AN: I don't know if many people realise this, but I'm Australian. It's coming into winter over here, and as I do every year I caught a really horrible cold. Honestly, something happens to me with every change of season. When it becomes summer I get a fever, autumn I get a sore throat and spring is a series of headaches. I like the seasons themselves, I just don't like the lead up to them!
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"Oh dear, Raito, it looks like you're getting married across the border," Matsuda exclaimed.
"You're the narrator. Don't get so excited by your own story," Raito said with a frown. "Why did the carriage take only moments to be prepared anyway? How is that possible?"
Turning to him sharply, Matsuda's mouth opened ready for him to respond, and then closed again.
"...you don't know?" Raito asked.
Matsuda opened his mouth again, and closed it. "Watari!" he said loudly.
"I – the palace's butler, that is – had sent the serving girl to get one prepared while their Highnesses had been becoming intimate. The prince has very little time left, you see," Watari explained.
"And on that note, can we begin-" Matsuda lifted his book, quick to move past his mistake.
"When do I come in?" Mello interrupted. "I'm bored."
"Yes, yes, we're getting there. Now..."
And it was so that Prince Raito got into the carriage to head to the land of very unattractive men in order to find a bride, since everyone had decided that he wouldn't be getting one in this kingdom. Just before he stepped in, though, his parents stopped him to say a last word to him, since their characters wouldn't be back any time soon.
The queen went first, barely holding back her tears. "Bring me back a souvenir, son. And I don't mean an unattractive man. A postcard, or one of those shirts or something like that would be good. Yes. Have fun."
"Now, you've got to remember a few simple rules while you're on this quest for love," the king told him when his wife had finished. "First, don't trust the lumberjacks. The best thing a lumberjack in this kind of story ever gave you was an axe that you could use to defend yourself from him. Right frightful people, those lumberjacks. Second, you'll be waylaid at some point in this journey. Don't, and I repeat, DON'T, sleep in a stranger's house, unless you want to end up married to a dwarf or a bear with no sense of temperature. And third-"
"You're not being very helpful to me here, Mogi," Matsuda stopped him. "I may be the narrator, but there's still only so much that I can work with here and you seem to be taking away a lot of my options."
"Oh. My apologies," the other man said.
"That's all right. Please, continue," Matsuda nodded.
"Son," King Mogi began again after his last attempt at saying goodbye. He put a hand on Prince Raito's shoulder, to reaffirm their manly bond as father and son. "Don't wear a red hooded cloak, eat any mushrooms, touch a loom, say that his name is 'Rumpelstiltskin', trust a lumberjack, follow the pretty light, sleep in a stranger's house, break the mirror, make a dress out of curtains, bewitch the woodland creatures with your beautiful singing voice or make a cake with magic. Okay? Good. See you in a bit, then."
"Mogi!"
"It's 'King Mogi', actually. You don't have that written down in your book?" he asked seriously.
"I don't think he has anything written down in that book..." Raito said distractedly, his attention on L who had gripped his hand tightly during the speech about lumberjacks.
Misa blinked. "Then how does he read from it?"
"Ah...Watari?" Matsuda said weakly.
Watari just shook his head at him. 'I'm not in this scene' he mouthed emphatically.
"I'd help you out, but I still don't have a part," Mello told him.
"Can we please just get on with it?!" Matsuda said in frustration.
"You're the narrator, you should be the one who decided when we get on with things and when we don't. Right?" Yagami-san pointed out.
"Right. Oh!"
"Hmm?" Raito looked away from L. Matsuda just stared at him in surprise for a few moments before clearing his throat and continuing his narration.
So, Prince Raito heard these words from his loving parents and the realisation that he wouldn't be seeing them for a week hit him and he shed a tear as he got in the carriage. Waving goodbye to them, he began on his quest for love unsure of where exactly it would take him.
"I really like that, by the way, Mogi. 'Quest for love'... It's great," Matsuda grinned at him.
"Hey, you can't just get annoyed at us for interrupting and then do it yourself," Yagami-san frowned.
"It's just a quick pause so that I could compliment him," Matsuda said defensively.
Anyway, the carriage had gone only a few miles before it was halted by a figure on the road. Sitting inside, Prince Raito was surprised when it stopped and none of the servants opened the door to offer him some form of food or drink. Looking out through the window, he saw the servants running off into the woods and he was surprised some more. He looked through the other window and noticed the figure approaching the carriage, a hood over his face and a gun in his hand.
Very angry that he would have to find some new servants thanks to this man, the prince flung open the door and stormed up to him. "Hey, you! What's with this approaching-with-a-gun-and-hood business, huh? Geez, I've only got seven days here!"
Before the prince could finish telling him why he needed those servants and it wasn't good of the mysterious person to just wave guns around, he found a gun pressed against his chest. "Oh come on, now, that's not cool!" Prince Raito complained.
"How is a gun not cool?" Mello scoffed.
"Quiet, it's not your turn," Matsuda shushed him.
The man smiled scarily through his hood and Prince Raito felt a shiver run up his spine. "Stop talking. My gun doesn't like it, and it's not good to make it angry."
"Wait, who said that? That was actually pretty creepy..." Prince Raito wasn't sure what to do with his life in such peril so early in the story, and taking advantage of his confusion the man pushed him up against the side of the carriage violently.
"What did I just say! You need to be more careful, my dear, or there's nothing stopping a bullet from ending any chance you have of a happy ending to this story," the hooded figure warned him.
"M-Misa?"
"Correct!" the man said loudly, although it turned out he wasn't actually a man at all. "I am Highwayman Misa, and I'll be the one who goes home with your riches, and your carriage, and, hopefully," she pushed the gun against him harder, "your life, today."
"Wow, she's as good as Watari. I didn't even recognise her voice," Yagami-san leaned over and whispered to Mogi.
"Yeah, it's really different," Mogi agreed.
"Did I hear somebody talking?" Highwayman Misa said menacingly. "Was it you, rich boy? Are you asking me to bring you death?"
"Uh...n-no," Prince Raito shook his head. So quickly the prince found himself in one of the predicaments his father had tried to warn him about, and there wasn't a dwarf, woodland creature or even a lumberjack in sight that could help him out of it.
"Whoa, whoa – why are you putting the book down?" Mogi asked.
"Because we're taking a break," Matsuda smiled at him. "I'm hungry."
"But you can't do that, not at this part!" Yagami-san, Mogi and Raito shouted together.
"I'm also the narrator," Matsuda reminded them. "So unless you want your character to be cursed or killed or to put on forty pounds, I'd be quiet and enjoy the break."
Unable to fight back, the three huddled together. "This is misuse of power," Mogi complained.
"How can he just stop it there of all places?" Yagami-san nodded.
"She's not really going to kill me, is she?" Raito asked, distressed.
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AN: Well...Misa's my chosen antagonist. I had to actually imagine her with a gun, getting all aggressive towards Raito before I could write any of her dialogue. The way I see it (and I can tell you because this isn't going to get written in), Matsuda and Misa had plotted some revenge on him for breaking up with her. That's why he's not all that surprised and is letting her bring some PG into his G story. But, you know. Who am I to say.
