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Chapter Four
Alex woke up the next morning, realizing she hadn't called Jodie to say goodnight. She knew she was working her rounds at the hospital that day, so she decided to make her way up and talk to the girl – she wasn't going to tell her about Marissa's email, but she was definitely going to tell her that she needed some time to herself, time to get her shit together because she really did feel like she was falling apart.
"Do you think this is a good idea? Going to her place of work – all of our places of work – while she's on the clock? And basically breaking up with her? Are you serious, Alex?" Seth asked, after the blonde filled him in on her morning plans.
"Whatever, she'll be fine. They do it on 'Grey's Anatomy,' why can't I do it? I'm hotter than all the people combined on that show, so it's allowed." Alex said, grabbing her bag, getting ready to walk out the door.
"You're no McSteamy." Seth said, laughing at his reference.
"Yeah, Seth. That's why people think you're gay. Because you say shit like that." Alex winked as she closed the door behind her.
The subway ride to the hospital was treacherous. Normally on that ride, Alex always felt that it was going to slow – she was always scared about being late for her rounds in the morning. This time, however, it seemed as if the subway was speeding past every stop, trying to get Alex there as soon as possible.
She showed her ID at the front desk and walked towards the elevator, preparing herself for the wrath of her girlfriend.
"Alex? What are you doing here?" Alex heard a voice from behind her.
She turned around and saw Anna, holding two cups of coffee, "Taking your advice from last night." Alex said, giving Anna a half smile.
"Oh. Gotcha." Anna said, as they both stepped into the elevator. "Good luck." she said to Alex, smiling and getting off on her floor.
Anna got off a floor before Alex. As she rode the elevator up that one floor, alone, she thought about turning back and just acting like none of this was happening. She was fully ready to chicken out, but when the elevator doors opened, her girlfriend was literally on the other side.
"Babe? I thought you were off today, what are you doing here? And on the dermatology floor?" Jodie asked, with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice – probably for the lack of a 'goodnight' phone call the night before.
"Yeah, I'm off. I need to talk to you. That's why I'm here. I know you have your morning rounds and all, but do you have a minute? We can go into the on-call room downstairs, no one should be in there at this time anyway." Alex said, hoping the girl would come. She wanted to get this over with – she needed to get this over with.
"Yeah, sure. Let's go." Jodie said, getting into the elevator with the blonde.
The pair walked silently, with the exception of the occasional 'hello' from colleagues, to the on-call room. Once inside, Alex locked the door and took a seat on one of the cots they had for the doctors to rest on.
"So, what's this about? I don't have that much time. If I get a page, I'm going to have to go back upstairs, Alex." The brunette said, tapping her food on the linoleum floor.
"I need time, Jodie. I'm not a happy person… but I used to be one, and now I'm not. I need to be happy again before I can be happy in our relationship. It's not that I'm not happy with you, but just in general, I think I need to clear my mind of all the bullshit, and find what makes me happy – so I can be a better person and a better girlfriend." Alex said, realizing she sounded like a rambling fool.
"Right. Does this have anything to do with Marissa?" Jodie asked the girl, with a very stern look on her face.
"What? Why would it have anything to do with Marissa? This is about me, Jodie. I just told you that. No, it has nothing to do with Marissa and I don't know why you have to include her into every fight we get into." Alex replied, getting very frustrated.
"I had to ask. Seth updated his Facebook status about ten minutes ago saying 'Surprise visit from Marissa Cooper! It's going to be a great week after all!'" Jodie said, in a sarcastically enthused voice.
Alex's eyes bugged out a little, but just enough to make Jodie suspicious about her reaction.
"I had no idea, Jodie. But like I said, this isn't about her. It's about me. I just need time – I don't want to be that couple that takes a break and goes and has sex with other people. That's not what I'm aiming for here, I just need some time and space to myself. I spend so much time in this hospital, then after that comes you, then comes my friends, then comes me. I need to put myself first, that's all." Alex pleaded, hoping her girlfriend would understand.
"Okay then. Call me when you're ready to talk. I love you, blue-eyes. Don't forget that, okay? I have to go back, but just call me when you're ready. I'll be waiting for you." Jodie said, kissing the blonde on her forehead.
"I love you too, baby. I really do." Alex said, as the other girl smiled and exited the room.
Seconds after Jodie closed the door, Alex heard it opening back up. She looked up to see Anna walking in.
"So, what happened?" Anna asked, sitting next to Alex.
"Don't you have work to do? Were you just standing outside waiting for her to leave so you could come in here and be nosey?" Alex teased her friend.
"I couldn't help but see how my advice worked out for you!" Anna smiled, ready to hear how Jodie reacted.
"She was fine. She seemed totally okay with it, she told me she loved me and to call her when I was ready to talk about everything. She asked if it had anything to do with Marissa, though…" Alex said, wondering if Anna knew the girl was in town.
"Oh, about that… yeah I saw Seth's status this morning, then she had sent me a text message saying she drove in for the week – they gave her vacation time because apparently the hospital was over staffed for the week. I knew this before I saw you, but I didn't want to freak you out and frazzle you before you talked to Jodie, you know?" Anna stated, hoping Alex wouldn't be mad at her for withholding that information.
"No, I understand and appreciate it. Thanks for everything. I'm going to head to the apartment now – I didn't respond to her email yet, so this will be an interesting interaction." Alex sighed, dreading the next part of her day.
