Here we are at chapter four!

I'm glad I am doing well with this!
I get most of these from my real life, which means my life is interesting.

Bahahaha!

By the way, this is a guideline that Tai is writing for other humans.

Enjoy!
Onward!

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The guidelines for living with Giant Alien robots.

Part 4

By Tatyana Witwicky

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Rule #72: Never say,' I don't feel good' in front of Ratchet, you will end up staying in the medbay far longer then you really want too.

(Trust me, don't do it.)

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Rule #73: Never ask my Dad to say, 'Jergins lotion leaves my hands silky smooth.'

(Yes, that includes you, Leo and Miles.)

(Although that thought cracks me up.)

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Rule #74: Never let a drunken Epps sing gospel music.

(Dad was amazed a human man could make his voice so high.)

(I've never seen Ironhide laugh so hard.)

(It frightened everyone else.)

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Rules #75: Never paint the femmes 'fingernails'.

(Arcee looked stylish with bright yellow nails.)

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Rule #76: When Uncle Ron and Aunt Jude stop by with Mojo and Frankie, keep them away from Ironhide and Sunstreaker.

(Or else, Aunt Jude will get the bat.)

(Violence will ensue.)

(And odds are, she'll win.)

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Rule #77: Air Guitar should never be explained.

(Hound still doesn't get it.)

(I still do it.)

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Rule #78: Two gallons of fire proof gel: $220. Flame thrower: $550...

(Watching every bot in the room faint at the sight of Sam's arm on fire.)

(Priceless)

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Rule #79: Never hide the Folgers from Lennox and his team.

(They have guns.)

(And they know how to use them.)

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Rule #80: Never watch 2 girls 1 finger, 2 girls 1 cup, 4 girls finger-paint, or Mister Hands while staying at the base.

(Jolt was in stasis for a full month.)

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Rule #81: Never say, 'Flying Monkeys!' Then run around the base screaming.

(Miles was put in the medbay under Mental watch.)

(I dared him to do it.)

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Rule #82: Never threaten to maim, kill, or injure another human.

(The new comers will take you seriously.)

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Rule #83: No Macarena!

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Rule #84: Whenever Dad calls to check on you, never talk like a woman from India and call yourself, 'Kalindy.'

(So damn funny, though.)

(It was Sam's idea.)

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Rule # 85: Don't play Amateur Surgeon while Ratchet or First Aid or Wheeljack are in the room.

(They were very appalled at all of the methods in that game.)

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Rule #86: Never suggest that the Decepticon motto should be, 'Come to the dark side...we have cookies.'

(Jazz and Barricade thought that was hilarious.)

(Even Dad did.)

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Rule #87: Badger Badger badger badger!

(I've never seen my dad's optic twitch that badly.)

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Rule #88: Never sing Cruella Devil whenever Chromia wheels by.

(Like I said, don't piss her off.)

(Arcee and Moonracer still call her that at every chance they get.)

(She threatened me with dismemberment.)

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Rule #89: Never get a tattoo without Dad or Ratchet knowing.

(Tattoo removal sucks.)

(I didn't speak to Ratchet for two weeks.)

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Rule #90: Never play with a Tazor gun.

(Sam's tongue is still numb.)

(I'm having trouble saying anything with S's in them.)

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Rule #91: Disney songs are a not form of interrogation.

(Starscream nearly blew a circuit after listening to the song from Mary Poppins for two hours.)

(Ironhide laughed hysterically for the rest of the day.)

(Scary.)

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Rule #92: Always be aware that the bots are way, way, way bigger than us.

(I sometimes forget.)

(So does Simmons.)

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Rule #93: Never say, 'Oh, just that pesky Multiple personality disorder acting up again.')

(Just do yourself a favor, and don't' say it.)

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Rule #94: Never flip off Ratchet.

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Rule #95: Never play the Penis game in the base.

(I won.)

(Everyone was staring at me.)

(Sam and Leo laughed.)

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Rule #96: Never set all of the base clock alarms to go off at five minute intervals.

(Red Alert is still twitching.)

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Rule #97: Never fill a gallon drum with bouncy balls, then dump them onto the unsuspecting mechs.

(Ironhide slipped and collided with Dad, causing them both to fall into the wall.)

(They landed in a very awkward position.)

(I think I broke a rib from laughing.)

(Dad was so mad.)

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Rule #98: Never ask Sam, Lennox, Epps, Glen, Leo, or Miles to say something that only a little kid could get away with. i.e. 'I went poopy in my pants!'

(Bumblebee didn't go near Sam for two hours.)

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Rule #99: Never go to a human Doctor.

(Ratchet gets huffy.)

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Rule #100: Never inhale helium. Sam, Leo.

(What is funny to us, freaks them out completely.)

(Jazz and Bee thought the high voices were funny.)

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Rule #101: Never inhale Sulfur Hexafluoride. Mikaela, me.

(Just the name is enough to send any bot into stasis.)

(The deep voices scared a few of the bots into hiding.)

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Rule 102: Never a good idea to suddenly scream out in a accent, 'STOP TOUCHING ME!'

(Miles isn't allowed near me without Jazz or Barricade or my Dad nearby.)

(I thought it was funny.)

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Rule #103: Never yell, 'Fabulous!' whenever Jazz bends over.

(I love his aft.)

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Rule # 104: Never suggest anything to Wheeljack.

(Odds are, something bad will happen.)

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Help me with some more rules!
Bahahaha!

Review!