"… My agent didn't tell me what this was for, but it looks promising." Penny finished, smiling at the three men sitting on front of her, "and now I'm here."

The blonde calmly waited as the two men whispered to each other while the serious looking one frowned down at a folder—probably admiring her head shots. She really didn't understand what this audition was for, but like she said, it seemed promising. Only great roles were held at fancy buildings like the one they were at.

Although, she found it odd how she was the only one in line for an audition. She had been to nearly a hundred auditions and yet this was the first one that had zero blonde, big boobed aspiring (wannabe) actresses pretending to read the script while waiting for their turn to be rejected. Come to think of it, she didn't get a script for this.

"So, uh…" she started, getting the whispering guys' attention, "did I get the role or what?"

"Role…?" The interviewer with the goofy haircut raised an eyebrow before the foreign looking one whispered something to him that made him realize something. "Oh! Yeah, yeah. Before we make a decision, could you tell us more about yourself?"

She blinked. "Huh? Then what was all those weird questions about romu—something about? Didn't you say that those were keys to get to know me better?"

If this was the 'tell us something about yourself' part, then what was—she checked her watch—the last hour of questions for? She barely knew what the heck a romulan was (it was a type of medicine… right?) struggled to remember details about Star Wars (her sister's boyfriend was a big fan and her sister made her watch with them) and barely understood what all of it was for.

When her agent told her that she got her a good gig, she envisioned that it would be something along the lines of sister of the main character or a friend of the main character who doesn't have any lines but has a bunch of screen time—not a thousands questions about things that she never really cared.

Maybe this was an audition for a science fiction show or something. It wouldn't be too surprising if it was, with all of the questions regarding Star Wars and Star Trek. She knew enough to know who Kirk and Spock and Darth Vader were. She would be okay with a sci fi show; the fans were really die hard ones and that could do wonders for her career.

Well… if she had a career—cause apparently, being a waitress was not a career.

The foreign man took something from a little medicine case in front of him, swallowed it then waited a few moments before grinning. "Those were just warm up questions. We really need to go through a lot to make sure that you're perfect for this. Are you still up for it?"

She shrugged. Why the hell not? She had nothing better to do. Her job at the Cheesecake Factory was about to end anyway with her not going to work for about three days now. Whether or not she'd get the role, her time at that place was up. She had been looking for a new job for a few days now and this was just to give her some extra cash.

Much to her surprise, she actually managed to save some money from all the tips she got. Avoiding parties and forgetting about her social life via focusing on work really helped her from her break up with (she cringed at the name) Kurt. Now she had enough to pay for two months worth of rent if she didn't spend on unnecessary things.

If she manages to snag this role, she'd be able to quit her job after the audition. She still had enough for a week or so of no tips while she went job hunting, and the cash she'll get for this would cover her traveling expenses and any other minor expenses that would fit her budget.

It was safe to say that she had grown much more wiser ever since she broke up with Kurt circa four months ago. She now knew how to save money and how to refrain from buying shoes; regardless of how much she loved the design or how nice it would look on her. Because really, looking back at her before, she was a bit of a hopeless wuss. Now she was smarter and one step closer to getting her first decent acting job! "Yeah, I am."

The two shared a pleased look while the other one was still glaring at her portfolio. A few minutes ago, it looked like he was admiring how great she looked in her head shots—who wouldn't? she looked fantastic in them!—but now he looked as if e was offended by it. She hoped that he wasn't the director or anything important, or else she was screwed.

"Then just tell a little something about yourself," the foreign one said, grinning as he glanced at something that was softly ticking on the table. "We just want to know a little more about your character."

Oh, well that was going to be easy. "Well, what else don't you know?" She thought to herself, tapping a finger on her chin. She told them about her being from Nebraska and how she was currently a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory and that she just got out of a relationship. "Oh, I'm a vegetarian—no, except for fish. And the occasional steak—I love steak."

The friendly foreign one nodded in agreement, "I can't resist steak, too! It's my favorite, actually." They shared a look of understanding before the one that was silent the whole time sent him a look that could have soured milk. "Uh, anyway, please continue."

"Uh, I'm also working on a screenplay about a girl from Nebraska who goes to California to be an actress but became a waitress instead," she rambled as she tried to think of something interesting to say. "Other than that, I got nothing… oh, and I'm a sagittarius," she proudly said, "which probably tells you way more than you know—"

The formerly silent man then decided to open his mouth, "(put Sheldons line from ep1) yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural that the sun… and that you're foolish enough to follow it, thinking that a false 'prediction' will actually occur during your day when it's actually an implementation of the Barnum Effect in which even the simplest, common—yet irrelevant—fact is not even understandable but is still considered as a prediction thus causing the idle minded to believe in the hokum commonly referred to as horoscope."

Penny slowly tried to process what the man just said before; gasping once she realized what he meant by his rant. "Are you saying that I'm stupid?"

His eyebrows furrowed as if he didn't just insult her through a rather long rant. "I didn't say that you were stupid." He looked so innocent that she might have believed him. Operative word; might. "I said that you were foolish."

"That's the same thing!" She hissed, more affronted than she's ever been in her twenty-three years of life. She didn't even get mad when that bitch from eleventh grade called her a slut, but something about the one of this… asshole's voice just made her blood boil.

"No, it's not," he calmly said, face still stoic and so, so, so punchable. "They are two entirely different words. Stupid is one who lacks intelligence while foolish—the word I used to describe you and majority of the population of this country—is one who lack good judgement aka, you. See? Two different definitions. Similar if used correctly, though."

Okay, that was it. She didn't need this job, and she definitely did not need crap from this asshole. Not even a million dollars and a top billing with Angelina Jolie would get her to endure this any longer. An hour long of shitty questions and three minutes of major asshole was not worth it.

"You know what?" She asked, standing as she put on the most murderous grin she could muster. She extended her right arm, directed it towards the asshole and gave him the finger. "Fuck you—"

Right as she was about to storm out, a loud, ringing alarm went off and the two less annoying men started jumping up and down while the asshole simply scowled.

And that was how she got her job as the great (asshole) Sheldon Cooper's underrated secretary—

"—Penny!"

Penny glanced over her shoulder and jumped at the sight of Sheldon standing right behind her; nearly falling over her chair.

"Crap! You seriously could have killed me, boss!" She snapped as she placed a hand over her racing heart. This was like a less scary horror movie with her being the brave yet unlucky main character (why did women always star in horror movies?) and him being the creepy bad guy who wants to kill her. "Couldn't you have at least announced your presence?"

Sheldon did his 'impatient with the world' sigh before stepping away from her. Why was he even standing so close to her?! He had stood so close to her that the fabric of his jacket was already touching the back of her chair. Invasion of personal space! "I'v called your name ten times now, and you were still lost in whatever was occupying your attention. I was about to wave my hand in front of your face but you snapped out of it."

Such an asshole. He was probably bubbling with amusement at the sight of her practically toppling off of her chair because he startled her. She had a feeling that he enjoyed her misery to a great extent. It was probably what made him get out of bed every morning. "Still! Stop startling me, will you?"

His face distorted into his hostile face—which meant that she was in for another lecture—but then shifted into the usual stoic face. Whoa, she was not wrong in thinking that her boss was nicer. He was even hesitating in being a douche, now! "Fine. Now, go home and pack your bags."

"I sense that that's not—what, what?"

"I said," he slowly stated with a roll of his blue eyes, barely hiding his annoyance. If he was mad, she was, too! "Go home and pack your bags. Now."

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit—she was getting fired! Oh shit! She was not ready for this! Okay, now she seriously regretted ever thinking badly about him. Her position as a secretary paid her really well and allowed her to have a weekly shopping spree; she had no intentions of becoming a waitress again!

"Oh my god, am I being fired? If it's because of what I said earlier, I'm sorry. You're the best boss in the world, please don't fire me!"

Her boss stared at her for a moment, then spoke again. "No, let me repeat myself once more; go home and pack your bags." She blinked, the realization dawning to her that she wasn't getting fired. "You're coming with me to San Diego for that new diseases and appropriate medicine conference."

Well fuck, she wasn't fired. Phew. "I thought that Bernadette was going with you?" She said once her pulse had went back to normal and she was able to relax. "Isn't she the expert on this matter?"

"Apparently, while her team was working on the cure for that deer virus, someone spilled a dozen vials and now they're all locked up in quarantine." Oh. That happens a lot in Bernadette's department. Kinda made her thankful to not have to deal with all the dirty work. "So, pack your bags. You're going to San Diego with me."

She took a moment to think about his offer (demand) and leaned back into her seat before staring up at the expectant expression on his face. "Alright. I'll go."


If someone ever told her that she'd be stuck with her boss in a room, she'd laugh and tell them that she won't mind since it happens all the time. He always dragged her along with him whenever he did rounds and she was required to follow him everywhere; at the most, she can go a full day without killing him.

However, if someone told her that she would have to share a room with her; she'd faint.

Well, to her boss' credit, his love for his personal space probably won't allow anyone to share a room with him—but you never know!

They were walking through the lobby when all of the possible clichés from fiction popped into her head. This always happened in movies and shows and she had a strong feeling that it would happen to her, as well. Because she was somewhat unlucky when it came to things like this.

She could already imagine it happening; her boss would go to the front desk to talk about the room, then the lady would tell him that they got his reservation wrong and they got him a room with one bed and they'd be forced to share the room then she would sleep on the floor—because there were no couches in fiction—and he'd somehow tell her that she could sleep beside him and holy crap, that's how things start!

Or maybe, in some sort of odd twist, they'd get a room with two beds and somehow she'd get drunk—there was a snowball's chance in hell that her boss would be the one to get drunk—then she'd (somehow) wind up back in their room and something bad would happen that she'd regret and he would fire her and she would miraculously get pregnant and her life would turn into some sort of soap opera!

Her pregnant. With the spawn of satan. Shit—

"—you're not paying attention, again."

She stopped, blinked, then glanced up to meet his piercing gaze. Crap. She hadn't been listening to him since he told her to pack her bags. He must have said something kinda important that she had to remember for the conference. "Uh… no?"

Sheldon scowled, "Penny, this trip is not for leisure; we are here for business and zoning out will not help you during the conference tomorrow." He shook his head and continued walking towards the front desk. "Now, stay there."

Penny watched him approach the front desk lady then returned. "Let's go."

Oh god. Oh god. This was it. She was going to face the reality that she had to share a room with him and something unpleasant would happen—and oh god! She really had to cut back on the cheesy shows and movies.

"We'll be staying here for two nights," he started, pressing the button for their floor, "and the conference will start at six tomorrow. You're free to do as you please before and after the conference. The lady at the front desk told me that there's a spa here. You might enjoy that."

Shit, shit, shit! She was a big ol' five—if she were to get drunk and return to their room, there was no doubt about it that she would attempt something on her boss! She probably won't remember anything, but he would, with his shitty photographic memory and crap! She was so fucking screwed. "Uh… yeah… sure."

She saw him glance at her through the mirrors in the elevator. He seemed confused. "You don't sound happy," he stated, still staring at her, "Bernadette mentioned that bribing you with a free spa day would make you listen to me for once. Will it not?"

"No, I'm happy," she lied, turning to him and giving him one of the most forced smiles she ever conjured. She was too antsy to care right now. "Just… thinking of how I'll be able to write down everything that will be discussed tomorrow, sorry."

The elevator dinged and he lead her out. "You wouldn't have to worry about that if you listened to me during the car ride."

"Right…" she tried to compose herself as they stopped in front of their room. She could feel her heart racing because she was not ready for this. Seriously.

There was a moment of silence as Sheldon stuck the card into the slot, making the light go green, then opened the door; giving her a glance at the single queen bed inside. Holy shit, when she said that she wanted to get laid after practically a million years (that's how it felt to her, don't judge her) she didn't mean her boss! "Uh… this looks nice."

This was it. The point of no return. Whatever she did now would decide her inevitable doom.

"That it is," her boss dully said, gently pushing her bags into the room with his foot. "Well… heres your room. Goodnight."

Sheldon did a small wave before stepping back and walking off as she processed what he just said. "Hey! Wait!" He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "You're not going to sleep here?"

"Why would I sleep there?" He asked with incredulity. "I have my own room. It's room number 1801. Please do notify me if there is a reason for you to disturb me. Again, goodnight." He did that awkward wave, again, then went on his way.

Huh. Well that was unexpected.