Don't Help Me When I Help You


Marceline had just left her house after begrudgingly leaving a voice message for Bubblegum, even though she felt like she shouldn't have to give her girlfriend tabs on where she was going. However, considering the vampire had spent the entire day away from her partner to blow off some steam it felt like the right thing to do. And possibly to spite Bonnie as well, as if to show that even though they're fighting she still knows how to practice common decency.

"Why do I even care so much…" she spoke to herself.

The Vampire Queen hated getting so emotional. She spent most of her life maintaining a facade of aloofness and apathy. It was only in the past decade she began to drop the act due to the influence of her close friends. She thought her new sense of empathy would strengthen her relationship with the Princess. She would come to find out that it did anything but.

Marceline saw the Tree Fort on the horizon and ceased all thought of her relationship. She looked forward to being able to ignore this stuff for a moment and hang with her good friends. She decided to try and scare Finn and Jake as her introduction, for old times sake.

There was no sign of Jake in the house, Guess he must be sleeping, she thought to herself. Finn was sitting on the couch polishing a sword never before seen by Marceline, but that didn't matter to her at the moment. She was thankful he hadn't taken notice yet and turned invisible in preparation for her scare, slowly creeping behind the human. She latched onto the boy and hissed, contorting her face into a horrifying mess.

Much to her own surprise, Finn popped like a balloon. She was left with a dumbfounded and slightly horrified look. "I- I- Wai- Wha-?!" before she could process what had just happened Finn came up behind her and spooked her with a "BOO!"

"AHH!" she shouted quickly turning to Finn and floating away.

"Gotcha" He said with a playful smile and giggle.

Marceline tried put on an annoyed face but failed miserably as a smile forced itself on her and she began to laugh.

"That was good, how'd you pull it off?" She floated back down his eye level.

"Just a bit of magic I learned from Huntress." he said dusting his hands off in an act of pride.

"Uhuh, well try and pull something like that again and you're gonna wish you had let me scare you." she followed up with a punch to the shoulder but recoiled in surprise when her fist met solid muscle. "Dang dude! When did you start pumping iron?" she grabbed his arm and squeezed his bicep.

"Dunno to be honest, happened when I was training with the humans. Guess three years of non-stop training and knockin bad guy domes does that to you." Finn flexed his arm, showing off his muscles with hubris.

"Wait, three years? What happened during to the fourth?" Marceline inquired.

"What do you mean? We've been back for a good year and then some." He gave her a puzzled look.

A wave of stress came over Marceline. "No way, I thought you guys only came back a few months ago!" she felt like a terrible friend for missing out on their return.

Finn could see her mood deteriorate. "Dude don't even worry about it, you got a lot on plate these days. What's Bubblegum got you doin anyway?" Finn saw this as an opportunity to segue towards the issue of Bubblegum.

For Marceline it only felt like an inescapable problem. "Can we not talk about her, like, at all. Please." Marceline hopped over and hovered above the couch, lying on her back with a look of melancholy.

"Well, when you put it like that" he pulled out a chair and sat on it backwards, facing Marceline. "There's no way I can't ask what's up."

She furrowed her brow and sighed in exhaustion. "Dude, now's not the time okay?" She asked herself why she even came in the first place, right, his girl problems. "Oh yeah, you were talkin about Huntress earlier. How's that ship sailin?"

Finn grimaced. "Err, it's...goin...we had a date yesterday, kind of. How about you and PB? Go on any fun dates lately?" he quickly tried to change the subject back.

"We would if we had the time. Not like I can imagine them ending well, though. Hey why don't you tell me about your date, you guys do any adventuring?" she turned the conversation back.

"We suuuure did. We'll probably go adventuring again on our next date. Then the next date. Then the next date. Then she'll mix it up with, wait for it, combat training!" That last bit was emphasized with fake enthusiasm. "So like, Bubblegum. What's she up to?" Finn was beginning to become annoyed at continued deflection and constant talk of his girlfriend.

Marceline was feeling exactly the same. She sat up and planted herself on the couch, her body now facing away from Finn with her arms crossed. "Doesn't matter, don't care. And how about your girl, what's she up to? Huh?" The irritation in her voice was clear.

Finn hung back from his chair and raised an eyebrow as if to say 'What's your problem?' "Will you not get so snappy with me dude?"

"I dunno dude, will you quit bugging me about Bonnie?!" now Marceline was raising her voice.

"I could say the same to you! Huntress is a bit of a sore spot for me right now!" He started to yell as well.

"Oh, but it's okay to bug me about my girlfriend HUH?!" It turned into a shouting match between the two.

Meanwhile Jake was lying in bed upstairs wide awake, a worried look splayed on his face as the muffled yelling continued in the other room. "I don't think it's goin well…" He rolled onto his side, all he could do was hope they would settle it eventually.

"You don't gotta keep giving me attitude! Will you just quit acting like this?!" Finn clenched his fists in frustration.

There were those same words Bubblegum had gave her, coming out of the mouth of her best friend. " ARGH! No, you know what Finn, I'm done! I'm tired of trying to help you! I'm tired of caring about people and then just getting stepped on! I. AM. TIRED. Okay?!" Despite her best attempts at hiding her tears some still seeped through, but she never lost her look of anger.

"And you think-" Finn interrupted himself and paused to think about what she had just said. His face of rage was replaced with one of worry. "Wait. Help? What do you mean? You came here to help me? With what?"

"Jake! He asked me to try and sort your stupid girl problems. That obviously ain't happening, so I'm ditching this joint." Marceline began to make her retreat before being stopped by Finn.

"Marcy wait! I'm sorry. Like, seriously sorry." The irony of the situation would've made him laugh had he not felt so much guilt.

She stopped mid flight before speaking, "Yeah right, you're just saying that cause I'm leaving." She had performed this song and dance with Princess Bubblegum all to often. However, despite her opposition, she stayed in place.

"No, I mean it." Finn sat on the couch and hung his head in shame. "I'll be honest with you, Simon wanted me to talk to you about PB."

It was then that she noticed the two coffee cups sitting on the table from earlier. "You're not lying are you." She floated back to the couch.

"Glob I'm so dumb. I don't think I could screw this up any worse if I tried. I just- Marcy I'm such a bad friend, I can't believe this is the first time we've hung out in four years and this is how I treat you. I'm better than this..." he held his head in his hands. Finn would've continued his verbal self flagellation had she let him.

"Finn, chill. I'm in the same boat as you, it's not like I acted any better…" this was nice change of pace from how her fighting with Bonnie usually went. Sorry's meant nothing to Marceline anymore after hearing them so much, they never resulted in change. But hearing Finn be honest and reprimand himself told her that his remorse was genuine. Though, seeing him beat himself up so hard wasn't much fun for her. "Why'd you have to go and apologize like that, I had like at least 5 hours of rage built up and now it's all gone, jerk" she teased with elbow to his side.

Finn giggled at her ribbing. "But Marcy I...nah, you're right. Enough apologizing. Thank you, for staying, that really means a lot to me." He expressed his gratitude with a hug.

Marceline was surprised at the sudden display of physical affection but quickly returned the gesture. "I should thank you too, for trying to make things right and apologizing." This was nice, fighting and making up, the real kind of making up. Where both sides were right and wrong to some degree, yet they both admitted their mistakes. Choosing to tend to each others wounds as opposed to inflicting more.

This is something she wanted for a long time and although she didn't know it, Finn desired it as well. She held the hug for quite some time before becoming embarrassed at how much she was enjoying this moment and caught herself blushing. She pulled away and coughed, "Anyway. Let's forget about our girlfriends and chill, yeah?"

Finn contemplated the idea of dropping this whole mess and having fun instead, but that didn't jive with his new principles. "I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, I'm not gonna bug you to talk about PB but I know you wouldn't listen to Jake unless you really cared. I don't mind telling you about my junk so much anymore. Besides, I owe you after all that."

Marceline was stunned, is this the same Finn?, she thought to herself. Passing the chance to have fun so that they could sit down and take the time to talk about their problems? It was the last thing she thought she'd be doing with him. Funnily enough, this would be the second time it's happened. "You don't-...Only if you're comfortable. I'm not gonna put that pressure on you." The Vampire tried to show the same kind of care and compassion.

"Don't worry about it. Now where to start?" Finn reclined with his hands behind his head and sighed. "It was fun at first, slayin monsters and adventurin. She would show up whenever she felt like it and the more we hung out the more she stayed by my side when I was with the other humans. I thought we were growing closer and maybe in some way we were, but not the way I wanted. Didn't figure that out till it was too late though…" the stress was palpable in those last words.

"What do you mean?" The vampire crossed one leg over the other, allowing herself to get comfortable.

"Well, if you asked me when I was seventeen if I thought dating someone who wanted to do nothing but fight and explore was awesome I'd say heck yeah. But I'm not seventeen anymore and what I want is more than that. Sure, I still love slayin monster booty and dungeon crawling, but when it comes to romance it can't be just that y'know?"

"I feel ya, doin the same thing over and over with nothing to mix it up can drive you crazy." She nodded her head in agreement to signal that she was paying attention.

"But it's more than that. It's almost like she doesn't wanna get all touchy feely with our emotions. When we kiss it just feels like our lips are meeting, nothing more."

"So there's no intimacy between you two?"

"Exactly! The one time I felt like we were beginning to feel something more was when I asked if we could sleep together. It was real embarrassing but when she said yes I couldn't have been any happier! I tried pushing my luck and I held on to her as we were falling asleep and it was so nice, nothing felt better...then next thing you know I'm holding on to a log! I was freaking out and then the log turned into Huntress and I asked her what the heck was that all about. Apparently when she says she sleeps like a log she meant it literally. So I couldn't even have that!"

"Yikes, that really does sound rough buddy. Can you really not ask her to, I dunno, try and show more emotion? Actually nevermind, I just realized how stupid that sounds."

"Funny that you mention that because I did ask her if we could try things like watching movies, going out for a nice dinner, or even just sitting down and talking about stuff. Everything we tried failed, that's just not what she's about. I don't plan the dates anymore, she does. I'll try and talk to her about how something needs to change but she will not listen. It's not like we fight either, she just...walks away...and it sucks major butt."

Marceline hadn't thought about that before, the idea of no conflict whatsoever as opposed to constant fighting. It was sad in its own way. It didn't make her appreciate the incessant bickering with Bubblegum, but it was unique perspective she never considered before.

"I don't wanna assume anything but, does she even like you? It kinda sounds like neither of you are having a good time."

"When were out adventuring she's having a blast. She smiles. She laughs. Heck, I still catch myself having a good time every now and then. Not enough to make it worth it though…"

"Worth what?"

"The pain. The stress. The effort. But I can't just walk away. She's not the one complaining, I am! So is there something wrong with me? Is there something I'm not getting?! What do I have to change?!" his voice was beginning to strain.

"Finn...You ever try and make something work, but you just can't. You tell yourself, I know there's something here! I've felt it before! I want to feel it again!, and so you hold on to that feeling. You try, and you try, and you try even though nothing seems to be working. All because of some feeling you can't bring yourself to let go of? We don't think about what it costs us to try so we keep at it. Every attempt chips away at us, our motivation, our emotions, our sanity. How many times do we have to try until it costs so much that giving up becomes the right option?" Marceline adopted a somber tone. Her own words applied to her just as much as Finn.

"But...but...the only way to-"

"Fail is to give up. I know. It's not that simple dude. Sometimes phrases like that are made just to get people to do things, without ever thinking about what's best for the other person…"

It was silent. He didn't know how to follow that up, mostly because he knew she was right.

"I love Bonnie, or maybe I love what we could be. I love when we're happy, but we haven't been happy in a long time. Everytime we fight I remind myself of the good times so I can calm down, but it doesn't work like it used to." This time Marceline would let herself cry openly.

Finn wanted to stop her from speaking, but he knew that she wouldn't be talking if she didn't want to.

"I get it, she's busy with her responsibilities. She's gotta deal with the Human kingdom and Lolly Land. I know I'm not as important as her kingdom but I just wanted to believe that-"

"Lemme stop you right there. You do deserve that kind of attention. You don't just walk into a relationship thinking you can toss your partner to the side when they need you. So what if Bubblegum has a lot of responsibilities, you're one of them too and you should be at the top of her list!"

"Finn you don't get it, it's not like she can just ignore all of the candy people."

"No offense Marcy, but I think you don't get it and neither does PB. You don't go taking on more than you can handle, if your plate is full then put down the extra cupcake because it ain't gonna fit on that plate! She shoulda taken a step back to look at what she was dealing with, but no, she wanted to have it all and now you're suffering for it. Why is that okay?" Finn stepped up to bat for his friend, he couldn't stand to see her like this.

Marceline laughed as she wiped away her tears, somewhere in his speech her mood seemed to brighten. "This is weird I dunno how to feel about this."

"About what?" He became confused at the change in emotion.

"You making sense. I wanna argue but I can't. I feel like everything you're saying is right. When'd you start talking like that? Where's the real Finn?"

"Oh, I guess I learned it from my mom. Back in the Human Kingdom you had a lot people who had trouble adjusting, it led to a lot of arguing. Instead of just threatening them with some kind of punishment she sorta, like, sat them down and talked with them. She was calm, she made sure she knew what the dealio was before makin any judgements. Mom always tried to make sure each side knew what was goin on. She couldn't make everyone happy, but she made sure they were satisfied."

He puffed up his chest and crossed his arms. "Oh! And I'm glad you think I'm right, because I think I'm right too! And I really think you need to sort this biz with the Princess. Simon's worried about you and I am too. I know you'll probably hate hearing this but, maybe a break up is needed?" He put his hand on her shoulder.

She was quiet as she tried to formulate a response. "Lemme ask you something. You know it ain't working with Huntress. You also probably know that there's nothing you can do to fix it. Would you break up with her if I asked you to? I don't like seeing you upset either, y'know?"

Finn bit his lip. She was right, but even still he didn't wanna call things off with his girlfriend yet.

After enough silence Marceline spoke up. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Look, I'm glad you care, and hey, if it means anything you really did cheer me up. But I don't think I can split with her just yet."

Why am I so weak, he thought to himself. Not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense. He loved to love and he was afraid that if he broke up with Huntress he'd never feel that again. He didn't want to end up in a rut like he did after his break up with Flame Princess. He also knew that staying together wasn't doing him any favors, he might even be worse off. Regardless, he was afraid and couldn't bring himself to move forward.

"Hey Finn, let's just leave this for another time yeah? Let's go cause some trouble, for old times sake." Her offer didn't seem so bad this time.

"Yeah, okay. Let's do it!" He accepted, having felt like everything that could be said was said. With that, they dashed out the Tree Fort in much higher spirits.