I parked by the mailbox and got out my car. I was expecting this to be a quick visit.
"Alright. I'm just gonna ask if she's okay and leave. Nothing more, nothing less."
At least I thought.
As I was about to knock on the door, Kagome bolted out, nearly crashing into me.
"I-Inuyasha!" She shouted. "What are you doing here?"
"Just wanted to..." I paused. When she looked up at me, I noticed a scratch on her cheek that wasn't there this morning.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the mark.
"N-nothing. I knocked down the curtain rod while I was cleaning and it hit me."
"Why is your hair all messed up? and why do you seem so frazzled? Kagome I can't help you if you lie to me!"
"I don't need any more help! J-just go away!" She shoved me and ran off.
Kagome got on the first bus that showed up and I walked towards my car. I picked up speed as I heard someone coming down the steps inside.
A muscular man with dark hair and brown eyes came out the door. He was a pretty big guy, close to Sesshomaru's height.
"Kagome? Kagome!" He shouted, as he looked around frantically. "I hate when she just runs off."
Was that...her father? After a minute of watching him, I was convinced. He looked like a military man for sure.
The moment our eyes met, I slowly drove off.
I started to follow that bus Kagome was on. I'll admit at this point I was acting a bit stalkerish.
She got off by Oni park. I parked my car by Wacdnald's and ran through the park looking for her.
I found her by the historical Tree of Ages. She was sitting at the base crying hysterically.
"Kagome?"
She looked up at me and gave me an ice cold glare.
"What's the matter?"
"I don't wanna talk about this. Not with anybody."
"I'm so confused. You asked me for help but now you don't want help. What do you want?"
"To be alone, like I have been. All you've done is made it clear that you don't like me. And it makes me sick. You're not the only person that suffered loss. And it isn't my fault. Do you see how close you are to your mom? Imagine losing her. That's the pain I have to deal with every single day. And not just her, my little brother. My ONLY brother. And my grandpa. He was the kindest old man that ever lived."
"Kagome I didn't—"
"Didn't what? You think I asked to be forced into Kikyo's footsteps? People think I'm trying to copy her because of my hair, or because I tried out for archery club. I'm not Kikyo! I'm Kagome!"
She's right. But for some reason I can't separate the two because she reminds me so much of her.
That's why I can't let her suffer and it is so damn important that I protect her.
If only I can get over this anger toward her...
I took her back to my car and drove her to her friend's house, then went to my therapy session.
"Miroku always told me I should let go of Kikyo because she let go of me."
"What did he mean by that?"
"He says when people pass on to the next life, their spirit must let go of all earthly attachments so they can rest in peace."
"That's right."
"But why did she let me go so easily? A-and why can't I let go of her?"
"Inuyasha. Would you want Kikyo to cling to this earth as a helpless ghost longing to touch you again? How much despair would that place upon your soul? Would that lessen your grief? I'm certain she let go for your sake. Not because she wanted to end things with you."
"I know but...I miss her so much. Things were just beginning for us. We were going to have a future together."
"You can still have your future. Don't live your life at a standstill. That is not what Kikyo's wish was."
"How do you know?"
"Have you ever heard the story of LuLu the wanderer?"
"No."
"LuLu was a young girl, about Kikyo's age when she died. She was madly in love with a young boy named Zed. He was the sun, the moon and stars in her eyes. When she saw him, she saw perfection. The day he asked her to be his girlfriend, she was the happiest girl on the face of the earth. She skipped home gleefully, ignoring all the traffic signs. That same day was her last when a bus struck her, killing her on impact."
"That's awful."
"The worst part is, LuLu was so grief stricken that she couldn't move on to the next life. She would float around through the evening breeze, stalking Zed every moment. Six months had gone by and he began dating another girl. LuLu was livid. She would do mischievous and harmful things to hurt the girl, and every girl after her, until no woman wanted to date Zed because they believed he was cursed."
"So what became of them in the end?"
"They say LuLu still wanders the earth because she can no longer move onto the next life, even though Zed did."
Ms. Kawasaki's story made me feel worse. Not about Kikyo, but about myself.
Miroku always tells me how self centered I am. My selfishness has caused me a lot of problems. With my mother, with Kikyo, with him, and now with Kagome.
I stopped by Miroku's house after my session and we drank some sake with his grandfather. After the old lush passed out on the kitchen floor, we brought him to his bedroom and sat in the basement playing video games.
I remember every vivid moment from this day. The weird smell of syrup in his basement, his phone vibrating non stop on the couch as I kicked his ass in Madden.
"Why don't you just tell Kagome how you really feel?"
"What for?"
"Well if you open up to her, perhaps she will open up to you. You made a point about how important it is that you protect her. Set your pride aside for once."
I considered it. I almost did it the next day at school. Kagome came to school out of uniform and accepted a disciplinary strike, rather than telling Kaede what was going on.
"That was stupid." I told her at lunch.
"What are you talking about?" There she goes with that damn attitude again. Annoying little...
I took a deep breath and reminded myself why I had come up to her in the first place.
"Let's go to the auditorium. I want to talk to you."
"Inuyasha I don't wanna talk about—"
"I know. I'm not gonna make you talk about anything. But I have some things I wanna get off my chest. Please?"
She reluctantly got up and came with me to the auditorium. She kept giving me wary looks like I was setting her up for a prank. I guess she has her reasons for being paranoid.
We sat in the back and watched the school band practice for a few moments while I mustered up the strength to talk to her.
"Listen, Kagome. I don't hate you. I don't even think I dislike you." Wait that's wrong. "On second thought, I do dislike you. You have a nasty attitude and you're annoying. But that—"
"Really? You brought me here to insult me?! What about how obnoxious and callous you are?! I can't stand you!"
"Ugh! Forget it. You're nothing like her. Not even remotely!"
She stormed out of the auditorium. I did it again. I blew it and pushed her away even more. Kikyo used to tell me my tongue was sharper than a katana. Damn was she right. What do I do now?
A month later...
Kagome was in school every day. And for the 24 schooldays of that month, she walked past me like I was invisible. She came to the after-school tutoring sessions with headphones on so I couldn't talk to her. I really screwed up. I don't think I can repair this one.
Then I remembered, when Kikyo was angry with me, I would write her notes. This was how we started passing each other notes to begin with. She was incredibly stubborn and when she decided to give me the silent treatment, she would not say a single word, but she always wrote back.
I slid Kagome a note, hoping she would reply. "I'm sorry." Was all I said.
"K." was all she wrote.
What do I do now? Maybe I should tell her what's on my mind in a note. I'm better at writing my feelings than saying them out loud anyway.
"I wanted you to know that I really don't hate you. The reason I get so angry is because you look so much like Kikyo, but you aren't her. I don't have a second chance to be with her or save her from the man that murdered her. I can't get over her death."
She read the note, and then took out her headphones. "Could you at least try to be nicer to me? If you really understand I'm not Kikyo, can you stop treating me like I stole her looks?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll try my best."
I really did get a second chance to protect another girl from another monster.
Kagome and I spent the weekend texting a lot. By a lot, I mean we probably sent a thousand texts from Friday night to Sunday morning. We were talking about nonsense; favorite color, food, things our brothers did that annoyed us when we were younger. We were getting to know each other and catching up on all that time we lost arguing. Not only was it fun, it was wonderful getting to know her.
And you know what? Before I went to bed Saturday night, or should I say early Sunday morning, I felt like I had known Kagome forever.
But Sunday afternoon, she stopped replying to me. I called twice and her phone went to voicemail. Call me paranoid but that seemed odd to me. I grabbed my car keys. It was time for another visit to her house.
I didn't want her father to see me again after the last time I was here. He might think I was a crazy stalker. So I noticed pink curtains at a second floor window and assumed it was Kagome's room. It was. I hopped on the window sill and peeked in.
When I noticed she was there in only a towel, I froze. When she noticed me, she screamed and I almost fell off.
She swung the windows open and grabbed me by my collar.
"What the heck are you doing here?" She questioned through her teeth. "You psycho!"
"Excuse me! I was worried about you because you stopped texting me back."
"Get out! If my dad sees you in here he'll kill you!"
"Alright, alright!"
I slipped back out the window and got in my car. I let out a relieved sigh and rested my head on the wheel. "She was just...taking a shower. I really am crazy."
"Inuyasha!" I looked up and saw Kagome in a white sweat suit, her hair still wet.
She opened the passenger door and sat in my car. "Glad I caught you."
"What's up?"
"Thank you. For worrying." She said with a smile.
I felt my heart skip a beat. "S-sure. Do you need a ride somewhere?"
"No. I can't go anywhere today. I'm um... grounded."
"Why?"
"Disobeying house rules. My dad is really strict."
"I can imagine. He's a soldier."
She kept looking back at the house worriedly. She really did not want him to see her with me.
"Hurry back inside. Text me, okay?"
"I will. Thank you again."
She got out and ran back in the house like an olympic runner. I could smell fear in her scent. It wasn't fear of getting in trouble. Kagome was terrified. I could hear her heart beating rapidly and her hands shook a little while she was sitting in my car. I was starting to think maybe...her father was the one harming her. I just didn't have any proof. Besides, he's the only family she has. She will cover for him under any circumstances. I know it. This is gonna be difficult.
