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Chapter 3: Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

"Running away seemed like the easy thing to do because I wanted time

To put a smile back on your face

For once nothing's missing and I feel fine

I was afraid to tell you some things"

-"On/Off" by Snow Patrol

Jess sat on the couch with her back to the arm and her legs up on the cushions. She had Abigail sitting on her stomach, resting against her legs.

"You're getting so big!" Jess smiled at the infant; holding her tiny hands.

"You're such a beautiful little girl, Abby."

Jess frowned slightly.

She didn't want to confuse her daughter with her best friend, despite Abby no longer being alive; but was unsure of how to go about this.

"I named you after one of my best friends. Abby Maitland. She was always one of the strongest women I've ever known." Jess smiled again.

"And I gave you your father's last name even though we never got the chance to marry." She added sadly.

Jess was struck with some guilt as the events of last night washed over her again.

She had given a hug as a friendly gesture for all that he had done to keep her and Abigail safe, but was completely caught off-guard by the kiss and his advances.

His beard tickling her lips as they kissed and how it teased along her throat.

It reminded her of how Connor had kissed her when they had been stuck in the past.

She began to feel the memory of Becker holding her close to him; the warmth from the nearness. His hands finding their way up under her shirt.

Abigail made a noise that brought Jess out of her guilty reminiscence.

Jess found that she had wrapped her arms around herself protectively; steady tears streaming down her face.

She unraveled her arms and pulled her daughter to her; hugging her to her chest.

She gently stroked what little hair Abigail had on her head before rubbing her tiny back soothingly.

Jess was so tired and scared.

She didn't want to feel so alone anymore and she didn't want to have to keep being scared of the future.

She wanted answers.

Needed advice.

Answers she could get some of them from Becker, but she was on her own for advice.


Connor flung his notebook across his lab and watched apathetically as it collided with the wall before joining the three other notebooks he had launched across the room in the past 24 hours.

He had gotten at least halfway through each notebook working on calculations and equations before some memory of Jess would cross his mind and it would dawn on him that he had completely botched a section of his calculations.

He was too enraged to go back and find his errors and fix them. Instead, he would start fresh before the same would happen in a different section of his notes and calculations.

Abby and Matt had come on separate occasions to inform him of current events.

Like when Becker had resigned his post here.

There was never an official reason given for the resignation and Connor simply took it as Becker taking the easy way out of forgetting about failing at his job.

Connor shook his head furiously and choked back a cup of coffee effortlessly.

He was becoming a different person.

Thinking things he knew he shouldn't.

Things like destruction, mania, or why he decided to pull back from field duty.

He had been recommended to take a holiday; but decline several times.

Phillip was getting impatient with his slow progress.

He hadn't said it, but Connor could tell from his mannerisms and his speeches of success and hard work and perseverance.

All Connor had left now, it seemed to him, was his work that kept hitting dead-ends via distractions and haunting memories of Jess.


Jess had set Abigail down for the night in her crib Becker had brought back to the cottage that morning.

Probably as a peace offering after last night.

Becker was in the kitchen doing the washing up from dinner.

Jess wanted a word with him.

She kissed her daughter goodnight before closing the door behind her and entering the kitchen.

Becker had his sleeves pushed up as he shut the water off and proceeded to dry the dishes.

Jess approached him.

"You can just leave those air dry. It doesn't matter." She spoke.

Becker finished drying the plate he had been drying and put it away.

As he went to roll his sleeves back down, Jess noticed something.

"Stop." She commanded, putting a hand on his forearm.

"What are these from?" She inquired, noticing the small silver scar lines crisscrossed on the inside of his arm like a cat had taken to using him like a scratching post.

"It's nothing." He replied, rolling his sleeves down.

"I'm sorry." Jess apologized. "I didn't mean to be so demanding. I was really only curious."

Becker hesitated. "Remember that anomaly alert we had shortly after you started back at the ARC?"

"The Smilodons?" Jess recalled after a moment.

Becker nodded.

"When I pulled you into that cupboard to protect you and the baby, you had gotten defensive and clawed at my arms before I managed to calm you down." Becker explained with some reluctance.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. Why didn't you tell me?" Jess rambled.

"I figured it had something to do with your disappearance and I've had worse pain." Becker shrugged.

"It's a long story. The guy that had kidnapped me had grabbed me around the waist and pulled me through the anomaly." Jess explained, her voice starting to tremble from the memory.

"He was going to take me back to his crew and turn me into—into some sort of wench." She choked a sob.

Becker's fists had been clenched during Jess's brief account. He wanted nothing more than to hurt the bastard who had done this; but figured Connor had already had a go at him.

He drew Jess into his arms and held her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair.

"For everything." He added after a moment.

"What?" Jess asked, hoping for some clarification.

"I'm sorry for not being there to protect you; for not being able to prevent your disappearance; for showing up here and causing you to go into premature labor; and for—last night."

"Abigail and I are both perfectly fine. She was going to come one way or another." Jess forced a smile.

"Yes, but I almost lost the both of you."

"But you didn't. Connor would have thanked you for taking care of us."

Becker forced himself not to flinch.

"As for last night, it didn't happen, as far as I am concerned." Jess finished.

"I didn't mean to—"

"Nothing happened, and we were both overcome with emotion." Jess cut him off, looking him in the eyes before laying her head back down to rest her head on his chest.

"Of course." Becker agreed.

"I hated being here. I'd never felt so alone and terrified of the future." Jess mumbled.

Becker stroked her hair.

"I don't think you or Abigail have to worry about being alone or frightened any longer."

Jess looked up at him.

Becker met her gaze.

He could only keep everyone safe by staying with Jess and Abigail and out of London.

"I'll only stay as long as you want me to." Becker assured her.

"I'd love for you to stay." Jess replied with a smile before hugging him.

"Jess." He spoke in a hushed voice.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to kiss you." He admitted straight-forward, sounding somewhat abashed. "But I don't want it to go anything past what is fine with you."

Jess let go of him.

"I have a daughter." She stated, taking a step back, weighing her options. "I was kidnapped and lost my boyfriend and our friends."

Becker nodded and tore away from her gaze.

"We've become different people to who we were nineteen months ago." Becker pointed out. "We made our choices."

"If it was only a kiss that wouldn't lead to anything, it wouldn't change anything between us. I just—"

Becker took a step forward and lightly kissed her.

"A meaningless kiss like that is acceptable?" He questioned.

"I can't do this, Becker. I don't want this to go past the point of no return and we both feel bad about it later. "

Becker kissed her once more, this time, letting his lips linger on hers before pulling back an inch and kissing her once more.

"Becker." Jess said trying to resist.

Becker forced himself to stop.

"I'm sorry." He quickly apologized.

Jess ignored his apology and demanded the question that had been on her mind. "I want to know why we can't go back to London."

Becker looked away; but Jess reached up and caught his face to turn it back to hers.

A brief look of pain flashed across his face and Jess wondered why.

"Because I ran away." Becker whispered, leaning down and kissing Jess once more.


Phillip entered Connor's lab as Connor chucked his sixth notebook across the room.

"Connor, what's wrong?" Phillip inquired, noting the pile. "You've been having trouble keeping up with your work and you are no longer in the field. I'm worried on the sudden and progressive lapse."

"I'm sorry, Phillip." Connor ran a hand over his face. "Jess's disappearance has put me off. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't even focus anymore."

Phillip smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure she will turn up, Connor. Alive and well."

"Yeah," Connor agreed hopelessly. "I'm sure you're right."

"In the meantime though, I suggest getting everything sorted and back on track, hm?"

"I'll do my best." Connor nodded with a blank expression.

"You should get yourself a cup of coffee, Connor." Phillip suggested. "It'll do you some good."

Connor nodded. "Will do."


Phillip walked back to his office and sat down before picking up his phone.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I believe it's time you follow through on the second half of our agreement. I helped you and now it's time for you to do the same."

"Yes, bring her back." He retorted in annoyance.

"By any means necessary."


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