Chapter 4: Race for the Redhead
Ferb and Perry looked out the window as Mars swung by in a matter of
seconds. The rocket was steadily gaining speed. It would have to get past
the speed of light if they planned to catch up to Phineas during their
lifetimes. Ferb was waiting to hit light speed before he began his search for
Phineas and the ship he'd left on. Ferb was pretty sure it wouldn't take long
to find it. Besides the fact that the rocket's instruments had picked up the
rift in the solar wind it had caused, Ferb had a secret weapon up his sleeve.
Perry glanced at Ferb. The ride had been totally silent. Ferb never
talked, and he COULDN'T talk. He looked back out the window and watched
Jupiter whiz past. He was getting bored.
Ferb looked at the control panel. They were close... there, light
speed. He got up and floated over to a small closet. He
opened it up and pulled out a large cylinder that Perry recognized as Phineas'
SETI device.
"I picked this up, just in case," Ferb said to Perry.
Perry gave him a thumbs up.
Ferb floated back to his chair. He knew how Phineas thought, so it
didn't take him long to figure the device out. He quickly found the signal
for the ship Phineas had called and... called it. He waited a moment.
Hgtfpjsh sat next to his craft's control panel. Nothing new had
happened since his talk with Phineas and Isabella. Suddenly, his
communicator, which was on the control panel and not unlike a cell phone,
started going off. He picked it up and a voice called out of it.
"Uhh... hello?" Ferb asked uncertainly.
The device didn't respond at first, then a rough voice answered, "Are
you a human? This is the same signal as Phineas' communicator."
"I'm Phineas' brother, Ferb. I wish to speak with him."
"His brother? I'll call him."
The line went dead for a bit. Ferb and Perry exchanged quizzical
looks. They waited patiently.
"He's coming," the voice said.
"Okay...uh, thanks?" Ferb replied.
No answer. The two waited some more. They finally heard what sounded
like shuffling, then...
"Ferb? Is that you?" Phineas' voice asked.
"Yes, it's me."
"It looks like you picked up my SETI device!"
"I did. I'm calling you-"
"Yeah, I know, you want Candace back, problem is, we just lost her."
"She's dead?" Ferb cried in disbelief.
"What? No, no, she got kidnapped by an alien race that attacked this
spaceship!"
"You mean to tell me she got kidnapped AGAIN?"
"Might be more like rescued, depending on how you look at it."
"How do I know you aren't lying to me?"
"He's not. I saw the whole thing!" Isabella's voice chimed.
"Isabella? Is that you?"
"Yes!
"Hmm... I don't know if I trust you either..."
The rough voice came back, "You got a video feed over there?"
"Yes..."
"Our craft has the event stored in memory. What's the feed signal?"
Ferb gave it to him and he sent the video, which uploaded into the
rocket's computer and played onscreen. Sure enough, it showed a bunch of
freaky-looking aliens breaking in, killing a furry creature, and capturing
Candace while Isabella cowered on the floor.
"Now do you believe us?" Phineas asked.
Ferb sighed, "Yes... do you have any idea where these creatures are?"
"They flew off for the binary stars you call Luyten A and B, but it
was probably a feint to throw us off their trail. Their home world is in the
Epsilon Eridani system, however, I must forbid you to go there," the rough
voice said.
"Why?"
"We cannot risk humans allying with those races. If you were to go
there, we would have to hunt you down and kill you, if the inhabitants didn't
kill you themselves."
"I have no interest in starting an interstellar war. I merely want my
sister back."
"Hey, if you go to get her, then I'm going to go get her first!"
Phineas warned.
"I guess it's a race then," Ferb said flatly.
"Cool!" Phineas replied.
"No! I order you to stay out of that system... wait... how are you
going to get there?" the rough voice asked.
"He probably rebuilt one of the rockets we built earlier this Summer,"
Phineas informed him.
"You are correct, Phineas," Ferb said, "See you in the Epsilon Eridani
system!"
With that, Ferb turned the device off. He was sure the rough voice,
probably an alien, was very angry at the moment.
"Epsilon Eridani. At least she's in the neighborhood. It's only, oh,
around ten or fifteen light-years away," Ferb commented.
Perry growled.
"Oh, Phineas, what have you gotten me into?" Hgtfpjsh groaned. He
barked into his communicator in his own tongue. Soon another Tkpxzv was on
the other end of the line, chatting with Hgtfpjsh in their all-consonant
language. Phineas and Isabella stared at him, wondering what he and the other
guy were saying. Finally he put the communicator down and turned to them.
"I really wish you would've left your sister behind..." Hgtfpjsh
whined, "That was the governor I was just speaking with. He seems to like
your decision to chase after her..."
"What do you mean?" Phineas wondered.
"Our armies are currently trying to conquer a planet inhabited by a
race that is living in the same system as the Alions. He decided that your
first mission will be to build a weapon to help them defeat the Alion force
protecting their planet... and while you're at it, you can go look for your
sister."
"Cool!" Phineas replied.
"No, it's not 'cool'!" Hgtfpjsh ranted, "Did you not hear what I said
about the Alions? We absolutely do not want to face these creatures! Oh, I
hope I live to see my wife again..."
Phineas didn't seem phased, "I guess I have a weapon to design!
C'mon, Isabella! I know what we're gonna do today!"
Isabella wasn't sure if she was glad to hear that again or not. It
was good to hear it, but he was going to design something that she assumed
would be used to kill people-or aliens-or something... then again though, the
Alions sort of seemed like a group that might deserve it... whatever. She
followed Phineas out of the room and left poor Hgtfpjsh to flip out. Soon the
Tkpxzv got a hold of himself and bent his ship's course for Epsilon Eridani.
They had been heading to Sirius, which was in the same general direction, so
they had a big head start on Ferb. He estimated they'd be at the front line
within... Earth units, thirty hours.
"Forget everything else... focus on what you hate the most."
Candace breathed deeply and concentrated on... everything that had
happened to her since she'd busted Phineas and Ferb. It was making her
miserable... but it was also making her angry... at Phineas... yes... he had
caused her misery... and the pharmacist guy too... him...
"Let the pain, the anguish, and the wrath build within you."
She could just see Phineas' smug little triangle face, just enjoying
watching her suffer... watching her FAMILY suffer... Candace began gritting
her teeth.
"Good. What do you hate?"
"I hate... well I don't-"
"Right now, you do."
"Okay... I hate uh... what my brother did to me... I hate his wicked
little grin and I-"
"Yes... good... and you?"
"I want to punch that stupid smirk right off his face."
"Don't you want to take it further? Maybe throw him across the room?"
"Or tear his head off?"
"Why don't I walk you through the process. Arise, see what is before
you."
Candace stood and opened her eyes. A big alien stuffed animal stood
in front of her. It had rips and tears and other damage everywhere.
"We brought your brother here... just for you."
Candace grinned devilishly, "I see."
"You wanna hurt him?"
"Oh yeah."
"You gonna take his head off?"
"Yeah."
"Okay then, short punch!"
Candace delivered a very hard quick punch to the dummy.
"What was that, sis? You hit like a girl!"
"Oh!" Candace snapped. She gave the dummy a crushing pummel whack
before realizing the taunt would've only been insulting if she had been male.
"Aww, wittow sissy's mad. How cute!"
"Shut up!" Candace roared, drawing her fist back.
"Don't punch me yet! I have to walk you through."
Candace's eye twitched as she restrained her boiling rage.
"Wait... not yet..."
Candace's temperature was rising. She thought she could feel smoke
coming out of her ears.
"GO! Stop! I was just kidding, wimp. You're really unpopular by the
way. Everyone hates you."
Candace's face was getting red. She wanted to hit this guy so bad.
"But most of all... you're worthless. Face it. You'll never get
home. You'll never beat me. You could save your family, but not yourself,
and you only saved them because someone else came and saved your sorry hind
end. Face it... you're alone, you're lost... and you don't matter. If you
died no one would care."
These ones hurt. She was sort of worried they might be at least
partly true. Candace was trying so hard not to hit the thing...
"Long punch!"
Candace roared and fired her hardest punch yet into the dummy.
"Useless wimp! You can't even hurt me and I'm half your size!"
Candace started to punch but caught herself.
"Gonna punch again without orders? What a moron. You can't do
anything right."
Candace gritted her teeth in fury.
"Front kick!"
BAM! Candace kicked the stuffed animal as hard as she could.
"So weak. Man, I'm gonna get Ferb down here to show you how it's
done."
Candace was tired of insults. She waited for the signal, and
waited... and waited... she stared at the dummy... this was torture... she
could almost see Phineas' face sneering at her...
"Tired of this?"
"Yeah," Candace replied.
"Tell you what, sis, give me your best shot, just so I can tell you
how weak you are afterward, but only use the techniques or you'll be even more
pathetic than you already are."
Candace yelled furiously and kicked the dummy even harder. Then she
gave it about a dozen quick short punches, followed by a few long ones, some
more kicks and an angry bite.
"That's all? I'll bet a Fireside Girl hits harder than this!"
Candace picked up the dummy and threw it across the room.
"*YAWN* Lame. Weren't you gonna tear my head off or something? Why
don't you-"
Candace was on it already. She grabbed the dummy with both hands and
growled savagely as she pulled on it's head. Fiber stretched and a tearing
noise ripped through the room as she tore the poor thing's head off its
fluffy body then threw it on the ground and unleashed a primal roar.
All around the room the Alions cheered and clapped.
"Not bad, not bad at all!" commended Xosizi, who had been coaching
Candace and pretending to be Phineas, "Go measure that, Yar!"
Yar, another Alion, took a small machine and scanned the ruined dummy.
Then he scanned Candace, who was looking very proud of herself.
"Damage relative to body strength: forty-six!" Yar reported.
"Well, done, Candace! That's the highest first-time score I've ever
seen!" Xosizi praised.
"Why thank you!" she replied, "Great exercise!"
"We use it for our children to help them focus their anger. Without
focus, no level of rage will help you in battle, it will only destroy you,"
Xosizi said, "But when it is focused, it becomes your most deadly weapon."
Candace and the Alions were still on their ship, heading for the
Candasaurus planet. Candace had told them a bunch of things about her life,
but when she was done, they were still far from their destination. To pass
the time, the Alions had decided to teach Candace some of their fighting
techniques.
"We've got a potential soldier here, Xosizi!" Yar commented.
"Fire spirits are great warriors... once they master their passions."
"What's a 'fire spirit'?" Candace asked.
"A flaming ghost," Yar replied.
"No, what Xosizi was talking about?"
"You mean a fiery ghost?" Xosizi said unhelpfully. He chuckled at
Candace's frustrated growl.
"They're fun to tease too," he said, "Everyone has a spirit, Candace.
Our people have classified them into several kinds. Fire spirits are
energetic, passionate, and usually have bad tempers."
"So, you're saying I'm a fire spirit?"
"Well, if your personality hadn't clued us in your hair certainly
would have."
Candace held a piece of her red hair in front of her face and smiled.
"So, what're you?"
"I'm a water spirit, wise, cool and relaxed... for an Alion, anyway."
Xosizi responded.
"What're you, Yar?" Candace asked, turning to him.
"Me? Techno spirit. I'm what you call an engineer."
"You guys have a separate nerd spirit?"
"There's a lot of different kinds," Xosizi replied.
"How many?" Candace pried.
"Don't know. There's a lot."
"Oh."
There was silence for a while. With the exercise completed, they were
running out of things to do. Two of the Alions finally got up and began
sparring with one another, though, with the ferocity of it anyone could have
mistaken it for a real fight. Candace watched them quietly, silently rooting
for the guy on her left, though not for any reason. Her stomach growled.
"Do you have anything to eat on this thing?" she wondered.
An Alion opened a compartment in the wall and pulled out something
that looked like a huge red chicken leg. He threw it at her.
"Oomph!" Candace said, catching it in the gut.
"How's that?" he asked her.
Candace picked it up and studied it carefully. For alien food, it
didn't look bad... she took a bite out of it.
"Mmm..." she said, "tastes like bacon."
"It's Tkpxzv meat," the Alion said proudly, "very good."
Candace cringed a little when she realized she was eating one of the
furry aliens she'd seen earlier... but, at least it wasn't human meat or
something.
The hours passed slowly. Xosizi tried to give Candace some lessons in
Alion language. Candace also attempted to teach him some English, which
reminded her of a strange anomaly from earlier.
"Hey, how was Candy speaking English?" Candace asked.
"They get everything from their prophets," he replied, "That must be
what they taught them."
The rest of the ride was fairly uneventful. Finally the pilot
announced that they were there. Candace couldn't see where they were since
there were no windows, but she felt the craft turn sharply and she and the
other Alions were flung against the wall as the ship began barreling down
through the planet's atmosphere. After a minute the craft stopped, a bit too
abruptly, and threw Candace and the Alions to the garbage covered floor.
"The Blaster has landed!" the pilot yelled from the cockpit.
"This is it, Candace. We're on Trisaria, the Candasaurs' home planet,
and at their capital city!" Xosizi cried.
Candace gulped. This was going to be a weird experience. Just the
thought of a city full of those strange dinosaurs made her brain do
somersaults.
The door fell off the wall and slammed to the ground outside with
an unceremonious thud. Candace gave Xosizi a funny look.
"We'll put it back on," he responded, "ready?"
"Sure," Candace said with a shrug. She followed the Alions as they
jumped out of their spaceship and onto the landing pad outside. Candace was
last. She hesitated before she jumped. She closed her eyes, took a deep
breath and hopped out.
There was a gasp... not from Candace.
Candace landed, stood straight and looked around her.
Surrounding her were dozens of wide-eyed, staring Candasaurs.
"Mommy, is that really her?" a small Candasaur asked.
"I-I think so," his mother replied.
Candace gazed around at the awestruck Candasaurs. She felt really
uncomfortable, to say the least. Most people would if they had fifty big-eyed
freaks looking at them.
Candace dimly noticed the Alions to her side. They seemed to be
enjoying the moment.
"Awkward, isn't it?" Xosizi whispered amusedly to Candace.
The Candasaurs stared for another ten seconds... Candace fidgeted.
"You should probably say something," Xosizi prodded.
"Uh..." Candace grunted, "Hi?"
Some of the Candasaurs blinked.
"Can I talk to her mommy?" the little Candasaur asked.
"Ummm... I don't know-" the mother began.
"Yes, come over here, PLEASE. All of you! Do something!" Candace
interjected.
"The Red and White Goddess of Thunder has returned at last!" a Candasaur
yelled.
"I never thought I'd live to see this day!" another one cried.
A general roar of excitement erupted from the gathered crowd. Candace
heaved a sigh of relief, grateful that the silence had been broken. Something
tugged on her pajamas. Candace looked down.
The small Candasaur gazed up at her, "Are you really Candace?" he
asked.
"Yes, yes I am," she responded.
"Are you going to save us from the Tkpxzv?"
"Um... well... I don't think I can."
"Please Candace? You have to! They killed my daddy and my sister!"
Candace's heart stopped. She stared at the child, unable to answer.
"They blew up our house too... and they-"
"Viljon, that's enough... Candace is tired," the mother's voice said.
Candace looked up and saw the mother standing behind the child. She
bent over and picked him up.
"Forgive him, Thunder Goddess, he's just-" she began.
"Is it true?" Candace interrupted.
The mother Candasaur stared into Candace's eyes for a few seconds.
Candace noticed the crowd had hushed again. They were staring at her and the
mother.
Tears filled the mother's eyes, "Yes..." she whispered shakily, "My
husband and my little girl..." she broke down and wept miserably, "They're
dead..."
Candace looked around at the other Candasaurs. She could see the hurt
in their eyes... she realized most of them had lost loved ones to the Tkpxzv.
She also could see a faint hope in their eyes... and she knew that hope was,
unfortunately, her.
Candace stared at the crying Candasaur. She was in a rotten
predicament. She was the last, lonely, thin chance these aliens had... but
the simple fact was, she wasn't the almighty goddess they thought.
"Xosizi..." Candace whispered, "What should I do? I can't abandon
them, but I can't help them either!"
Xosizi blinked, "I'm a warrior Candace. I believe in honor, and I
believe in bravery. I wouldn't pretend to be something I'm not, but I wouldn't
take the path of the coward, either."
"Are you going to save us, Candace?" the child pleaded again.
Candace looked at the kid uncertainly. His eyes begged her to say
Yes. In fact, the whole crowds' eyes were begging her to say yes.
"What makes you think I can?" she countered.
"You did it before, didn't you?"
"I got struck by lightning while holding the cord to a time machine,
if that's what you mean."
The crowd gasped. Candace sighed. Yep, she'd just done it. She'd
told them the truth. Candace saw the last hope puff out in the Candasaurs'
eyes.
"So you didn't call down lighting?" the kid asked.
"No. That was a fluke," Candace said flatly.
"So... you're not a goddess?" a Candasaur cried.
"All those stories were LIES?" another one yelled.
"Well, they did happen... I'm just not a Thunder Goddess... I'm a
normal person!" Candace replied.
The Candasaurs stared at her in disbelief for five full seconds.
"Well, I guess that's it. We're doomed!" someone in the crowd yelled.
An unhappy murmur rose from the crowd. The kid was still looking at
Candace. She looked back down at him.
"You didn't answer my question," the child said.
"What's that?" Candace responded.
"You didn't tell me if you were going to save us."
This kid was either really naive or hopelessly optimistic.
"I'm just a normal person, I can't do anything for you!"
"You saved our grandmas and grandpas from the T-rex, why not from the
Tkpxzv?"
"I just got lucky! I can't do that again!"
"Yes you can! You're Candace! You can do anything! The heavens sent
you here to save us!"
"Kid, I'm really-" Candace stopped as she felt something tap her. She
turned to see Xosizi looking up at her.
"Children are very wise Candace. You should listen to the little
one," he said.
"But he's wrong! I can't-"
"The greatest war the soldier fights is not on the battlefield, but
within himself. Or herself."
"What?"
"The prize of victory in this, the hardest of wars, is to know
oneself."
"What are you saying? I don't do metaphors."
"You better start doing them if you want to be a warrior."
"Who said I want to be a warrior?"
"Only the strongest will conquer in this war. Most fail because they
lose the faith they had when they were children."
"Meaning?"
Xosizi reached up and pulled Candace's face right in front of his.
His freaky stalk eyes drilled holes through her.
"Think a little. Maybe you'll figure it out."
She thought. It didn't help.
"I give up," she said.
Xosizi rolled his eyes. "Candace, without faith, you will never learn
who you truly are."
Finally, she got it. Maybe it was because he said it plainly. Yeah,
that was probably why. It struck a chord, too. She suddenly remembered her
dream with robe Candace. She could hear the wraith's voice in her mind.
"Find the truth, Candace, then, and only then will you be able to draw
this picture," Robe Candace whispered.
Candace just stood, staring into Xosizi's eyes. He let go of her and
she straightened up. She stared into the sky, which was red, by the way, not
sure if she could muster up the faith to believe in something so ridiculous.
She finally looked down at the kid.
"I guess I can try to help..." she muttered.
The child seemed pleased by this. He smiled and hugged his mom.
"Candace?" a familiar voice called.
Candace looked over, recognizing the voice of Candy, the Candasaur
she'd seen earlier.
"What?" Candace responded.
"The High Priest and the President want to see you," she said.
"Good! Let's get rolling I'm sick of standing here!" Xosizi barked.
He and the other Alions tramped after Candy. Candace followed behind them.
The now-hopeless Candasaurs watched as they left, feeling about as good as a
dog turd smells.
