Chapter 3- Sundown
Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding
Fall into your sunlight
The future's open wide beyond believing
To know why hope dies
Losing what was found, a world so hollow
Suspended in a compromise
The silence of this sound is soon to follow
Somehow sundown
Shattered- Trading Yesterday
--
I spend the short drive home entrapped in my thoughts. It's not easy moving from place to place and up until now it hasn't really bothered me too much. I've learned that if you keep your head down and your thoughts to yourself you are less likely to be noticed or remembered.
'But you were noticed today weren't you? You just had to open your big trap.'
Even though I know it is wrong, I can't help but feel a small sense of excitement that I may have made some new friends. It's been years since I have felt able to confide in anyone and the fact that I was able to do so in one day says quite a bit.
The yard looks empty and I glance at the front door, surprised to see the living room curtains closed. Either Charlie is really drunk or the sunlight is glaring off of the television. Grabbing my book bag out of the passenger seat, I lock my truck before sprinting up to the door and quickly closing and locking it behind me.
The house is silent.
'That's some bad news, there; some real bad news.'
The living room is empty and dark and the coffee table is surprisingly clean of bottles or garbage. It feels foreign to me and I wonder if I need to check outside to make sure that I entered the right house. Instead I make my way down the hallway and into my room, closing and locking my door behind me.
'It's so fucking quiet you could hear a pin drop.'
I throw my book bag onto my bed and look at the window watching the curtain flutter in the breeze. For a minute I don't understand why this seems odd to me and then I see the small pile of nails lying on the floor in front of it.
I want to fucking scream.
My room is suddenly filled with places that someone could hide and I am terrified of being inside it. I stay away from the bed and the closet and edge my back against the wall.
'Stay calm, take a deep breath. Think this out. Breathe."
I don't feel safe in this room, but then again at this point there is little to nowhere in this house that I will feel safe. It's him, I know it's him, and the terror that seizes me is so strong that I can feel the bile rising in my throat.
It's then that I hear the pounding.
There is nowhere for me to go, nowhere for me to hide and I curl up in the corner against the door and watch the curtain flap in the breeze. The pounding eventually stops and the light coming in through the window gets darker.
'It's getting late, you need to find cover.'
I force myself to rise from my bed and open the middle drawer of my dresser, pulling out the hammer I have hidden. I pick up the bent and curved nails and force them back into the woodwork, the pounding noise resonating through the room.
"Bella," Charlie slurs, "what are you doing in there?"
Once the window is secure I open the door and look out at the empty hallway. I can hear the television from the other room, Charlie is watching baseball. I make my way out of my room and down the hall, finding him in his lounger beer in hand.
"What were you doing in there?"
"I thought I saw a mouse," I lie "I think it went under my bed."
He grunts and rises making his way down the hall, grabbing a baseball bat from the closet on his way. I watch as he lifts up the comforter his eyes scanning the empty expanse beneath my bed.
"There is nothing under here, Bells."
"Maybe in the closet?" I question. He sighs but opens the door and flips on the light showing me the empty space. Shaking his head, he makes his way back down the hall and I close and lock the door behind him.
'At least you know that your room is safe.'
'For now.'
The buzz of the television from the other room is familiar and comforting and I find myself curling up in bed with my homework. It doesn't take me long to finish and I find myself staring at the walls, my imagination in overdrive.
'What if this was just a test-run to see if he could get in?'
I huddle with my pillow, my eyes on the closed window.
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,
Go to sleepy you little baby.
When you wake, you shall have cake,
And all the pretty little horses.
The rain had been falling for days and they had been stuck indoors. The roads of the small town they were currently living in were flooded and they were telling everyone to stay home. She was so scared of the thunder and the lightening, each flash lighting up the small space in her room.
"It's alright my dear," her mother told her as she held her in bed. "It's just a little rain." She had pulled out a book about princesses and fairytales and begged her mother to read it to her. "Not tonight, dearie, momma's tired."
Blacks and bays, dapples and greys,
Go to sleepy little baby,
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry
Go to sleepy little baby,
When you wake, you shall have,
All the pretty little horses.
They had been moving a lot. Her father would constantly ask her mother why they would need to move and she would look at him and scowl. He seemed to know better than to question her and just sighed and nodded his head. It wasn't hard to find work as a police officer and he knew it was better to go along with her than to fight her on it.
"Mommy," she cried as her belongings were placed in the back of the car. "I don't want to move again. I have friends here. People I care about."
"Family is all you should care about," her mother snapped, "I can feel him getting closer baby. We're moving for you, I need you to be safe."
"I don't want to be safe if it means I can never have friends," the girl cried.
"NEVER SAY THAT," her mother screamed. "Don't you dare say that!"
Way down yonder, down in the meadow,
There's a poor wee little lamby
The bees and the butterflies pickin' at its eyes,
The poor wee thing cried for her mammy.
Her day at school had been long and the bus ride even longer because of the rain. People in town were mean to her and they said things about her family, things that weren't true. The children all pointed and stared. They called her a freak.
She pushed open the living room door, the tears ready to fall from her eyelids. "Momma," she called. The house was unusually quiet and she made her way around calling out for her mother. It wasn't until she was on the second floor that she spotted the blood; drip, drip, dripping down the walls.
A scream bubbled in her throat as she pushed her parent's bedroom door open. Her mother lay on the bed in a puddle of blood. Running to her, she shook her mother trying to wake her up. As the tears fell down her face she looked at the steady lines of cuts on her mother's arms. It didn't take long for her to realize it was too late.
There was a single piece of paper on the bed next to her, the words smeared in blood;
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,
Go to sleepy little baby.
When you wake, you shall have cake,
And all the pretty little horses.
I woke to a loud crash, my cheeks damp with tears and my pillow soaked below me. I looked around the room, startled to find that nothing was out of place and then sat deadly still listening to see if I could hear the noise again. Another boom filled the sky and my window lit up alerting me to the fact that it was storming outside.
'You know what happens when it rains…'
I took a deep calming breath and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was only three in the morning and I had several hours before I was supposed to be at school. Reaching into the nightstand drawer I pulled out a small picture and flipped on my bedside lamp. The woman looking back at me was beautiful in so many ways and it made my heart ache.
'You'll never get to see her again.'
I traced the rounded face of my mother and let out a gentle sob. There were so many times I needed my mother, so many times I wished she were around. I was the only one who really knew what happened to her despite what the police thought.
There was no way she would have done that to herself.
'You weren't there, were you?'
I placed the picture back in my drawer and sighed at the sadness that overwhelmed me. Lying back against my pillow I watched the light from my lamp throw shadows across the room. Another loud boom shattered through the sky and I looked at my window watching it light up.
I didn't expect to see the figure standing just outside it.
A scream bubbled from my lips and I find myself ripping my bedroom door open, locking myself in the bathroom across the hall. I can hear the sound of Charlie on the stairs, his voice panicked as he runs down the hallway.
"BELLA?"
"Daddy," I yell from the bathroom, my sobs escaping through my lips, "someone was outside my window."
He lets out a string of curses and I hear him dressing up to go outdoors. I want to beg him to stay inside where it is safe, I want to beg him to lock himself in the bathroom with me but the words won't form on my lips. I can hear the front door open and then slam close.
All that is left is silence.
'It was him. It was him.'
I'm not sure how long he is outside for but he comes back in and calls out to me that it's safe. I open the door to the bathroom and look at him as he unloads his dripping wet clothing.
"There wasn't anyone out there, Bells."
'He doesn't believe you. No one will ever believe you."
"I saw him."
My father looks at me for a moment and I can see the questions in his eyes.
'I'm not crazy.'
"You believe me don't you daddy?"
He lets out a sigh and plops his rain boots off to the side to dry. "I didn't see any footprints, but with the way the rain was coming down they could have been washed out." He pauses for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. "Did you see his face, baby?"
I can feel the tears of frustration bubbling to the surface and I shake my head no. He sighs and nods his head, accepting what I have told him. Instead of going upstairs he sets himself in the living room, in his lounger, and flips on the television.
I curl up on the couch and watch the images flash across the screen. Charlie's presence seems to put me at ease and I feel myself relax into the cushion.
'He's getting braver.'
Instead of drifting back to sleep I take the time to study my father. His face is skinnier and there is a distinct amount of gray lining his mustache. There are bags under his eyes and a few bottles littering the floor around his lounger. He has had and long night and he had probably just gone to bed shortly before I woke him up.
I feel guilty.
'You should. You won't always be able to depend on Charlie you know?'
"I'm sorry I woke you up."
Instead of a response I hear the gentle buzz of his snore and hunker deeper into the cushions that surround me. I know that Charlie is here and while he can only do so much to protect me, it's more than I can do for myself.
My eyes droop and I watch the screen flicker until I can no longer keep them open.
-
I wake up to light streaming in through the living room curtains and curse as I see the time. I am going to be late for school; there is no question about it. The living room is surprisingly quiet and I notice the television is off and Charlie is not in his lounger.
I forgo the shower and grab a few items out of my dresser, my eyes scanning the room for damage from the previous night. My bed is messy, my nightstand drawer open, and my lamp is shattered on the floor.
'Something you can cut yourself on, lovely.'
I leave the mess to clean after school and hurry to change and grab my bag. Stuffing my homework inside of it I look at the clock and sigh, there is absolutely no way I will make it to first period and I am cutting it close on second period.
Throwing open the front door I rush to my truck, stopping when I see the white piece of paper sticking out from underneath my windshield wiper. The paper is sopping wet and the words are blurred so much that I can get little from it. There are two words that are very clear and stand out against the stark whiteness of the paper and I can almost make out what it says.
Bella I will come back.
A few quick notes:
The song used in the dream is 'All the Pretty Little Horses.' I used the classic lyrics that can be found on any lullaby or lyric site.
I'm looking for song/poem suggestions... if you have a favorite poem or song send it my way.... I may just use it! Thanks to jenn9394 for the opening lyric recommendation!
I'd like to thank all of you who have added this to your alerts, favorites, or written a review. This story is a bit different for me and I appreciate the support while trying something different! Everything is not as it seems, keep that in mind!
I would like to dedicate this to jenn9394 for the recommendation! Also to my beta Bri who has been sick.... Get better soon hon!
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