DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY EXCEPT FOR THOSE YOU MIGHT NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH.
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Woah.
Oh man, it's Rachel's diary. Should I-Should I read it?
Hmmm…no. No, it would be wrong.
But…it might help me know if Rachel's…you know…
Into me or something. But, I would commit suicide if it's another guy.
I stared at the diary and debated with myself whether or not I should continue reading it.
Oh, whatever. I'll read it! I know I wanted to anyway.
I opened the diary to the same page and began reading:
Dear Diary,
I am so terrified. Today was like a weird dream. Didn't I tell you about my increasing feelings for Finn? Well, today…it got a lot bigger. I don't know what to do. I like him a lot and every night, I wish for him but…thinking how much he hurt me before…I don't think I'm ready.
What happened earlier was amazing and I felt like Finn felt the same way as I do. I wanted to tell him that I still had feelings for him. But I'm terrified that he might push me away. I think Glee Club is the only place where I can show him how I feel. I think that's one reason why I commit myself so much to Glee. And that's why I invited him over tonight.
Who knows what will happen? For the first time, I'm nervous. Finn is nothing like Jesse. He's better. I think the past relationship I had with Jesse was great. And every time I remember it, I'm hurt. I guess that's because he…well…he hurt me. So why is Finn any different?
I like him a lot, okay? It's just that I'm terrified that I'm falling for him again and it will cause more sleepless nights and ugly dark eye bags again .I want him but I've got to fight it and push him away. But if I wanted that to happen, then why did I invite him over? Oh no, I'm really confused. Not to mention terrified.
Wish me luck,
Rachel
I stared at the page and read her entry again and again. My eyes were getting moist. I can't believe Rachel feels this way. Does she think that I wanted to hurt her?
Because I would never do that. Well, not again, at least.
The point is, if she loved me and I loved her, why did we have to fight it? I put the diary down and calmed myself down.
So why is Finn any different? That's what hurts the most. I am different! I'm better than Jesse! She said it so herself.
Not being smug about it or anything.
I picked up the diary again and read the previous entries:
Dear Diary,
I think Noah is trying to win charm points on me. To tell you truth, I think it's working a bit. It's hard not to fall in love with someone like him. I just think we're not meant for each other because he's a jock and he belongs to the in-crowd. And I belong to the…Society of Outcasts.
Well, I'm not really sure about that 'we're not meant for each other' part, we might be. I mean, we went out once, didn't we? Noah…Noah…Noah. I love saying that. I feel like a different person when I say that. As if I'm the only one who really knows him. I'm not head over heels in-love with him but he always makes me feel special.
Smiles,
Rachel xx
I held the diary firmly in my hands, almost too sure that I might tear it into two. Puck? Rachel likes Puck too?
I know she said that she's not head over heels in love with him (because she's in love with ME) but I think Puck might stand a chance.
I turned the page again randomly and read the third page in her diary. It was dated October, five months ago:
Dear Diary,
Lately, I've noticed that I'm having a strange little crush on Mr. Schue. I know he feels the same way because he always smiles back at me. That's why later, I plan to show him the song number I prepared and offer to clean his house.
I know he's married and his wife is having a baby and everything but it doesn't hurt to have a little crush, does it? I mean, what am I supposed to do, keep on chasing some other boy who obviously doesn't love me back and the kiss we had when we were having a small picnic wasn't true at all? *takes deep breath* You might know that I'm talking about Finn.
Anyway, bye bye! Off to Glee practice now! I need to correct our pianist. The song number we did last week was out of hand.
Love,
Rachel Berry
Oh. Oh, so now Mr. Schue too?
Like how many guys are gonna stand in the way, exactly?
Well, I have to think right (which I admit I don't do quite often). But, thoughts of Rachel with Puck and Mr. Schue crowded in my head.
I can't let that happen. Rachel has got to end up with me.
A strange feeling is building up inside of me. It must determination. And, true love for the girl—
Prrfffttt.
Oops. Sorry there, I farted. Now where was I—?
Oh, right.
And, true love for the girl I care about. I'm gonna get Rachel if it's the last thing I do.
Putting the diary in my bag, I smiled.
Hey, suddenly I don't feel stupid anymore.
Anyway, off to Spanish class now. And now, suddenly I felt like I was fluent in Spanish.
Spanish Class. Mr. Schue…
I felt my jaw tighten and let my mind say "Adiós, Mr. Schuester."
My eyes narrowed like I was some antagonist in a movie.
Wait, it is Adiós, isn't it?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I was surprised how well this story turned up especially when I read your comments/reviews. P.S The next chapter is still not in Rachel's house. I've got a little something more for Finn to do...
They always make me want to continue. Keep your comments coming and I'll keep this story going!
Stay tuned.
P.P.S The rivals I'm gonna include are: Puck, Jesse and Mr. Schuester. I'm not saying who Rachel will eventually end up with.
P.P.P.S I'm gonna include the other characters a bit. We all wanna know what Sue would do, right?
-fernadel17-
