AN: Ugh. The end makes me feel dirty. Anyways, PLEASE nag me about this story, it will make me work faster.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Give Me a Reason
Chapter 3 – Hallelujah
For the first time since arriving here, Zexion showed up at mass.
The 'church' area was small, but even Zexion had to admit that it was beautiful. Instead of the pews being the normal, bland polished wood, they were white and almost marble. There was one stained glass window (covered with plastic for suicide safety, of course) - an image of the Virgin Mary holding a cross in one hand and a dove in the other. The pulpit wasn't dramatically raised, like it was at the church in Zexion's neighborhood, making the priest seem more human and less stuck-up.
Most importantly, there was no Jenova standing next to Zexion constantly badgering him about his clothes, his hair, his posture, his mannerisms, his sexuality, his personality, and himself in general.
What surprised Zexion the most about this so-called 'church', however, was Marluxia sitting down in the front row.
He was sitting up straight and was dressed very well – a simple white button up shirt and jeans. His hair was even tamed and tied back.
Despite the fact that Zexion practically hated the overly flamboyant man, he found himself sitting next to him.
Thankfully, Marluxia said and did nothing to upset Zexion. Actually, he did not say nor do anything at all.
Then Mass started and Zexion was sucked in.
It was funny – he was brought up extremely catholic and was dragged to church everyday since he stopped being a fussy baby. Even before that, Jenova would sit him in front of the television, put on the religion channel, and leave him there with Riku and Sephiroth. Sephiroth would leave the room, telling them 'If mom asks, I went to the bathroom.' Then he and Riku would take turns napping. They were smart kids.
But their intelligence was not the point of Zexion's thoughts.
It was the fact that he may have been immersed in the Catholic religion all his life, but he knew surprisingly little about it. Whenever he went to Mass back home, he was too preoccupied with looking good in front of his mother to actually listen and understand what was going on.
The songs, when sung by the right person (and Marluxia had a beautiful voice) were amazing. Sure, the instrumentalist could use a little work, but they were still very pretty.
Then the priest started talking. His voice was rich and smooth, a wonderful contrast to the priests in Zexion's town. When they talked, they sounded like they were yelling at you, not telling you a story. But this priest really brought out that the Bible wasn't just a set of guidelines, it was also a story.
When it came for him to give the homily, the priest told a story so familiar to Zexion, it practically sent shivers down his spine.
He told the story of his alcoholic father and abusive mother. When his father left the family, the abuse started. However, he was the only one of his siblings to suffer this abuse. Because of this, he felt weird, different. Like there was something wrong with him, something that couldn't be fixed. The abuse and pain came to a point where he felt like he didn't want to live anymore.
Zexion didn't realize he was crying until Marluxia put his arm around him and pulled him into a half-hug. The contact was weird, but not unwanted. In fact, Zexion found himself moving closer to the man and even missing the contact when they had to break apart so they could stand up to sing.
Zexion showed up at Mass today, Vexen noted, That is a step in the right direction.
Vexen, being Zexion's psychiatrist, obviously knew of his extremely religious and abusive mother. He also knew about what happened to him at confession once when he was six.
However, Zexion hadn't told him that. The boy's brother, Riku, had. Riku had also told him some other interesting things that not even Zexion knew. For example, after Zexion's suicide, Riku and some of their non-immediate family had tried to convince Jenova to go to therapy for her religious obsession. However, she didn't. That caused Riku and most of their non-immediate family to cut all ties with her.
Vexen wasn't about to tell Zexion this, however. If he did tell him, the emo would no doubt think his family was falling apart and then blame himself. That would cause him the progress Vexen made with him to halt and even move backwards. That would be bad.
Then he saw Marluxia. Or, rather, he saw Marluxia holding Zexion against him.
Maybe, the doctor noted, Just maybe, moving backward might be a good thing. After all, it will get him away from Marluxia.
And Vexen walked away, not realizing that the burning sensation in his throat was actually jealousy.
Marluxia always made a mental note about how broken Zexion looked, whether he realized it or not. However, he didn't know whether he was actually broken, or if he just seemed that way to fit the 'emo kid' stereotype. Then said emo showed up at Mass for the first time. His behavior there proved that he was not only broken, but that he was also weak.
He was crying like some freaking sissy because of the always overly cheesy (especially today) sermon.
But you're holding him.
And he was one of those freaking pity criers - the kind of person who shakes and sobs and draws attention to themselves when they cry! God, some people have no decency!
That doesn't change the fact that you're holding him right now.
Indeed, Marluxia was holding him and he was very aware of it. He was also aware of Zexion leaning into his half-embrace. However, he was going to ignore not only the Voice's snarky comments, but the comfortable feeling of someone being held against him.
You like it.
God, Zexion was such a pussy.
You're the one comforting him with a hug and enjoying that hug.
It's not my fault! Marluxia protested to the voice, He's the one who overreacted to the sermon, which, might I add, was nothing special!
Maybe he's not overreacting.
He's crying. Hell, the kid's sobbing.
Did you even hear what the preacher said? He told a story about being abused. Maybe it applies to Zexion. Maybe he was abused, too.
Marluxia was shocked to the point where his eyes actually opened. He had never thought about what had caused him to try and kill himself and now he knew.
Just looking at the boy, Marluxia could tell that the Voice was right. He knew the real reason Zexion wanted to die.
Zexion was still shaken up by the sermon, but he must have been more freaked out than he thought because soon, he found that he was lost. Yes, he was lost in an asylum with paths on the floor.
He sighed and took in his surroundings. The wing looked perfectly normal, except for the fact that no one was in it. There were no nurses doing their rounds, no doctors making visits, not even any patients going anywhere. Someone was always wandering around. However, this hallway was completely empty.
But he wasn't alone, as he soon found out.
From behind one of the doors, loud moans and groans kept sounding out.
Curious as to what was happening, Zexion made his way to the source of the noise and peeked in the window of the door. He really wished that he didn't, though.
Inside the room, Xaldin was on top of Xigbar – one of the nurses. To add to the mental scarring, they actually were having sex and Luxord was sitting right next to them, jacking off to the sight.
Zexion backed away very quickly, resisting the urge to vomit. His back hit the wall as someone chuckled. Whirling his head around, he saw Marluxia walking down the hallway in all his fabulousness and confidence.
Zexion quickly drew in a sharp breath, taking in the elder man's appearance. With just the unbuttoning of part of his shirt and the letting down of wild hair, he had transformed from an innocent Catholic, to an incredibly sexy sinner with hungry eyes boring directly into Zexion's.
"Are you okay?" Marluxia asked Zexion, his smirk betraying the seemingly innocent question, "You look like you've seen something rather…disturbing." The pinkette's eyes glanced at the door Zexion had just bolted away from.
Of course, he thought, This is the hallway. He would obviously find something 'disturbing' going on.
You want to add to that something 'disturbing', don't you?
Marluxia always wanted to add to that 'something disturbing'.
His smirk widened when he looked into Zexion's fear-filled eyes. He could have the emo right now, any way he wanted, and the boy wouldn't be able to fight back since he was smaller than Marluxia, and obviously weaker, too. Plus, he was gorgeous.
What about Vexen?
He can wait, Marluxia inwardly replied to the Voice, I have something else right now.
And then Marluxia moved in for the kill.
Marluxia just kissed Zexion. Gorgeous, sexy psychopathic Marluxia just kissed Zexion.
Images of a time he didn't want to remember flashed through Zexion's head and he momentarily freaked out, but he eventually calmed down. Then he realized that this was his first time being kissed, and Marluxia was invading his personal space. Of course, there was also the fact that Marluxia was a man. Zexion may be homosexual, but he certainly wasn't used to making out with random men all the time.
But, then again, I felt so good. Marluxia lips were soft against his and the older man's light touches were ending feelings throughout Zexion's body that he had never felt before.
So he gave in and kissed back.
Without the kiss being broken, Marluxia hoisted the emo into the air. Not knowing what to do, the teen wrapped his legs around Marluxia's waist. In order to support the boy's weight, the pinkette found himself cupping Zexion's ass. This brought a gasp from Zexion and Marluxia took that opportunity to plunge his tongue into Zexion's mouth. With a slight squeak, Zexion pulled away.
Marluxia glared at him.
"I'm not going to stop," he said as they entered an empty room, "Whether you want me to or not."
"I know," Zexion replied, realizing what he got himself into, "I know."
"I wouldn't go that way if I were you," Naminé, another doctor at the asylum, warned Vexen, "The hallway is busy."
"Xigbar?" Vexen sighed.
"No," she replied, "Well, he's probably there, too, but Marluxia was getting quite close to one of the suicide patients."
Vexen didn't show any emotion, but he could swear his heart was physically breaking.
"Okay," he said, hoping his voice wasn't cracking, "Thank you for the warning."
However, he paid no heed to the warning, and continued the same way he was going.
