I must have fallen asleep at the open window. It was still night, and I was very tired when I awoke, but an adrenaline rush kick started my system.
I was leant precariously over the edge, with just the curtain preventing me from plummeting from my death. Drawing a shaky breath, I pulled back sharply, closing the window softly so as not to wake James. He stirred a little, but his breathing remained deep and even. I wasn't keen on getting back into bed, but I knew he would think me rather odd if he found me asleep on the floor. I padded quietly over, and carefully pulled the covers back. I lay down, enjoying the warmth from his body; a sharp contrast to the chilly windowsill. I watched him in his slumber; a peaceful expression on his face. His torso was bare, and I found myself taking his hand in mine, tracing the rough calluses that were the result of years of working on a ship.
I opened my eyes a few hours later, squinting as lemony flares of light filtered through the curtains, threatening to burn my eyelids. James was already awake, sitting up against the pillows with a cup of tea. He gave a gentle smile when he saw I was awake.
"Maria brought some tea up, would you like some?" he asked. I blinked blearily, trying to dispel my sleepy thoughts.
"I…is it morning already?" I asked, having no recollection of falling asleep. James laughed.
"Yes sweetheart. Are you still tired?"
"A little" I murmured. I wondered why; it wasn't very early. Then I remembered the night before. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, my throat growing dry. "Yes, tea would be nice, thank you" I said in a half whisper. I wanted to bury my head under the covers and hide my flaming face away, though it was obvious he had already seen it. James carefully passed me a cup of tea.
"Are you ok?" he asked softly.
"Fine" I said, a little too quick to be plausible. I stared fiercely at the floor, wishing it would swallow me up. I tried sipping my tea to divert my embarrassment, but it served as a pitiful distraction.
"I'll be needing to go down to the docks soon. Do you have any plans for today?" he asked, clearly thinking it was best to ignore my cherry red face.
"I..um, think I'll visit father" I said hurriedly, blurting out the first thing that popped into my head.
"Well, send him my regards" said James, with his usual serene politeness. He placed his empty cup back onto the saucer with a soft clink, and got out of bed. "I'll just have a quick wash, I'll come and say goodbye in a minute" he said. I watched him go into the adjoining bathroom and shut the door behind him. I relaxed, for I had been tense the entire time.
Looking down at my untouched tea, I saw a glimpse of my watery reflection; not much, just an eye or so. I felt a sudden rush of violent disgust at the sight of myself, and set the tea down beside me. I put it down a little too hard, for a bit of tea splashed over the side. I sighed, and stared out of the window, wondering what my life had come to. I felt like a cheater; a whore.
I got out of bed and drew the curtains back, allowing the dawn light to flood the room. My surroundings took on a refreshing hue, and I cheered up a fraction. Looking over at the spilt tea, I set about mopping it up with the sleeve of my nightshift, causing it to become soggy and golden in appearance. I gave it a vague shake, my lips upturned in an odd half-smile. Unfortunately, the teacup happened to be within the vincity of my arm at the time, and it fell to the floor with a loud shatter.
Upon hearing the noise, James poked his head around the bathroom door. He looked as though I had interrupted his shirt buttoning, as a couple were done up skew-if. He looked down at the smashed cup, the carpet greedily absorbing its contents.
"Sorry" I said in a small voice.
"Whoops" he said, with a small laugh. "Don't worry about it sweetheart"
He went back to getting ready and I immediately swooped down and started to gather up the broken shards. I pricked my finger in the process, a drop of ruby blood oozing from the cut. I stared at it, fixated, as it slid down my finger and onto one of the shards.
"I'm going now" came James's voice, emerging from the bathroom, dressed in his usual pristine attire. He shook his head at the sight of my finger. "What am I going to do with you?" he said, bending down beside me. He took my hand, and kissed the cut softly, his lips lingering over it. "Run it under the tap, it'll stop the bleeding" he said, patting my hand gently. "I'll see you later darling" he said, rising to his feet. "I'll send Maria up to clear the china away"
I tried to muster a smile of gratitude, but failed miserably.
