A/N: DEAR GOD, I AM STUPID! I thought I published this chapter like a month ago. But apparently, it didn't upload. And this whole time I was under the impression that it was out for everyone to read. Sorry!!!!!!!!
BLEH. I apologize (I do that a lot) SO SO sooo so so SO sooo soo soooo SO much to all my watchers (haha...creepers XD) and subscribers and whatever else you guys are! It took me like fucking 2 months to finally publish this damn chapter! First of all, my idiotic lap top got a motherfucking virus that (still!) makes it super slow and makes it die randomly. Then, I got writers block (which I blame onto myself...who else?). Theeen, school got in the way for basically a whole month. Oh dear God I am so sorry to anyone who thought I gave up and/or died! For maybe some twisted type of forgiveness 'cookie', I tried to make this chapter action-y and story-bumper-y. ...What?
Oh, and for anyone that wants to know: the story title was derived from Abi's (main character...?...I don't really know how to explain this) point of view. Hint HINT.
The Joker glared down at us with a wicked grin painted on his face. Like a blur, he pulled out a gun from one of his many pockets and pointed it at the man next to me. My breath hitched in my throat while the guy started to shake uncontrollably. The crazy clown licked his lips.
"We're gonna do this the right way. I can't just hand out job silly-willy, you're gonna have to earn them. So we're gonna have...job interviews. You're u-p." He sadistically called to the cowering man next to me. "Quick, answer me: why should I let you see another moment of your patheti-c little life?"
My brain immediately started planning for this question. I'm young, I have a lot to give to the future...all that normal bullshit. The interviewee's body started to shake from him stuttering so badly. "I-I-I--" He was cut off by a bullet to his head. The Joker looked angry. Why the hell was he pissed? He should be ecstatic right now; torturing people like this.
"Fail." The gun turned to me. "Girly. What use are you for me? What can you, uh, bring to the table?"
I blinked. My mouth ran on its on. I spoke so fast that I could barely understand what I was saying. "I'm small, so I can fit through tight spots that most grown man can't. And I'm quick, I was on the track team last year. I'm pretty good with numbers so I can, I dunno, count all the money you jack. And I...have a young mind that you can easily corrupt...?" I stopped breathing. I couldn't look into his dark eyes so I settled for his tinted green hair. If it looked that dirty from down here-- I wondered when was the last time he washed it..?
He smirked. He contemplated my answer for a second, he swished the taste of my life in his scarred mouth. A grin broke across his ghost-white face. "Pass-ah." He continued with the man on my right. I passed, I survived, I'm alive. I noticed my chest rising and falling rapidly, and realized that my heart was thumping a mile a minute. Now this was the kind of rush I was looking for. That moment was so exhilarating, I was borderline high right now. The adrenaline rushed through my veins like a waterfall. My breathing came fast and hard, my head became light and dizzying. But I was perfectly happy. I looked up at him, my new boss. The most entertaining person in this whole city, maybe even the world. I smiled, I couldn't help it. I hadn't been this delighted in, well, ever.
Another gunshot pulled me back out of my dream-like state. I had to get used to that. Ha, yeah right. I jump at the slightest noise (while emitting an embarrassingly high pitched squeak, I might add), and now I had to teach myself to not cringe at exploding bullets? Good luck to me. I looked over my shoulder to see how many of us there were left. Not many. My stomach churned when I saw the gory were puddles of dark red blood every other person or so and to be completely truthful, it smelled up in that bitch. Another thing that I was going to have to get used to. I'm not a..uh, veryclean girl, I take showers every other day and I'm usually too lazy to even brush my hair, much less straighten and perm it and whatever else teenage girls do these days. Nah, I rock it out au naturale, frizziness and all. 'Sides, hair gets all crunchy and nasty when you put too much shit in it. 'Da Man' as I internally nicknamed the already moniker stamped clown (though I will never ever say it out loud, if not only to...live) clapped his hands together to attain out attention.
The Joker sneered, "Now we just need to esss-capah." He looked at the remainder of us, a powerful glint in his eyes. He bellowed out, "Everyone. On stage. Now!"
I scrambled along with the other candidates up the podium, being kicked in the face several times while doing so. When I finally got up there I glanced over at the others. Most of them were men that looked like they were about to jizz in their pants from all the excitement, but there were a few girls like me up there too, well, they were basically women. Except for that girl that was flirting with the Joker earlier, she had more or less attached herself onto his arm. I leaned forward to get a better look at them since I was about 5 feet away. A hand roughly grabbed the hood of my jacket and yanked me back in line. I turned around to see the motherfucker who thought that doing that was a good idea but immediately spun back around when I saw the fucking giant of a man glaring down at me. First minute on the job and I was already suffering neck pains and bruises. Yay.
Me being the super stealthy stalker that I am, returned to oggling at the Joker and the...leach. God, she was pissing me off. First of all, she was hot, so she just totally brought up my self esteem, yeah! And it looked like the Joker was actually enjoying her attention. Which is a God given miracle on both accounts of her still being alive and him being happy with her.
'What the hell...? Maybe I should dry hump him like she's doing and see where it gets me,' I thought bitterly. My left eye presumptuously twitched. 'On second thought...not a very bright idea.'
Then the Joker did that I didn't expect, much less the bimbo on his arm. He pulled out a simple revolver--well, I thinkit was a revolver, I'm not into guns and the types and terminology, but it looked like one I Googled once. I just plain hate hunting. Fuck the animal killers. People killers are okay in my book, though. Obviously--and put it to his now-hostage 'girlfriends' head. She tensed at first but quickly concluded that this was all apart of the plan. I had no idea what plan she might have been thinking of, but if she was such a Joker lover, then she would've known that he didn't make plans. Everything he does is so...spontaneous and impulsive that there is not a person alive who can predict what he will do at any moment. That's just one of the many things that draws me to him. He is so unordinary and extemporaneous, he just interests me in a way that no other person or event or thing ever has. But not in the 'oh, I want to study and analyze him' type of way. ...No, the curious way. Maybe. I think.
The hostage chick faltered a wiry smile and tried to get comfortable in the Jokers arms. Did they make some kind of escape plan together? This though made me grimace and look away from the two. Like a child with a T.V. in front of them, I immediately turned my attention back to them. It's like I couldn't look away from him longer than 2 seconds. Damn. I felt like a full blown creeper. The Joker flicked his tongue out onto his cherry lips and cocked his head toward the girls badly dyed raven black hair.
"Ah, ta ta taa," he taunted the police officers in a childish tone. He shook his revolver (Pistol...? Simple handgun...? What the fuck was it?!) back and forth like a parent scolding a young kid. "Don't come any closer or the, uh, pretty girl gets it." He started fucking giggling like a school girl at his pun. He pressed the tip of the gun to her temple for emphasis on his treat.
The cops seemed to shy away from the stage for a second. The main one brought the megaphone up to his lips. "Now now, Joker, you don't want to do that," the man mockingly told him. He was acting like this was just some ordinary hostage situation. What an annoying bitch-man. I hope the Joker shoots him in the face. "Just release the girl and we can look the other way as you leave." Was he implying that he would just let the Joker run free?
'Wow, way ta do your job!' I mean, of coarse I wanted him to not get shot at or go to the asylum, but man, he has the whole city rapped around his thin fingers if he can make the police be afraid of him enough to 'let him off the hook'.
The ever-so-in control Joker shifted his weight onto his left leg and theatrically yawned. One of his eyebrows rose in a sarcastic way. "I'm waiting." The girl was starting to get obviously uncomfortable. I heard her whisper to him that the gun was hurting her and to be a little gentle. All was quiet for a few moments in the street. The serenity was disturbed by his booming voice ringing through the square.
"If you now work for me and wish to keep your mundane lives. Get. In. The. Bus." At that moment, a yellow school bus crashed its way behind the podium and into the street. I lost my balance and wobbled on one foot to try to not fall on my ass, thank you very much. When the Joker wants something done, he wants it literally at that moment. Hm, he's a patient fellow. I swung my head in his direction to see if it was time to escape, but instead of getting a glimpse of my new boss, I got a face-full of someones damn elbow.
'Goddamn morons and their flying weenises!' I angrily thought to myself as I checked my nose to see if it was broken. When I retracted my hand from swiping across my nostrils, I saw that it was covered in my still-warm blood. I looked up from my blood stained hand and froze, astonished to see a chaotic frenzy below and around me. My fellow...co-workers were scurrying in a mad dash for the big bus. The innocent townspeople were even worse. They began randomly running about the street, belting out erratic yelps and screams. I paused for a moment and just observed the cluster-fuck that surrounded me. I held onto my wounded nose and let the noise envelope me, my mouth hanging open in awe at the scene before me. Never have I ever seen this much dysfunction in such a close space and me witnessing it all in the flesh.
It. Was. Beautiful. Sort of. Not really. My body automatically went in "Follow the crowd! Don't get noticed!" mode and dove into the sea of hot, sweaty bodies that mostly likely hadn't seen a gym in years. Entering the back of the bus last, I scanned the rows of seats and found to my disappointment that the Joker wasn't even in there. The large vehicle demonstrated its ancient age by letting out a rusty creak as I poked my head though the back emergency exit. Still on the stage stood the Joker and his accomplice. She looked more nervous than ever as she awkwardly wiggled in the tall man's grasp, the gun evermore on her tan temple. I saw her gulp and heard her ask him,
"When can we leave, baby?" She continued to focus her gaze on the panicking crowd. From the corner of my eye, I saw a middle aged women crying hysterically with one arm outstretched toward the Joker and his captive. It didn't take me long to put two and two together, I turned my head away in shame from the girls mother. She reminded me of my own mom, somewhere in the mob, worried about where I had gone to. I could imagine her repeating my name, using the full correct "Abigael", her voice being outweighed by the shrill cries coming from every other person next to her.
The gunshot fired as I searched for my mother in the mass of people. All went silent in the town square, possibly even the whole city. The loud bang! that erupted from the revovler/pistol/killing-thingy reverberated through the walk way, bounced off the building walls, and shuddered past the silent witnesses. My neck just about acquired whiplash from the force and speed of my head turning once again to the podium. My small light blue eyes followed the falling body as it descended out of the Jokers arms. The girl lay dead in front of him with her brain staining the shiny new wood of the stage.
I silently expressed my disgust as the citizens began to react to the horrifying sight before them.
I saw him adjust his purple tie and growl out, "Now." He walked off the podium without another word. As he came closer to the bus, my mind went into overdrive to try to wrap around the scene that happened right in front of me. The Joker just killed her? His little girlfriend? SCORE! And here I was getting jealous as fuck at their...relationship. I made a quick mental note to myself: never go near the Joker unless he needs me. I'm never going to 'come on to him' unless I have a death wish. I don't really feel like ending up a stain on the carpet, if you don't mind.
I scrambled into the bus seconds before he hopped in. I sat in the very last row, next to some muscle man with no neck. My body stiffened when I noticed who sat in the seat across the aisle from me. I shyly dipped my head down, trying to cover my face with my hair. Once again, to no avail; I really need to grow my hair out. I risked a side glance at him and was horrified that he was plainly staring at me and licking his lips. This lasted only a moment though because his eyes continued scanning the rest of his goons. My adrealine rush has started to succumb now.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and gave myself a small smile. For the truth was...I now worked for Gothams very own crazy criminal mastermind. I sincerly hoped life would be more exciting now.
