What does one do when faced with a knife and a psychopath…

Wrong answer!

You lift the sofa from under you and smash it into them, be damned who they are and what kind of relationship they believe the both of you hold. Shizuo lifted the couch and slammed it into the brunet, taking the man's surprise to go sprinting as fast as his feet would carry towards the other room.

Dammit!

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!

This was too much, this was crazy, he was not a masochist! He hated violence and HE HATED THE FUCK OUT OF PAIN!

He slammed the first door he met shut and slid to the floor.

Oh, but Shinra was going to kill him. He was going to be so pissed about no doubt 'hurting the damn flea's feelings~' and Shizuo would have to listen to more crap. He looked around and paused as his eyes met a box in the supply closet. He frowned at the dark spots on the bright packaging. He reached over and flipped open the lid, blinking at the note and the sharp edge of what appeared to be a blade.

In case Psyche gets violent. Again.

Uh huh. This had to be the most fucked up relationship that he had ever seen in his life.

He gripped the blade as he felt something graze his face, looking over to his peripheral vision, he saw the sharp edge of a blade sticking through the thin door. "Tsu-chan~! I wanna love you~ please come out."

Shizuo gripped the sword close and pivoted on his knees, prepping himself for when the door opened.

He was not going to be the one to suffer in this messed up, upside down world. This was not his flea! …

This was not THE flea.

Not his flea.

He hated Izaya…

Shizuo really felt like killing someone right now.

~.~

It felt like he was held in some dreamlike state, unable to escape. The man who was definitely not his Shizu-chan was running his happy, perverted hand down and up his shaft, acting like he was supposed to do such a thing.

That is not yours. That is not yours at all.

Izaya looked up at the man and glared at him, furious.

"Stop."

"Psyche-chan~" The blond murmured the name against his neck and Izaya held back his gag reflex. This was just so disgusting.

"I SAID STOP!"

The hand hovered a moment before the blade left his neck, the blond throwing him from the couch. Izaya stumbled onto his face, feeling pain reel through his nose and face as he landed. What the hell?

Turning, the informant looked over to find one very pissed off blond Shizu-clone.

"What the-"

"You've been cheating on me with Delic again, haven't you?"

Huh? Izaya stared at him in outrage, "and what if I have?"

The blond stood up so suddenly the couch flew back, clearly more intelligent than the informant himself. "I told you to stay away from him!"

"Ooh~ so Tsu-chan does have a trigger as well~." Izaya smiled, "Deli-chan was just so good at some things. He just knew how to hit that one spot that sent me screaming into climax. He was just… ooh," the informant moaned, pleased with the rage that was forming within the man before him.

This was just too fun.

"Then he did this thing with his han-OMPH" Lips met his as the blond jumped him, trapping him against the ground. The man striped him of clothes as though they were nothing more than wrapping paper. His hands claimed their place and Izaya was captured, horrified and aroused unknowingly by the furious, determined eyes of the man before him, encased in his Shizu-chan.

"I never want to hear you say that man's name again." The blond shoved himself into him dry and Izaya screamed out in half pain, half pleasure. "I never want you to go near that man again."

"Shi-s-sh-Tsu-chan," Tsugaru. Tsu-chan. Not Shizu-chan.

"Swear it, Psyche." The man pounded into him again, no doubt ensuring that Izaya would never be able to sit properly ever again.

"…n.n.n…nope!"

The pounding increased yet, the seemingly impossible pace getting faster, he howled as his neck was bit into. "Psyche~"

"Nnn-no!"

His climax seemed more like two, being released within seconds of each other. Izaya felt like he was exploding. His vision grew blurry, going in and out of it. He reached out and gripped the blond, being cradled to the man's chest. "Psy-cha-"

"Okay. No Deli- I mean, I'll stay away from that man. "

The blond nuzzled him closer and wrapped a blanket around them. "I love you Psyche-chan."

Izaya was going to kill this man. He was going to kill him twice. "I-I love you too, Tsu-chan."

The blond kissed his head fondly before pulling away, "let's take a shower, shall we?"

"W-whatever Tsu-chan wants."

~.~

Shizuo looked down at the body under him and sighed in relief. Psyche had been knocked out from him sending the door flying into him.

He dropped the blade to the ground and sighed in relief. There was nothing he wanted to do about this. As far as he was concerned, this man, Psyche, was a louse, a menace to society.

God, but he hated the guy.

Oh yes, cute and adorable, but perverted and violent as fuck! Just because the big kitty in the zoo looks sweet doesn't mean it is. Shizuo sat on the couch and picked up the pipe again, looking at it thoughtfully. How to…

How to use…

This…

Piece of crap.

He sighed and threw the damn thing against the wall nearby, groaning, "God I just want-"

~.~

"Things to go back to normal." Izaya looked over at the blond, sleeping peacefully next to him and sighed. It didn't look too likely…

~.~

A/N: Updates, anyone?