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Chapter Four: Change
Edward's POV
She forgave me. As crazy as that seems. As much as I don't deserve it. She forgave me. And now my soul is complete again. For once I feel like I have one. Bella gave it back to me when she went against her own father… for me.
And now here I am, in her bed, with her wrapped up in my arms. She was fast asleep, until she woke after having a nightmare. From Charlie's thoughts downstairs, before he went to bed, Bella had been having these nightmares ever since I left. It was clear that it was my fault.
Now she wouldn't even let me take the blame. Which is ridiculous. It's my fault she was having nightmares. It's my fault she retreated inside this shell. It wasn't just her mind that was hiding behind a shield anymore, it was her.
I was just about to drop off to sleep again when I heard Bella say the last thing I would wish for her to say.
"Edward?" She asked, sounding worried.
"Hmmm."
"I feel weird." I came out as a breathless whisper, but that was all I needed to really wake up. I sat up again whilst she remained lying down.
"What do you mean? What is it?" My voice finally showed the panic that crossed it whenever Bella was hurt or in pain. The panic I always managed to keep from showing when I was a full vampire.
"My throat is burning."
"What do you mean, your throat is burning?" God, please say this isn't what I think it is.
"It's like heart burn… but worse. And I can smell something." Please don't say it.
All of my internal ramblings made sense. She was becoming like me. …Too much like me.
"What can you smell?"
"Something sweet." Definitely too much like me.
Before falling asleep, I'd taken off my jacket and placed my cell phone on Bella's bedside table. I quickly reached for it; I wasn't even paying attention to the screen as I dialled the number I wanted. I kept one arm around Bella while I pressed the phone to my ear. The receiver of said call picked up on the second ring.
"Edward?"
"Carlisle, something's wrong with Bella." I rushed out, my arm tightening around my reason for existing.
"Edward, calm down. Explain to us in detail what's going on." Carlisle said in a calm, understanding and patient voice.
"Us?"
"Your Mother and me."
"Esme?" I asked in question for her to confirm that she was there.
"I'm here, Edward. We're in the car." Esme verified. They must have left earlier and I must be on speakerphone. "What's wrong with Bella?"
"She's becoming like me." It was all I could choke out. She was becoming like me. In a way I was happy… happy that she was going to be equal to me in strength, hearing and speed. But in another way, I was afraid and worried that she was becoming like me. All the pain that she would feel – if she wasn't feeling it already - would be all because of me. "I think she's thirsty."
"Edward, we're nearly in Forks, Esme and I will go straight to Bella's house. The others will go and set things up. Be ready for us." Carlisle instructed, instantly in leader mode. Bella had never experienced the thirst before, if she got wind of Charlie's scent, she could go into newborn mode and begin the hunt with only me to hold her back.
"What about Charlie? He knows I'm back but if you turn up suddenly, he's bound to get suspicious."
"Be waiting outside, but keep checking on his thought patterns. I'll have Alice search for any interference." He directed, reminding me that he had Alice driving alongside him in Rosalie's BMW.
"Be careful, Edward. Keep Bella distracted. We'll see you soon." Esme finished the call and with a sigh from both sides, simultaneously, we disconnected the line.
I placed my phone back on Bella's bedside table. Bella shifted in my arms. She turned to look at me, her movement quicker than an average human.
"Edward?" She asked, wanting to know what was happening to her.
"I think you're getting what you wanted." I said, quietly, silently praying that she wasn't in any pain. She froze, but I couldn't name the emotion in her eyes. But I was guessing that it was fear. "I'm sorry if you don't want it anymore, but I don't think there's a way to go back. It's a miracle that I changed back half way."
"Of course I still want it. I just don't understand how, you haven't bitten me." She still wanted to become like me. I didn't know if I was happy or sad at that notion. Bella sat up in another rapid movement. She looked around her, noticing how different her view of things were now. Viewing things through the eyes of a vampire in human form was extreme in reality. You could see everything and it was a comfortable stance to be in, but the knowledge of the ability was impossible and unexplained.
"I don't know, but I promise you, I won't rest until I find out."
"You really shouldn't." Bella said. I looked at her, confused. "You're part human now; it would be too dangerous if you didn't rest when needed. You'll make yourself sick." I was amazed, even though she was essentially losing a part of her humanity; she still worried about what was left of mine. I held her close to me and breathed in her floral scent. But now there was something new to her, she had the fragrance of a vampire, sweet like honey. All too soon I let her go. We needed to be ready for Carlisle and Esme.
"Come on, my parents will be here soon. Carlisle will diagnose just what is happening to you, and how." I said, taking her hand and getting off the bed, pulling her with me.
We had fallen asleep in our clothes, so in an effort to hurry, Bella and I detached ourselves from each other's arms, put on our footwear and grabbed our coats from the back of the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I took my phone from her nightstand and slipped it into my pocket.
I deliberated taking Bella out of the window, but I was still worried about her human side. But I didn't know if I should risk taking her past Charlie, she seemed in control now, but if she caught his scent would she remain in control?
I watched as she pulled her hair out the back of her jacket and let it splay across her shoulders. It hit me then that she really was mine. Out of all the people she could have had, she picked me and I loved her endlessly for it.
"How are you feeling?" I asked as I wrapped an arm around my beautiful Bella's waist.
"Okay, I guess. My throat is still burning, but I think I'm okay to be around other people. I can smell your blood, and Charlie's."
"You don't feel like you need to hunt?"
"No." She replied. "I'm ignoring how it appeals to me."
"Let's go then." I opened her bedroom door swiftly, but quietly. Charlie's bedroom was across from Bella's and his door was slightly ajar. He'd left it like that in an effort to eavesdrop on any conversations Bella and I might have had, but all he heard was silence coming from our sleep induced states. Unfamiliar with sleep – apart from watching Bella – it took a while for me to drop off, so I listened in on Charlie's thoughts; he'd rang Renee to tell her of my return. From what I'd picked up from his side of the conversation, he was trying to convince her to be angry with me but all she felt was relief. After another feeble attempt he ended the call and fell into an anger-filled slumber.
Bella held on to me tightly as we crept from her bedroom, walked across the landing and began to descend the stairs. As we passed Charlie's room she took a restrained but experimented breath. She sighed and smiled in relief. I mirrored her smile. She didn't want to hunt, she was in control and I was so proud of her.
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, we went straight to the door. Checking on Charlie's thoughts, it was clear that he hadn't heard us, he was dreaming of different ways to kill me. Some of his ideas were very imaginative and quite comical.
Bella unlocked the door and opened it as gently as she could. We slipped out into the front yard completely unnoticed by Charlie or anyone else. We didn't have to wait long for my Volvo to appear, it swiftly drove up to the sidewalk, its engine a quiet purr. Carlisle kept the motor running, but he and Esme got out and rushed up to Bella and me.
Esme pulled Bella into a huge hug, which she returned just as enthusiastically. Carlisle walked up to me; he put a hand on my shoulder and studied my expression diligently.
How is she? He thought. I knew he was asking me more than 'is she okay?' He was asking me how she coped when we left. I shook my head. She really didn't cope. He sighed.
"Oh, Bella! Are you okay?" Esme soothed. We're back. We're all together. Everything will be fine. My Mother kept on chanting in her head.
"I'm fine. So much better now that Edward is back."
"It's good to see you, Bella." Carlisle said with emotion, he always thought of Bella as his daughter.
"It's good to see you too, Carlisle." Bella replied, also giving Carlisle a hug and judging by his surprise, he wasn't expecting it, but he returned it.
"Let's go back to the house. The others are there now." He said once Bella had released him. Bella came back over to me and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her, she leaned into my side and rested her head on my shoulder.
Would you like to drive? It is your car. Carlisle thought. I shook my head; all I wanted to do was hold on to my Bella. We walked over to the car and both Carlisle and I held open the door for the other halves of our souls. Esme got in the front and Carlisle walked over to the driver's side.
Bella slipped into the car but slid over to the other side giving me room to get in, instead of walking round to Esme's side of the car. Checking on Charlie's thoughts once last time – nothing there apart from more ways of killing me – Carlisle released the hand brake, shifted the car into gear and drove away. There wasn't really time to talk in the journey to the house; it only took 2 minutes and 34 seconds before we pulled onto the drive. There may not have been talking outside the realms of my mind, but inside I could hear everything.
Rose and Emmett were in their room unpacking. Emmett was wondering when would be the acceptable time to take her away to have some private time. I shuddered at that, and Rose was currently admiring her reflection in the mirror she was hanging and mulling over her own perfection. Again.
Alice was in the living area, jumping up and down waiting for us to return. She was excited to see Bella. She missed her human sister very much. Jasper was watching Alice; he loved it when she was bubbly and happy. It had been a while since she was this enthusiastic and he missed it. Of course he blamed himself for her lack of vivacious attitude since September.
It had only been a few weeks since Bella's disastrous Birthday party and it seemed like all of us had that spark taken out of our lives the day we left. I realise now what that spark was, and how stupid I was to leave it. It was Bella.
