Gilmore Handbook Rule 3:
We have blue eyes for a reason. Make them your greatest asset.
Rory walked silently into the diner, her head down. She was visibly upset about something, that was quite obvious. Lorelai pulled the chair closer to her daughter and tried to console her. Luke watched from behind the counter, getting that awful feeling in his gut once again. It was the feeling he got whenever he saw Lorelai or Rory upset.
He hated that feeling. There were thousands of graphic analogies to convey the pain he had whenever he saw one of the girls cry. It wasn't often, but when it happened, it hurt. It wasn't supposed to be that way, because Luke was supposed to protect them from every evil in the world. Why? Because he loved Lorelai Gilmore so much that he felt obligated to. She didn't know it, and Rory didn't know it, but Luke was their protector. Any knight in armor references weren't necessary.
He brought a cup of coffee over to Lorelai, who mouthed "Thank you," as she stroked her daughter's shoulder.
"What's wrong?" Luke asked.
Lorelai motioned with her hand, shaking her head, almost as if she were trying to assure Luke that it wasn't a big deal. But Luke persisted. Lorelai may not think it was something huge, but Rory obviously did. He could tell by the flood of tears coming down her cheeks. He wanted to make things better. It often seemed impossible to do, but he was going to try.
"Rory?" Luke asked.
She looked up at him, wiping away her tears with the arm of her sweatshirt. "Yeah?" she sniffed.
"Uh, hang on," Luke said, walking into the supply room for a box of tissues. When he emerged, holding the entire box, Rory took several tissues and blew her nose.
"Thank you," she whimpered, breaking down again.
Luke turned to Lorelai, who again shook her head. "It's okay," she said out loud.
"Luke?" Rory asked between sobs.
He crouched down to her level, trying to determine what was wrong. "Yeah, Rory?"
And there they were… the secret weapon of the Gilmores. Rory's big blue eyes were watery, but they still had the same mesmerizing effect. Maybe it was a trait that was inherited from Lorelai, and maybe she was taught… but regardless, those eyes were impossible to deny. Luke braced himself to grant Rory's wish, despite the hassle, or time, or whatever else would be involved.
Rory took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "Would you come to my caterpillar's funeral, please?"
Luke had to strain to remember the caterpillar. When he finally recalled the caterpillar, he remembered the day Rory brought him in to see Luke. The joy on Rory's face at having a pet, a friend, that she could share things with, was so sweet. She was giving him the tour of the town, and how special was it that Luke's was the first stop?
Luke wasn't one for animals in the diner, but Rory's big blue eyes, and the joy he saw in them, allowed Ricky Boy George Bono the Caterpillar to visit the diner anytime. And now the caterpillar named after three very different and random celebrities had passed away.
"Of course I will," Luke replied. "My condolences."
Rory took another tissue. "Thank you, Luke."
Later that day, Ricky Boy George Bono was buried in the presence of three witnesses: Luke, Rory, and Lorelai. Rory officiated the burial, giving a sweet eulogy about how Ricky Boy George Bono, affectionately known as "Ricky", would sit and listen to Rory read, and how he inspired Rory to love nature.
After the services ended, Rory hugged Luke. "Thank you for being here. Ricky would have loved it. He loved the diner."
Luke glanced up at Lorelai, standing behind her daughter. "I was honored to be invited," he said, directing the comment toward both of them.
"The eyes… they get me every time. Why do you have to be so great with those eyes?" Luke asked.
"Well, Luke, if you've got it, flaunt it. We have the eyes… we might as well use them."
Luke sighed. "But you use them every single time you want something, and sometimes when you don't… they're just… there, and…"
"You've got a weakness, Luke, accept it. Our eyes are the weakness. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm not ashamed. I just can't fathom how eyes, a simple body organ, can do all of that!"
Lorelai giggled. "Well, you have basically just admitted that I've used those eyes on you before, and it's worked. Please, do tell!"
"It's been more than once. Thousands of times, Lorelai."
"I like the power I have over you," she said. "Tell me about one time you gave in because of my pretty blue eyes."
"Fine," Luke said.
She ran into the diner, talking so fast he could barely understand her. She said something about a basket, Miss Patty, and guys. Then she spit out the fact that other people were bidding on her basket… and she needed Luke's help.
"Luke! Where is he, where is he? I need him! Caesar, where is - agh, agh, thank God. Hey, hey, you gotta come with me."
Luke rolled his eyes. "What are you doing? Hey hey, I got plates here!"
"Put the burgers down. Caesar, you're in charge."
"Now wait."
"Do you have money? I need money. Which one opens this thing? Is it that one, not that one."
"Stop messing with that."
"Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man."
"You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud."
"You have to come out and bid on my basket," Lorelai said.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
It was just a stupid festival! That's all it was. Whoever won the basket bidding had to go on a picnic with the other person. But somehow, that was a thought Lorelai Gilmore didn't want to entertain. She was almost in hysterics, begging him to bid on her basket.
And she came to Luke, of all people. She always went to Luke. She stared at him, almost pleading him with the way her eyes met his.
"I have never in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs," Luke insisted, "I'm not about to start now."
"But - right now - out there – the -" Lorelai protested.
"Just buy your own basket."
"I cannot buy my own basket!"
"Why not?" Luke asked, afraid to know the answer.
"Because that is pathetic!"
"And chasing me around my diner begging me to buy your basket?" Luke pointed out.
"Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!" Lorelai begged.
Luke sighed. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Ha ha! Hurry up. Hurry up!"
Luke was ushered out of the diner and immediately engaged in the bidding war.
"Forty-seven dollars, are you kidding?"
"Luke!"
As the bids went higher and higher, and Luke protested more and more, he realized that he was going to win the basket regardless. He did this for her, he might as well go all the way.
"Uh, fifty-two fifty."
Luke hoped everyone else would be crazy to pay more than fifty three dollars for a basket.
"Fifty-two fifty going once, fifty-two fifty going twice . . . " Taylor called out.
"Sold for fifty-two fifty!"
Lorelai squealed. "It was my eyes, huh?"
"Yeah."
"How were my eyes? What look did I give?"
Luke shook his head. "It's one of those looks you give when you're not thinking about anything but what you need. It's not a look you give to try to entice someone, it's just there."
Lorelai grinned. "Entice? Dirty word," she teased.
"Ah, Jeez, next rule?"
