? He'd be lucky to get out alive. He knew how bad he had handled the situation and the death of his boy had cut him deeply, he wasn't sure which way was up anymore. He felt trapped in a dark pit of loss and dis pair and he knew that no matter how he felt his bride was suffering even more.
She had been here, she was the one that had to watch as the light left their sweet Tomas' young eyes and she didn't have him there to help her pick up the pieces of her shattered heart. His actions had cost him a lot of trust in his wife's regard but he was going to do all he could to get it back.
He had made a lot of mistakes and he had betrayed her trust to a point where if she ever knew the truth forgiveness would be out of the question. If she were to know that his reasons for not being their in his sons final hours were that he had fallen in love with another, gotten her pregnant...his marriage would unquestionably be over and if she had her way he would no doubt be dead before the week was up.
The honest truth that he himself was only now starting to realise is though he loved Maureen he would never love any woman the way he loved his Queen. His family was in Charming and though he might now have one in Ireland too, they would always be first in his heart, he only wished he had come to this realisation before his affair created offspring. But he put that behind him for the issue at hand was far more important, if he were to have any hope at all of salvaging his club and his family he needed his old lady by his side, he needed Gemma and that's where he was going.
He would get down on his hands and knees if he had to but he needed make her see that he was truly sorry for his actions He pulled up to the house and got out his keys, he thought about knocking but he knew she wouldn't answer and he thought possibly that if he was able to catch her off guard that she'd be too stunned to fight him and maybe he could get her to listen
He walked into the house quietly to find Gemma sitting at the dining room table nursing a whiskey and a cigarette in shaky hands, which could be considered a little concerning and 9am but he said nothing, the hole he'd dug himself was deep enough. She looked at him,me yes burning with rage that hadn't at all dissipated since his return but she made no effort to move, not yet.
He could tell by looking at her that things would go flying before the end of the discussion they were about to have and so he wanted first to make sure they were alone and their wouldn't be any innocent witnesses to the carnage that was about to take place
"Jax?"
"With Opie" she replied cooly, exhaling smoke from the cigarette she was trying to focus on to keep herself calm
"Gemma, we need to talk"
"My son is dead, I got nothing left to say" she wouldn't even look at him, her words came out harsh but the way she pursed her lips and looked off into the distance told him they hurt her a hell of a lot more then she was letting on. Only further proving how badly he'd fucked up, Gemma hid herself deep down behind her cool and aloof exterior in front of the world, never really letting anyone see her fear or her sadness, she made herself out to be invincible, untouchable to everyone around her. But until now she had never felt the need to use her walls around him, he could see right through her of course but the attempt to hide herself from him was a testament to the monumental amount of pain he'd caused and it made him want to die
He walked over, kneeling in front over her, trying to catch her eyes but she wouldn't let him
"Please Gemma, I'm sorry" he started as moved his hand out to rest on her knee "I never meant t-"
"Don't!" She jumped back as soon as she felt the weight of his palm on her leg "you don't get to touch me, you haven't earned that right! How dare you come in here and tell me that you're sorry, I watched my baby die! I watched him suffer in pain and I watched as he took his last breath and you weren't there! Where the fuck were you huh? Where were you that you couldn't puck up the god damned phone John?! We called you for three days and no answer!" Her face was red with anger as she screamed at him, letting out all the pain she had bottled up just for him "you left me here alone to go off and enjoy whatever brand of pussy Ireland had to offer while I watched my son die and then have to tell my other son that he doesn't have a brother anymore on my own! Do you want to know the first question Jax asked me after I told him that his little brother was dead?" She continued, tears of hot rage burning down her cheeks "do you? The first thing he wanted to know when he finished crying into my arms, 'where's dad' and the only answer I could give him was I don't know, I don't know where the hell you are or where you've been for the last year but it sure as hell isn't with us so don't you dare come into this house telling me you're sorry"
JT looked at his Queen, at the pain he had created and he felt tears streaking down his own face. Tears of guilt and regret, he should been there for his wife, he should have been there for his sons but he wasn't and there wasn't a thing he could say that would change that
"Gemma I want to fix this, I want to fix us" he pleaded, stepping closer to her again wanting nothing more then to take away the pain he had created "I'll make this up to you my love, whatever it takes I just-" he pressed his lips to hers, cupping her face in his hands and pushing her up against the table with a passion she hadn't felt from him since he began his trips to Ireland, she wrapped her arms around his neck instinctually and he lifted her up onto the table, the feel of his lips was so familiar it was almost soothing even now when she hated him so, the way their mouths fit together was like magic and the musky smell that was so unique to her husband filled her nostrils, making her heart clench in an oh so familiar way, that was the reason she was convinced that they were meant to be but in the heat of the moment when his hands were running up and down her body the face of another filled her thoughts
The image of Clay that invaded her mind, the image of that night and the gentle way in which his large, calloused hands hand cared for her body, touching her in all the right places was enough to break her free of the lustful encounter she was currently allowing herself to be, in her opinion tricked into She broke the kiss, using both hands to push him off of her before delivering a firm slap to the side of his face, the sound of which could probably be heard throughout their humble abode
"You seriously think that little of me John? You think you can fuck me into submission, use sex to get me to forgive you for bailing on your family? I'm not some goddamn crow eater asshole, it doesn't work that way" she said venomously as she jumped down from the table, straightening her clothes
He looked at her completely stunned and taken aback "Gemma I would never-"
"Just go John, please"
Not wanting to upset her anymore and frankly too stunned to fight back JT did as she asked and left in silence. He hadn't meant to try and sleep with her, he certainly had no intention of making her feel cheep he just wanted to take the pain away and in the past when words failed them sex had always been their way of expressing the emotions that threatens to overwhelm them. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that made her stop but he knew that she still loved him, even though she hated him their bonds was unbreakable, their chemistry unmatched and he knew that if he played his cards right he could be on his way to getting her back
