Homosexual Panic
"Homosexual what?"
"Homosexual panic," said Sai. They had left the bridge and were making their way through the darkened streets. "It's the intense anxiety that many straight men feel when the subject of homosexuality comes up. As you've seen, it's a powerful tool."
Sakura walked beside him, not bothering to remain a step behind him as she had last Friday. "And that's why you do this? Because it doesn't affect you?"
"That and other things." He glanced over to her with a sly smile. "Part of that, I suppose, is that I have a bit of sadistic streak."
He continued on. "The trouble is, the more I rely on that tool, the weaker it gets. Initially, all I would have to do is get close to them or kiss them or start touching them in certain places. Now, it seems like I'm having to do the most extreme things to get some of them to initiate their catharsis."
She looked out at the dark water of the Nakano River. She tightened her grip on the medical bag. "Do any of them start...I don't know...touching you back?"
"It happens. They don't become gay, obviously, but some may have a bisexual nature that they never knew was there. For others, it's...more complicated. Sometimes, their physical need to touch and be touched overcomes their repugnance toward homosexual contact."
"Is there anything you won't do? I mean, all that stuff you said about his family was-"
"No. As far as I'm concerned, nothing is off the table. Nothing is sacred."
He glanced over at her again. "When you treat your patients, do you refuse to do things that hurt? You wouldn't be much of a doctor if you did. Needles, sutures, saws,..." He reached up and pretended to rub his jaw. "...and the occasional right hook."
"Sorry," she said. "But you were kind of an asshole when you first joined Team Kakashi. Now..."
He shoved his hands in his pockets. "The truth is, I have no idea who his family was. Most of us were found in the wreckage left by the nine-tailed fox, and we don't know whose families we might have belonged to. Deep down, we all live with the fear that we really are the sons of whores and cowards and traitors."
"Are you ever afriad of that? "
He stopped. He was silent for a moment, and then he continued walking. "No. Never."
She took her seat, and set her medical pouch beside the chair. The large camera that was in the corner of the room was gone, but the small camera remained mounted on the wall. She pointed at it. "When are you taking that thing down?"
He looked up at it. "Eventually. I keep forgetting it's there." He looked back at her. "Okay. What are the rules again?"
"Watch. And only say 'Yes.'"
"And don't interfere. You bent that rule last week, remember? Don't do that tonight. Especially tonight. Understand?"
"Sure." Before he could object, she said, "Yes."
When Sai returned from the neighboring office, he led another masked man into the room. He was shorter that Sai, and his body was darker and a bit more muscular. As before, Sai carefully removed the rope from the man's neck and coiled it neatly.
This time, Sakura's eyes went to his penis without the slightest hesitation. The flesh was darker this time and a ruddy foreskin covered the head. His balls were darker still. I wonder if they taste different, just like dark chocolate tastes different.
She lightly slapped her thigh for thinking such a dirty thing. She slapped it again when she imagined herself kneeling in front of him. Leaning forward. Resting my cheek against his thigh. Feeling the muscles. The hot blood, rushing. His scent, strong. My tongue, reaching out, licking his- Slap.Working my tongue along the underside. Feeling it get hard. Long. Big. Wanting me. To put it in my- Slap!
"You okay?" said Sai.
Her face turned red as she grabbed the edge of the seat. "Yes." She stared at the floor and listened to her pounding heartbeat.
She looked up again when she heard a ratcheting sound. Sai was using handcuffs to secure the man's wrists behind his back.
She couldn't help but to let her eyes wander to the man's waist again. His penis was growing longer.
Sai stood behind the masked man and spoke into his ear with a rough whisper. "You can smell her, can't you? Her scent. That's what's making you hard, isn't it?" Sai leaned in a little closer, pressing his body against the man's back. "Or it is me? The feel of a man's body?" Sai shifted slightly, aligning hips with the man's. Then Sai pressed in closer. From the difference in their heights, she could tell that Sai's crotch was grinding against the man's bound hands.
Sai's whisper grew a little louder. "Isn't that what's making you stiff?"
Sakura looked back at the man's crotch. His cock was nearly standing out straight, and the foreskin revealed more of the pinkish head.
Sai reached up and around the man's chest, grabbing the lump that was probably his chin. He turned the man's head toward him a little. He pressed his hips in tighter. "Is that what you want? My dick? You want to suck my dick?" Sai slapped the side of the black bag. "Like a faggot?"
Sai pulled the bottom of the bag up, just enough to uncover the man's mouth. He thrust two fingers between the man's lips. "Suck it, faggot. Like it's my big, hairy dick. Suck it until I come down your throat. Isn't that what you want? To feel a man draining his balls into your mouth? His sperm, oozing down your throat?"
She swallowed. All of the talk about sucking was making her own mouth water up. She grabbed her seat even tighter. It was getting harder to sit in a ladylike fashion. The impulse to do something terribly shameful was becoming intolerable.
Sai's eyes glanced at her for a moment. "You know why I brought her, don't you? So that she'll keep me from going too far. From doing something that you might regret in the morning." Sai smiled. "Yes. We're going to play that game. Excited yet?"
The man's penis shot up, as if responding to Sai's question. The pale head was almost halfway exposed. A pearlescent drop was starting to form at the tip.
Sai pulled his fingers out of the man's mouth, wiped them on the man's belly, and then he pulled his hand back to reach into one of the pockets of his leather jacket. He pulled out a shiny metal object. When Sakura realized that it was a surgical scalpel, she nearly jumped out of her seat.
"What shall we start with? The top half?" He reached around and held the knife in front of the man. Then he peered around the man's shoulder to get a better look at his chest.
Sakura held her breath when she saw the blade touch the skin near the few scraggly hairs that grew on the man's chest. The blade scraped the skin, shaving the hairs off. When the blade lifted, she exhaled.
"Feel how sharp that is? Sharp as a razor. It could probably cut through nearly anything on your body. Including..."
She grabbed her seat tighter when Sai laid the scalpel against the man's nipple. When she noticed that he was pressing the unsharpened back side of the blade against it, her grip loosened.
"I'm going to cut you, faggot. Just enough to see the blood come out. Ready? You won't feel much of anything. The blade is very sharp." Sai's voice became louder. "Isn't that right, Doctor? That extremely sharp blades like these are nearly painless when they slice through a patient's flesh?"
She crossed her arms. Bastard! Is that all you needed me for? Could have rented yourself a fucking parrot. She glared at Sai. "Yes."
Sai looked back at her. He gave her one of his fake smiles. "Got your medical kit handy?"
Asshole. Making me haul that heavy-ass pouch all the way across town. And for what? Your fucking make-believe power trip? Go fuck yourself.
"Yes."
"Then let's begin. On the count of three. One."
The man trembled.
"Two."
He trembled again and made a small whimper.
"Three." The dull edge of the knife slipped across the top of the man's tight, puckered nipple. He convulsed once and then stood still, cringing, his head bent.
Sai moved around the the man's side and then leaned forward so that his face was over the phoney cut. "That's a beauty! Hasn't even started to bleed yet. Wait. Here it comes. Here it comes."
Sakura saw Sai pucker up and form a blob of spit between his lips. She smiled when the blob dripped down towards the man's belly. When it hit, she saw the man convulse several more times. Clever little bastard, aren't you?
Sakura was sure that the man would start crying but she heard nothing more than his labored breath under the black bag.
Sai frowned. He waited for several seconds before speaking. "This used to be enough to satisfy you, faggot. Making you suck my dick or lick my hairy anus. Cutting your nipples. But you need more than that, don't you? You need me to do that."
"No," said the man.
Sai's hand shot down and his fingers slapped the man's testicles. When the man bent over from the pain, Sai grabbed the black bag and yanked him back up.
"Shut up! You know that you're not allowed to talk." Sai yanked the bag again. "Obey your orders, cock-sucker. Remember that Danzo has given me permission to do anything I want to you. Anything. Even slicing your dick off."
Sakura watched Sai lay the back side of his scalpel across the man's erect penis. She was surprised that he could still keep it up after having his testicles flogged. She tilted her head and watched the blade, wondering what trick Sai was going to pull this time.
When the man started shaking, Sai said, "Hold still. I can't make a clean cut if you won't hold still."
Sakura could see that the man's quivering had stopped. From his awkward posture and his clenched muscles, she could tell that he was using a lot of force to remain motionless.
Sai smirked at Sakura. "Ready, Doctor? If the worst should happen?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes."
"Okay. One." He tilted the scalpel until it was against the side of his shaft. When he did, the man whimpered again.
"Two." He shot her a glance. She stuck out her tongue at him.
"Two and a half." He rotated the scalpel so that the sharp edge was against his skin.
Sakura tilted her head further, trying to guess Sai's game plan.
"Three." He sliced downwards.
Sakura saw the man turn away. She didn't have enough time to see if he really had been cut. Then she saw blood dripping down his dark testicles.
When he turned back toward her, she could clearly see the deep laceration and, inside, the pink, spongy mass of the corpus cavernosum.
Then she heard screaming. She looked up at the man's face. Sai had removed the bag and the man was staring down at the incision. Tears ran down his face as he beagn to convulse.
Sai helped him lay on his side. He wailed as a pool of blood formed on the dirty concrete below his hip.
Sai calmly reached over to unlock the handcuffs. "Uh, Doctor. I think we could use your services."
For a moment, she sat quivering, her eyes locked on the bloody mess. Then she came to her senses and grabbed her medical pouch.
Sakura numbly stared at her ice cream anmitsu. The cherry slid down the dissolving pile of whipped cream and fell off the side onto the table below.
Sai scraped the last of his pudding from the bottom of his glass. "He has a severe phobia about castration."
She nearly jumped out of her seat. "Thank you! I never would have guessed! Think you could have told me that an hour ago?"
He glanced over at her. "Would you have still gone?"
"No! I mean, you almost cut off his-" She whirled her head around, looking to see if anybody could hear them. There were no other patrons at the surrounding tables.
He sighed. "I avoided the major blood vessels. It only looked bad."
"It looked horrible! He's lying there, and he's naked, and his blood's coming out, and he's sobbing like..."
"We talked about this earlier. I need to hurt people to help them. And he's one of my worst cases. Homosexual panic won't do it anymore. I think he's starting to enjoy being abused. And faking the castration isn't working, either. I had to go further."
He put his hand on hers. "And you helped me do that. Thank you for-"
She yanked her hand away. "No more. That's it. I won't do this anymore. Get somebody else."
"There is no one else, Sakura. But if you can't handle this any more, I understand. I won't try to make you come." He turned in his seat and faced her. "But know this: what we did tonight saved that man's life. Thank you for that."
She crossed her arms and cut her eyes over to him. "So what's next for him? I mean, what are you going to do next time? Cut it all the way off?"
Sai smiled. "Fortunately, I won't need to answer that question for a few months." He smile faded. "But you're right. Eventually, the subject runs out of options. Nothing has enough power to initiate the catharsis. Then..."
She turned toward him slightly. "Then? Then what?
He stared at her dripping dessert with a distant look in his eyes. "When it happens, they start crying. Usually, they don't even know they're doing it. The tears just start coming. The rest happens soon after. Seizures, cardiac arrest, respiratory failure. The worst was the one who forgot how to breathe. The part of the limbic system which controls breathing just...stopped. He just sat there, mouth open. knowing he needed air but with no idea how to get it. Worked on him for hours, pumping his chest. Terrible."
She huffed. "I'm not letting you sucker me again. I won't come with you next week. Or ever. I'm done."
He rose. "That's fine. I won't force you into something you don't want to do. At least let me walk you home tonight."
She turned her head away. "I don't need your protection."
"Not offering it. You're my friend. My only friend, besides Naruto. I just want to spend a few more minutes with you. After all, I can't enjoy your company on Friday nights anymore. Let me pay for this and-"
"I'll pay," she said. She stood up and went across the room to the cash register.
Sai watched Sakura as she conversed with the hostess. He saw the hostess's smile fade as Sakura's gestures became more animated and her words echoed from the walls.
He picked up her forgotten cherry. He held the candied fruit between his teeth and yanked off the stem. He chewed it slowly, savoring its unique texture and flavor as he watched Sakura, taking in her every motion.
A drop of the red juice dribbled from the corner of his mouth onto his chin. With a napkin, he wiped it clean.
When Sakura's father opened the door, he was surprised to see that she was not alone. He grinned and called his wife over to greet the young man who had walked her home.
She peeked around the door frame at the darkened living room. "It's Friday night. What happened to your 'fun and frivolity' thing?"
Her mother stared at Sai with wide eyes. "You said you were going out, dear, so we didn't bother." Her mother smiled. "Who's your friend?"
Sakura clicked her tongue. "It's just Sai, Mom." She sighed. "Okay, okay, I'll do the introduction thing. Sai, this is my Mom and Dad. Mom, Dad, this is Sai." She turned to Sai. "I'm here. You can go now."
Sakura's father reached out and grabbed Sai's arm. "He's just gotten here. Come on in, son. Sit down. Make yourself at home."
"Dad!"
Sakura's mother grabbed Sai's other arm. "You're tall. Do you like to do puzzles?"
Sai smiled broadly. "I love puzzles. But Sakura's right. I really shouldn't impose."
Sakura's father reached over and snapped on the living room light. "Nonsense, son. We love having people over. And this won't take all night. It's only 500 pieces."
"He's not staying, Dad. He was just walking me home and-"
"Oh, let him stay," said Sakura's mother. "Be nice for once. And help me set up the card table."
"And I'll get the drinks," said Sakura's father. "Oh, can you give me a hand, Sai? The arthritis in my hands is acting up."
Sakura took the card table from her mother and began to unfold the legs. "What about the pills I gave you?"
Sakura's father grabbed Sai's wrist and pulled him towards the kitchen. "I keep forgetting to take them. We'll only be a minute."
In the kitchen, Sakura's father began pulling glasses from the cabinet. "So, Sai, what do you do for the village?"
"It's kind of hush-hush. I can't really talk about it"
Her father smiled. "That sounds a lot more exciting than my job. Worst thing that can happen to you there is a paper cut. Do you two plan on going out next Friday?"
"I would love to, but I don't think Sakura does. She thinks that I want to be 'just friends' with her."
Her father started opening cans of soda. "Yeah, she kind of thinks that you're, uh..."
"Gay? Yeah, I sort of told her a white lie when I first met her. She kept going on and on about that Uchiha guy, and I didn't want to interfere and, uh..." He scratched the back of his neck. "Anyway, now that I actually do want to interfere..."
Her father twisted the ice trays to force out the last of the cubes. "You're stuck. Need a hand with getting unstuck?"
Sai's gaze faltered. "You're already doing too much for me. I shouldn't-"
Sakura's mother slipped in through the kitchen door. She gave Sai a warm smile. "So, are you taking her out next week?"
Sai started to answer but Sakura's father cut him off. "It's complicated. I'll explain later. And don't worry, Sai. I'm sure we can convince her to give you another shot next Friday."
He bowed his head. "Thank you very much."
Sakura thrust her head into the kitchen. "Why the hell does it take three people to get four drinks? Come on. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish."
When she retreated, her father leaned toward Sai. "You sure about this? She's a quite a handful."
Sai picked up the tray with the drinks. "Yes. I'm sure. Out of everyone in this village, she's the one I need. No one else will do."
