Disclaimer: Sorry to say that I don't own Pushing Daisies…how cool would that be?

Someone to Watch Over Me-
-Chapter Four: Never

Olive Snook often imagined what it would be like if the Pie Make were in love with her. Would he propose to her after being in a relationship for a short time or a long time? Would they get married in the summer or the winter? Would they move The Pie Hole out into the country were they would live with Digby and their two children? Or would they simply stay in the city, in their cozy little apartment above their restaurant where it would just be the two of them for the rest of their li—

"You shouldn't stare," Jonah whispered in her ear, "It's unbecoming."

Olive jumped and dropped the plate she had been holding, wincing as the ceramic shattered into smaller pieces. Ned, Chuck, and Emerson looked to the source of the noise from the booth they were sitting in.

"Olive…" Ned sighed.

"Sorry," she flushed quickly, ducking behind the counter to hide and pick up the broken pieces.

"Allow me to help," Jonah offered, dropping down next to her.

"I've got it, thanks," Olive whispered harshly, roughly grabbing the pieces from his hand that he had picked up.

"Slow down or you're going to cut yourself."

"I'm fine," Olive whispered again, picking up a rather ragged piece of plate. She tried to hide the wince as she felt the ceramic pierce her skin.

Jonah chuckled. "Sure," he supplied, grabbing her hand before she could protest and examining the small cut on her palm. "Because you didn't end up scratching yourself."

Olive frowned. Jonah Burke had been working at The Pie Hole for a week and Olive became more aggravated with him as each day passed. He never left her alone, always there whenever she turned around, smirking in a way that only seemed to be reserved for her. Quite frankly, she loathed him.

"I loathe you," she said, standing quickly, walking into the kitchen to toss the ruined plate, with Jonah following her.

He chuckled as he rummaged through the closet for a band-aid. "No you don't," he said, handing her the small item. "You find me highly amusing and dangerously charming."

Olive snatched the band-aid and quickly put in her cut. "If by highly amusing and dangerously charming," she said, lowering her voice mockingly, "you mean I want to lead you up to the roof and push you off and hope you get hit by a car once you hit the ground, then yes I would say I do find you 'highly amusing and dangerously charming'."

Jonah laughed, "You're words," he said, "How they wound me."

"Good," Olive replied, throwing the band-aid wrapper at his chest and storming from the kitchen.


"Well, it's not like you've never solved a case without using Ned's ability before. You've done it hundreds of times. So I don't see what the big deal is," Chuck spoke, looking at Emerson who sat across from her and Ned.

"Yes," Emerson replied, "But that was because I didn't have Ned at the time. But right now he is fully able to use his ability, and it's still gotten us no where because someone decided to talk to much and waste our minute."

"As much as I appreciate you too talking about me, can you not do it in the way were you pretend that I'm not here?" Ned asked from his spot besides Chuck.

"All I'm sayin' is that if dead girl hadn't blabbed on for fifty-seven seconds, we would have our killer by now."

"You know, I really don't appreciate the term dead girl," Chuck spoke, "Can't you just call me by my name?"

"Well, I would call you Dead Girl Who Was Dead But Is Alive Again Even Though She Really Shouldn't Be," Emerson said dryly, waving Olive down from the kitchen to refill his coffee mug. "But that's just too long for me, so it's 'dead girl'."

"Well--," Chuck began, Emerson rose his brow.

"Thinks he's so funny…" Olive mumbled as she came over, interrupting their conversation. "Thinks he can just walk around like he owns the place," she continued as she began to refilled Emerson's cup. "Charming…ha…amusing…pfft…thinks he's so smart…"

"Um…Olive," Ned said cautiously, eyeing the level of coffee that was slowly rising in Emerson's cup.

"I'll show him smart…"

"Olive," Chuck began, pulling on Olive's dress seam to get her attention.

"Be careful before you cut yourself…ha ha, looks like you did," Olive bit, shaking her head from side to side."

"Olive," Emerson warned as the coffee reached the top of the mug."

"Thinks he just knows me doesn't he? Well I'll—,"

"OLIVE!" Ned, Chuck, and Emerson yelled as the coffee began overflowing onto the table.

"Wha--? OH!" She jumped, realizing what she had done. "Sorry," she said bashfully as Ned looked at her in disbelief as Chuck grabbed napkins and she and Emerson tried to stop the liquid before it pooled into their laps. "I'll just go get a napkin."

"The hell's gotten into her," Emerson mumbled. Ned shrugged as Chuck smiled surreptitiously.

"Sorry, I got it…" Olive said again, as she walked back over, rag in hand. She sighed, "He makes me get all worked up and does this…" Olive continued to rant under her breath.

Emerson rolled his eyes as he grabbed some fresh napkins to wipe his hands on. "Look, can we get back to the problem at hand," he whispered loudly, hoping Olive was too lost in her chore to listen. "Cosmo Karphin is still dead, and we've got no leads."

Olive's head snapped up, Emerson's voice quickly pulling her from her reverie, "Cosmo Karphin is dead?" her face draining of its color.

Chuck nodded, worry sweeping her features at the look on Olive's face. "Yes, he was found last night."

"Lord, I can't believe it," Olive whispered sitting down next to Emerson, forcing the man to move over in the booth. He did so begrudgingly. Olive shook her head. "How did it happen?"

"Car crash."

"Poison."

Ned and Chuck answered at the same time.

"Car crash and poison?" Olive questioned, looking skeptical.

"Well, he was found after his car crashed into a tree," Chuck explained. "The police were going to classify it as an accident when—," Emerson and Ned both shot Chuck a warning look. "When the examiner found traces of poison in his body."

Olive shook her head in disbelief. "Poisoned. I can't believe it…He was the last person on earth to deserve that…" Tears began to form in her eyes as she processed what she had just learned.

"Yes, its quite sad, no if you'll excuse us we have work to do," Emerson said moving over and pushing Olive out of the booth, forcing her to stand. Olive glared at Emerson as she straightened her dress.

"Olive, did you…know him?" Ned asked.

Olive looked to the Pie Maker. "Sure did."

Before he was met with his premature death one Cosmo Karphin had been Olive's Snook coach. From the very beginning, when Olive chose to be a horse jockey, through her untimely win of the Jock Off 2000 and right up until the death of her beloved horse, Pi, Cosmo had been at Olive's side: training, coaching, and cheering. That is, until the day of Pi's death when Olive decided it was time to hang her girth for good, leaving Cosmo without his star pupil.

"He was the kindest man I ever knew," Olive said sadly, hanging her head and shaking it, pushing her tears at bay. "You know, if it were me, the first person I would question would be his wife."

Emerson's ears perked. "You have reason to believe his wife would poison him."

"Well sure!" Olive said quickly, moving back to the booth, making Emerson move once again. "She's loco," she finished, waving her hand in a circle next to her head.

"Loco?" Ned asked.

"Yeah, you know, weird, zany, mad, insane…crazy." She said, as if she had the biggest gossip to hit the town, "Once, right before the Jock Off 2000 Cosmo and I had to stay late so I could get some extra training in. Dorothy found out and thought he and I were having an affair!"

"Were you having an affair?" Emerson interrupted, dryly.

Olive gasped. "No!" she said, elbowing Emerson in the arm. "Now, anyways, she came down to the track with the butcher knife from her kitchen."

"A butcher knife?" Chuck asked, in shock.

Nodding vigorously, Olive continued her story: "I tell you if it hadn't been for the fact that I was still atop Pi and could make a quick get away I would have been--," she slid her hand across her throat indicating what would have happened.

Ned, Chuck, and Emerson shuddered.

"She had jealousy and possession issues," Olive added as and after thought. "But Cosmo loved her. He was loyal through and through."

"Was that the first time she had tried to," Ned paused. "Do something like that?"

"No, Cosmo explained to me, after apologizing a million times, that that was the fifth time something like that had happened. And who knows how many times since," she clarified, shaking her head. "He told me that the first time it happened--,"

"Alright, your little story is good enough for me, lets go," Emerson said, pushing until he and Olive were standing. Ned and Chuck quickly followed suit. "Now, Olive, where does she live?"

"Well…I never knew the exact address," Emerson sighed. "But I could take you there."

"Oh no," Emerson said quickly, "I let you help once before and I'm not doing it again."

Olive's shoulders sagged and she hung her head as rejection once again washed through her body.

"I don't know Emerson, having Olive around this time would help. She does know Mrs. Kariph," Chuck said, walking over to the petite woman and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Emerson Codd cursed under his breath, knowing that Chuck was right. It would make more sense to show up on the steps of the Kariph home with Olive in tow, than without.

"But," Ned spoke, taking a stand beside Emerson, facing the two women. "Someone's got to stay here with Jonah." The Pie Maker still had his reserves about the new employee, even though the man was proving to be helpful.

"I can stay behind," Chuck offered.

"But Chuck--," Ned started.

"It's alright, Ned, besides; I think Emerson is still mad at me for what I did earlier."

"You got that right," Emerson muttered.

"The three of you go; I'll keep an eye on Jonah."

"While you're at it, shove him in the freezer and lock the door for me," Olive said, darkly earning her a bewildered stare from her three companions. "What?"

Emerson rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine, come on," he said to Ned.

"You mean I get to play?" Olive asked hopefully.

"Yes, Olive," Emerson replied, grabbing the woman by the arm and leading her to the door. "You get to play."


"Um, Olive," Ned said as he, Emerson, and Olive approached the front door of the Kariph home.

"Yes?" Olive asked, turning her back to the door and looking at the two men before her.

"Is Mrs. Kariph loco enough to use her butcher knife on us, if she were to find out what we're doing here?"

"Probably," Olive replied, simply, turning to the door and knocking.

"Great."

Emerson chuckled. "Scared?"

"No," Ned replied, defiantly.

After a short pause there was a clicking of a lock and the door opened slightly, a latch preventing it from opening all the way. An eye looked at them, the person hiding the rest of their body. "Can I help you?" a voice asked from behind the door.

"Hello, Mrs. Kariph, it's me--," the door closed on Olive, stopping her mid-sentence.

"That went well," Emerson said.

"She seemed…lovely," Ned added.

"Olive Snook!" Mrs. Dorothy Kariph said as she threw the door open, fully revealing herself to her visitors. "It's so lovely to see you again," she said, stepping forward, taking hold of Olive's hands and placing a small kiss on each other her cheeks.

"You too, Mrs. Kariph," Olive replied kindly, quickly pulling her hands from to the other woman's. "I heard about Cosmo's death and I just had to come pay my respects."

Mrs. Kariph smiled kindly. "Of course you did, dear," she said, stepping away from Olive and straightening the black dress she wore. She turned her attention to the two men standing behind the petite woman. "And you are?"

"Oh how silly of me," Olive spoke before the Pie Maker or Emerson could. "This is Emerson Codd. He was my biggest fan when I raced, and when he heard about Cosmo…well he just had to come along. Isn't that right Emerson?" Olive asked, turning her back to Mrs. Kariph and smiling cheekily at Emerson.

"Yes," Emerson said, giving Olive a sardonic smile, before turning to the older woman. "I had to come pay my respects as well. He was such a great…uh, great man."

Ned stifled a laugh.

"And you are?" Mrs. Kariph said, turning her full attention to the Pie Maker.

Ned opened his mouth, "Well I—I--,"

"This is Ned," Emerson spoke, gesturing to the other man. "He's Olive's fiancée."

Ned turned to Emerson, mouth agape, as Olive turned back to Mrs. Kariph; her smile widening.


"Why…whywouldyou—whywouldyou…why," Ned spoke quickly from the side of his mouth, as he sat between Emerson and Olive on Mrs. Kariph's couch ten minutes later. His arm placed stiffly on the back of the couch behind Olive, the blonde pressed tightly to his side.

"If she's going to make me to be some crazy-ass horse loving freak, then I'm taking you down with me."

"But of all the things you could have done."

"Here we are," Mrs. Kariph said, walking into the room, "Nothing like a good cup of tea, I always say." She placed the tray she had been holding on the coffee table in front of the couch and sat down in a chair across from her visitors. "You know I must say, Olive," she continued on, handing a cup of tea to everyone. "That I never thought I would see you again in your life time."

Olive, Ned, and Emerson all say up straighter on the couch as Ned instinctively pulled Olive closer to him. Olive smiled at him then turned her attention to the other woman. "Yes, Mrs. Kariph, I—uh—quite agree."

Mrs. Kariph smiled and took a sip of tea. "Oh dear me, looks like I've forgotten the sugar. I'll just go get it," she said as she began to stand.

"Oh that's alright, Mrs. Kariph, I can get it," Olive said, leaning forward and placing her cup of the table.

"Thank you, Olive, dear. I forgot how sweet you were. I'm sure you remember where the kitchen is?"

Olive nodded as she placed her hand on Ned's knee to push herself off the couch, squeezing gently. Ned swallowed uncomfortably. "Yes, I do."

"You would," Mrs. Kariph sang-song into her cup as Olive walked around her to the door way.

"Talk to her," Olive mouthed to Emerson and Ned before disappearing into the hall.


"If I were sugar in an old hag's kitchen, where would I be?" Olive asked, herself, arms akimbo as she studied the different cabinets in the room. "If I were sugar in an old hag's kitchen, where would I be?"

Sighing, defeated, Olive walked up to the first cabinet. She placed her left hand on the counter, pushed and stood on her tip-toes, trying to reach the handle, cursing herself for doing this the one day she hadn't worn heals. With the tips of her fingers she managed to grab a hold of the handle and pull the cabinet open.

"Ha," she said triumphantly observing the contents of the cabinet. She smiled when she caught sight of a small container with what could only be sugar sitting on the third shelf, it's label turned hidden from view.

Bracing both hands on the counter-top she jumped, pushing herself up and quickly grabbing at the container. He fingers brushed the plastic, putting it further out of reach. "Crap," she muttered under her breath, bracing herself again. Olive jumped three more times until she was able to grasp the container completely and pull it down. "Double ha," she stated triumphantly, turning and leaning against the counter, when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

Sitting nicely against the wall across the room was a small step-ladder, waiting patiently to be used. "Of course," she said, darkly turning her back to the step-ladder as if it had insulted her.

Turning her attention back to her prize from the cabinet, Olive turned the container until she could read the label. Life-Be-Gone: The One Step Instant Fix for a Husband Who Just Won't Quit, she read.

"Oh Lord," Olive spoke, her eyes widening. "Definitely not sugar."


While Olive came across her lucky, or unlucky, discovery; Ned and Emerson continued to talk to Mrs. Kariph in the parlor.

"I must say, Ned," the woman spoke, "I noticed Olive didn't have an engagement ring on her finger."

Ned coughed nervously, his sip of tea going down wrong. "Well, I—uh…wanted to save up, you know, get her a really nice ring."

Mrs. Kariph smiled nicely. "One she deserves, such a good boy," she said, reaching forward and patting Ned's cheek.

From his spot next to him, Ned could hear Emerson chuckle. "Heh," the Pie Maker coughed, averting his eyes from Mrs. Kariph. "Thank you." Movement in the entry way to the parlor caught Ned's eye. Olive stood, jumping up and down and waving her arms, mouthing his name, trying to get his attention.

When Olive was certain she had Ned was looking at her, she quickly moved her head back a couple times, indicating that he needed to come to the kitchen.

"Um, Mrs. Kariph?" Ned asked, standing, "May I use the restroom."

"Of course, dear boy, just through the hall, two doors on the left," she said, pointing behind her.

"Thank you," Ned said again, walking quickly from the room.

"What?" he whispered, to Olive when she pulled him down the hall and out of hearing range.

Olive held up the container of poison, pointing to the label.

Ned's eyes widened as he spoke. "That's not sugar."

"Definitely not sugar."


The facts were these:

Dorothy Kariph, fifty-eight years, five months, two weeks, and 3 days, finally snapped. After years of being consumed with possession and jealousy, she was once again under the impression that her husband was committing adultery. Finding no evidence of another woman, who she would have gladly killed instead, Mrs. Kariph killed her husband. Scooping Life-Be-Gone into the trusty water bottle that he carried with him everywhere. She waited to give the bottle to him until he left, knowing that once the poison was in affect, Cosmo's car would crash a no one would be any wiser.

A good plan, had it not been for Emerson Codd's love for money, the Pie Maker's remarkable gift to bring the dead back to life, Charlotte Charles' anxious rambling to give the dead a chance at redemption, and Olive Snook's chance connection to the victim.


"So does this mean that I get to help from now on?" Olive asked, anxiously as she, Ned, and Emerson returned to The Pie Hole, that night.

"No," Emerson said, as Olive and Ned stepped out of his car.

"Oh," Olive sighed, looking to Ned as her last hope. The Pie Maker could only offer her a sad smile.

"I'm going home, see you tomorrow," Emerson said, pulling away from the curve and driving away.

Olive and Ned stood awkwardly in front of the restaurant. Ned coughed.

"Look, Olive," Ned spoke, awkwardly, "Despite what Emerson says, thanks for your help today. We, ah, really couldn't have done it without you," he said, smiling his shy smile and digging his hands into his pockets.

Olive smiled. "Sure, thing. I'm glad I could help. And, sorry about the…touching…" she said quietly, pointing to Ned's leg. "But I figured if we had to pretend…"

"Yes, right," Ned spoke. "It's okay, Emerson's fault anyways."

Olive felt her heart sink at the acquisition she heard in the Pie Maker's voice. Was the idea of loving her so wrong to Ned that he couldn't even pretend?

"Hey, you two," Chuck suddenly said as she walked out of The Pie Hole, pulling on her coat. "How was the convention?" she asked, as Jonah stepped into the night as well, locking the door to the restaurant.

"Great," Ned said, smiling at Chuck. Olive's heart sunk further at the smile Ned gave the brunette woman. A smile she had never seen given to her.

"You lot sure do go to a lot of conventions," Jonah said, handing the key to Chuck.

"Well, we're a convention kind of people," Ned quickly explained.

"That's right," Chuck added. "You never what you might find at them." She looked to Ned, "You ready?"

Ned nodded. "Yeah."

"Olive, are you coming?" Chuck said as she and Ned began to walk towards the apartment complex.

Olive looked to the other woman. "I'll be up in a minute," she said, sadly.

Chuck smiled. "Okay, goodnight Jonah, goodnight Olive."

Ned nodded to the other two.

"Goodnight," Jonah said, with a wave.

"Night," Olive whispered, her voice barely audible.

Olive Snook realized, as she watched Ned and Chuck disappear from view, that she would never know what it would be like if the Pie Maker loved her, fantasy or not; because, it appeared, he never would.

"Ah, so it's the boss…" Jonah said, snapping Olive from her thoughts like he did so many times before.

"What is?" she asked, pulling her coat tighter around her small body, thinking it would protect her from Jonah.

"That someone you want to make you happy."

Olive scowled. "No he's not," she said with a bite.

"Oh please, I've watched you stare at him for a week now, and the look you just gave him right now is proof enough."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do."

"Do me a favor and meet me on the roof in about an hour," Olive hissed.

Jonah laughed, "Finally going to push me off?"

"Yes."

"Why an hour, why don't we go now?"

"Because, an hour gives me enough time to make sure there will be a semi ready to run you over the minute you hit the street."

"I didn't say it before but that's really gruesome."

"Good, now if you'll excuse me," Olive said, turning and walking towards the stairs that led to her apartment. Jonah quickly blocked her way.

"Why won't you just admit it?" he asked, bemused and curious.

"Because there's nothing to admit," she said, staring at him coldly, willing him to move with her mind.

"Oh?...Ah…I see now…"

"What?"

Jonah tapped his nose and Olive was tempted to punch it. "The woes of unrequited love."

"What?" Olive asked, her blood running cold.

"Could it be that you don't want to admit it because he doesn't love you back."

Olive froze, looking at the ground. Was she really that obvious? Was she really so far in over her head that the whole world was open to the workings of her heart?

"Ah, I think we have a winner."

"Why," she said, her voice low, "Do you always have to stick your nose in my business?" she asked, looking at Jonah, her eyes as cold as the ice that hung from the buildings around them.

For once, Jonah Burke could not think of a response to say. He was shocked to see that tears were actually brimming in Olive Snook's blue eyes.

"Well?" the woman asked, poking her finger into his chest.

"Olive, I--," he began, reaching out a placing a hand on her elbow.

"No, Jonah," she said, shaking her arm away from him, "Do use both a favor and just leave me alone!"

Olive didn't wait for a reply, brushing pass Jonah quickly, making sure to hit his shoulder as she did so.

Jonah Burke stood in the falling snow, shocked, certain that he had just unleashed the wrath of Olive Snook unto himself.


Author's Note: Well there ya go! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I won't be updating again for a few days. I have to work tomorrow and then I'll be busy all day Sunday…but I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible!

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Your kind words mean so much! Thank you!

Until next time,
The Lonely Goatherd