So this 'date' ran a little long than planned so I cut out the UC op just to get something out there for you guys. The UC op and the Frank Maddox case (still following script) will be in the next chapter that hopefully won't take too long to finish up. Sorry about the delay but I hope it will be worth waiting for, it has the whole 'you have a blind spot for men in power' speech & some serious talk between Amanda & Nick in it.
And thank you so much for the reviews. I'm seeing and reading all of your/s and I wish I could have like, you know those spoiler buttons on communities, well I wish I had one of those but for smut. There's not so much in this chapter though (will probably disappoint some *sorry* but there is plenty of groping at least) but when the two gets near a bathroom together then you might want to grab that pillow and keep reading with it in front of your face or perhaps jump a few lines. Just saying ;)

Happy Midsummer btw! I'm going out to jump around like a frog around a flower and birch covered pole now, just another one of our crazy traditions up here :)


Chapter 4


He had a hard time containing himself. It was already hard to try and act as nothing was going on between them when around the squad room. He had no problem handling the cases or the suspects but then there would be that brief moment when she got a little too close, when he could smell her and his pants felt a little too tight. He snapped out quickly though, knew it could get her in trouble if Liv or if a perpetrator caught wind of his affection to her. He would never not defend her when she was challenged or pursued but it wasn't that often she actually needed him to come to her aid.

Right now though Saturday was mostly on his mind. He knew his anticipation level was so high it was bound to disappoint. He tried to get a grip on himself which wasn't easy when he felt as nervous as when he was 14 and taking a girl to the movies for the very first time. That had been his first real date and even though Amanda had emphasized twice now that this wasn't a date he couldn't help but feel that it was very much so a date.

He changed shirt four times that Saturday finally settling on a white one with a nice cut and discreet pattern on the front. He knew white brought out his dark complexion nicely and it fitted well with the black jeans he had already settled on. He put on a nice belt and would finish the attire off with a simple black summer jacket in case the night got chilly. He shaved, put on some fragrance and then put some effort into fixing his hair. Once by the mirror in his foyer he got a little self-conscious feeling like he tried a little too much perhaps and couldn't help but think he looked a little like George Chakiris or one of his crew in West side story. He tried flattening his hair a bit and then headed out grabbing his keys, money and his phone trying to put on a braver face than how he felt.

Her place was in walking range but he didn't want to get sweaty or anything and hailed down a cab since they needed one to get to the restaurant anyway. He'd texted her that he was on his way but when they pulled up by her building she still wasn't down so he told the cabbie to wait as he checked upstairs. He found her door at bay and he got a little wary calling out her name as he slid it open a little further.

"I'm here, I'm coming," he heard her shout from within the apartment and her tone sounded a bit rushed.
"I'm sorry, I…" she said coming hurrying out from her bedroom and she said something about taking a jog and she was running late but he spaced out cause she was absolutely gorgeous, and he could smell her from there, a sweet scent of violets which made his head spin. He watched her spin around the room collecting things or something.

Her hair was all curled up and some of it bundled into a ponytail while some strands were framing up her face beautifully. She wore make-up that made her eyes bigger and somehow brighter. He loved seeing her with lipstick like this but it did make it harder for him to resist her. And if that wasn't enough what she was wearing didn't help either. She was in a black dress or tunica perhaps, it was a little lose fitting on top but with a deep plunging neckline that revealed a bit of her bra which was just as sinfully black as her top garment. The sleeves were wide with a slit going down to her elbow were they were attached somehow. The midsection was tight and then the bottom part ended well above her knees. She was wearing black stockings, when she came a little closer he could tell they were fine fishnet stockings. She wore a long, silver chain around her neck that fell down her cleavage.

"What?" she asked once she realized he wasn't contributing to the conversation she was having. She was putting on a pair of hoop earrings and her head was tilted to one side a bit.

"You're gorgeous," he said with a big grin on his face.

"Get out of here," she said rolling her eyes a bit but couldn't really hide the smile.

"Amanda," he said calling for her attention when she tried to turn away, "you're breathtaking." She shook her head a bit and hoped her rouge would hide the fact she was blushing.

"I'm feeling under dressed now," he said. That made her turn to face him again.

"Nick, you're fine," she said seriously but then gave him a look as his grin spread across his face again.

"You called me fine," he teased cocking his eyebrows.

"Oh you shut up, let's get out of here," she said trying to get past him but he grabbed a hold of her arm and wheeled her in. She pretended to put up a little fight even though she didn't want anything else than to be near him right now. He let one hand rest on her midsection and put the other one underneath her jaw so he could tilt her head up a little, he wanted a good look at her. Whenever she'd been dolled up like this he'd only been able to watch her from a far, it was no way he wouldn't make sure to get a closer look now that he had the chance.

"I promise to stay away from you for the rest of the night but to be able to do that…" he said once he could tell she was getting restless under his intense gaze and then he closed in on her mouth. He tasted her lower lip before he draped her entire mouth with his and met her tongue halfway. His hand went down over her ass and he couldn't help but press her up against him a little. She moaned a little into his mouth as her core was pressed against his thigh. He felt himself starting to get excited too and knew he would have to let her go soon or he wouldn't be able to let her stay dressed. He managed to separate himself from her mouth and rested his forehead against hers. They both took a couple of deep breaths.

"You smell delicious, taste even more so but I think the cabbie's probably missing us," he whispered.

"We could tip him good," she suggested and he chuckled. She separated herself a bit from him though and then reached up to swipe her thumb over his lower lip.

"This color suits you," she mocked a little as she let him go. She grabbed a pair of black high heels from the floor and sat down on the closest surface which was the couch table. He tried to wipe his own lips a bit as he checked out her toned legs as she got her heels on and fasten the ankle cuffs. He could not wait to see her dance in those.

"Okay let's go," she said getting up. She easily swiped passed him in her heels that took her to his height, grabbing a black little clutch bag with a thin strap from the kitchen counter. She stopped by the foyer mirror and added a new layer of lipstick before she grabbed her keys and then told him to get his ass moving. He did nothing to hide his grin as he passed her. She locked her door and put the keys down in her clutch.

"Did I really promise to keep my hands off you the rest of the night?" he asked as they rode down the elevator. She gave him a side glance attached to a slight nod but her face quickly turned to a smile as she felt his hand sneak up the back of her thigh and land on her ass.

"Weakling," she said as she stepped out on the ground floor. He hurried up to her so he could open the door for her and then somehow managed to beat her to the cab as well and repeated his chivalrous manner. She said hi to the driver as she slid over to the other side of the cab so Nick could get in after her. She adjusted her dress to cover up her thighs and didn't miss the disapproving glance Nick gave her. She chuckled silently as Nick gave the cabbie the address to the restaurant Amanda had made reservations at for them. She'd been tenacious to handle that part, he figured it was to emphasize that this wasn't a date.

He paid the cabbie and told her she could pay for the next one when she complained a bit. She said she would pay for dinner but he knew there was no way he would let her do that. She got out on the curb on her own and waited for him by the entrance to the restaurant. He felt very proud as he saw two guys who were smoking outside the restaurant checking her out only to a bit sheepishly look away as he walked up to her and she greeted him with a smile. She might not want to think of this as a date but he, and the rest of the world did and that was at least something.

As they were running a little late they were immediately shown to their table. Nick ordered in a bottle of red after having checked with Amanda that's what she wanted. Amanda said she was starving and they dove right into the menus but if she would've been honest it was mostly cause she realized the restaurant was filled with mostly couples out on, what looked like, romantic dinners and it made her feel a bit uncomfortable and in need to hide behind one of the largest menus she'd ever seen, she felt like a midget behind it. This discomfort might also have been the reason she downed her first glass of wine rather quickly.

Nick did his best to stay calm and tried to make her feel at ease as he could pick up on the fact she wasn't feeling all that comfortable. He picked it up by the fact she downed her first glass of wine in just two goes and in-between 'sips' she'd been chewing down on her lip while gazing over the crowd in a way she would stare down a suspect in the interrogation room. He wasn't sure how to make the situation easier for her and even though he did it he wasn't sure refilling her glass was the best way.

"This place wasn't that shabby, first time you're here?" he asked and she nodded while picking up her glass.

"How did you find it?"

"It's in walking distance from AJ's work and you could book online," she said shrugging. That was the simple truth, she kind of wished now though that she'd chosen another spot and paid a little more attention to the fact it was Saturday and she was booking for two. She felt a bit silly though for letting the surroundings get to her. They were just two friends out and about grabbing a bite to eat before going out drinking. But looking at him over the table, the candle between them lightning up his face and him looking so damn fine it was hard to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.

She excused herself to the bathroom just to get away for a bit. Nick couldn't help but check her ass and legs out a bit as she walked away but he also felt a bit concerned. He didn't like that he was making her this uncomfortable and a part of him feared she would duck out the back door and just leave him there. When their starters came and she still wasn't back he got even more worried she had made a break for it. He exhaled when he finally saw her coming back to the table.

He fought the urge to get up and hold out the chair for her fearing that could be the drop that would have her actually fleeing. She sat down with an apologizing smile but didn't say anything. She feared he would hear the tremble on her voice, how nervous she got by just catching sight of him. She gulped some more wine and then grabbed her fork as it seemed he was waiting for her to get started. Why did he have to be such a darn gentleman? This would be easier if he was a jerk.

"This was good, yours?" he tried once the awkward silence got to him. She hummed in consent as her mouth was filled with whatever it was she had ordered. She really had no idea and it wasn't that good either. It was just a prawn with some garnish, a total waste of time and just confirmed her disbelief in starters.

"Are you sure?" he asked sensing she wasn't being honest.

"I've just never seen the point with starters you know?" she confessed and his face immediately lit up since he just knew she would have a good explanation, "I mean it's just this teeny tiny thing on a plate, and yes it might get your appetite salivating or whatever but just give me the frickin food already."

He chuckled and put his napkin up to his mouth to prevent slobbering.

"I know it's not very lady-like but what can I say," she said grabbing her glass and feeling a slight blush on her cheeks.

"That has nothing to do with being a lady or not, I get your drift," he said trying to contain his smile, "I think they probably came up with starters to get the customers to drink more."

"Well it's working," she said raising her glass before she put it to her lips.

He had a hard time letting her go with his eyes but he noticed the faint image of a dragon on the wall behind her and it got him an idea.

"Have a dragon or be a dragon?" he asked pulling her attention before she was able to drink some more wine.

"Huh?" she asked a little dazed.

"Would you rather have a dragon or be a dragon," he repeated calmly. She smiled and seemed to relax a bit.

"Be a dragon," she answered after giving it just a brief thought. He'd been expecting that answer.

The conversation got a little more fluent after that, Amanda seemed to relax more and more with every sip of wine she had. He'd picked up before that alcohol usually got her talking, not that she was silent otherwise but alcohol made her talk more freely and it was refreshing to listen to her.

Their main course finally came around, he'd ordered fish while she picked meat. He did notice that she didn't eat with as much appetite as she usually did. She said there was nothing wrong with her food but he figured it must be something. He asked her if she wanted a taste of his and he enjoyed feeding her a fork across the table. It gave him an opportunity to stare at her lips without having to hide it. She looked absolutely stunning in the candle light.

The dinner was running smooth, they ordered Irish coffee for dessert and he got a chance to touch her hand when she reached for some chocolate shavings that was left on the table for garnish. She froze when his hand landed on hers, she lingered on the side of the small plate and kept her eyes on his fingers that swept over her hand. A waitress passed them and she withdrew her hand quickly. She shot him a quick glance when he held out the small plate for her and she whispered a thanks as she sprinkled some of the shavings over her whipped cream. He didn't need it, the shy smile she gave him was sufficient enough for him.

They got in a bit of hassle once they decided to get the check in. It was of course placed in front of him and he refused to let her pay. She looked really fuming though and he offered her to pay for the drinks for the rest of the night.

"You're like one step away from a teetotaler," she groaned.

"I promise I'll try and keep up with you," he said challenging.

"You can try," she said still sounding a bit pissed but he sensed her warming up again.

"I will, and I will enjoy trying," he said turning his attention to the bill.

Walking over to the restaurant where this AJ worked he quizzed her a bit about how the two of them knew each other. He learnt they were in high school together, ran tracks together and stayed in touch after graduation. AJ apparently came to New York to pursue an acting career years before Amanda transferred up. AJ had done a few off-off-Broadway plays but now supported herself as a waitress at a place where she got to dress up at and only auditioned for commercials. She'd been the legs in a Veet commercial he learnt and when he said she must have nice legs then Amanda let him know he would for sure get a good look at them later on.

He wasn't really interested in seeing AJ's legs but he was looking forward to meeting her. He hoped to be able to quiz her a bit about Amanda's past, that she would have something for him that might just help him figure out Amanda a little better.

They reached the restaurant but Amanda pulled him away from the entrance and into the side alley. For a moment he hoped they were going to kill the time before midnight doing something shady in there but he realized she was taking him to the back entrance. She took him in through the kitchen where the cooks were tidying up for the night. Nick could tell they recognized Amanda as they gave her a nod as the two passed through.

"We can wait here," she said as they reached a connecting room. It didn't take long until one of the cooks popped his head in.

"Hey, can I get you something?" he asked.

"Gavin, hi," Amanda said, "this is Nick, he's coming out with us tonight."

"Cool, hi Gavin," the man said extending his hand and Nick shook it.

"Hi," Nick smiled.

"Beers?" Gavin asked turning back towards Amanda. She shot Nick a quick glance and when she got a nod from him she told Gavin yes please.

"I'll be right back," he said and ducked back out. They weren't alone for many seconds since three people in very elaborate costumes walked in.

"Hey girl," one of them said and Nick thought he recognized the voice from the phone call earlier that week. The woman, who wore some sort of crow costume, threw her arms around Amanda's neck.

"You look awesome," she said once she let Amanda go.

"This is Nick," Amanda said ignoring the compliment.

"Nick, this is AJ, and Goren and Lola," Amanda said gesturing between her friends. Goren and Lola raised their hands in a wave at him while AJ apparently wanted a hug so Nick granted her one.

"So nice to meet you Nick," AJ said letting him go but keeping her hand around his arm, which he felt as she squeezed it a bit. AJ turned her head towards Amanda and gave her a look, Amanda shot her a stern look back. Nick spotted the exchange of looks but didn't really follow. Had Amanda said something to AJ about him?

Gavin came back with their beers and AJ told him to fetch a crate for them. She then told Amanda and Nick that they would change and be right back. Nick didn't get any alone time with Amanda since they were joined by another few waiters and waitresses in crazy costumes. Nick lost track of their names and who were going out with them or not but as AJ and some of them came back in he started to separate the groups as some were staying in costumes and he figured they would not be joining them. The boss stopped by to thank them for a good night's work and to wish them a pleasant evening. He greeted Amanda by name and by the brief verbal exchange they had Nick got the feeling he was familiar with her, that she must've spent some time back there in the past.

Once the crate was empty they started to head out. AJ, who were blonde and not brunette as when he'd first met her, grabbed Nick under the arm and she was quite talkative.

"Oh so you're a cop too?" she said turning her head back towards Amanda who were walking behind them sharing a few words with Gavin. They exchanged glances again.

"Aha," Nick just said. He wasn't sure what Amanda had told her friend about him and he didn't want to ruin anything.

"That's interesting," AJ said once she turned her attention back at him.

"Why?" he had to inquire.

"Manda's always said she wouldn't date another cop," AJ said holding on tight to his arm.

"Oh we're not… dating," Nick tried.

"No?" AJ said sounding surprised and he shook his head.

"So you're just friends with benefits then?" AJ said giving him a serious look. Nick wasn't really sure what to say but didn't have to say anything in the end as AJ's face broke into a wide grin before she slapped his arm and then announced they had arrived. There were a few people in line outside but AJ just brought them past them and the guards let their entire company pass.

Nick soon found himself at a big round table by one wall, the music was loud and there was a warm and somewhat frisky atmosphere all around. He had Amanda to his left and a guy, that he later learnt was called Stud, to his right. He wasn't sure if Stud was his real name or if it was a nickname perhaps linked to the stud he had pointing out of his lower lip. Anyway he was really chatty and had some interesting views on the negative impact of social media, Nick wasn't completely clear on how they'd landed on that subject but he didn't mind.

He soon found himself with a drink in his hand and trying to follow this Stud as he tried to explain why he thought Mark Zuckerberg was an Illuminati. He managed to at the same time keep an eye, and ear, on what Amanda was up to. She had AJ to her left and they seemed to be catching up on what had been going on since they last saw each other. It didn't take long until Amanda and AJ were pulled to the dance floor, Amanda asked Nick if he wanted to join but he said he was fine and she hurried after AJ once she'd shot him an extra glance just to make sure he really was fine.

Nick was fine. The music was a little loud but he enjoyed himself. Stud soon found someone else to trash social media with but Nick didn't lack company. Amanda's friends were all very social and interested in him. As they'd learnt by now he was a cop he got a lot of questions about his juiciest crimes he'd ever solved. Apparently Amanda never talked about her job and it was the one thing they didn't like about her.

While he talked to her friends he kept track of Amanda and it was a joy for him to see her in this new environment. She seemed so relaxed, surely the alcohol helped, and she was a vision on the dance floor. AJ mostly had others attention with her untamed dance moves but Amanda had Nick's. She wasn't as untamed as AJ, although AJ did push her there at times, making Amanda grind down with her.

She did spend a lot of time on the dance floor or over by the bar getting more drinks for herself, and Nick as promised. But she always made sure to check in with him from time to time and she did sit down next to him, at times even shoehorning herself in-between Nick and the person he had a conversation with. Never interrupting the convo though. She usually stayed around long enough for them to swop a few words at least. He was keeping a tiny eye on how many drinks she was consuming but her eyes were steady and her speech unaffected so he wasn't worried.

At one point he found himself right next to AJ, she hadn't been at the table since after those first couple of minutes when they got there. He hadn't kept track of her, he'd only seen her when she was grinding down on the dance floor with Amanda or the two sharing a moment over by the bar. AJ seemed like an extremely social person. She asked him if he wanted a refill on his drink but he said he'd stick to water for a while.

"I wish I had your character," she said leaning in to him with a big grin before she put her lips around the straw in her current drink. He'd taken her for rather drunk but suddenly she seemed very lucid.

"So how's she doing?" she asked. He'd been keeping his eyes on Amanda who were standing a few yards from their table talking with someone Nick didn't recognize. He turned his attention to AJ.

"How's Amanda doing?" she asked again as he looked a little confused. Nick felt himself ramble a little as he wasn't sure how to answer her or what exactly she was after either.

"Look," she said leaning in even closer to his ear so she didn't have to shout as much, "I know you're more than friends, and not cause Manda has told me, she's a clam, but I can see the way you're looking at her, and the way she's looking at you."

"She's looking at me?" he had to ask feeling something in his gut flutter slightly.

"Please, she's picturing you naked every time she looks at you," AJ grinned. At that right moment Amanda turned her head back towards them and Nick felt both flushed and a tightness in his jeans when her eyes landed on him. She shot him a questionable look but he just shot her a smile and then she turned back to the person she was talking to.

"And I know Manda doesn't really think I'm the insightful type, which is right by the way, but I think you're probably the reason I haven't seen her around much these past weeks. But before that I know there was a reason she hung out in the back of my restaurant almost every night of the week. So I'm wondering if she's doing better now? Have you fixed her Nick?"

"I'm not sure it's something that can be fixed," he said honestly not taking his eyes off Amanda, "but I like to think I'm helping her along."

"In more ways than one," he added giving AJ a cheeky smile. She shoot him one right back and added a bit of eyebrow wink. Nick decided though this might be a good time to probe a little more and dropped the cheekiness.

"Does she often get into such… episodes?" he asked hoping AJ would get his drift. She shrugged.

"Not as bad as a few weeks ago, I've only seen that once before like after a few months when she first got to town. Usually it's nothing a night out can't fix. Get some booze in her, get her to relax. Used to work in high school and that hasn't changed."

"You got her drunk in high school too?" he smiled.

"A girl got to help out," she grinned at him, "and she needed to get out of that house of hers."

"Why?"

"It just wasn't a nice place to hang out at, not much love around, at least not the right kind," AJ said a bit cryptically.

"What do you mean?" he asked turning his attention straight at her.

"Oh nothing, I'm drunk, I'm just happy she got away from that crazy family of hers," AJ said, planted a kiss on his cheek and then took off towards the bar after leaving her empty glass on the table in front of him. Nick watched her slap Amanda's behind as she passed her and Amanda shouted something after her before she turned her head back towards Nick again. He watched her say something to the person she was talking to and then she came over to him. She placed her knee up on the seat next to him, leaned in and asked if everything was okay. He couldn't help but just slightly brush by her thigh with his hand as he gave her a nod.

"So you're enjoying clubbing?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes," he said loudly and convincingly. They changed tunes on the dance floor and Amanda's eyes went there briefly.

"There's one thing you still haven't done yet though," she said once her eyes came back to meet his again.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"You haven't danced," she said cocking her head towards the dance floor.

"Oh I'm not sure…"

"Oh c'mon, dance with me," she said trying her puppy eyes which made him laugh.

"I don't do well dancing like that though, I'm more familiar with the type of dancing when you hold on to someone," he confessed feeling insecure about giving it a try. It had been ages since he danced like that, and even back when he wasn't that good to his own admission.

"I'll hold on to you," she said. He gave her a suspicious look, thinking it was just a way to get him up there but her nod was very convincing. He thought he heard a tiny squeal from her when he started to move out from his seat behind the table. She grabbed a hold of his hand and he quickly entwined his fingers with hers as they made their way over to the dance floor. She offered her other hand to him as well as they got there but then got a little self-conscious for some reason. She wasn't sure if it was the proximity dancing like that even if they had plenty of space between them or if it was just holding on to him in public like that. Not that she thought many people paid them much attention but she knew this was different. This wasn't just someone she was hooking up with, this was someone she cared about and it was probably the alcohol that made that fact impossible to try and ignore right now.

Even though the music was far from a slow dance she soon found herself very close to him and feeling his cheek just nearby her own, seeing his skin that close to her and smelling him, it was the same smell she'd felt many times between, or on, or even off, the sheets. She felt a pain inside, it was no other way to describe it, it did feel like a pain. It was physical and it tore in her chest and she felt a need to separate herself from him.

He enjoyed this sort of club dancing. He did enjoy seeing her move around on the dance floor but he feared that if she tried to grind him he would just not be able to control himself. Dancing like this though, being pushed closer to her by the crowd surrounding them and holding on to her hands with anyone and everyone able to see. He could get used to that. He felt the moment when she got stiff though, when she just froze and he got a little concerned when she took a step back keeping her head down.

She wasn't sure what was going on and she feared for a while that she had too much to drink. It would just be like her to get intoxicated and make a fool of herself she was able to think to herself but when she looked up at him she could see him perfectly. Nothing was spinning, well except her gut that was making twirls as she felt an arousal spreading from her core and out through her body. It was all very physical and she felt a need to kiss him.

She was still very much aware of the people around them though, another sign she wasn't completely wasted, and her eyes went around the room once she was able to tear them off him.

He stepped in, wanted to make sure she was okay but then she let one of his hands go and pulled him along by the other one. He just tagged along as she pushed through the crowd. He wasn't sure what was going on but he was rather sure she was at least okay since he didn't think she would drag him along if she wasn't. He apologized to a guy that Amanda more or less shoved away when he was in the way to wherever she was going. He had to smile a little at her assertiveness.

He really had no idea what was going on but soon found himself being shoved inside a bathroom. Thankfully it had a door with a lock as she wasted no time unbuckling his belt and he no longer wondered what she was up to. He'd seen that eagerness before. The tiny space was completely drenched in red light and it made it all seem very mystified to him.

"Hey," he said trying to hold her back a bit even though he felt a part of himself not able to restrain itself at all. She muffled him with her mouth and as soon as he felt her tongue inside his mouth, filling him with the aroma of pineapple and liquor, he was lost. He pushed her up against the closest wall, holding on to her face as he tried to get his tongue deeper inside her mouth. Her hands worked quickly and he felt his pants getting shoved down from his hips. Her hand on him made him gasp and he worked his mouth down her neck to be able to get some air while his lips still eagerly worked her.

"Fuck me," she whispered close to his ear. He wasn't sure if it was the music he heard pumping in the background or if it was the sound of his own heart racing, probably a mix of the two. He used his body to shove her up further against the wall as he moved in between her legs, letting his hands go in under her dress. She got her one foot up on the washing bowl, the other one was already on the toilet seat. She had her shoes on so he didn't care about any sanitary risks and he tried to ignore the slight worry about the wall being filthy against her back. She certainly didn't seem to mind at all.

He struggled to get her stockings down in the position she was in, that they both were in.

"Rip 'em," she panted feeling him struggle with his task. He pulled away just enough to be able to look at her.

"Rip 'em," she repeated with a very predatory look and tone of voice. He held her eyes as he tore through the thin layer, and she bit down on her lip when the threads dug in a little into her skin. He caught her lips with his as he pulled her panties to the side and slipped two fingers inside of her. She inhaled quickly, let out a couple of frantic yelps as he moved his fingers around inside of her and she forced herself closer to him by latching on around his neck. He pushed her further into the wall feeling her need for closeness.

She was more or less dripping already but he still took a couple of moments to rub her clit before he grabbed a hold of himself to guide himself inside of her. He froze for a second when he heard a pounding on the door but then gave it no more thought as all he could think about was getting deeper inside of her. He put one palm up against the wall behind her and let his other hand hold on around her thigh as he thrusted himself up inside of her a couple of times. He swiped his hand up and down her extended leg a few times and tugged a little more at her torn stockings just because it felt incredibly sexy. Their mouths met again as someone shouted on the outside of the door.

"What if they come in?" he managed to breathe against her mouth.

"Yeah what if?" she said catching his eyes briefly before she closed the gap again biting down on his lip. He tried keeping his eyes open, watching her drenched in that red light with someone right outside wanting to burst down the door for all they knew was incredibly sexy and it made his mission more forceful. He could already tell she would be able to come without more stimulation than this and he kept the motion going, just thrusting up inside of her in a quick and determined manner, making her ass beat up against the wall.

He heard the music pounding in the walls, her yelps with every thrust and his own groaning as they climbed climax together. She dug her nails into his neck the moment before she reached release and then when he felt her entire body go rigid he let himself go in vigorously thrust that had her purring. He held on to her as they rode out the orgasm, preventing her from slipping down the wall and even when she managed to get her feet down on the floor he held on to her to make sure she was steady on her feet but also cause he didn't feel like letting her go just yet. She reached up and caught his lips even though they were both still out of breath. Her tongue twirled around his a few laps before she broke free.

"I need to pee," she breathed, "turn around." He did as told but the mirror made him have a full view of her anyway. She caught him looking, gave him a cheeky smile and but then ignored him. He couldn't completely tear his eyes away from her but he did get his own pants in order and then got the water on to wash his hands and splash a little water on his face.

Once she'd flushed she had a look at the state of her stockings and then seemed to decide to get rid of them altogether as she started to hitch them down completely. She didn't have anywhere to sit as the toilet was missing a lid and she tried to get her leg up to undo her shoe but she wasn't in a state where she could balance that good.

"Let me," he offered and squatted down in front of her. He fumbled a little with the ankle cuff but it just gave him some time to fondle her leg with his other hand. She reached over the washing bowl meanwhile.

"It's easier if you use both hands," she teased as she dried her hands on some paper.

"I know but it's not as much fun," he said letting his hand slip up even further on the inside of her thigh and he both felt and saw the shiver going through her body. He gave her amused look.

"Don't start what you can't finish," she warned.

"Is that a dare?" he asked and stopped what he was doing. The look he gave her was definitely a dare and she bit down on her lip with excitement. Whoever was on the other side of the door spoiled the moment for them though as he again banged on the outside. Nick shot her a grin, leaned in to place a kiss right above her knee and said;

"I'll deliver when we get home."

"Tease," she whispered but did look a little relieved when he shot her a look. It would be a lie to say she hadn't have sex in a bathroom before but it had never been that good and she feared another round would leave her completely unable to keep herself upright. He got her shoe off and slipped the stocking off it before he placed it back on. The banging on the door had stopped so he took a little longer time with the second shoe, swiping his hand up and down her calf a few times and then squeezing her toes in his hand just because he felt like it.

Once he'd placed her second foot down back on the floor he let his hands run up her now bare legs as he kept himself close, inhaling deeply as he passed her crotch and then brought the dress up with him so he could place his hands underneath it on her ass when he caught her lips with his to give her a passionate kiss.

"Have I told you lately that I find you very attractive," he asked once he was able to let her mouth go. She rolled her eyes at him as usual but he also caught the smile. She turned in his arms to get to the water again and he smiled when she wet her hands and swiped them underneath her arm pits and then around her neck.

"Did I make you flustered?" he teased.

"Don't flatter yourself," she said bumping her ass back a bit against his crotch.

"Oh," he breathed, "now who's the tease?" She sighed and told them to get out of there before someone broke down the door. They got a few looks from the line outside the bathrooms but Amanda ignored them and Nick couldn't help but stare back a little proudly. He'd never had sex in a bathroom before but it was just another thing he could get used to if Amanda was by his side.

AJ caught them coming back and didn't miss the fact Amanda was without her black stockings now. She gave them a plain-speaking look but then told Nick to have a look at her legs. They'd been in a commercial she let him know and he did his best to keep from laughing as Amanda burst into giggles behind AJ's back.

They stayed for another couple of hours. Amanda spent a little more time on the dance floor with her friends but came to sit by him every now and then. After their bathroom session she wasn't as reserved and he felt her hand on his thigh more than once. He figured that gave him permission to touch her at least a little and he kept his hand on her back whenever she was around, maybe he even coped a feel further down when he got the chance.

During the night he got to learn a couple of more things about Amanda from her friends. One guy told him that Amanda was a killer at karaoke but she needed a few before she went up there. AJ spilled that the two of them once were arrested during their high school years for being drunk and disorderly and that Amanda had to spend the night in jail since her mom was nowhere to be found. AJ had refused to leave her friend their once her dad bailed her out and she'd slept the night on the stairs outside the police station. He never got to hear how, or when, Amanda got out since AJ was probably just as, or even more, drunk and disorderly than back then and she soon found something on the other side of the table that needed her attention apparently.

And just as back then AJ wasn't the only one drunk, Amanda came in a close second. He'd seen her eyes go cross-eyed the last time she popped by him but now they were even more so and even a little droopy.

"You wanna head home?" he asked getting his mouth close to her ear as he put his arm around her shoulders so he could get her to lean back with him.

"You're so cute," she blurted out, her hand a bit sloppily patting his chest.

"Well thanks, you are pretty cute too," he countered placing a kiss on her temple. He let her rest against his shoulder for a while. Suddenly the lights turned on and the music died quickly. Nick couldn't help but smiled as he realized he'd closed a club, for his age that wasn't too shabby he thought to himself. Gavin popped down on the seat next to him.

"You'll make sure she gets home?" Gavin asked him. Nick nodded.

"Good, we're taking AJ home," he said and then leaned in over Nick to place a kiss on Amanda's more or less sleeping face.

"Good to meet you," Gavin said putting out his fist and Nick pumped it or whatever it was called.

"You too," he said.

"Again, I hope," Gavin said and then took off. Nick tried to get a look at Amanda and her eyes popped back up when he moved.

"Ready to head home?" he asked.

"Sure," she said and got up trying to act a bit more sober than she was. She did manage to stay upright but he did see her sway a little and got his hand around her waist. Whatever reason he liked just being close to her. He grabbed his jacket and made sure she still had her tiny clutch over her shoulder. Heading out they said bye to some more of her friends and Nick let Gavin, AJ and another girl get into the first cab. Amanda looked as though she needed the air anyway.

"You doing okay?" he asked and tried getting some strands of hair away from her face to get a better look at her.

"I think I'm a bit drunk," she said and ended it with a slight hiccup. He smiled.

"I think you might be right," he said placing a soft kiss on her temple.

"I won't puke though," she said staring a bit vacantly ahead, "I hate puking. I won't do it."

"Okay, but it's okay if you do. I won't leave your side," he said.

"You won't?" she asked looking up at him with puppy love eyes.

"No I won't," he said chuckling slightly, "now c'mon let's get home."

He helped her get into the cab and he really enjoyed when she crept up right next to him and put her head on his shoulder. He gave the cab driver her address and then turned all his attention to her.

"I really like your friends," he let her know.

"Yeah, they're nice right?" she mumbled.

"They really are, AJ cares a lot about you."

"Yeah she really is," Amanda said and Nick smiled at her cute disarray.

"She told me you two got in some trouble back home in Loganville," he said trying to get her attention and it seemed to work.

"Oh no," Amanda complained, "I told her she couldn't tell you anything like that." She sounded a bit devastated.

"It's okay, I like learning more about you, good or bad," he said placing a kiss on her hair. He felt her shiver slightly and he asked her if she was cold. She said no but when touching her leg he thought she felt cold so he put his jacket over her lap.

"My knight," she mumbled half asleep. He enjoyed just having her close for the rest of the ride. Once they reached her place he paid the driver before he started to make any attempts to get her out. The driver offered to help out but Nick said he got it. He managed to get her to at least help out a little and soon he found himself holding her upright on the street as he shut the cab door.

"Okay," he said catching his breathe a little. For a petite person she'd been rather hard to fold out of a cab. He held on to her a for a while, again just enjoying this new experienced even if she was stone drunk. This had been such an awesome night on many levels. They had a dinner out, in public, just the two of them. It had started out a little awkward but it ended on a much better note. It had been nice seeing Amanda among her friends and the club had been a… an experience for sure. Standing there now outside her building as the sun was coming up over their great city he was tired but very pleased.

"Okay, let's get upstairs," he said once he'd pulled a deep breath, "but I'm warning you, I will carry you if you don't help out a bit."

He'd figured right when he thought that would get her moving. She wasn't always moving in the right direction though but it did earn them a few laughs as they made it upstairs. Laughing seemed to give her a bit of energy back. Once on her floor their laughter got an older neighbor lady popping out her head and Nick apologized a million times.

"You should've made an ugly morning mug arrest," Amanda blurted out once the old lady popped her head back in and Nick tried to muffle his laugh.

"Okay let's get you inside before you get us in anymore trouble," he said grabbing hold of her waist from behind and he got her slightly off the floor as he moved them over to her door.

"We should've just stayed out dancing," Amanda said once inside and made a twirl that would've landed her on the floor if he hadn't been there to grab a hold of her.

"I think we've had enough dancing for tonight," he said planting a kiss on her neck as he brought her further in. He made her sit down on the couch and then helped her out of her shoes. She didn't lean back on the couch, more slumped to one side but still managed to look cute in her less than sober state.

"I'm just going to get you a glass of water before we head to bed," he said making his way into her kitchen. He made her drink the entire glass hoping it would help her feel better in the morning, or rather later today since it was already morning.

"Okay, let's go," he said grabbing a hold of her hands to get her up off the couch.

"But I don't want to sleep," she moaned.

"No?" he said glancing back at her as he kept pulling her along towards the bedroom. Once there though she said she was in need of the bathroom, to pee though, not puke she defined when he shot her a worried look. He figured it would be okay if he tagged along since she didn't seem to mind at the club and he really didn't want to leave her alone even if she was off her high heels now. While she was on the toilet he got his jeans off and then took the opportunity to smear some of her toothpaste on his teeth and he rubbed it out with his finger and some water. He got her a piece of paper once she seemed done but had lingered on the toilet in a bit of a blank state for a while. He smiled at her idle look. Once she got up on her feet he pulled her to the sink and got the water running for her. He flushed for her and then stepped up behind her again. She seemed to have slipped into a bit of immobile state. He took the opportunity to again plant a kiss on her neck and then got her hair down. Looking at over her shoulder at their reflection in the mirror he couldn't help but smile and he contemplated what to do with her. He liked the role of caretaker. As a kid he always wanted to take care of his mother, a job that got that much easier once his abusive father left the home for good.

He figured he should probably try and get some of her make-up off. He told her to rinse her face off and she did as told. Coming back up she looked like she was war-painted and he chuckled slightly as he got a towel to her face. It was really hard getting the make-up off and she had a frown on her face every time he pulled the towel back. With a little help from her but more help just using his eyes through the bathroom cabinet he found some remover and he used a cotton pad to clean the residue off. He made a note to go for that first thing next time cause it did seem more gentle for her. He kissed her nose once he felt done but that made her frown and he laughed.

"Okay let's get to bed then," he said spinning her around slowly and pushing her out of there.

"But why can't we just keep dancing," she asked.

"Cause sleep would be so much better now," he said as his hands went up underneath her dress to pull it off her.

"Sleep is for suckers," she spat out and he chuckled. She managed to spin around in his arms without him losing his grip on her dress and she raised her arms when he told her to.

"You agree don't you? Only wimps need to sleep," she said as the dress went over her head.

"Actually I think sleep can be nice," he said tossing her dress over the bed post.

"You're a bore Nick Amaro," she said, with a smile though.

"Yeah?" he challenged, "That's not what you thought at the club when you dragged me off the dance floor and into the bathroom." He coaxed her back up on the bed. He caught her lips when they were both up on the bed, on their knees facing each other. The toothpaste in his mouth and the liquor on her breath made a less than thrilling blend in his mouth but he didn't care as it felt so good with her tongue wrapped around his. He brought her down on the bed and then let her go once her head was on the pillow. He got back up to remove his tee and smiled as she pulled a deep, satisfied breath and then closed her eyes. He'd heard of kisses that could make girls come to life but none that put them to sleep. The two of them were unique for sure.

He lay down next to her, swiping his hand up her leg and then over her stomach pretending to check that she wasn't cold. She seemed warm enough and he let his eyes swipe over her body. He should probably put the sheet over her though he thought to himself but she was just so damn sexy in her matching black satin bra and panties. He spotted a red line on her thigh and looking closer he saw a few more and realized the ripping of her stockings must've made them. He stroke his hand gently over the most prominent mark, feeling bad for having inflicted marks on her body. He got up on his elbow so he could lean over her, wanting to check the other side. He couldn't spot anything on that side, running his hand in underneath her a bit to make sure he couldn't feel anything either.

"A tease too," she whispered croakily and almost made him jump. He leaned back on his elbow so he could watch her.

"Who you calling a tease?" he smiled, "I'm not the one laying here all sprawled out in seductive lingerie looking all gorgeous now am I?"

"Well you are kinda gorgeous," she smiled and he actually thought he could see her cheeks blushing some.

"Then I guess we're a good match," he said leaning down planting a quick kiss on her lips.

"And still a tease," she said once he let her go that quickly.

"Oh? So what do you want then?" he asked running his hand over her stomach, brushing by the hem of her panties.

"Do you want me to touch you?" he asked and she nodded.

"You want me to touch you here?" he asked running his fingers along her bra cups. She nodded. He could see her nipples stiffening underneath the sheer fabric and he ran his hand over them making her take a deep breath.

"Here?" he asked running his hand down her stomach. He didn't catch her nod as he was following his hand with his eyes.

"Here?" he asked reaching down to her thigh, letting his fingers run a little on the inside of it. He didn't get the usual response, the slight shiver through her body, so his eyes came up to meet hers and he continued as he saw her nod.

"Here?" he said running his fingers up between her legs over her panties without putting any pressure to his touch.

"How about here?" he said running his fingers inside the hem of her panties. She opened up her legs slightly as his hand sneaked down inside her panties. He found her parts quickly but less moist than usual.

"I'm sorry," she said and he pulled his hand up a little, still resting inside her panties though.

"I'm just too drunk, I can't feel a thing," she admitted without feeling any embarrassment, at least any visible.

"That's okay," he said leaning down to kiss her cheek. He was actually very tired so he didn't mind a pass right now.

"But help yourself," she said sprawling out a bit, "you have my permission to do whatever you want with my body."

He smiled a bit but pulled his hand up out of her panties and brought it up to her face so he could tilt it a bit towards him.

"Thank you, that's very admirable of you but I prefer you when you participate," he said affectionately.

"Well I can try, I can…" she said reaching down towards his crotch but he grabbed her hand and pulled it back up, placing it against his chest instead.

"You don't have to, Amanda, I'm fine with just being here with you," he said. She tried holding his eyes, had to fight them to not go cross-eyed and then sighed.

"Is this some of your intimacy crap again?" she said trying to turn away but he grabbed a hold and easily got her down on her back again.

"Why is that so hard for you? Intimacy is great," he said forcing her to look at him but then she just closed her eyes.

"It's wasted on me," she said pinching her eyes shut with a smile on her face.

"Oh c'mon, intimacy can never be wasted," he said urging her to open her eyes up by nudging her cheek carefully.

"What are you so scared off?" he asked once he had her eyes again.

"I'm not scared. Amanda Rollins is never scared," she said trying to playfully flex her arm muscles but she couldn't really operate them either she realized. Apparently her body was failing her collectively tonight.

"I think you are," Nick challenging her. He figured he was rather safe since she was so drunk.

"I think you're afraid that I will tell you how I feel about you," he said watching her closely. He did feel a little cowardly that he brought this up right now, she was obviously not in a state for serious talk. He couldn't help to think though that he might get some truthful answers out of her right now.

"Are you afraid that I will tell you I love you Amanda?"

He needed no answer as her body answered for her. He wasn't sure if it was a cringe he saw or if it was just her squirming. Either way she looked very uncomfortable and tried to roll away from him.

"C'mon let's just sleep," she sighed.

"Amanda, tell me," he urged though pulling her back, "does that scare you? Does it scare you to know I love you?"

"I'm not scared, it's just wasted on me," she said trying to get him to lay off her face.

"Why?" he asked a bit stunned.

"You should save that for someone who deserves it," she said and got her hand up on his face to shove it away a bit. She'd never been a sad drunk and she wouldn't start now. She was a drunk drunk though and he easily avoided her hand. He brought it back down on the bed and tried to find her eyes again.

"Why would you not deserve to be loved?" he asked but she managed to avoid his eyes with just as much skill as when she was sober.

"Oh don't go all profound on me, I'm just saying you should direct all that… whatever to some nice girl and don't waste it on someone like me," she said managing to meet his eyes. When he just looked at her she made a funny face at him.

"You can use me for sex whenever though," she said with a laugh that got stuck a bit in her throat.

"I don't want to use you," he whispered feeling a bit sad.

"Well I don't mind, now let's just sleep," she said turning away from him.

He stayed still for a bit but then grabbed the sheet to cover them with and he scooted in close to her. He'd hope the night would end on a happier note. Why would she not find herself worthy of his love? His love wasn't any better or worse than any other. She seemed to think he was on some pedestal, or at least that she was beneath him somehow. Why would she think that? Was this about Nate? But hadn't he made clear to her that he didn't despise her for that, that he put all blame on Nate and not her?

He laid there just staring into her blonde mane for a while, feeling her relax under his arm. He wanted to explain what she said away by her being drunk but he feared this was her true feelings, only coming out thanks to the alcohol. Why would she feel herself unworthy of anything? Didn't she realize just how much he adored her? He couldn't spend a single day at work without thinking about just how much he wanted to hold her, push her up against a wall and kiss her violently or to scream it out loud that he loved her. He loved her. There was nothing she could say or do to make him change his mind about that.

"I don't care what you say," he whispered, "I love you and I'll prove it every day from now on."

She felt about as good as he'd expected she would once she finally woke up later that day. He'd woken up hours earlier, taken a shower and then borrowed a pair of her sleeping boxers and an Atlanta Braves shirt. He made himself some coffee, stole a donut from her kitchen counter and then slumped down on her couch in front of a baseball game on TV. He went to check on her a little later but she was still sound asleep. He'd found Tylenol in her bathroom and put it out along with a glass of water just in case.

Since he got a little bored he snooped around a bit. He figured she might not like it but he was a detective after all. He checked her DVD collection and found mostly action and horror flicks but also some older classics. At the bottom of the bookshelf he found a box and when he opened it he felt a little like he'd hit the mother lode. It was filled with photos. He found class photos of Amanda, some with her in her softball gear all propped up, another one of her at the tracks with some friends. He thought he recognized AJ in one of the photos.

He found plenty of Amanda and her sister, both usually with silly grins like they almost tried to mock the one on the other side of the camera. He didn't put it past any of the sisters, especially when they were young and more untamed. He found some of her with what must be her parents, or at least her mother. She shared many facial features with her mom along with the blonde hair and petite body.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there but he went through the entire box and could've gone through it again if he didn't feel a need to check on Amanda. He put the box back in its place, not sure he would admit to her that he'd peeked at it or not, and then he hurried inside the bedroom feeling a sudden rush to see the person who'd once wore two red ribbons in her soft strands of hair and sulked while propped up against a holiday scene. It was the cutest, sulky toddler he'd ever seen.

She was still asleep, on her stomach and all twisted up in the sheet. He let his hand go up her bare leg and then jumped up to her back and he lay down next to her as his hand swept underneath her bra strap. She moaned a little as he placed kisses on her arm.

"Just kill me know," she mumbled after a while and it made him chuckle.

"I can't do that but I can give you Tylenol," he whispered in case even the tone of his normal voice would be strenuous today.

"I can't swallow," she grunted, "I might just die regardless." He swept away some hair off her face and kissed her temple.

"I think you'll live," he whispered. He kept watching her for a bit and she could probably feel it as she started to stir.

"What time is it?" she croaked.

"Past two," he let her know and she moaned.

"Are you hungry?" he asked but the frown that spread on her face told him what the notion of food did to her gut.

"I need a shower," she said and managed to stretch out a bit. He stayed by her side and just enjoyed seeing her slowly come alive. Soon she was up on her elbows, face in her hands and draped by her hair that was still all curled up.

"I am sorry you're not feeling all that great but I really had a good time last night," he said touching her hair.

"So I didn't do anything that made you shun me forever?" she said from behind her shield of hair.

"No way, you were just great fun," he said, adding after a slight pause, "Don't you remember anything?"

"Some, right now I need to pee," she said and started to ungracefully climb over him to get to the bathroom. He could tell she got a little unsteady on her feet once she got off the bed but she found her bearings quickly and shed her bra on the way into the bathroom. He couldn't help but smile. He rolled over and buried his face in her pillow. It was still warm and he took a few deep breaths into it as he could smell her.

Once he heard the toilet flush and then the shower get turned on he got up on his feet. She'd left the door open but he still stayed semi hidden behind it as he knocked.

"Can I get you some coffee then?" he asked since she'd refrained from food.

"That would be a blessing," he heard her raspy voice say from inside.

"I'll be right back," he said and hurried out into the kitchen. He might just have ulterior motifs for bringing coffee to her in the shower.

"Can I come in?" he asked once he was back with a cup of coffee. He heard something that sounded like a yeah but drenched a little by the shower. He still stepped in and tried to hide a smile as he saw her squatted down on her heels by one wall in the shower. She hadn't pulled the curtain but the shower was pointed to her head and not much spilled outside.

"That bad?" he asked squatting down nearby not caring that some water drops hit him.

"Tylenol should kick in soon, thanks for that," she said with her head still down. It didn't take long though until she popped her head up and even though she was pale she had a smile to offer him. That smile grew a little once she saw the coffee and she got up while trying to turn the shower off. He handed her the perfectly temperature coffee and she let out a delightful moan as she drank it.

"You truly are a godsend," she smiled once the coffee had gone down her pipe.

"And don't forget it," he winked at her. He couldn't keep away and touched her cheek once she'd taken another mouthful coffee. Even drenched she managed to look adorable to him. She leaned into his hand and he had to move his hand back around her neck to wheel her in a bit and he felt the aroma of the coffee once their lips met. He got a taste of it once she let his tongue come in for a visit.

When he finally let her go she got an amused look on her face when he caught what tee he was in.

"What?" he asked wanting to know what she was thinking.

"I just come to think about… well AJ and I, back in the days we were like big Brave fans."

"Were?" he interrupted and she cocked her eyebrow at him.

"Like such big fans we had this deal that we could only hook up with fellow Brave fans. Like exchanging saliva with a Yankee fan was a big no-no and she tried to keep the promise once she got here but it was bound to fail. I think I still have the four pages long e-mail with her amends once she found herself between the sheets with a Yankee fan," Amanda chuckled slightly.

"And what redemptions do you have to own up to by now?" he said letting his eyebrows play at her.

"Oh I'm beyond salvation by now," she said leaning in for another kiss.

He'd made himself let go off her after a while so she could get a proper shower. She looked a whole lot better once she stepped out of the bathroom, the dose of Tylenol, coffee and a warm shower had done it's magic. He even managed to talk her in to ordering take-out and a while later they were enjoying some Chinese on her couch while talking. He managed to steer the conversation to last night and it seemed she had no problem remembering their bathroom escapade. He apologized for her ripped stockings or more so the fact he'd given her marks. She said it was a just price to pay for the pleasure but he wasn't sure if she meant the price of the stockings or the marks. He didn't get a chance to ask her as he soon found her mouth on his. She'd crept in closer between his legs. He was turned towards her on the couch and she folded her legs above his. He let her have his box so she could put it away on the table next to hers.

She smiled cheekily as she scooted even closer once they had no obstacles blocking their path to each other. They kissed for a long time, taking the time to explore every inch of each other's mouths and just slowly moving their hands around each other's bodies. For once she seemed perfectly comfortable with just staying at kissing and he couldn't help but see it as progress. He managed to capture her eyes a while later, they both were in need of some new oxygen. He let his eyes trace every inch of her face and he wasn't sure if it was the hang-over or something else that made her able to just sit through it.

"Do you remember what we talked about once we got home last night?" he asked with barely a whisper. Her eyes narrowed a little as she tried to think back.

"Nah, I'm sorry, I was that drunk," she said shaking her head a little embarrassed. He quickly placed a kiss on her forehead to make her feel better.

"Not anything?" he asked though wanting to make sure it was just not a conscious glitch to get out of the subject.

"We got you to bed, you called me a tease and we started… well I touched you but you said you were too drunk to…"

"Oh I'm sorry, do you want to…" her hand immediately went to his crotch as though she wanted to make up for not coming through last night.

"No, no," he said quickly, "that's not what…" He took a deep breath and shot her a smile. Her hand just lingered on his crotch.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said caressing the side of her hand. He did appreciate her willingness for… well anything but it made him scared it was all about sex for her.

"We talked a bit after that, about intimacy," he watched her closely, looking for any signs on her face.

"Oh," she just whispered and looked honestly unaware. He did feel her hand move away and she placed it on his thigh instead.

"We talked just a little about why it was so hard for you," he said and immediately lost her eyes.

"You should really not take advantaged like that of a girl in that state," she said and came back up to meet his eyes with a cheeky look on her face. She winked at him and he couldn't help but smile but he tried to focus back knowing this was probably just another one of her tactics to get off the subject.

"I asked you if you were afraid of hearing how I felt about you," he said feeling scared but also proud that he managed to be this open and honest with her.

"Nick, I…" she said as she squirmed a bit.

"Don't," he said touching her lips, he didn't want her to try and get out of this.

"I asked you if hearing that I love you scares you," he said and felt a bit chicken for not just saying it out loud but sneaking the 'I love you' in there. He couldn't exactly say what changed but there was a change, in her whole demeanor and even though she remained by him he felt the distance.

"I'm sorry Nick, I really can't right now," she said clearing her throat and sitting up a little.

"I think we need to talk about this though," he tried.

"Well I just can't right now," she said getting up off the couch, "I have a GA meeting in like less than an hour and…" Her words disappeared with her as she walked towards the kitchen with their take-out boxes in her hands. He sighed and momentarily pushed himself back against the couch before he got himself together and took off after her.

"I'm sorry, did you want more?" she said once she spotted him and she extended his food container towards him. He shook it off though. Food wasn't what he wanted right now.

"You said you didn't deserve my love Amanda and I really want to talk about that cause…" She cut him off by placing her lips on his.

"Let's not get into this now okay? I really have to catch my meeting," she said once she let him go which was just as abruptly as she'd started.

"But I…" he said stumbling on the words he wanted to say to her.

"Really have to get going," she said, this time she was the one with her finger on his lips. He sighed, dropping his shoulders and she seemed to take that as a win. If you could call it a win.

"Thanks for getting food into me, that's what I needed after all," she said walking out of the kitchen with the best smile she could fabricate right now. In fact her heart was racing and she'd felt an sudden urge to jump out of the kitchen window just now. She had to make sure to not get that drunk around him again, it was clearly dangerous.

He gave her some time, or perhaps he was the one in need of some time, before he joined her in the bedroom. She'd slipped out of her easy wear and was getting a pair of jeans on. He liked that they were so comfortable around each other, that they could go to the toilet or change in front of each other, but then why was it so hard to talk about their feelings?

"Can we talk later then maybe? I can hang out here or go with you, hang out in your car while you're in there?" he asked really wanting to address this sooner than later.

"You're more than welcome to hang around here but you just never know how long these meetings run and even though I'm feeling rather good right now I have a feeling I'm going to crash soon and with work tomorrow…" she tried to sound casual about it but she was freaking out on the inside. Why did they have to talk? Weren't they having a good time as it was? Why ruin anything?

He looked very disappointed but still nodded.

"I can drop you off at your place, it's not such a long detour," she offered and again he nodded. He got dressed and it didn't take them long to get down to her car. He knew this meeting was real, he'd seen the sheet on her fridge, but he still couldn't help but think it was partly a cop-out. The ride over to his place was quiet, only once broken by her mentioning they still hadn't fixed the window at this store that were vandalized the other week. They'd passed it plenty of times going back and forth to his apartment. Looking at the broken window he couldn't help but symbolize with it a little. She was the one thing that made him feel whole but also broken. How was that even possible? The highs, the lows, the constant rollercoaster. He was enjoying the ride but he couldn't help but wish to get access to that one part he felt left out of, her heart. Was it just that she didn't feel as strongly for him as he did for her? Or didn't she know how she felt or how he felt? Wasn't he being straightforward enough?

They got to his place and he half-hearted listen to her thank again for everything and that she was fully aware she still owed him like a hundred drinks to reset the score.

"So does that mean you'll let me come out with you again?" he asked not able to smile wholeheartedly.

"Sure, I think AJ had a good eye towards you," she smiled back.

"It's more important to me that I got yours," he said not letting her go with his eyes. She smiled a little awkwardly and brushed a few lose strands behind her ear.

"Well I better take off," she said taking a deep breath.

"Okay," he said but didn't move at first. He really wanted to say those three words straight out. I love you. But something made him scared that if he did it would be the last he saw of her, which was nonsense since he knew they would see each other at shift tomorrow.

"Call tonight if you feel like it," he said instead. Please call me.

"Okay, I might crash though," she said. I really want to call you.

"Bye," he said climbing out of her car. I love you.

"Bye," she said. I think I love you.