Chapter 3
"Peeping Lumpus"
The Jelly cabin had remained empty all night.
While the other Bean scouts slept peacefully in their well-worn beds, Lazlo, Raj and Clam had defied curfew hours in order to enjoy a little time in the wilderness; not that they didn't like staying in Camp Kidney 24/7, they just felt the need to wander about unchaperoned. It's not like anyone would mind or notice.
But then again, when had the residence of Jelly cabin ever been right?
Slinkman had searched the Prickly Pine woods near to five hours before falling into an exhausted heap by the missing campers cabin, his energy reserves severally depleted with all the repair duties, babysitting the scouts, keeping everything livable and bidding to Scoutmaster Lumpus's needs.
To put it plainly, he wanted to pass out and not wake up until he was human again - if ever.
His lids slowly cracked open, however, when he heard the familiar voices belonging to the said disobedient scouts. He poked his eyes around the corner, watching a little peevishly as they tiptoed to their door, eating the marshmallows they had swiped from their sister camp and shushing one another to chew quietly. "Keep it down you guys," Raj whispered, "If we get caught again, Lumpus will make us lick the latrines clean."
"Oh, you worry to much." Lazlo smacked, "Besides, I doubt anyone noticed we were-"
"AH HA!" The slug immediately jumped out, shining the flashlight directly in their faces.
All three dropped their junk food stash, throwing their hands in the air, screaming like banshee's.
Clam, freaking out, grabbed the closest thing he could get his sticky hands on, which was a rock, and threw it at the slug who didn't possess the reflexes to duck quick enough. This resulted into temporarily knocking the assistant out, he falling limp the second the hard object slammed between his eye stocks.
Lazlo was the first to calm down, soon realizing they weren't under attack; leaping to the assistants rescue by preventing his rhino friend from pelting any more rocks. "It's okay guys, it's just Slinkman."
"And again, I scream. AHH!" Raj tried to hide his tongue, pleading of how he didn't want to lick the toilets.
Their superior, with Lazlo helping him up, stumbled a bit trying to regain his balance. When he achieved this, he mounted a very disappointed scowl in place, "You three know not to be out after dark. And even then, you aren't allowed to go outside the camp without supervision."
"But we got the junk food munchies." Raj whimpered.
"Munchies." Squeaked Clam.
"Plus, we wanted to see the new Den mother at Acorn Flats." Came the monkey, bubbling to recount last nights events to anyone that would listen.
Slinkman tapped an irritable foot, sighing at the eager faces these children held. Would they never learn they weren't welcomed among normal society any more? No matter how many times he explained this to them, even in the most simplest terms of what would happen if they got caught, they still ventured forth without a care in the world.
Nothing ever sank into their thick little skulls.
Even though they were harmless children and posed no real threat, Slinkman was positive the feeling wasn't mutual for the Prickly Pine residence. He still had to punish the Jelly cabin for their disobedience, whipping out his clipboard to assign them latrine cleaning duties… again.
"Ooooh, do we have to?" Raj moaned, receiving a stern glare from the sleep depraved slug. "Yes, you have to. And you will continue to until you all learn not to disturb the locals. If they catch you, who's to say they wont shot you next time… or worse… perform inhuman experiments to see what makes you tick."
"But we didn't bother anyone."
"Nope. Not bother."
Slinkman let his shoulders sag while guiding them to the toilets. "Look, I know you boys wouldn't hurt a fly, but other people… well… they don't take kindly to talking animals." He handed them the rubber suits (that had their names on it), along with scrubbers and disinfectant. "So if you could be good little scouts and stay in Camp Kidney, it would really help."
The crest fallen expressions tugged a few of Slinkman's heartstrings, making the assistant reach out to pat their wilting shoulders, "Hey now, no sad faces, 'kay. Everything'll be okay."
"But how can it be okay when our very normality rides on Lumpus?" Raj whimpered.
"Er… well, miracles happen every day. Don't lose faith, boys. We have to stay positive… for everyone's sake." The slug wished with all his might he could take his own advice.
However, Lazlo was the first to perk up, turning to his fellow cabin mates excitedly, "Yeah. We just have to be optimistic. Lumpus could fall in love today with Jane."
"Who?"
Raj shed a huge grin, speaking very loudly, "Ms. Doe. She's the new Den mother at Acorn Flats. She's reeeeally pretty." The elephant poked his elbow suggestively into Slinkman's ribs, "And she's really nice too."
"Pretty." Clam screamed; the Jelly Bean scouts conveniently leaving out the part about her wielding a metal bat against them.
Some other scouts, who had been in the process of going to the restrooms, stopped to ease drop. When ever love or spell breaking was mentioned, everyone stopped what they were doing to listen.
Ping Pong, the tallest loon, inquired about the Den mother's appearance.
Lazlo struck a feminine pose, batting his eyes as he began recounting her exterior, "She's got loooong lashes that flutter like this." Flutter flutter. "Blond, shoulder length hair that goes verip at the end-" the monkey made a curly motion to the strange sound effect - "and a greeeeeeat big smile."
Raj was next in describing, strutting in a circle like a girly girl; his rubber suit making farting sounds along the way, "She walks like this, and talks like this," his rendition of her voice not at all similar.
"She swings bat like this." Clam took a scrubber and whacked Edward upside the head, earning a few laughs at the platypus's expense.
"You guys just have to see her for yourself." Lazlo squealed excitedly, riling up the other scouts who also wanted to see this attractive sounding Den mother.
"She certainly sounds attractive." Dave said with a smile, earning more positive feed back from his peers. "Maybe Scoutmaster Lumpus should meet her." Chip added.
Samson was the next to talk, grumbling, "But when has Lumpus ever stepped foot out of camp? He's to busy sleeping in his lawn chair to notice anything."
"The fur ball's right. We have a better chance in walking on water than getting that fatheaded bozo breaking this curse." Edward groused, seeming to kill everyone's hopes on the spot.
Slinkman, seeing all their expressions turn dour and not liking his campers to be depressed any more than usual, quickly waved his arms around to catch the boys attentions, "Now, now, scouts. Lets not worry about things we cant help. There's still a big, bright, beautiful day ahead… and anything's possible."
"But-"
"I said anything's possible!" And the slug meant it. He pointed for Lazlo and his bunch to get started on their punishment while the others were directed to the Mess Hall for breakfast.
The scouts trudged their way to the cafeteria doors, passing a still drowsy Lumpus on their way. The moose yawned into his hand, stretching a little to get the kinks out from last nights tossing and turning. He never got very much sleep, at least not in his bed. There were always to many things running in his mind, turning dreams into nightmares; keeping him awake until morning came and the only rest he received was when he couldn't keep his eyes open. Perhaps it also had something to do with being a nocturnal creature.
Some Bean scouts gave emotionless "good morning's" to their groggy Scoutmaster while most ignored him all together. Lumpus didn't mind the aloofness, preferring that rather than hearing complaints. And speaking of complainers, he noticed Slinkman dutifully stand beside him, informing the Scoutmaster that the missing scouts had been located and properly dealt with. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Are they cleaning with their tongues as I promised?"
"That's immoral, sir."
"Tough love, Slinkman. It never fails."
Slinkman just stood there for a minute, speechless, until sighing to himself, uttering a soft, "Yes, sir. I'll schedule that for the next time."
"See that you do. Now… lets get some grub. I'm starving."
The adults barely entered the cafeteria when all chattered ceased at once. A dozen pair of eyes turned to Lumpus, each watching him warily, the gossip spreading about Acorn Flats newest resident.
The Scoutmaster gradually began to slow his steps, feeling a little awkward as the stares persisted. "Slinkman, do I have something on my face?"
"Maybe you're just funny to look at." The assistant mumbled, covering his joke with a shake when his boss glared at him. "Then why are they looking at me?"
"I don't know, sir. Perhaps it has something to do with the Jelly cabins findings last night."
Lumpus took up a tray, becoming annoyed at the eerie silence that was never found in Camp Kidney. "Did they find a dead body? Preferably Acorn Flat's last Den mother." He smirked at that idea, having hated the woman very much after their brief, and unforgettable, encounter. She had mistaken him for a regular moose when he took his annual trip to see his General grandfathers old war site. But their meeting ended with a few gun pellets in his rear, his grandpa's tent destroyed and the lady being flung a good hundred yards by his antlers.
As fun as it was to send her air borne, the recovery time for his butt had been what else? A pain in the butt.
Slinkman giggled remembering that, "No, sir. They… ahem… saw the new Den mother."
"How exciting." Lumpus grumbled sarcastically.
"They say she's pretty." The slug hid behind his tray when Lumpus snorted. "So was the last one… until she shot me."
The Scoutmaster carried his bread and gravy to the adult table, still seeming to be the center focus for the scouts. "Stop looking at me!" he bellowed, slamming his tray down and spilling his breakfast all over the place.
The scouts immediately turned away.
"Eat your food or I'll eat it for you!"
The scouts quickly dug in, shoveling in mouthfuls at a time for they knew their Scoutmaster would steal their meal. He was known to do so before and was bound to today since his was splattered everywhere. And, like they had predicted, the moment Slinkman sat his food down, Lumpus changed out their plates.
Edward turned to his bunk mates, hushing his voice- though not enough to go unheard - whispering, "We're doomed to be like this forever. He's never gonna change."
"Yeah," Samson groaned into his drink, "That Doe lady probably wouldn't like him either."
Their Scoutmaster tried to block out the constant chatter that had his name plastered all over it. But his tolerance could hold for only so long. He shoved as much food as he could down his throat, wanting to eat and leave A.S.A.P. before he became tempted to strap a camper into his trusty, brand spankin new catapult.
Slinkman poked around in the messy puddle, taking his boss's attention off the scouts conversations, "I'm sure Commander Hoo-Haw wont allow her to quit like the last ones."
"I wonder if he's sleeping with this one too."
"Sir! Not in front of the scouts."
A naughty smirk crossed Lumpus's face. "Come on, we know it's true."
"Be that as it may, the scouts don't need to hear you talk about that stuff."
"It's not like they're paying attention." They both looked towards the boys who were staring strait back at them. The Scoutmaster fumbled with his next words, especially when Skip said, "I sleep with my brother sometimes."
Lumpus immediately stood, frustrated and tired, throwing his hands in the air, shouting, "I cant take this. I'm goin back to bed. Slinkman, if anything happens… don't bother me about it." And with that he stomped out the doors, heading back to his cabin.
Yet halfway there… he stopped.
His eyes slowly traveled across the camp, upon the docks until sliding along the sparkling water surface. A colorful speck sat at a distance, this being Acorn Flats, and with the knowledge he now possessed, Lumpus had to admit his interest was a little peeked regarding the Den mother's facade. So, instead of going back to his lumpy bed, Lumpus made a detour for the Look-Out tower.
When he reached the tip top, he took up the binoculars, scanning the lake, spotting the tiny, energetic Squirrel scouts that could never see him. The illusion the spirits placed was one that showed Camp Kidney unanimated, practically in ruins. But he could see the girls that frolicked in Acorn Flats just fine. That sounded a little perverted.
He searched for this new Den mother everyone was so excited about, looking at the Food Terrace, then the cabins, until finally settling on the dock where, to his astonishment, the woman was fishing bare foot.
He zoomed the binoculars a little more, trying to focus on this Jane person best he could. "She certainly is attractive from a distance," he mumbled, details blurred for one so far away.
Lumpus leant forward a little, leaning his stomach against the wooden rail, seeing the blond female cast into the lake. From what he could make out, she was attempting to teach two Squirrel scouts how to fish. He laughed a little to see she was also teaching herself since she would refer to a book whenever the girls asked her a question. "Not bad looking at all."
"Who sir?" Slinkman stood right behind him, scaring the be-jesus out of his boss. Lumpus fumbled with the binoculars, eventually dropping them down to the ground below. "I was… uh… nothing. I wasn't looking at no one. Er… what are you doing up here?"
Slinkman smiled sheepishly, holding out the telescope, "You stormed off rather suddenly, and without wanting a second helping. I thought… you might be feeling under the weather, sir." Both men knew that was a lie, the moose snatching the telescope to return his focus on the Den mother across the lake. "I'm fine, go away."
"I know, sir. But I had to ask-"
"I also said not to disturb me, didn't I?"
Slinkman nodded, fiddling with his clipboard. "Yes, but I've… the scouts and I have…"
Lumpus gave a groan, "Spit it out already."
The slug felt sweat begin to bead down his non-existent neck. He fretted his lip, withdrawing a deep breath before speaking, "The scouts have been feeling a little… sad."
"And that's my problem why?"
"Well, you're the Scoutmaster. I thought we could arrange a hiking trip to lift their spirits. Or maybe organize a party of some sort."
There was a long pause. And then, a very sharp, "No."
"But sir, the scouts need something to get their minds off the curse."
"They can roll around in the mud for all I care."
This didn't amuse Slinkman, he making this known with his peeved stare. "With all do respect, sir-"
"I'm sure the scouts will be fine, Slinkman. Now, go away and don't bother me. Cant you see I'm busy."
Again, Slinkman only glared. The assistant stood rigidly in place, silently fuming. He was getting increasingly frustrated with his boss's inconsiderate nature. It was bad before but now… now he simply disregarded everyone's feelings; especially the ill treated Bean scouts. And to make matters worse, the slug had caught a glimpse of the hourglass only a few days ago and - though he wouldn't share this information with the scouts - he was flabbergasted to see how much sand remained at the top.
Not a lot.
Time was steadily running out.
Why Lumpus hadn't announced this sooner the slug would never know. For, when no more sand fell, Lumpus was as dead as a door nail and they all were doomed in their current forms forever.
Apparently, that didn't bother the Scoutmaster. Or if it did, he never showed it. In fact, Slinkman assumed he was looking forward to his demise since he never did anything to prevent it. To think, all's he has to do is fall in love and he can't even do that! Slinkman raged, We could all be free to return to our families and he refuses to even try!
It was almost to much for the slug to handle, he finding his patience over the years ebbing. "Sir, before I go, I would like to know one thing."
"Shoot."
"Do you even remotely care at all what happens to the scouts?" If the answer was no, Slinkman was fully prepared to take matters into his own hands.
Lumpus waved off his assistants question, which seemed answer enough. Slinkman was severally disappointed with his boss, feeling betrayed, just like the campers. "Be that way, sir. You leave me little choice." He whispered the last part, hastily climbing back down to the ground.
He had made a promise to the boys long ago and he refused to go back on his word now. "They'll get to see their families again…" the defiant slug hissed, "and I plan on making that happen, starting today!"
A/N- Weeeeew. I'm beat. All that writing wore me out. This isn't over, not by a long shot. The next chapter update shouldn't take me too long but... the way this world works "Anything that can go wrong, will." So just keep your fingers crossed.
